Secluded in Red
by Nerwen Aldarion
Summary: Co written by SteeleSimz: When another Red John case happens Lisbon worries over Jane's obsession, a thoughtless pronouncement leads to surprising results. And Jane realizes that his worst nightmare barely scratched the surface of the terror Red John can unleash. Jisbon.
1. Playing With Fire

Disclaimer: We don't own The Mentalist, it would be very scary if we did LOL

A/N Nerwen Aldarion: I know I'm completely insane writing a fourth multi chap when I have a bunch more to do but honestly this is all Steele's fault. I got this idea when I was chatting with her about her fic Red Leaves of Fall (READ THAT ONE!) and we started passing ideas back and forth and before we knew it we were writing this one together. Our evil minds have combined together to bring you this cruel work, we truly are evil LOL

A/N SteelSimz: So I know I have a current one but after several conversations with Nerwen I couldn't but help agree to write this story. Combined with our evilness I think we came up with something worth reading. A special thanks to Nerwen for the suggestion because it has been a amusing, violent ride so far. Enjoy the story.

NOTE: THIS CHAPTER DOES HAVE SOME M-RATED SCENES YOU ARE WARNED!

* * *

Secluded in Red

Chapter 1: Playing With Fire

Jane unlocked the door to his motel room and stepped inside before tossing his keys onto the table and heading over to the teakettle he had. Filling it with water he started the burner and waited for the water to boil. It had been a relativity quiet day at the office until he got bored and decided to do some tricks on the team which earned him not only the cold the shoulder from Lisbon but also her yelling at him to leave after a few hours. He was making his way to his attic when she'd stopped him.

_ "Don't you dare head up there." Lisbon said annoyed right before finishing off her coffee._

_ "Where do you suggest I go?" Jane smirked. Lisbon raised an eyebrow and purposely walked over to him slowly. _

_ "Go to your motel before I force you to leave." _

_ "Why exactly?"_

_ "Jane, you are pestering everyone here, so for the sanity of my team and me, I suggest you just go."_

_ "Where is your sense of fun?" He asked knowing full well that he was pushing her buttons. _

_ "I swear I will shoot you if you don't leave."_

_ "I give." He raised his hands in surrender. "But, what if a case comes up?"_

_ She shrugged. "__If__ I need your help then I will call you."_

_ "When haven't you needed my help?" Jane asked quizzed. _

_ "Jane, just get out of here." Lisbon ordered before walking away from him. He swore he head her mutter the word "jackass" as she went into the kitchen. _

So now he was back at his motel with nothing to do. Sitting down on the bed he grabbed the remote and flipped on the TV and started to go through channels in hope of finding something about animals on the Discovery Channel. He saw a talk show and stopped, they had a young man talking about his new book. Jane rolled his eyes and was about to turn the station when the image of Red John's smiley appeared on the screen. He turned up the volume and listened closely.

"Well, you see I don't believe that Red John is the bad guy here." The man he presumed was the author said.

"But he is responsible for several deaths." The over-plucked reporter pointed out.

"Yes, but I believe he was forced to do all these murders under hypnosis." The guy stated with a knowing smile. Jane wanted to punch that smirk off his face. He reminded him so much of himself at that age, cocky, arrogant, and clueless about the world around him.

"In your new book, you state that you firmly believe that one man is responsible for causing all of this." The reporter held up a book that was entitled: _Into The Darkness of Red: The True Red John Story._

"Yes, you see this man used his ability to con Red John so he could then make money off him."

The woman cocked her head to the side. "And who is this man, Mr. Chase?"

"Patrick Jane." Mr Chase replied without hesitation.

She looked unconvinced over the ridiculous claim. "But wasn't Mr. Jane family killed at the hands of Red John."

"I am led to believe that Mr. Jane killed his own family then made it look like Red John." Jane felt like throwing the remote at that ludicrous assumption

"But why all the other murders?"

"Those poor people were murdered because they stumbled upon Mr. Jane secret." Well this was getting even better.

"Which is?"

"That he was a fraud."

_"Except I admitted that freely you moron,"_ Jane thought.

"But he admitted that he was one after the deaths of his family." The reporter stated as he looked down at his notes.

"Publicity stunt." Mr. Chase smiled at the camera before continuing. "See Mr. Jane needed more reason for the public to be afraid of him so he created this whole scheme. Now he is using his ability to send Red John to do his bidding then he goes to the crime scenes and gives false clues to those working for the CBI."

_"I wish I was that brilliant, that would be a real trick."_

"And you believe the CBI has no notion of this?" The reporter questioned.

"I believe that they are either blinded by their own stupidity or they are under hypnosis."

_"My, my mass hypnosis of the entire CBI, I really am a genius."_

"Your book is a very bold and much different from those written about Red John."

"That is true, but once again I must state that I believe that Red John is not doing the killing under his own power."

"If you could meet this so called Red John what would you say to him?" The reporter's question made Jane jump to his feet and walk over closer to the TV. The teakettle was whistling but he didn't care.

He looked directly into the camera now. "I would say that you are not responsible for these awful killings. Rather you have been force to kill by a man with a stronger mind that craves injustice. You are innocent and incapable of hurting anyone unless you are under the power of Mr. Jane." Mr. Chase finished.

"Well, that is it for now. Mr. Chase's new book is due out next week." The reporter flashed her bright grin and the show went to a commercial. Jane pulled his phone out of his vest pocket and press speed dial one.

"I told you to go home." Lisbon answered crankily.

"We have a problem, Lisbon."

"What?" Lisbon voiced was filled with concern. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, but I believe that Red John is about to kill again."

"Jane…" Lisbon said not convinced.

"Teresa, trust me." He pleaded.

She sighed heavily. "How do you know?"

"I just watched a man talk about him on TV. He claimed Red John had no power over who he killed but rather I forced him to do all of this."

Lisbon was quiet for a few moments before speaking. "What is his name?"

"The last name is Chase."

* * *

"Jane, will you please stop pacing?" Lisbon told him as she pinched the bridge of the nose. The two of them were in her office she was sitting at her desk but Jane was making tread marks on the floor.

"He is going after him." Jane finally stopped moving and took a seat from across her.

"Jane, we have people looking for him."

"They are not working hard enough." His voice was firm and cold, she hated it when he sounded like this.

"Jane!" Lisbon warned just as her phone rang. "Hello. Yes. Will be there shortly." She hung up the phone and looked over at Jane. "We are up."

"What? No, we have more pressing matters."

"Jane, mouthing off on camera isn't a crime," she reminded him.

"But-"

"No, we are officers of the law and unless Chase committed a crime there is no reason to continue searching for him." Lisbon told him as she got to her feet and headed out the door to the bullpen.

The rest of the team were sitting at their desks, idly doing reports in order to pass the time. "We're up."

"What's the case?" Rigsby asked.

"A murder by the docks. Rigs you drive." Lisbon ordered right before she felt Jane place a hand on her elbow.

"You can't let this matter drop." Jane insisted.

"I know this is important to you but my hands are tied." She moved away from him and headed back to her office to grab her stuff.

But Jane was persistent. "So that is it?"

"Yes." Lisbon sighed as she opened the desk drawer and grabbed her gun. "Come to the scene, it will help distract you for a while."

"I don't want to be distracted." Jane pouted and crossed his arms across his chest.

"You are my consultant so you do as I say."

"Since when?"

"Since forever, Jane." Lisbon grabbed his arm and forced him out of the door. "Go meet up with the guys."

"We are making a mistake." He told her over his shoulder as he walked over to the elevator.

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They arrived at the scene and Jane was out of the car before Rigsby had the chance to turn off the engine.

"Is he okay?" Van Pelt asked as the four of them got out, her eyes following Jane.

"He will be fine." Lisbon closed the door and waited for Rigsby to join the team. "Cho, Rigs, go check out the scene. Grace, you are with me."

"Yes, boss." Cho answered and headed off in the opposite direction.

"Let's go." Lisbon motioned as she and Van Pelt headed over to the sheriff.

"Agent Lisbon?" The sheriff asked as they approached.

"Yes."

"Sheriff Taylor." He held out his hand and Lisbon shook it.

"Who is the victim?"

"Lisbon!" Jane yelled from a distance. Lisbon ignored it and focused on the sheriff.

"Thomas Chase, a local writer." The sheriff explained calmly.

"Excuse me?" Lisbon asked shocked. She couldn't quite believe what was happening now.

"Hmm, the last name is Chase."

"Jane." Lisbon muttered under her breath and walked away from the sheriff and headed to the crime scene.

"I told you." Jane told her when she approached him.

"Did he leave a smiley face?" Lisbon asked cautiously.

"Not around here but if you check his apartment you are bound to find one." Jane said as he walked away from her. He stopped a short distance away from her before turning around. "You should have listened."

"Jane, we had no way-"

"_You_ knew!" He yelled.

"Jane, lower your voice."

"I told you and you did nothing." Then he pointed to the body. "His death is your fault." Then he walked away from the scene.

* * *

Jane was obsessed. There was no other way to put it. Lisbon had long since come to expect this from him whenever a Red John case came up. But he was angry, angry because she had failed to get to Chase in time to catch Red John. A part of her knew that his anger was mostly focused on himself, on what he perceived as his own failings…but she couldn't really blame him for putting some of the guilt on her.

She should have listened.

Lisbon couldn't even figure out why except…except a part of her really just wanted this to end. This nightmare seemed infinite and took darker turns every year. She hated this, hated not knowing when this monster would strike, hated feeling so useless. But most of all…she hated what all of this did to Jane.

He was in his attic again, disappearing with the reports from the crime scene. Lisbon didn't know if he wanted absolute silence while looking over the evidence…or if he was trying to find some lead so he could work this alone. Probably both.

Well she didn't give a damn about his need for silence; she was going to keep him in line this time. This time…he wasn't going to be alone.

She was quiet as she opened the attic door. There he was, sitting by the window, a file open on his lap but he wasn't looking at it. He was staring out at the view, she knew he wasn't seeing it; he was lost in his own thoughts.

"Jane…" she began softly, "do you want to talk?"

Jane didn't look at her. "I'm working."

"Take a break." He didn't say anything, didn't move at all. Lisbon sighed and stepped closer to him. "Jane, I really think we should talk."

Finally he turned around to look at her, she saw cold determination in his eyes. "Fine…talk."

Lisbon hated that he was putting all of the weight of this conversation on her. But she was the one who started this after all. "It is not my fault that Red John killed Chase."

"Fine."

"It's not your fault either." For a second she saw a glimmer of emotion in his eyes, a bit of pain and guilt. She knew she had him here. "Chase was well versed in the Red John file, he knew there are risks when he reached out to him."

"He was a fool," Jane agreed, "a fool with an even more foolish idea."

Lisbon nodded. She thought about leaving, about letting it all go but Jane's voice stopped her before she could turn. "He met him."

"What?"

"Red John reached out to Chase before…gave him information."

She gaped at him for a minute. "How…how would you know that?"

"His book," Jane answered simply, "he knows things, things only Red John would know. This was a set up, a game for him just as much as it is for me."

Lisbon closed her eyes for a minute as she processed this information; she opened them again to stare into his face. "All right…what do we do now?"

"I'm going to find out where."

Her eyes flashed. "_You_? No you are not going to do this alone." Jane gave her a look, as if to say that her words were pointless. "Stop this, Jane. I'm done letting you pull your one man crusade to find this bastard, you will need our help."

"What I need is to be left in peace."

"Stop pushing us away."

He stood up, as if he was exasperated with her. "I'm doing what needs to be done."

"No, you are doing what _you_ want because of revenge," she corrected him. "Can't you see that there is more to life then chasing a ghost?"

"What else is there?"

"People, Jane. People who want to help, people who care about you, people who l—." She stopped herself from uttering the last word, she was not about to lay that down at his feet. But Lisbon could see that it was useless, he already knew.

But it didn't seem like he cared.

Jane gave her the coldest look she had ever seen from him. "There is nothing more important than revenge. _Nothing_."

"And what about the team? What about me?"

"Nothing."

She felt that word pierce her heart like a knife through the chest. It hurt, it hurt knowing that she was worth so little in his eyes. For a second she almost lost the battle with her emotions, she felt the rush of tears but she somehow found the strength to swallow it down.

It was her turn to be cold.

"Maybe I am nothing to you," Lisbon stated, "But I am still in charge of this investigation. So you will tell me _everything_ you have, starting with the list of places to check."

"Or you'll do what?" Jane asked, almost amused by this, "Arrest me?"

"No, I'll have to taken off the case." She glared at him coolly. "Look at me, see if I'm lying."

She wasn't. She knew that and so did he. For a second she saw a flash of rage in his eyes and he glared at her. But he wisely kept his mouth shut; she was not above physically hurting him if she had to. He walked over and handed her a small slip of paper. "You are making a mistake."

"Maybe," Lisbon replied, "But it shouldn't matter. Since you don't care what happens to me."

Jane didn't say anything and she couldn't tell what he was feeling, he was wearing that same cold mask once more.

Lisbon just gave him one more cold look before turning back away from the attic and heading to the bullpen. Her stride was fast and angry, a part of her really wanted to go back up there and give Jane a piece of her mind. Another part of her hated herself for still feeling sympathy for him, for making excuses for his behavior.

He was sad and broken, he needed to be healed. She knew that and she still couldn't believe that he had actually meant everything he'd said.

So the person she really hated in this moment was the one responsible for it all. Red John.

The rest of the team was busy working at their desks. Lisbon walked right over to where Grace was and handed her a list. "Find the addresses for these places, we are all going to take some and search them. Jane thinks Chase met up with Red John at one of them."

"Okay," Grace said, taking the slip of paper. But she eyed Lisbon with concern. "You're upset."

"I'm fine."

"You don't sound fine."

Lisbon thought about denying it but she was too furious to actually put up the effort. "I hate this," she admitted. "I hate how Jane gets whenever Red John enters the picture. He becomes obsessed and shoves everyone aside."

Grace looked at her sympathetically. "I know."

"I hate him," Lisbon declared. "I hate the bastard that made Jane like this." She smiled bitterly now. "You know what? I'd love to meet Red John, so I can tell him to his face what I really think about him."

"Wouldn't that be a trick," Cho remarked, not even looking up from his work.

"Meeting him would be dangerous," Grace reminded her.

"I don't care, I hate him for what he did to Bosco…but mostly for Jane. I think he's a miserable son of a bitch," Lisbon stated. She stared off into space for a moment, briefly imagining her fantasy of finally getting to meet the bastard…and possibly slugging him. Then she turned her attention back to Grace. "Let me know when you have the addresses. I want to get started on this right away."

* * *

For once Lisbon was ready for this case to be over with. It wasn't even about finding Red John anymore it was about getting Jane back, her Jane. He always went this crazy over Red John but he never took out on her…except now. She hated this, hated watching him fall deeper and deeper into the abyss.

More than anything she wanted to punch the man responsible for all of this.

But she was working a case because she was a professional and she had a job to do. Which is why Lisbon was hunting down the places Chase had gone to in the past few weeks. They needed to know where he might have met up with Red John or any of his followers.

She didn't know what reason he would go to an old abandoned warehouse though.

Lisbon checked the door; it was unlocked so she carefully stepped into the building. The place was dirty and deserted. The floor was littered with beer bottles, cigarette stubs and pieces of rope. One old rusty chair sat in the middle of the floor, just resting there. She made a quick run through the room but didn't see anything that was suspicious. Looks like this was just another dead end.

Until she turned around to see the dark figure with a gun.

It took a second for the danger to register in her mind, and then her hand instinctively went for her gun. "I would not do that Agent Lisbon, we both know that it is fruitless."

The voice was soft, cultured, high pitched, and muffled by the transparent mask. Transparent mask…she remembered hearing that description before.

"You know who I am." He said and she could hear his smile. "Wonderful, then you are well aware why it is in your best interest to do as I say."

All she could do was gape at him, this monster that had been a constant nightmare for the past decade. He was right. She knew. She knew she was in incredible danger, she knew what this man was capable of and she knew that she should be very, _very_ afraid.

"Now, take out your weapon." Lisbon carefully pulled out her gun, using two fingers to put it out in front of her. "Set it on the ground." Lisbon did as she was told, never once taking her eyes off of him. "Kick it away."

The skittering sound of her gun sliding across the floor was a reminder that she was by no means safe now.

Red John stepped closer to her so now she was looking into his cold eyes. They were a dark brown, almost black. That was the one part of him she would ever be able to identify beyond his voice. "Well, Agent Lisbon. You finally have what you want. Now you and I can talk, face to face, as you requested."

She had said that. In a fit of rage she'd said she wanted to meet him and now…now here they were.

"Tell me. What did you want to say?" He asked, his voice quiet and reflective. "What was so important that we had to meet?"

Lisbon stared at him, mostly trying to keep her own fears in check. She didn't want to start shaking or crying in front of him; she didn't want him to know that she was afraid.

"I could venture a guess. Patrick, you want to talk about Patrick."

The mention of Jane was enough to spark that anger that was simmering within her, that burning hatred for this man. "I want you to stop hurting him."

Now Red John laughed. "Don't play the naïve fool. You know that not all of his pain is caused by me. He has had chances to stop this game, to walk away, he refuses."

"He doesn't have a choice."

"Of course he does. He may hide behind pronouncements of protection but we both know it boils down for revenge. His desire for revenge outweighs everything." He pointed the gun straight at her face. "Except for you."

She didn't break eye contact as he continued. "I have wanted to meet you for a very long time, ever since I realized how much you truly meant to him. Patrick has proven time and again that he is willing to sacrifice anything to get to me…except you." He ran the pistol of the gun across her chin. "Have you ever thought about why that is?"

It took a lot of willpower to remain calm but somehow Lisbon found that strength. "No."

He laughed lightly again. "Liar." He pulled the gun back a few inches. "It consumes you, wondering why, why do you matter so much to him? Is it possible to hope? Hope that he could feel something for you…the same way you feel for him.

"You're so loyal, Agent Lisbon. We could pretend that comes from just time and friendship but that would be foolish. I am not blind, I have seen much, much more than Patrick or you have ever realized. I know how you feel; I know he captured your heart without any intention without you even realizing it until it was too late.

"You love him," Red John stated this with firm authority, "there is no need to lie to me anymore, Agent Lisbon. I knew you loved him before you did."

Somewhere in the middle of his speech she had stopped breathing and all she could hear was the pounding of her heart, loud and fast in her ears. "I…I don't…"

He put the gun to her cheek now. "I told you…there is no point is lying to me."

It went against the grain to be at all open with this monster. But she didn't really have a choice. He was right, there was no point in lying to him.

"What do you want?" she asked him honestly.

Red John pulled the gun back again. "For Patrick to see my vision."

Lisbon shook her head. "That won't happen."

"You're so certain."

"I know Jane. He might be blinded by revenge but he is not blind to what you are and what you do."

He took one step closer to her. "Patrick and I are more alike then you would believe. We share the same talents, the same mind and the same ability to inspire loyalty and trust…it is not illogical to believe we could share the same vision."

"Jane is nothing like you."

"Blind devotion," Red John stated, "you don't even recognize how deep you are. You'd follow him into hell just to be with him, to save him. Saint Teresa falling for the sinner. It's a very beautiful tale. The question is, can the saint redeem the sinner?"

She stared at him for a very long time, she couldn't find any way to refute his claims. She did love Jane; she'd known that for a while. She wanted to save him, she knew that too. He might drag her down to hell with him…but she was willing to take that risk.

Everything he'd said was the truth.

"What do you want?" Lisbon asked him again.

"What do _you_ want?" Red John asked, avoiding her question.

She straightened her posture. "I want to save him."

"And how do you plan to do that?" Red John said, she could feel his smirk, "it is in direct opposition to _my_ plans."

"You can't have him," Lisbon told him, her voice firm.

"That implies he's yours."

She faltered at that statement, hating that Red John had managed to catch that slip. Jane wasn't hers, not really. But she wanted him to be. "He won't go with you."

"You cannot be certain of that."

"Neither can you."

For once Lisbon realized she had Red John, she'd actually shown him up. She knew it from the way he'd stiffened, from the glint of anger in his eyes. Then he relaxed, clearly impressed at her quick mind. "You're right, I cannot be certain. But I do know that this game is going to end in one of two ways. One of us will die…or he will finally see the true purpose of my plans."

Lisbon shook her head quickly. "No."

"You are not a fool, even you should see that it is the truth."

She tried to fight those thoughts, to refute his logic but Red John was many things…foolish was not one of them. A sickening feeling twisted her stomach into a knot; she knew that Red John was right about one thing. Jane was determined to have this end with Red John dead…and she could see where Jane might be the one who sacrificed his life instead.

If Red John was right about that…he might be right about the other.

She had to stop it.

"No," Lisbon said again, "I can't let that happen."

"It is inevitable."

She shook her head. "You can't have him, maybe he'll die but I won't let you twist him into following you either."

"But that is my wish."

"Choose something else then."

He put the gun to her cheek, pressing hard until her flesh molded to the muzzle. "Do you truly believe that you can win this?"

But she didn't back down. "What do I have to do to save him?"

Red John stared at her for a very long time. To her surprise she didn't see anger or resentment but something very close to admiration in his gaze. "There is only one thing…"

"What?"

He stepped back, his gun still pointed at her. She could feel the smirk radiating from his whole demeanor.

"A trade."

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Jane was doing what he normally did on nights like this. He was holed up in his attic flipping through the manuscript of Chase's book, trying to find that connection to Red John. Something was there, it was right in front of him. He just had to see it.

He was distracted from his work when his phone rang. He wasn't surprised to see Lisbon's name pop up on the screen. Jane wondered if Lisbon would lecture him about his obsessions or just sullenly sulk. He'd been rather cruel to her and he knew he owed her an apology.

Jane sighed and picked up the phone. "Yes, Lisbon?"

But she didn't say anything. All he heard was heavy breathing and silence.

"Lisbon?"

Still nothing and Jane felt a sick feeling in his gut that something was very wrong.

Then the line went dead.

It only took a minute for Jane to find out where Lisbon had been going from Grace. He didn't say anything to anyone else on the team but got in his car and headed towards the warehouse she'd been checking out. The first thing he saw was her car parked outside and Jane felt his anxiety only heighten.

She was in trouble. Something was wrong.

He carefully walked into the warehouse, the door was unlocked and it was completely silent. "Lisbon?" He called out, honestly terrified of what he might find.

Then he heard the most beautiful sound he knew.

Her voice.

"Jane?"

He breathed a sigh of relief before entering the room completely. He saw her immediately, seated in a rusty chair in the middle of the room, her hands behind her back. Jane rushed over to her as she still struggled with her bonds.

Her hands were tied behind her back with rope, the knots were intricate but a puzzle Jane could easily solve. Her gun was resting in her lap. "You all right?" Jane asked, his voice slightly wooden because he was beginning to recognize what had happened.

"I'm fine," Lisbon told him. He pulled on the rope and the bonds fell free and Lisbon was finally able to draw her arms back. But Jane put both hands on her shoulders to keep her from leaving.

Jane looked into her eyes, searching with his probing gaze. "He was here."

Lisbon stared back at him. "I'm okay."

"What did he do?"

"He didn't hurt me."

"What did he do?"

"Nothing," Lisbon replied. "We talked."

"About what?"

"You," Lisbon told him honestly. "You and him and the game you are playing. He said that one of you is going to have to die."

"He's right," Jane said, taking her hands in his and helping her to her feet.

Lisbon didn't like the sound of that statement, he could tell. But he didn't let her leave yet. There was one more important question he had to ask. "Why did Red John do this? Why did he want to meet you?"

She gave him a hard look and then a very small smile. "I asked."

She didn't give him time to ponder that bit of information; she headed out to her car, putting the phone to her ear to call in the rest of the team. Jane watched her go, knowing that something else had happened.

But damned if he knew what it was.

* * *

It was quiet in Jane's attic and he wasn't expecting things to pick up by any means. That was fine, he was ready to enjoy a quiet evening of tea and brooding. It was Lisbon who had other plans as she quietly entered the attic. That wasn't unusual.

Her locking the door was.

"Lisbon," Jane said, turning around to look at her. "What are you doing here?"

She stood by the door for a few moments, toying with her hands. She was nervous, he didn't know why though. "I…I wanted to talk about what happened today."

That interested him. "Are you going to admit that there was more to the story?"

"No," Lisbon told him. Her voice was firm but she didn't go on either, for once Jane wasn't entirely sure if she was lying or not. She was hiding something…maybe.

She stepped forward softly. "I met Red John, Jane…and he didn't kill me."

"You have no idea how happy I am," Jane told her. His voice was flat; he was trying to keep her at a distance. It wasn't how he really felt though; the elation at knowing that she was safe could not be expressed by any joy or action. Nor the all-encompassing fear at realizing just how close she had been to being killed by his nemesis.

"Lisbon…I am sorry," Jane managed to say. "What I said to you earlier…that was wrong."

"But it was the truth," she said softly.

"No, not really," he told her, "but…it has to come first."

"I know," Lisbon replied, "I know." She looked down at her feet for a moment and then met his eyes again. "But something happened today and I…there is something I have to do now."

"What?" Jane asked, honestly unsure over what she was talking about exactly.

Lisbon didn't say anything at all. But there was a determined look on her face as she walked towards him. Every step bringing her closer and closer and Jane suddenly began to wonder if she was going to…

She stopped right in front of him, so close that they could feel the warmth of each other's skin. Lisbon looked up at him with liquid eyes; Jane was enraptured by her in this moment. She reached up to put one hand on either side of his face, stepped up on her toes so she could press her lips to his.

The kiss was soft and gentle, a first exploration of new territory. He didn't respond at first, surprised and not surprised by what was happening. But when her tongue traced the seam of his mouth…well there was only so much temptation a man can take.

He pulled her against him and let the kiss deepen for a moment, finally tasting the inside of her soft mouth. He could feel her hands shaking as they moved up to twine themselves in his hair. Jane put his hands on her shoulders to gently push her away, but not far. "Lisbon…what are you doing?"

"What I want."

She moved to kiss him again but he stopped her. "Why now?"

"Because…I'm finally letting myself."

"Are you sure you want to do this?" He asked, "You don't know what you are getting into."

"Yes I do," she told him firmly, "Why are you trying to stop it?"

"Maybe I don't want this."

Lisbon shook her head. "That's not true."

"Oh you are so certain?"

"Of course," she scoffed at him, "You said you loved me and then lied about it."

"Did I?"

She ignored his lie again. "You get jealous any time I even work with another man."

"Oh, poor Rigsby and Cho then."

"You kissed me back just now."

Well he couldn't very well deny that. "Maybe it was just curiosity…and now I want to let you down easily."

But a wicked grin appeared on her lips. Suddenly her hand meandered down his neck, across the buttons of his vest and found its destination at the front of his pants. He hissed with pleasure at the feel of her small hand gliding over the hard length of him through the fabric of his clothing. Jane couldn't help but close his eyes at the sensation.

"You don't want to let me down," she leaned in and whispered huskily in his ear, "When everything else is going _up_."

A feral growl escaped his throat and he looked down to see a devilish gleam in her eye, right before he attacked her mouth with his.

Lisbon continued her slow torture, increasing the pressure which only made Jane even more frenzied with his passion. His hands twined in her hair, then down her back to her waist so he could press her even closer to him.

She finally moved her hand back up to his chest where she methodically began to undo the buttons on his vest and shirt. That brought a moment of clarity from Jane, in between the cloud of lust that was hanging over his mind. He stilled her hand with his. "Red John is already after you," he reminded her.

"I'm not putting my life on hold for him." Lisbon said taking her hand out from underneath his. He wouldn't let her undress him…so she started to undress herself. Slowly unbuttoning her blouse one by one to reveal her small perfect breasts beneath the lace of her black bra.

His breath caught in his throat at the sight. She smiled softly and took his hand in hers, bringing it to her breast. Jane couldn't stop himself from feeling, from letting his thumb glide over her nipple. The sensation was heavenly.

But there was one thing she had to know.

"It won't change anything, Lisbon," Jane reminded her, "I won't stop looking for him…and he will come first."

"I know," Lisbon told him and he was shocked to see that she wasn't lying. "And I don't care." She moved closer, now pressing her breasts up against his partially revealed chest. "Stop fighting, Jane. Take what you want."

"And you know what I want?"

"You want me," Lisbon said firmly, "So stop being a coward and just take it!"

Jane never did handle challenges wisely.

In a flash he had her pressed up against the attic wall and finally tasted the soft white flesh of her throat. She moaned at the pleasure and returned to her earlier task of taking off his vest and shirt, greedily running her hands over the skin she revealed.

"Are you still going to call me a coward?" he whispered in her ear, tracing the shell with his tongue.

"You haven't even started yet."

His hands found the front clasp of her bra and soon she was rid of her fabric. He didn't waste time, leaning down to taste the flesh he revealed. He heard her ragged breath when he took one pink bud into his mouth and she pressed his head closer to her chest. He gave the same attention to the other breast and she was panting by the time he lifted his head to meet her eyes. For a moment all they did was look at each other, for the first time not hiding the longing in their gaze, then she pulled him up into a hungry kiss.

Her hands found the fastening of his pants and soon enough they dipped inside to feel him without the barrier of clothing. It took a moment for Jane to gather himself; the sensations she was bringing were blissful. His fingers found the button on her own garments. "We should move this somewhere more comfortable."

"Shut up," she told him, squeezing him now. A strangled sound emitted from his throat when she did that and there certainly was no turning back now.

He pushed her pants down while she did the same to him but he pressed her up against the wall to return the favor. Running his fingertips over the inside of her thigh and then up to her wet core. He buried two fingers inside of her and she let out a sharp cry, digging her fingernails into his biceps.

Jane let her get lost in the sensation of his thrusting fingers for a few moments before leaning in and whispering in her ear. "Coward?"

She bit her lip and then opened her eyes, trying to fight the sensations he was causing. "That remains to be seen."

He smiled now and she whimpered in disappointment when he removed his fingers. Only to groan with delight as he lifted her up against the wall. They both gasped when the crown of him nudged her folds and then he slid in with one deep thrust.

They reveled in that moment, of skin on skin, feeling the sensation of being filled completely. Then they joined in a fast, rough rhythm of lust.

Lisbon's cries were muffled by the skin of his shoulder but his own gasps and pants filled the air. He pressed her closer to the wall, putting one hand against it for leverage as he quickened the pace. This wasn't slow and sweet, this wasn't about lasting…this was just raw passion.

She bit into his shoulder just when he felt her walls clench around him and she let out a loud moan. He was barely able to hold out through her climax but managed to steady himself long enough to keep up the pace.

Lisbon was still shaking from the aftershocks, running her fingertips over his slick skin. "Let go," she whispered into his ear.

And he did.

It took a long time for them to come down from that high. He was still buried inside of her, his face pressed against the warm skin of her throat, her hands gently stroking his damp curls. Finally he pulled back to meet her eyes and he didn't see any regret there.

He wondered about that. About all of this. Lisbon would never have let this happen, not now and especially not like this.

Something was different.

But he'd wonder about that later.

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The sound of a vibrating phone broke the silence in the very early hours of the morning. The sun was only just breaking through the clouds, not yet warming the chilly air in the dark attic. Lisbon shivered and pressed closer to the warm body that was surrounding her. But her phone kept buzzing and finally her mind clicked that she had to answer it.

She scrambled for it, finding it on the floor right underneath her. "Lisbon," she answered, not taking the time to check the I.D.

"Boss," Cho said his voice was as emotionless as always. "We have a case."

Lisbon sat up, actually covering her naked body with her arms as if the man could see her. "All right, where is it?"

She listened as he told her the address and what little information he knew. Then he said, "You want me to call Jane?"

Lisbon glanced over at the man in question. He'd woken up during her scramble for her phone and was now looking at her with a questioning glance. His hair deliciously sexy and rumpled from sleep and her fingers.

"Uh…no, I'll tell him myself," she replied, not once taking her eyes off Jane. "Call Rigsby and Van Pelt, I'll meet you there." Lisbon hung up her phone, still looked at him. "We have a case."

"I figured that."

They simply stared at one another for a long moment, the gravity of their actions the night before finally sinking in.

"So…" Jane said, breaking the silence, "that happened."

Lisbon nodded, smiling softly. "Yeah it did." She met his eyes with a gentle gaze. "We'll talk about it…later, okay?"

"All right," Jane agreed. She wanted to kiss him but decided not to press her luck. Instead she moved to get off of the cot, groaning at the crick in her neck and her sore muscles. "God, Jane, how the hell do you sleep on that thing?"

"Usually I don't have to share it," he replied smoothly.

She was ready to reply but was stopped short by the sight of Jane bending over to pick up his clothes, giving her a perfect shot of his magnificent ass. He turned around and grinned when he caught her staring, she blushed and looked away, finally gathering her own clothes.

"I have a change of clothing in my locker," Lisbon told him as she pulled her pants on. "I'll get them while you head out to the scene," she quickly told him the address.

"You have to change?"

"I don't want them wondering why I'm wearing the same clothes from yesterday."

"I doubt they'll suspect you were up here with me doing unspeakable things against that wall."

She blushed again, more at the memories this time. "I don't want them asking questions either way." Then she met his eyes with all seriousness. "But I don't regret last night."

Jane kept his gaze on hers while he buttoned the cuffs of his shirt. "Neither do I."

Her whole body filled with warmth at his words and she smiled again. "We can talk about it later," she reminded him.

"Yes," Jane agreed, "later. Now we go to a crime scene and try to forget about this. Good luck with that."

"You too," she said, still smiling as she left the attic.

She regretted a lot of things in the last twenty-four hours…this was most definitely not one of them.

* * *

Lisbon finished signing the paperwork then dropped the pen on the desk before leaning back against her chair. Their current case was that of a son of a political figured who was killed in a nearby field. While Jane had told her was the ex-girlfriend she just couldn't arrest her without proof and now they were forced to wait for autopsy because an accident had taken priority. She had actual hoped that there would be more paperwork for her to finish so she could avoid Jane for a little longer. They had agreed to talk later about what had happened between them but she wasn't sure she how the conversation would go. She knew he would ask again why she decided to make a move but she couldn't tell him the truth.

Getting to her feet she grabbed her stuff and got ready to head home but looking into the bullpen she noticed that Jane wasn't asleep on his couch. As she made her way to the elevators she debated if she should go up to the attic to talk to Jane about last night or just go home and deal with it tomorrow. Feeling exhausted not just from the case but from the night before she pressed the elevator button and made a mental note to call Jane when she got home apologizing for not stay around. She made her way out of the CBI and to her car when she noticed that Jane's car was still in its parking space, which meant he was in his attic.

"Leaving already?" Jane voiced startled Lisbon as she came around to the driver's side of her car.

"I thought you were in your attic." Lisbon ignored his question and unlocked her car.

"I was waiting for you." Jane took a step closer to her so they were within inches of each other. She looked up at him for a few seconds before looking away. She didn't trust herself not to kiss the man standing in front of her.

"I know we need to talk." Lisbon admitted as she pushed past him and opened the car door.

"Yes, we do." He agreed then walked away from her leaving Lisbon wondering what he was doing but she saw him appear shortly on the passenger side of the car, he opened the door and got in. Lisbon let out a breath she didn't realize she was holding before getting into the drivers seat then shut the door.

"Jane, about last night." Lisbon began but Jane waved her off.

"Not here." Jane informed her as he waited for her to start the car.

"But your car is here." Lisbon pointed out, realizing the moment she said it that it wouldn't surprise anyone that his car was parked in the parking lot overnight.

"People won't say anything. Let's go to your place." Jane suggested then leaned back and closed his eyes. Lisbon shook her head and started the car before pulling out of the parking lot.

"I wasn't avoiding you tonight." Lisbon explained as she drove home.

"I know." Jane said with a hint of smugness that made Lisbon want to punch him. She glanced over at him and noticed that his eyes were closed as she drove. He seemed nice and relaxed while she felt more out of sorts then ever before but then again she was holding something back from him and she knew that for once he wasn't picking up on her lie.

"Jane?" Lisbon asked, as she got closer to her place.

Jane held up a hand to stop her from continuing. "We will talk when we get there."

"Fine." Lisbon huffed and tightened her grip on the steering wheel.

Lisbon pulled into her parking spot and killed the engine. She got out in a hurry knowing that Jane would be following her. And she was correct when she started to unlock her apartment door she felt Jane presence behind her waiting for her to open the door. She opened the door and went inside, turning on the light just as he was closing the door.

"Do you want some tea?" Lisbon asked him as she made her way to the kitchen. She got a few inches away when she felt him grab her arm and pull her back to him quickly. He turned her around so she was facing him before he leaned down and kissed her passionately. He pushed her up against the front door as his hands started to unbutton her blouse. Hers, meanwhile, were running through his soft blond curls. Lisbon broke the kiss for air and tried to talk but Jane's lips found her neck and started leaving small kisses there and she her higher brain function disappeared.

"We need to talk." Jane said suddenly as he removed his lips from her neck and backed away from her. Lisbon stood there stunned that he had just broken up what he started. She silently cursed him as she grabbed his hand and led him over to the couch.

"Sit." She ordered before taking a seat on the couch. He nodded and then sat down awfully close to her, making her doubt that they would be able to get though this conversation without jumping each other.

"Why?" Jane asked as suddenly.

"What?" Lisbon had been focused on her thoughts that she hadn't even heard him.

"Why did you choose now and don't tell me the same reason you gave me in the attic because I know you were lying." He told her as he looked at her.

"I told you the truth." Lisbon answered hoping that he would see that she was telling the truth…partly.

"So you just figured it was time?"

"We have been doing this stupid dance between each other for a while and you know it has gotten worse since you returned from Vegas." Lisbon told him as she got to her feet in hopes of putting some distance between them. "And you were never going to make a move."

"You know exactly why."

"Yes, Red John."

"And you know that as long as he is alive that I cannot devote myself to anyone." Jane pointed out.

"I know that but is it worth giving up all happiness until you find him?" Lisbon asked but Jane didn't say anything so she continued. "So I decided that I would give you the happiness that you deserve and make a move."

Jane got to his feet and walked over to her. "You know that I don't regret it for a second."

"Neither do I, but what happens now is in your hands." Lisbon told him as she placed her hand in his. "So what do you want?"

"You." Jane said simply as he pulled her closer than kissed her again.

"Feel like finishing what you started?" Lisbon asked suggestively after Jane broke the kiss again.

"You tell me?" He smiled and leaned back down to kiss her but she put a hand on his chest to stop him. "What?"

"Follow me." Lisbon grabbed his hand and led him up the stairs to her bedroom. When they arrived at the door she turned to look at him. "It will be more comfortable than your make-shift bed."

"There is nothing wrong with my bed." Jane pointed out as he watched Lisbon hands go to work on his vest.

"Jane?" Lisbon asked.

"Yes, my dear."

"Shut up." She grabbed the lapels of his suit jacket and pulled him into the bedroom.

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"We should order something to eat." Lisbon said as she lay in Jane's arm after their lovemaking session.

"Or I could just cook something for us." Jane offered as he started to leave kisses on her neck.

"I have nothing in the fridge." She replied as she turned in his arms and captured his lips in a kiss.

"Then what do you suggested we order?" He said between kisses.

"I'm not hungry for food anymore." She pushed him on his back and moved on top of him allowing the sheets that had been covering her to drop to her hips, reveling her breasts to him.

"Now that you mention it, I'm not that hungry either." His hand came up to her right breast and gave it a slight squeeze registering a moan from her as she lifted her hips and reach between them in order to guide him into her. They both gasped at the feeling of being connected again until Jane in one swift movement leaned forward and then pushed her on her back.

"I want to be in control." He growled as he started to thrust.

"Yes, sir." Lisbon moaned before grabbing his head with her hands and pulling him into a kiss. Those words were the last between them for the rest of the night.

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Lisbon was woken by the sound of the alarm. Turning it off she turned to look at the man she had spent last night with but he wasn't in the bed and his spot was cold. Getting to her feet she noticed a note on the dresser and walked over to read it.

_"Needed a change of clothes will see you at the office. P.S. You owe me a shirt"_

A soft smile played on her lips at the note and at the memory of his ripped his shirt somewhere along the fourth or fifth round of lovemaking. Shaking her head she went into the bathroom and got ready for work.

In twenty minutes she was at the CBI, with none the wiser as to her late night activities. Just as she got out of the elevator Jane was standing there with a cup of coffee in his hands waiting for her.

"For you." He said as he handed her the cup.

"Thank you." She blushed as their fingers touched and stayed there for a few seconds longer.

"Cho is bringing a suspect in to be questioned." He informed her as the two of them headed to her office.

"Help him when he gets back." Lisbon replied as she dropped her stuff on her desk.

"Will do."

"Oh, and Jane."

"Yes."

She walked over to him and lifted herself on to her toes so she could whisper into his ear. "I didn't rip your shirt."

"Yes, you did." He replied with a smile as he wrapped an arm around her waist.

"No, you ripped it when you were in desperate need to get it off of me." She whispered again then moved away from him leaving him speechless. She sat down on her desk chair just as Jane walked over to her and bent down to whisper into her ear.

"Next time listen to me and don't wear any clothes."

He then straightened up and walked out of her office. Lisbon grabbed a pen and threw it towards the door but he was long gone. The smile that had been on her lips faded as her thoughts went back to the reason that her and Jane were now together. She pulled out her phone and texted him to have dinner with her tonight and then started on her paperwork. She was going to savor every moment she had being with Jane that was a promise she was making to herself.

* * *

_One Month Later_

Jane woke up in Lisbon's bed, a very common occurrence over the last few weeks. But he was surprised to find Lisbon's side of the bed completely empty. The sheets now cool since their owner was gone. At first he assumed she'd gone down stairs but he didn't hear any sounds of Lisbon getting ready for her day.

It was no matter. It was a little late, no doubt she'd decided to head to the office early and let him catch up on sleep. It would not be the first time she had done that sort of thing. Jane quickly dressed and hurried over to the CBI, actually eager to see her face again.

But a quick glance in the parking lot proved she was not there. Even more disconcerting…her office was empty.

"Where's Lisbon?" He asked, Cho and Rigsby were already there too. Grace was obviously running a little late.

Rigsby shrugged. "She's not in yet I guess."

That was when Jane got a very bad feeling. Sure, maybe she was in a meeting with Bertram or with a judge or something like that…but he couldn't shake the idea that something was very, very wrong.

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Two hours later, Jane was certain that his initial instincts were right. Lisbon was never late, certainly not two hours later. The rest of the team agreed, especially when any time they tried to call her cell phone they all got the same voice mail message. Her phone was off or she wasn't answering…or wasn't able to.

Cho put a search out for her car but by the end of the day there was no sign of her. Brenda Shettrick was quick to pull the media in, plastering Lisbon's face on the news. Bertram was going to call a press conference if she wasn't found by the morning.

Jane watched it all with a sickening feeling tearing his stomach to shreds, he had a terrible idea. But no…no this was not Red John's style. Where was the sign? Where was his trademark symbol to let him know what he had?

Besides…wouldn't he have just killed her?

"Go home, Jane."

He looked up at Cho from his couch, blinking at him in surprise. "What?"

"You should go home," Cho repeated.

"I'm waiting for Lisbon."

"Every cop in the state is looking for her…none of us are doing any good just sitting here."

"And you think being at home will help?"

Cho just stared at him. "It's two in the morning." Jane couldn't hide his surprise, how long had he been sitting there watching his worst nightmare come to life? "We all need to get some sleep so we can get back to the search tomorrow."

"Oh yes, sleep. That'll come easily."

"Just go home."

He thought about protesting some more but Cho wasn't going to budge so easily. More than that he wasn't entirely wrong. There really was nothing he could do at the moment. He could go to his attic and think but the CBI was bustling with people searching or the missing agent…and right now he needed peace.

So Jane made it back to his motel room in brooding silence. He didn't really want to be here but he didn't have anywhere else to go. Lisbon's place was now being watched by SACPD, it would be interesting to see if they had put together that the few men's stuff in her apartment actually belonged to him.

He opened the door to his room, all he saw was darkness. Jane flicked on the light, feeling that emptiness he hadn't felt in weeks. Not since Lisbon had forced her way into his life completely. He hated emptiness now.

Jane was so focused on his thoughts that it took a moment for him to see that something was on his bed. Two things actually.

He walked over to see what they were and felt his heart skip a beat and then speed up exponentially.

One of them was Lisbon's badge.

The other was a blank card, completely white except for the small red smiley face…drawn in blood.

And just like that, his nightmares became reality.

* * *

A/N: Well what did you think? The set up is pretty big and this story is going to be a VERY interesting ride, just try to figure out what Red John has planned for Lisbon and Jane hehehe.

Next chapter: Jane has to overcome his depression after Lisbon is still missing...until Red John leaves him some clues that may lead him to the woman he loves.


	2. A Shot in the Dark

Disclaimer: We own nothing

A/N Nerwen Aldarion: hehehe people seem to like the evilness of this story. Just wait though, it only gets worse from here. You've only seen the tip of the iceberg of crazy we have in store for you guys! LOL I promise The Best Mistake WILL be updated SOON. But people have been begging me to post this chapter and it just fell into place quickly. I'll get back to work on TBM as soon as this is posted.

A/N Steele Simz: First and foremost I want to thank everyone who left a review. It means a lot to me. Second I want to say a big thanks to Jenn and Eva who make writing this story all the more enjoyable. Finally enjoy the new chapter and tell us what you think.

**Anonymous Reviews**:

**Anonymous**: Thanks!

**Malin**: The attic scene was a lot of fun to write, a bit disconcerting to write such a smutty scene so early but people wanted monkey sex so we gave it to them LOL. You'll find out what Lisbon traded with RJ, but it'll have to wait a bit.

**InesFernando**: Awww thanks so much, we're glad you enjoyed it!

**Anonymous**: Good, now you can keep reading hehehe

**Vice-Loser**: Hehehe so glad you liked it. Yes it is intense and not necessarily for young eyes but hey, it's been fun

**Anonymous**: I (Nerwen) have been working on my other stories but people keep begging me to write this one LOL. We are both glad you enjoy this one too though.

* * *

Chapter 2: A Shot in the Dark

_Eleven Months Later_

"Did he spend all night in his attic?" Van Pelt asked Cho as she they watch Jane make tea in the kitchen. His hair was a mess he hadn't shaved in a while. His clothes were a mess and he had left his vest in the attic and shirt was not tucked in. He looked worse than when he had come back from Vegas.

"When doesn't he spend his time up there?" Rigsby added.

"He needs help," Van Pelt told Cho as the three of them headed back to their desks.

"When he wants help he'll ask. We are doing everything in our power to find her," Cho said as he sat down and pulled out a book. They were between cases at the moment, which allowed them time to catch up on some personal things.

"But what if we don't?" Rigsby asked, the question that was plaguing them all but none wanted to consider

"Wayne!" Van Pelt hissed.

"Grace, she has been missing for eleven months." He reminded her of the harsh truth.

"Both of you stop," Cho ordered but didn't look up from his book.

"Agents," Bertram voiced interrupted the moment, they were all surprised to see their boss entering the bullpen.

"Sir," Cho put his book down and got to his feet.

"I'm here to inform you and your team that I'm giving Lisbon's case to the SFPD Missing Person's Unit," he informed them.

For a moment there was only stunned silence. Then they all spoke at once.

"What?" Van Pelt protested.

"You can't do that!"

"Sir, it's our case."

Bertram held up a hand to silence the hubbub "You have done everything you possibly can but it is a cold case now, time for some fresh eyes."

"You can't be serious." Rigsby said shocked.

"Agent, I know she is important to you but it is time to move one. Lisbon is gone," Bertram said simply.

"She isn't gone," Jane growled from behind him.

They all turned to look at the man; he was standing in the doorway still looking like a depraved mess. He also looked firm…and pissed.

"Mr. Jane, I'm surprised to see you here," Bertram said sarcastically.

"You can't give up the case," Jane ordered and walked up to Bertram so they were eye to eye.

"It is my decision."

"You are making a mistake."  
"Mr. Jane, this will be best for you and the team," Bertram laid a hand on Jane shoulder, "It's time to move on."

"Go to hell," Jane shrugged Bertram's hand off his shoulder.

"You are talking to your boss," Bertram reminded him, now he was more than a little annoyed.

"Really?" Jane asked doubtfully.

"Yes."

"Then forgive me." Jane replied smoothly, "What I meant to say was go to hell you spineless bastard."

"Jane!" Cho warned and stepped between the two of them. "Get out of here."

But Jane didn't seem to think he'd done anything wrong. "No."

"Jane!"

"Don't make me call security," Bertram informed him. Jane clinched his fist before turning around and walking away from the team. Apparently he wasn't willing to cross that line yet, he didn't want to be kicked off the CBI…and lose the case.

"He is having a hard time, sir," Van Pelt told Bertram after Jane was out of earshot. She was stating the obvious…and trying to explain their friend's erratic behavior.

"You three seem to defend him a lot," Bertram said, he was still staring at the spot where Jane had been standing.

"He is part of this team." Cho said stoically.

"For the time being he is. However, if he steps out of line again, then I don't care if he closes cases he will be fired from here."

"This is all that he has," Van Pelt stated, her voice soft with her plea.

"Then get your consultant in line, agents," Bertram ordered and walked towards the hallway.

"What about the case?" Cho asked quickly before Bertram could leave entirely

"I'm giving it to SFPD." Bertram told him firmly, "If any new leads are found then I will have them inform you." Well at least that was something.

Now he left them along once more to worry about their consultant. And ruminate on their failures.

"Why give up the case?" Rigsby asked a few seconds later.

"Because we have no leads," Cho answered easily.

"But we know Red John took her," he pointed out.

"It isn't enough for us to keep the case open," Cho sat back down and started to read his book again as if it could hold the answers they were seeking

"We can't leave it like that Cho," Rigsby stated unhappy.

"We don't have a choice."

"Doesn't mean we have to like it."

Cho shook his head. "No, it doesn't."

* * *

Jane placed his teacup on the desk with a sigh, the tea had turned cold and he hadn't even had a sip of it. He kept thinking about Lisbon and more importantly how he was going to find her before it was too late. He looked out towards the skyline and closed his eyes briefly before he heard the door of the attic being slid open. Turning his head slightly he opened his mouth to address Cho but he stopped short of speaking when he saw Lisbon standing next to the door.

"Teresa." He whispered and started to walk over to her. "Where have you been?"

"It isn't important, what is important is I'm here now and I have something I need to tell you." She responded as she took a step closer to him.

"What is it?" He asked concerned when she was within inches of him. He noticed the tired look in her eyes but there was something else there that he couldn't tell what it was exactly.

"I'm quitting." She answered him without a single emotion crossing her face.

"What happened with Red John?" Jane pushed as he raised his hand to cup her face but she backed away from him.

"Everything."

Jane was confused as she crossed her arms against her chest. "I'm not following you."

"He was right about you and his crusade is now mine." She told him.

"Funny." Jane laughed at the absurdity of it all but she looked him straight in the eye and he felt the world around him crumble. "Teresa..."

"You won't be able to change my mind."

"He is using you." Jane growled and he closed the distance between them.

"I'm going willingly." She corrected him as she maintained eye contact. He kept searching her eyes for answers but only blankness stared back.

Jane gave her hard look, there had to be someway to get through to her. "He is doing this to you in order to get to me."

"Not everything is about you, Jane." She uncrossed her arms and placed one behind her back.

"You need to tell me what happened after he took you." Jane demanded but it came out more of a plea.

"He made me see the light." Lisbon smiled at the memory that had formed in her head. "And now you will be able to see it too."

Jane was confused once again, she was talking nonsense."What light?"

"The one at the end of the tunnel." She explained before pull the gun out from the back of her pants and turning it on him. Jane lifted his hands slightly and backed away from her.

"You will now find peace." Lisbon told him as she pulled the trigger. Jane watched in slow motion as the bullet left the gun and flew toward his chest. He closed his eyes just as he felt the bullet tear through his flesh. He fell to his knees and watched in pain as Lisbon turned around leaving him bleeding on the ground.

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"No!" Jane snapped awake and sat up taking in his surroundings. His heart was racing and he was drenched in his own sweat but he was alive. He quickly unbuttoned his shirt and look down at his stomach to notice that there was no wound.

"It was a dream." Jane whispered to himself as he laid back against his make-shift bed.

He tried to even his breathing but the dream was still fresh in his mind. It took a little bit longer before his breathing returned to normal. He sat up and swung his legs across the bed and placed them on the floor. Getting to his feet he walked over to the desk and picked up his cell in order to check the time. The time on the phone was 1:13 in the morning, which meant the team, wasn't going to be in for another few hours and since there was no current case he had some time on his hands. But he knew he wasn't going to be able to get back to sleep. Grabbing his jacket and keys he headed out of the attic and towards his car. He needed to get out of the CBI.

Twenty minutes later Jane pulled in one of the guest parking spaces and turned off the car. He headed up the familiar path that led to the door that he was looking for. He shuffled through his keys before coming upon the one he needed and unlocked the door. Turning on the side table lamp he headed over to the couch in the main living room and sat down. The place was mostly the same since the last time he had been here with her which was surprising since Bertram had not only had a CBI team looking through everything in Lisbon's apartment but also the FBI had come in and done their own investigation. Thankfully there had been no evidence that Jane had been staying at her place for the most part and it seemed that she had cleaned everything before she had disappeared. He leaned back and closed his eyes as he thought to the times in which the two of them would just sit on the couch cuddling, one in particular was right after an easy case.

_"It was almost a perfect case." Lisbon told him as she set down her wine glass and sat closer to Jane. He smiled and wrapped an arm around her in order to pull her closer. _

_ "Almost perfect?" He asked as she settled her back against his chest. _

_ "Well, you behaved yourself for once which was nice, I just wish that you hadn't annoyed the judge at the end." Lisbon said as she laced her hand with his. _

_ "It got us the warrant." He told her as he kissed the top of her head. _

_ "Beside the point." _

_ He smiled against her hair. "What is your point, my dear?"_

_ She gave him her mock glare."Stop annoying judges." _

_ "But then what would I do for fun?" He asked innocently._

_ "Oh, I have a few ideas." Lisbon shifted in his arms. _

_ "And would I like these ideas?" Jane smirked as he turned her around so that she was now straddling his hips. _

_ "I'm betting on it." She smiled as she started to kiss him while his hands went to work on the buttons on her blouse. _

Their month together had been one of the happiest times of his life and even though he still made finding Red John a priority he'd found himself thinking less and less of him during his time with Lisbon. For the first time he'd felt alive and had hope for the future but now that future seemed distant and grim.

"Jane?"

His eyes snapped open and he looked to the door to see Van Pelt standing in the doorway shocked. She was wearing some workout clothes and her hair was all tangled. To be honest it looked like she had been asleep not too long ago.

"What are you doing here?" He asked as he got to his feet.

"I got a call from the landlord saying that someone was in the apartment." Van Pelt explained as she closed the door behind her and walked over to him. "Why are you here?"

"Couldn't sleep." Jane shrugged his shoulders.

"So you came here?"

"I needed somewhere to think." He told her truthfully.

"Jane do you want to talk?" Van Pelt offered.

"No."

"It might help."

"Who would I even talk to? You?" Jane snapped and dropped his head so he wasn't looking at her.

"Me, Cho, Rigsby or you can contact your old psychiatrist of yours." Van Pelt didn't sound like she was shocked that Jane had snapped at her.

"Dr. Miller?" Jane asked shocked.

"Yes, she help you once so maybe she is willing to do it again."

Jane shook his head softly. "No."

"Jane."

"Grace, I know you are just trying to look out for me but I don't need help. I need to find _him._" Jane was now getting more pissed than he knew he should be.

"And what if you don't?"

"Don't ever say that!" Jane actually yelled.

"Jane, you can't see the future." Van Pelt remained calm as she talked to him.

He smiled now, a bitter smile. "That is right because if I had I would have never slept with Lisbon or better yet I wouldn't have allowed him to kill my wife and-" Jane stopped talking when it dawn on him what he had just said.

"About time you admitted it." Van Pelt had a smile playing on her lips as Jane sat down heavily back on the couch.

He didn't look at her, not sure if he was embarrassed that he'd confessed or that he hadn't figured out that they already knew. "How long?"

"What?" Van Pelt asked.

"How long have you known about us?"

"For a while, but Cho figured it out first." Van Pelt answered him as she walked over to the couch and sat down next to him.

Jane's lips softened a little. "Cho always knows."

"Yes, he does." Van Pelt smiled and laid a comforting hand on his shoulder. "We will find her."

"No, we will only find her when he is ready for us to." Jane told her and shook off her hand as he got to his feet.

"Where are you going?" Van Pelt asked as she watch him head to the door.

"Not sure, I just need space." He told her as he opened the door and walked out into the cold night.

* * *

The attic was quiet in the very early hours of the morning, it was dark and the moon was still quite high. Jane was staring at the moon while he took healthy swallows of the tequila he had in his hand. He'd taken it from Lisbon's office months ago, right after she'd gone missing; he'd known she kept it in the bottom drawer of her desk. A shot every now and then when going got tough for her, hailing back to her old tradition with Bosco.

He ran his thumb over the label as he thought about the previous owner. He missed her, he missed everything about her. If he turned a little to the left he'd see the wall they christened the first night they'd made love. To the right was the bed they'd slept on afterwards; he'd held her in his arms all night. She should be here.

But she wasn't. Red John had her…and he'd probably never see her again.

The ringing of his phone disturbed his melancholy thoughts, it was Cho. Jane fumbled for a minute before finally hitting the call button. "Thish ish Jane," He couldn't help the slur.

"We need you at a scene…are you drunk?"

"Nope," Jane replied, taking another sip of the tequila.

Cho was quiet for a minute as if unsure whether or not to believe him. "Look, if I give you the address will you actually show up."

"Of course!" Jane said, as if insulted. Actually he'd been very remiss on his CBI duties of late.

"Really?" Cho asked, not believing him for a second.

"I swear on the life of my mother."

"Your mother is dead."

"Doesn't matter, you get the gisht."

Cho was quiet again. "Fine, I'll give you the address, don't crash your car on the way there."

Jane listened to the address; even not completely sober his mind was still sharper than most men on earth. But there was a problem; despite his swearing otherwise he most certainly was drunk. He probably could drive to the crime scene unscathed but not without attracting some undo attention by cops along the way.

But there was another way.

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Lisbon's team had thought they'd seen it all, but then a yellow taxicab pulled up at the crime scene. For a second all they did was gape at the car and then Patrick Jane all but fell out of the back seat. Then it wasn't quite as surprising.

Jane stumbled up to them while Cho glared at him. "You called a cab?"

He just smiled back, his eyes bloodshot and face haggard. "Well, it seemed like a good idea at the time."

"At the time"

"Yeah, the cabbie wasn't too impressed with me giving him driving lessons." Jane explained with a shrug. He turned his attention to the roped off section of yellow tape. "So who is the corpse?"

Grace gasped at him in outrage. "Jane!"

"What?"

"Have some respect," she exclaimed.

But Jane wasn't really caring about anything right now. "Well, if they had any respect they would have waited to be killed."

"Are you drunk?" Rigsby asked, still eyeing him with shock.

"No...just a little...maybe," Jane laughed as he moved to walk away from the group. Before he could leave Cho grabbed his arm to stop him

"Jane, you need to go home." Cho informed him, making it clear that it wasn't really a request.

"Why?" Jane asked as if he really were confused.

"Because you are not okay, Jane." Grace told him with care, she was the one who was watching out for him now that Lisbon was gone.

But he didn't want her help. "I'm right as rain." He said, wrestling his arm out of Cho grip before heading over to see the sheriff

"He wouldn't dare…" Rigsby said gaping at him. The three of them shared a look and took off after Jane. For a man that was drunk he managed to move pretty fast

"So what do we got?" Jane asked the sheriff as he bent down to look at the body. Looked like a business shot in the back…or was that a stab wound? It was so blurry he couldn't really tell.

"Who are you?" The sheriff asked, staring at him in shock.

"Patrick Jane, but that isn't important. What is important is this victim." Jane got to his feet and while laughing. The sheriff was not amused to say the least

The sheriff stared at him for a long moment. "Are you drunk?" he asked.

"Are you?" Jane countered and moved to take whiff of the sheriff's breath. "Nope, sober as a judge…which is pretty silly since most judges aren't." Jane started laughing again.

"Jane, let me take you home." Grace offered, still playing the mother hen.

"Nope." Shaking his head. "We have a crime to solve and solve it we will." He enunciated the last bit by shaking his finger towards the sky.

None of the others were amused by that pronouncement. "You are in no condition to work a scene," Cho pointed out.

"I'm in perfect condition...more ways than one now that I come to think of it." He laughed lightly again.

The Sheriff was gaping at him then turned his attention to the agents at the team. "You allowed a drunk man at the crime scene?" The sheriff accused Cho.

Cho stepped forward in an attempt to diffuse the situation. "Sir, we will deal with this."

"I will be calling your bosses." He declared, not satisfied with Cho's words.

"What good will that do?" Jane asked as he came close to the sheriff. "You called us because you are incapable of doing your job." Jane laughed again.

The Sheriff's face turned beat red with anger. "You asshole."

"Asshole, now that is a funny word isn't it." Jane smirked and looked over at Cho quickly before turning back to the sheriff just in time to see him swing his fist into Jane's face. Jane went down to the ground instantly.

It was chaos for a second while Rigsby rushed over to the pull the Sheriff away from Jane and the other officers moved to collect Jane. Apparently they took offense to Jane showing up drunk and insulting their sheriff…but their sheriff had just assaulted someone.

All they could agree on was that Jane needed to sober up.

"Jane, we will get you out soon." Grace told him as she helped him to his feet.

"Jail?" He waved that off as if it was now big deal. "I love being there, so many new and interesting people to meet."

"My men will arrest him." The deputy told Cho and motion his people to arrest Jane. "We'll hold him till he sobers up…we'll do the same with Hicks." Oh so that was the Sheriff's name.

The three of them watched as the men took Jane away. Jane was still quite happy with himself. But they weren't…they knew where it was all coming from.

"Cho, he needs help." Rigsby told him softly. "He is spiraling out of control ever since Lisbon went missing."

"What can we do?" Grace wondered.

"Nothing for now." Cho replied, " I'll handles this

"What are _you_ going to do, Cho?" Rigsby asked.

Cho ignored the question. "Work the crime scene, I need to make a call."

"To who?"

"The only other person Jane might listen to"

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Jane had actually been in quite a few county jails including Sacramento's. But this was the first time he had ever been in the drunk tank before. He usually had a good control over his body and with his sharp mind he could function very well even with alcohol. But he hadn't been in control for months and he'd been drinking all night when they'd gotten the early morning call.

Drinking that much scotch had been a bad idea. Insulting the leading officer and drawing attention to his inebriated state was worse. It was really no surprise that he'd been brought here to sober up, even as the officer glared daggers at him from the next cell.

It was a few hours before another officer came and finally let Jane out of his cell. He wasn't surprised to see Cho waiting for him. "The charges were dropped," he stated, his arms crossed and his eyes were unyielding.

Jane just shrugged. "_I_ didn't hit anyone."

"You showed up at a crime scene drunk off your ass."

But Jane just waved it off. "Meh."

Cho grabbed his arm before he could walk away. "Jane, this is not a joke."

He gave him a light laugh. "Well it seems kind of funny to me." Jane moved around him so he could finally leave this place.

"You wouldn't be pulling this crap if Lisbon was here."

Jane paused in his steps, his body going cold with those words. He turned around and stalked back to Cho. "She's not." Cho didn't react at all, just remained still and stared right back. "She's not here because he has her. He has her and I don't know where the hell she is, if she's dead or alive or what he's done to her. I don't know."

He looked away now and gritted his teeth. "He took her. He took her because of me."

"Because you were sleeping with her."

Jane smiled now actually. "Grace told me you knew."

Cho didn't seem to care about that statement. "It wasn't your fault."

"Oh now that's not true."

The other man raised an eyebrow. "If it were…does this help? Is drinking all night going to help you find her."

Jane shook his head. "You don't understand."

"Then tell me."

He was quiet for a very long time before finally meeting Cho's eyes. "When I find her…she'll probably be dead. And if she isn't…it won't be her. Red John will not let me find Lisbon, he'll have done something to destroy her and there is no guarantee that I'll ever get her back."

But Cho didn't look upset by those words. Instead he looked even more determined. "You're right…you won't. Not if you don't try."

Cho gave him one last hard look before walking away. Jane watched him go feeling sorry for himself…and ashamed.

The man was right…but it didn't make it hurt any less.

* * *

Jane was sitting on a park bench in the small park where he knew Lisbon used to run on the weekends. He had been coming here for the past week after Cho had called him out on his drinking. He'd needed space to think and the fresh air seem to help clear his head a little.

"Jane?"

Jane lifted his head and looked up at the person who had just spoken his name. "Virgil."

He was sure if he was surprised or not to see the former Special Agent. He'd known that Cho would call someone to help; he'd honestly been expecting Sophie.

"May I?" He gestured to the spot that was unoccupied next to Jane. Jane just shrugged his shoulders then dropped his head to look at the ground. "Cho, called me."

"Of course."

Virgil was giving him a serious look. "He thinks you need help."

"Well, he is wrong." Only one person could help him…but she wasn't here.

"Is he?"

"Yes." Jane hissed and kicked a small rock that had been next to his foot.

"You blame yourself." Minelli acknowledged.

That was obvious but Jane chose not to be sarcastic here. "Yes, because of me she is missing."

"You don't know that."

"Like hell I do." Jane lifted his head and looked over at Minelli. "I should have stopped her the moment she kissed me then none of this would have happened." What was the point in hiding their relationship anymore?

"Jane..."

But he cut him off; he didn't want to hear it. "Don't"

Minelli looked at him a little annoyed now, like he'd used to do on a daily basis. "You know I always knew you were a self-pitying man."

"Meh." Jane looked away from him.

"So you are just going to allow him to get away with this?"

"I have no clue where she is or hasn't Cho told you that?" Jane snapped.

"Then find her."

As if it were that simple. "I-"

Virgil cut him off. "What?"

Jane was still struggling for words. It was hard to admit that he honestly was completely lost at the moment. "I don't-"

"You don't, what?" Minelli was pushing him.

"I don't know how!" Jane yelled and got to his feet. "I don't know how to contact him or where in the damn hell he took her. I don't know if she is alive or dead and I don't know how I'm supposed to go on without her." Jane breath was ragged as he sat back down.

"Patrick." Minelli placed a hand on his shoulder. "You are letting your emotions stop you from seeing the clear picture."

"What?"

"You once told Lisbon that she needed to see the picture clearly when Bosco was shot."

Jane waved him off. "But that was different."

"How?"

"He was in love with her." Well…so was he but it wasn't the same thing.

"Of course he was but she wasn't in love with him anymore." Minelli removed his hand and got to his feet. "She was in love with you before then."

"So what do I do?" Jane asked as if he was a young child asking his father for help.

"Play against him."

"And if that doesn't work?"

"It will."

There was one horror they hadn't spoken of. "What if she is dead?"

"You won't know that until you find him but Teresa is tough so I'm damn sure she is still alive. Hell, she put up with you all these years, if she can survive that then she can survive anything."

A slight smile played on Jane lips, he got to his feet. Virgil was right. Lisbon was alive, he'd have found her body by now if she wasn't. This was another game entirely…and Jane knew he was going to find some way to solve it and save her. "Thank you."

"Don't show up at crime scenes drunk anymore."

Jane nodded. "Will do."

"And if you need any help then call me, that is an order."

"Yes, Virgil."

Minelli began to walk away but turned around and looked at Jane. "When you find the bastard do me one favor."

"What?"

"Kill him."

Jane smiled again now. "That is and always been the plan." Jane told him before turning around and head away from his bench.

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Jane walked back into the CBI to several people wondering what he was doing there and if he was drunk. He made his way into the bullpen and was about to walk over and knock on Lisbon's office that Cho was currently using, when Van Pelt noticed him.

"Jane."

"Hey Grace, you are looking lovely today." Perhaps it was overkill but he was trying to prove he wasn't drowning in self-pity at the moment.

"You shaved." She noticed, she was a little stunned which might explain the inane comment.

But Jane just smiled at her. "I also got my other suit from the cleaners."

"Good…" She looked at him a little suspiciously, "Are you okay?"

"I will be after I talk to Cho."

"What is it?" Cho asked from behind him. When had he snuck up there?

Jane turned around to look at his friend. "I want back on the team."

"Why?"

"You know why."

Cho stood firm, his arms crossed and his shoulders square."I need you to admit it."

"I need to find _him_."

"We are capable of doing that."

"I'm not finished." Jane hissed then drew a deep breath. "I need to find him because I need her."

Cho studied him for a few moments. "Okay, but if you put one toe out of line-"

"I won't, she means too much to me."

"Then help Grace with a few leads on our new case" Cho order him and then walked away.

"What leads?" Jane asked as he pulled a chair over to Van Pelt's desk.

"Look for yourself." She handed him the file and went back to working on her computer after a few seconds she stopped and looked over to him. "Jane?"

"Yes?"

"Welcome back."

* * *

_The last time Lisbon had ever been this nervous for a date was when she was sixteen years old and Matthew Billings had asked her to go to the movies. That date had ended with him trying to cop a feel and her dumping her large coke on his head and storming out, she had high hopes that her date with Jane would end differently. Still she was careful in her preparations, making sure to pick her best little black dress and playing up her eyes._

_ It was all Jane's idea, the date. He'd wanted to take her out for a real dinner to "woo her like a gentleman." She'd found that slightly ridiculous since Jane was anything but a gentleman, particularly when they came within an arms length of each other. But she wasn't going to deny him anything, not now, not with a ticking clock playing loudly in her head._

_ A knock at her door sent the butterflies in her stomach into overdrive. But she hurried as fast as she could in her heels. When she opened the door she revealed Jane, wearing his normal attire though it looked like he'd spent a little more time with his appearance, particularly his hair. Did he have to look so sexy?_

_ Apparently Jane liked what he saw too, if the widening of his eyes and then the slow grin was any indication. "You look…I'm at a loss for words."_

_ "That's a first," Lisbon remarked wryly but gave him a once over. "You're not looking too bad yourself."_

_ He smiled back at her and pulled her in so he could lay one heady kiss on her that made her head spin. Somehow she dragged him inside of her apartment and he turned her around so she was backed up against the closed door. Now she was messing up his perfectly groomed hair and he was exploring the bare skin her dress revealed._

_ Lisbon gasped as he began to nuzzle her neck. "We're going to be late for dinner aren't we?"_

_ Jane stared a trail of hot wet kisses up her neck to her ear. "Yes," he whispered before tugging one lobe between his teeth._

_ After a few breathless minutes they stumbled over to the couch. Soon enough she was on her back on the sofa, her dress unzipped and Jane had pulled it down enough so he could lavish sensual attention to her breasts. She was in the process of unbuttoning his shirt when a terrible crime happened._

_ Her phone rang._

_ "Don't answer it," Jane told her, his voice muffled by her skin._

_ "I have to," she groaned, "We're on call."_

_ It took two more rings before Lisbon was able to tear herself away from Jane long enough to answer her phone. "Lisbon," her voice was breathless and Cho noticed._

_ "What are you doing?"_

_ Jane was still trying to finish what he'd started and Lisbon was having a hard time to keep from moaning into the phone. "Eh…umm…jogging."_

_ She felt Jane's chuckle against her neck. "At seven o'clock at night?" He whispered in her hear, making her shiver a little._

_ "Right," Cho replied, he didn't seem to buy it either. "We have a case in Crossville."_

_ "Okay," Lisbon said, "give me the address and I'll meet you there."_

_ "Are you going to tell Jane?"_

_ Lisbon wondered briefly about his use of "tell" instead of "call" but dismissed it just as quickly. "Yes, I'll call him."_

_ "All right, boss."_

_ She hung up the phone and turned to look at the sexy tousled Jane still tangled up in her limbs. Jane grinned and leaned down to kiss her possessively again. "We have a case," she reminded him when she pulled back._

_ Jane didn't say anything but began to kiss her throat once more while one hand sneaked under the skirt of her dress._

_ "We really do have a case."_

_ He simply smiled. "And we're going to be late."_

_ "No, Jane we can't…oh God…"_

_ He was right. They were definitely going to be late._

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Jane sat up from where he'd been asleep on Lisbon's couch, the same couch they'd made love on, by his count, four times. She'd been a surprisingly adventurous lover in the comfort of her home. Perhaps it shouldn't have been surprising since she'd seduced him in his attic, then again she'd been rather firm on keeping their sex life at home as well. Though he'd managed to get around that rule a couple of times.

He shook his head, ridding himself of those passionate thoughts. Thinking back on their relationship wasn't going to help him find Lisbon. He stood up and checked the time on his phone, it was a little early but he might as well go back to the CBI now. He'd been sober for three days but he still needed to show that he wasn't going to lose it anymore.

Right now he needed a level head.

Jane gathered his things and left Lisbon's apartment, almost as if it were eleven months ago and he was leaving a few minutes behind her. All in an effort to keep their secret, of course that had been pointless too.

His car was parked a few feet away; he didn't even glance inside as he unlocked the door to pull himself into the driver's seat. He should have.

Jane looked up to see Lisbon's cross dangling from his rearview mirror.

For a few seconds all he did was stare at the small gold chain, looped around the mirror, the cross hanging down a few inches. Then with a hand that was barely controlled, he reached up to tough the cross, rubbing the metal between his thumb and forefinger.

He'd studied this little piece of jewelry thousands of times over the years. It was one of the first things he'd noticed about her when they first met. He noticed whenever she touched it, clutching it for comfort of in prayer. He'd traced it's shape several times over their month long relationship, silently thinking about the saintly woman in his bed and contrasting it with his own sinful ways.

Jane continued to rub the pad of his thumb over the engraved metal. Then he smiled.

Finally.

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"What does it mean?" Rigsby asked. The three other members of the team had rushed in as soon as they got Jane's call, now they were flanking Grace's desk where Lisbon's necklace was resting. There had been a silent agreement to not tell Bertram about this new development, no way were they handing this over to SFPD.

Jane was the calm one, actually he seemed almost happy. "Red John is sending me a message."

"And that is?"

He smiled. "He's ready for me to find her."

Cho raised an eyebrow. "How are you going to do that?"

"I have a few ideas." Jane walked over and picked up the necklace again, keeping it in his hand as he made his way out of the bullpen.

"Are you going to tell me where you're going?" Cho asked as he walked out.

"Nope."

* * *

Ten months earlier Jane had gone to Brett Stiles in a fit of desperation. Brett had known where Kristina Fry was several years ago, and he knew that Red John had a strong connection to Visualize. After Lisbon had been missing for a month with nary a word from Red John, Jane had been scraping the bottom of the barrel for a clue. He wasn't proud that he'd practically begged Brett for help.

But this time things were different. He was confident that Lisbon was going to be found soon, he was equally confident that Brett knew something this time. Lisbon's necklace was still tucked away in his pocket, a silent reminder that the agonizing wait was finally going to be ending.

Brett was waiting in the serenity garden outside of Visualize. Jane barely glanced at his surroundings, just kept his mind focused on the job at hand. Brett stood up as soon as he saw him with that sly smile he had on his face. "Patrick, to what do I own the pleasure?"

Jane sat down on the bench. "I need you to help me find Lisbon."

"You asked me this several months ago…I couldn't help you then."

"You can now."

Brett smiled once more, leaning back to study Jane. "I'm sure you recalled what I told you before. You shouldn't be asking yourself where she is but why now?"

"Why take her?"

"Why now? Agent Lisbon was a part of your life for a long time, why now? What changed?"

Jane knew the answer to that one but he wasn't about to tell Brett. Though if the smug look in his eyes was any indication, he probably knew the answer as well. "Does it matter?"

"Of course it does. Why Red John took her is imperative to knowing what he is doing to her now. If she is even still alive."

He hated that addendum. "She is alive."

Brett nodded his head. "Perhaps, but we both know it might be preferable if she weren't."

"Don't say that," he hissed.

The other man smiled knowingly, a snake smile that meant he enjoyed holding these cards. "You must face an undeniable truth. If Red John hasn't killed her then he most certainly has done something far worse. Don't tell me you've forgotten about what happened to poor Kristina?"

"No, I haven't." Jane said, he'd thought about what Red John had done to Kristina several times over the months, wondering what horrors Red John might have done to Lisbon. "It is more personal this time."

"Of course it is." Brett smiled smugly, giving Jane an admonishing look. "It was foolish, Patrick. That indulgence is what led to all of this. Are you really surprised Red John took her?"

If there was any doubt that Brett knew about his relationship with Lisbon, it was gone now. At this point though, Jane didn't care. What was done was done. "I'm asking for your help, not a lecture on what I shouldn't have done"

Brett gave him a patient smile. "A man at the end of his rope is a foolish man. He is willing to give up all he knows for the truth no matter what the price is."

Jane remained quiet and studied him for a long moment. "And so I am. Name your price." He pulled out the necklace so Brett could see it too. "Red John is ready for me to find her...and you are going to help me"

He stared at the necklace, the gently swaying cross. "How far are you willing to go for the answer, Patrick?"

"You don't need me to answer that question, Brett. You already know"

Brett met his eyes again. "What makes you think anything has change since the last time you asked me for information on Agent Lisbon?"

"Because you couldn't possibly have resisted looking into it"

"And so I have," Brett agreed, leaning back now. "I'm willing to help you find her but it will cost you of course."

Jane didn't even bat an eye. "Name your price," he stated again.

"A favor...when I require it. Isn't that how our deals normally go about?"

"Done," Jane agreed quickly, "Now tell me what you know."

"Patience, Patrick," Brett told him smoothly, "When I have your information, I will come to you. Until then, I suggest you wait."

It took a lot of restraint to keep Jane from strangling the man. But all he did was remain sitting while Brett stood up and left, hopefully to get whatever information he needed to find Lisbon. Jane sat there with Lisbon's cross dangling limply from his fingers.

He had to find her.

Soon.

* * *

It was a couple of hours after leaving Visualize before Brett made good on his promise. Jane was walking into the bullpen after a long meditation session in his attic when he found Brett standing by Van Pelt's desk, talking to the redhead. Grace was the most susceptible to the lure of the cult, but Jane knew she had more sense than to trust in the man completely. But right now that was the least of Jane's concerns.

"Do you have the information I want Brett?"

Van Pelt looked up confused. "What information?" Van Pelt asked confused, as Jane approached her desk where her and Stiles had been talking

"Patrick enlisted my services in trying to find Agent Lisbon," Brett explained the woman with a cool smile. "And yes, I do believe I have what you want."

Rigsby and Cho walked in to the bullpen too, eyeing Brett with a wary gaze but Jane didn't pay them any mind. They would figure out what was going on soon enough. "What is it?"

"A name"

"Whose?"

"Martha Granger."

That didn't set off any alarm bells in Jane's head, he'd never heard of the woman. But while he couldn't trust Brett for much, he knew the man wasn't playing any games with him at the moment.

Rigsby wasn't quite as certain. "And she is?"

Jane turned his attention to Van Pelt. "Grace, can you look up the name and find out where she lives."

Grace nodded and quickly turned her attention to her computer. Rigsby was still staring at them. "Who is she?"

"The clue I've been searching for," Jane explained cryptically. His heart was racing though, was Lisbon with this woman?

It took several agonizing minutes before Grace looked up from her computer. One look at her face told him that he wasn't going to like what she had to say. "Jane…she's been dead for fifteen years."

"What?" Cho asked, clearly not accepting that answer.

Rigsby was even more vocal about his displeasure. "What kind of help is that?"

Jane turned questioning eyes to Brett who remained calm. "The kind of help you need, Patrick."

Cho raised an eyebrow. "A dead woman?"

"This is crap!" Rigsby exclaimed throwing up his hands.

Grace was the one remaining quiet and Jane watched her out of the corner of her eyes. Suddenly he saw her whole body tense with excitement. "Guys! Martha Granger left her home in her will...to a man named John Russo."

In a flash the three men on Lisbon's team raced over to Grace's desk to look at her computer while Brett stepped back with a satisfied smile. Jane studied the document, which stated firmly that the home of Martha Granger had passed to John Russo.

And there was his signature right there.

Jane smiled at the image. "She's there. That's where he's been keeping her."

The address was only an hour or so outside of Sacramento. Of course Red John would be keeping Lisbon right under their noses.

Cho gave him a look. "You can't know that."

"She is there," Jane repeated. "We need to go, _now._"

"Jane, let us check it out before we head over there. Let us be certain"

But he gave Cho a cold look. "I'm not staying here."

"You can't go in there, Jane."

"Watch me."

Cho gave him a long look before finally nodding his head in resignation. Rigsby and Van Pelt were busy gathering their things. Brett Stiles simply watched the two men with a sly smile.

"Never step in the way of a man who is determine to save the person he loves."

* * *

The house was fairly large and isolated, the nearest neighbors being a couple of acres away. But they all stepped out on their front porches as soon as the slew of police cruisers and SUVs came roaring down the street. Jane studied the house from the window; it was dark and seemingly empty with an overgrown lawn and boarded up windows.

It was Cho who took the lead.

He, Rigsby and Van Pelt pulled on the Kevlar vests and pulled out their weapons. Several officers crowded the exterior of the house but it was Lisbon's team that burst open the door and began to check each room. Jane waited several minutes before following.

Cho checked the first floor but found nothing but empty rooms excepting a few sticks of furniture that were draped with white sheets. "Clear!" he called from his vantage.

The echoing calls of other officers filled the air. He gave the nod for three others to check up stairs but he was beginning to get a bad feeling that maybe they had been wrong. She might not be here after all.

He turned the corner around the stairs and saw the small crooked doorway behind them. Cho met Rigsby and Van Pelt's eyes and motioned for them to wait. The door creaked loudly as he opened it to reveal a musty and dark stairwell leading down into the basement. He took a few careful steps, and noted that there was one lone light in the room.

His heart hammered in his chest as he made his way down the steps and finally looked into the room.

There was a twin bed pressed against one concrete wall. A small area of living space with a concrete floor and a toilet up against the other wall. But none of this mattered to Cho.

It was the woman sitting in the chair in the middle of the room that caught his eye.

"Boss?" Cho asked apprehensively as he slowly approached Lisbon. She was sitting in a chair her hands tied to the arms of it. Cho lowered the gun in his hand and bent a little so they came eye to eye. So far she still hadn't said a word.

Then she lifted her head and met his gaze. "About time you got here." Lisbon voice was dry but she gave him a slight smile.

Relief flooded his system. "Sorry we're late. Let me get you out of here." Cho placed his gun on the ground and started to untie the knots that held her wrists bound to the chair. After a few moments he had both wrists free and he offered her a hand to stand up. "We should have you checked out."

"No, I just need to get out of here." She answered him as she made to stretch her lower back.

Rigsby and Van Pelt came down the stairs that led to the basement with their guns drawn. "Cho?" Rigsby asked apprehensively.  
"I found the boss, everything is okay." Cho told them as he bent down to pick up his gun just as Rigsby and Van Pelt came into view. They smiled and holstered their weapons before making their way over to Lisbon who smiled back at them.

"Thank God." Van Pelt gave Lisbon a surprising hug in which Lisbon awkwardly reciprocated.

"We were worried about you." Rigsby smiled at her.

Lisbon smiled back at Rigsby with genuine happiness. "Trust me I'm fine."

And for a moment…they all believed that.

"Teresa?" Jane said quietly as he noticed her. Lisbon looked away from the team and towards the stairs where Jane was standing.

He hadn't been able to resist coming into the house and he was grateful he'd followed his instincts. Because there she was, standing in the middle of the room with not a scratch on her wearing a simple outfit of old sweatpants and a long sleeved shirt. Was it really this simple? Was she really all right?

Her eyes met his and he gave her a smile before taking a step towards her.

In the blink of an eye Jane saw her expression change from wonder…to rage. She quickly grabbed Cho gun in his hand and fired it at Jane. The bullet grazed his shoulder and Jane dropped to his knees grabbing his arm with his good hand.

"What the hell?" Jane shouted as Rigsby and Cho wrestled the gun out of Lisbon hand. It took a few seconds but finally Cho had his gun in his hand. Letting go of Lisbon to place the gun back in its holster gave Lisbon the chance to go after Jane again who was just getting to his feet. Lisbon's hit forced him back to the ground and he yelled as his arm came into contact with the floor.

"Easy there, boss." Rigsby said as he pulled Lisbon off of Jane. She was fighting him though like a wild cat out for blood…Jane's blood.

"Teresa?" Jane was catching his breath as he got to his feet.

"You bastard." Lisbon hissed as she tried to go after him again but Rigsby kept her from moving. "You son of a bitch! I'm going to kill you!"

"What is going on?" Van Pelt asked as she watched Lisbon struggle to get away from Rigsby.

"I have no clue but we need to get her out of here." Cho told them. "We'll take her upstairs."

"Let me go," Lisbon hissed, still fighting to get out Rigsby and Cho's grip. "Let me finish it!"

"Wait." Jane pleaded as he walked in front of them.

"Jane, it is best that you stay away." Cho told him as he and Rigsby escorted Lisbon upstairs away from Jane.

She was still screaming, shouting out curses he'd never heard her say before…and all were directed at him.

"Why did she attack you?" Van Pelt asked Jane as she checked out his shoulder. "You need to get some medical attention."

"I have no clue." Jane eyes were focused on the top of the stairs.

"Maybe something happened while she was gone." Van Pelt suggested as she gave him a slight push so he would head up the stairs.

"She has been gone for eleven months Grace, anything could have happened." Jane told her as he made his way up the stairs, grimacing in pain.

"You are worried." Van Pelt told him from behind.

"Yes." Jane said as he got to the top of the stairs and made his way out of the house in which Lisbon had being held. He got outside just as Rigsby was helping Lisbon into the backseat of the car.

"We are going to take her to the hospital." Cho told Jane when he spotted him. "You need to see the paramedics."

"Which hospital are you taking her to?"

"Go get checked out, Jane." Cho ordered him.

"No."

"Do it, it's an order. We will call when we know more." Cho told him before making his way to the car.

Van Pelt gave him a reassuring smile. "Everything will be okay," she told him as she directed him towards the paramedics that were waiting outside.

"She isn't herself." Jane told her as one the paramedics looked over his shoulder.

Grace frowned at that. "How do you figure that?"

"She shot me."

"Well, it isn't the first time she has hurt you." Van Pelt pointed out.

"It is different now." Jane growled as the paramedic put pressure on his arm. It was really starting to hurt now.

"How?"

"Because-" Jane stopped talking and looked away.

"What is going on, Jane?" Van Pelt was now more curious to why he stopped talking.

"It's just different." He replied quietly.

"You are going to need stitches." The paramedic told him as he wrapped some gauze around Jane's shoulder.

"I'll be fine." Jane said as he got to his feet. Van Pelt placed an arm on his chest and forced him to sit.

"Take him to the hospital." She told the paramedics as she joined him in the ambulance.

"Grace, I'm fine." Jane smiled at her.

"Lisbon will be furious with you if you don't get medical attention." Van Pelt explained.

"So?"

"Do you really want to piss her off some more?"

It was a good point but Jane wasn't sure if he cared. "I need to know what happened to her, Grace. He did something and I need to know." He gave Grace a cold look, "Because that wasn't Lisbon we found in there…that was someone else."

* * *

A/N: Uh oh! Lisbon has been found but all she wants to do is kill Jane? What is going on? LOL Well you'll have to wait and see! Hehehe, let us know what you think so far.

In the next chapter you'll see Jane figure out what has happened to Lisbon...and try to sort out how to fix it but a new complication changes everything as there is one more ace Red John has up his sleeve.


	3. Clouding of the Mind

Disclaimer: We own nothing

A/N Nerwen Aldarion: So close to finishing Lavinia but this one was closer! LOL so here it is. Everyone seemed to enjoy the wild ride of Lisbon's discovery but what made her that way? And what else does Red John have in store for them. Find out! LOL

A/N Steele Simz: Once again thank you all for the reviews. I'm still working on Red Leaves of Fall and hopefully will have a new chapter up soon. I hope you enjoy this chapter as much as I have enjoyed writing it with Nerwen.

**Anonymous Reviews:**

**Malin: **Awww thanks, this has been fun for both of us to write!

**vice-loser:** So glad you liked it, we wanted to show how depressed Jane has gotten when Lisbon gone and contrast it with the happiness of their short lived relationship.

**Anna:** That's just the first of many twists hehehe so glad you enjoyed it!

**Anonymous:** Erm you shouldn't hate Lisbon. She has been hypnotized, she has no control over what is going on right now. You'll see what happened between Lisbon and Red John. Just have a little faith.

**Anonymous:** Of course, the first of many mind games hehehe

**Anonymous:** Awww thanks so much, this was fun to write. So glad you like it.

* * *

Chapter 3: Clouding of the Mind

Jane's wound might have only been a graze but that didn't stop Grace from dragging him to the hospital. He didn't even need stitches, but he did get to have his arm bandaged up, wincing as they applied antiseptic and cleaned the wound. He didn't want to be here, he needed to see Lisbon and find out what was going on.

"Are you finished yet?"

"Do you want an infection, Mr. Jane?"

"The bullet looked pretty clean to me."

The nurse gave him an annoyed look and continued to clean the wound. She was carefully bandaging up his arm when the curtain was pulled back and Grace and Rigsby appeared. "Where is she?" Jane asked immediately.

"You need to stay here until they are finished with you," Grace told him.

"Where is she?" he repeated, ignoring her request all together.

"She was ranting and raving about you the whole time," Rigsby said, "all she wanted was to find you and finish you off."

"You aren't answering my question."

"We took her here," Rigsby finally explained, "We had a doctor examine her but physically she's fine."

"She shot Jane," Grace reminded him.

"I know and every time Jane was mentioned she went crazy," Rigsby continued, "we don't know what else might set her off."

"_Where_ is_ she_?" Jane asked for the third time.

Rigsby and Grace exchanged glances before he finally said. "Room 306."

Jane sat up, grabbing his jacket before moving off of the bed. "Hey, you can't leave yet!" The nurse exclaimed, "You have to be discharged first."

"Good thing I'm not leaving the hospital then," Jane stated simply. He ignored the nurse entirely and his friends, just headed straight for the elevators.

"Jane you shouldn't go up there!" Grace called after him as they hurried to catch up.

He didn't listen but jumped into the elevator, pressing the button and watched as the doors closed before his friends could catch it. Now he was alone for a few moments as the elevator rose two floors to his destination.

What had happened?

What had he done?

Why was she acting this way?

These were the questions that were plaguing him because he knew that something was very, very wrong. He'd never deluded himself into thinking that if by some twist of fate he managed to find Lisbon alive that she would be as she once was.

But he'd hoped.

The third floor was rather sparse but he followed the numbers, he knew he was close when he saw Cho talking to a doctor in the hallway. The man saw him and immediately came over. "You shouldn't be here."

"I need to see her."

"She doesn't want to see you."

"Yes she does," Jane replied calmly, "she has to see me in order to kill me."

Cho wasn't amused by that statement. "You can't go in there."

"Watch me."

Jane reached for the doorknob and Cho's voice made him stop. "I'll shoot you if I have to."

"I was already shot once today, what's one more?" Jane called his bluff and opened the door to Lisbon's room. She was lying on the bed, her wrists in restraints. For a second she was completely calm, but as soon as she registered that it was him a look of pure rage took over her face. Lisbon pulled on her restraints trying to get free, "You son of a bitch!"

Jane ignored her shouting as best as he could. "Lisbon, what did he do to you?"

"You have ruined every part of my life!"

"We weren't talking about me," Jane stated, as he walked closer to the bed, "We were talking about him."

"Everything that happened, every horrible thing, was because of _you_."

"Okay, that's fine, hate me just tell me what he did to you?"

"Who the hell are you talking about?"

Jane stared at her, studying her reaction. "Red John."

Lisbon scoffed. "Red John didn't hurt me, the only person who has _ever_ hurt me is you."

Jane moved closer to her. "Red John took you, held you captive for almost a year."

"No," Lisbon stated, "no, you are just making things up to excuse your actions. Just like you _always_ do. I'm done with it, I'm done letting you hurt me."

"So you are going to kill me?"

"Yes," she said that word with relish, "to stop you once and for all."

"Why?" He asked, leaning closer to her. "Why do you want to kill me?"

"Because I hate you!"

"Why?"

"I. Hate. You!"

"Why do you hate me?" Jane asked, putting a hand on her arm but she wrenched her body away from him as much as she could. As if his touch disgusted her. "Why do you hate me, Lisbon?"

"I…I just do," she stumbled out, glaring at him the whole time.

And that was when Jane got an idea.

"Cho, hold her down," Jane told the man who was watching from the doorway.

"Why?"

"Just do it."

Lisbon eyed the other man warily and then glared at them both. "Don't touch me. Don't you dare touch me!" But Cho didn't listen to her, even as she twisted and fought him. He managed to push her shoulders down onto the bed.

"What are you doing, Jane?" Cho asked but Jane ignored him

He leaned over to stare deeply into Lisbon's eyes, waving his hand over her face while she stared at him with a mixture of anger and confusion. "Her pupils are dilated," Jane remarked and looked over at the very confused doctor. "Did you give her anything?"

"No," the doctor replied, "I could get a sedative."

Jane ignored him, turning his attention back to Lisbon. He put his hand at her throat. "Get your hand off of me you bastard," she hissed.

"You've been fighting Cho and me for ten minutes," Jane said staring into her eyes, "And your pulse is steady. You feel rage but you can't explain it. Do you know what that means?" Lisbon struggled against Cho, growling a little but her eyes remained fixed on Jane.

He leaned in even closer and told her honestly. "You're hypnotized."

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The team gathered outside of the room after listening to Jane's simple explanation.

"So that's it? Hypnosis?" Rigsby asked.

Jane nodded, "It's that simple."

"So get her out of it."

"I have to know what the trigger is," Jane reminded him, "I wouldn't even know where to begin, especially since we all know Red John would never make it easy."

Grace looked up at him confused. "I thought you couldn't hypnotize someone into doing something they don't want to do."

"That's true."

"But she wants to kill you."

"She didn't kill me," Jane explained.

"She shot you," Cho stated.

He nodded. "Exactly." The three of them all stared at him as if he was insane. "What? Are any of you really that surprised that deep down Lisbon has always wanted to shoot me?"

"I'm surprised it took her this long," Cho replied.

Normally Jane might have smiled at that comment but not now. "He put her in a trance with orders to kill me…but she can't do what she doesn't want to. So she missed, subconsciously she missed on purpose."

"She won't kill you."

"No."

"But she _will_ hurt you."

"Yes, that is certainly something she has wanted to do many times over the years," Jane replied.

"Is that all that she will do?" Graced asked.

Jane shook his head. "I don't know, I have no idea what other suggestions he planted in her mind."

"So she could be a danger to anyone," Cho stated.

"Only to people she would actually hurt," Jane explained.

Cho shook his head. "We can't take that risk."

Grace turned to look at the agent. "What are you saying?"

"She needs to be some place where she won't be a danger to anyone or herself."

"And that is?"

Cho looked a little sad now. "I've been talking to the staff here…they want her put in the psych ward for observation…I'm going to tell them yes."

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Jane had walked off after Cho told them about his decision. He was upset, undoubtedly because he hated the idea of locking Lisbon up like he once was. To be fair, everyone hated it. The three watched as he walked out of the waiting area before Grace spoke up. "Let me talk to her."

"What?" Rigsby asked as he stared at her.

"Maybe I can find out why she hates him so much," she offered before adding, "It might help."

"Or make things worse," Cho told her as he took a seat on a nearby chair.

"Then what do we have to lose?"

"Grace," Rigsby warned as he laid a hand on her shoulder.

"Wayne, she is our boss and more than that she is our friend. If just one of us can get her to talk about what happen then maybe we can help her," Grace explained as she headed towards Lisbon's room.

"We will be here," Rigsby said as he took a seat next to Cho. He knew better than to stop Grace from doing something when she was determined.

"Thanks," Grace smiled then made her way to the room that Lisbon was in. The door was closed and Lisbon was quiet now that Jane was gone. She took a deep breath before opening the door and peeking inside. "Boss?"

Lisbon eyes shifted to the younger woman as she closed the door. "Van Pelt?"

"How are you feeling?"

"I want out of here," Lisbon lifted the restraints that keep her tied to the bed. She was calm now but obviously confused about everything.

"It is for your own protection," Grace explained as she pulled a chair close to the bed and sat down.

"My protection?"

"Yes."

Lisbon shook her head. "Why do I need protecting?"

Grace looked away for a minute before explaining. "More like they are protecting you from hurting someone."

"Who would I want to hurt?" Lisbon asked seriously as her eyes met Grace's. She looked genuinely upset by that idea.

"Jane."

Grace watched as Lisbon whole demeanor changed and then she spat out. "Bastard."

It was startling to watch as Lisbon went from calm and sad to all encompassing rage. "Why?"

"Why what?" Lisbon asked angry.

She leaned forward. "Why do you hate him so much?"

"I'd rather keep that to myself."

"Boss," Grace pleaded.

"We don't share our personal lives on this team," Lisbon stated then moved her head so she was facing away from Grace.

"Since when?"

Lisbon still wouldn't look at her. "Since you started working here and before."

Grace shook her head "You know that isn't true."

"Prove it," Lisbon challenged, now looking back at her friend.

Well there was quite a bit that Grace could draw from. "Rigsby's child, Summer with Cho, and of course, the most important one."

Lisbon actually looked curious…and still mad. "Which is?"

Grace looked her in the eye. "How much you personally suffered when Jane went on his stint in Vegas."

Lisbon shook her head firmly. "I didn't suffer."

"You withdrew from everyone until he returned." Grace reminded her

"That isn't true," Lisbon hissed as she pulled on the restraints.

"You are in love with him," Grace said blatantly.

"Like hell I am."

"You might not remember now but you will remember," Grace told her firmly.

Lisbon shifted her head so her eyes met Grace's before speaking "I would never fall in love with a jackass like him."

She said it so finitely, as if she truly meant those words…probably because she did. The woman that fell in love with Jane was gone; this copy was in her place…this poor replica that couldn't understand how her "twin" had felt at all. She couldn't see how much love Jane still had for her.

Grace decided to take another tactic. "What happened to you while you were gone?" she asked concerned.

Lisbon's face darkened and Grace saw real fear in her eyes. "I was locked up."

"Where?"

"Somewhere that cold and unwelcoming," Lisbon stated, she looked away as if she hated even thinking about it. Grace nodded at least she might be able to get somewhere with Lisbon if she didn't mention Jane's name.

"Do you remember if they did anything to you?" Grace refused to use the word _he_ for fear that Lisbon might think that she was talking about Jane.

Lisbon shook her head. "I don't remember."

"What is the last thing you remember clearly?"

Now Lisbon rolled her eyes and looked angry again. "Jane and I fighting as usual."

"About?"

"Red John."

"Then…?"

Lisbon stared at her for a long moment and then shook her head. "Nothing."

"Are you sure?" Grace asked as she studied Lisbon.

"Yes, why?"

"You don't remember being in a relationship with Jane?"  
Lisbon laughed now, as if the thought was ridiculous. "Jane and I in a relationship, can you just imagine the type of problems it would cause?"

"You are talking about Red John finding out."

"Him, the CBI, anyone. Not the best career move," Lisbon stated and turned away from Grace once again.

"He looked for you."

She rolled over to look at Grace. "What?"

"Jane spent eleven months looking for you and if you thought six months was a long time to worry imagine how he felt not knowing where you were or even if you were alive," Grace explained to her.

"Why would he even search for me?"

"Because he is in love with you."

"Funny," Lisbon scoffed.

Grace studied her friend for a moment with a firm steady gaze. "We will get through this and in the end you will remember why you love him," Grace told her as she got to her feet and made her way to the door.

"Grace," Lisbon voiced stopped her.

"Yes,"

"I will never forgive him," Lisbon said quietly before turning her head away again. Grace nodded and made her way out of the room and back to the rest of the team. They were all right where she had left them, Cho and Rigsby actually looking slightly hopeful.

"So?" Cho asked as she took a seat.

Grace sighed and shook her head. "You are right."

"Thank you," Cho got to his feet and headed to the nurses station to inform them that they were giving permission to move Lisbon to the psych ward.

"Wayne, she is going to need help," Grace whispered as she reached for his hand.

"She doesn't remember anything?"

She shook her head. "She doesn't remember being with him or being in love with him."

Rigsby gave her a calm look. "She will be fine."

"How can you be sure?" Her voice quivered.

"Because Jane is Jane," Rigsby gave her a hand a quick squeeze as the two of them watched Cho talk to the head doctor to transfer their friend to the psych ward.

Like she really was insane.

* * *

Grace decided to look for Jane, to tell him about what she had learned and maybe give him some support. Out of everyone here she knew he was the one that was hurting the most. It took her a while to find him; it was a big hospital after all. She supposed she shouldn't have been surprised to find him sitting outside of the chapel, slumped against the wall. Most everyone would have gone inside to pray, but not Jane, he stayed out like a non-believer who desperately wanted to believe.

Maybe he was praying.

Grace sat down next to him and put the Styrofoam cup of tea next to him. "It's just hot hospital brew but it's something."

Jane stared at the tea as if he didn't know what to do with it for a minute. Then he picked it up and took a sip. "Thank you, Grace."

For a minute they just sat there in silence. Then Grace sighed. "I talked to her."

Jane was still like a stone. "What did she say?"

"She doesn't remember much," Grace explained, "she doesn't remember your relationship."

"Interesting," Jane said before taking a sip.

"How so?"

"It means he didn't twist around her memories so much as erased the good ones," Jane explained, "no doubt it took a while."

"Well he had her for eleven months." Jane nodded but didn't say anything, he was lost in thought for a long while. Grace stared at him for a minute and then looked away. "She said she was kept somewhere cold and unwelcoming."

"That describes the basement well enough."

Grace sighed. "She doesn't remember much else thought…but she'll talk to me."

"Because you aren't the one she wants to kill."

She couldn't very well argue with that point. "Why would he do it like this?"

Jane gave her a surprised look. "That's obvious. His plan is quite beautiful in it's simplicity actually."

"What are you talking about?"

"I'm the only one that has a chance of getting her out of this," Jane explained, "but I can't go near her because she wants to shoot me. If that wasn't bad enough, I have to discover the trigger, which could one of thousands of possibilities. He knows I don't have a chance in bringing her back." He smiled bitterly, "but she isn't dead. She's here, she's alive and I can see her any time I want…but she might as well be dead to me if the one person I could ever love again hates the sight of me."

Grace was quiet for a very long time. She wanted to disagree with Jane but there was nothing she could do, he always knew Red John's motives better than anyone else. He was right; this had been an elaborate plan to make Jane completely helpless.

And it was working.

"Cho is doing what is best for her," Grace told him softly.

"I know he is," Jane agreed, "but it doesn't change what has happened."

She looked down at her hands for a long while. "Will you be able to help her?"

"Probably not."

"So you are just going to give up?"

Jane gave her a very hard look. "No."

"But you said—."

"I probably can't do this," Jane admitted, "I shouldn't be able to. But I don't give a damn about that. I _have_ to save her; I have to get her out of this…I need her, Grace. I need her to live, to breathe…she's the only thing that truly matters to me anymore."

Grace smiled very softly at his words. "Then why are you sitting here?"

Jane shrugged. "I was hoping the god she loves so much might lend me a hand."

"Don't you need to be inside the chapel then?"

"I don't belong there," Jane told her, "I belong with her." He got to his feet and lent a hand to help her to hers. "I'm going to talk to her, I have a few ideas."

"I'm going back to the house, see what the forensics team has found," she told him.

Jane nodded. "Good." He was quiet a moment and then met her eyes. "Grace…thank you."

She smiled and gently pressed a chaste kiss to his cheek. "Any time, Jane."

* * *

Lisbon had been moved to the psych ward at the hospital, it was a simple room with a bed, a small table and a couple of chairs. She was under careful observation but not suicide watch, Jane was certain that the only person she wanted to hurt was him. Cho didn't want Jane to go near her in case she succeeded but there was the problem, the only person who could pull her out of this trance was him.

So Jane did as he pleased.

He watched her from the small window in the door. She was sitting on her bed, absently playing with strips she's torn from her sheets. She was braiding and unbraiding them, over and over again, like she couldn't keep her hands still. She'd never had that kind of nervous energy before, it had to be a remnant of her captivity. Jane made a note to do a thorough search of the basement they'd found her in; maybe he would find a few more clues.

But right now he had another idea in mind for drawing her out of this trance.

"I need you to restrain her," Jane said, not taking his eyes off of Lisbon, "I can't have her trying to kill me when I'm in there."

"Is that really a smart idea?" Rigsby asked.

Jane didn't look at him. "We don't have a choice."

Cho and Rigsby saw the wisdom in that statement. They were the ones who went in there and put Lisbon's hand in restraints so she was sitting at the table. She wasn't happy about it but she didn't fight them as much, she was more confused than anything and upset. So far it was only when Jane was in the room or mentioned that she got violent.

"What's going on?" She kept asking, "Why can't I go home?"

They didn't say anything and Jane decided it was time to start his plan.

As soon as he walked in her whole demeanor changed, she went from calm, confused and scared to blinding rage. She was pulling at her restraints, straining to get out of her seat, her whole face turning red with anger. "You piece of shit!" she shouted along with several more unrepeatable words.

He raised his eyebrows at her words but didn't show any other response. Instead he moved closer to her. "Lisbon, I want you to listen to me." He put a hand on her arm and she jerked away.

"Don't you dare touch me you jackass!"

"Lisbon, close your eyes."

But she just glared at him, her eye remained stubbornly open. "Boss," Cho told her firmly, "do as he says."

"No, I won't listen to him. I hate him."

"Please," Rigsby said very gently, "please listen to us."

For a long moment she stared at Rigsby and Jane was grateful they were here. Lisbon might hate him but the love she had for her team still burned fiercely. Finally she looked back at Jane and gave him one last long glare before closing her eyes.

He let out a small sigh of relief then, relaxing just a little now that she was complying even if it was barely. "Lisbon, I want you to listen to me. Everything is perfect, everything is calm, you are at peace."

Jane watched as her breathing slowed, she was falling back into the trance. Perfect, he wanted her to be open to suggestion. This was about fishing, maybe he would get a nibble and figure out what had happened to her, maybe he would reel in the big fish and find the trigger…more likely he would come up empty.

But he had to try.

"The world is open to you," Jane told her gently, "You an have anything…what do you want?"

There was a beat and then she whispered. "Salvation."

He hadn't been expecting that.

"Salvation?" Jane repeated, "Why?"

"They took salvation from me."

He knelt down next to her chair. "Who took salvation from you? What is salvation?"

Lisbon actually began to shake, her whole body quivering with something…Jane could only guess it was fear. It was strong, strong enough to keep a grip on her even when her mind was blank.

She started almost thrashing and opened her eyes. For a second Jane only saw pain in those green depths, unimaginable pain. Then pain was quickly replaced by hatred. "What the hell are you doing?"

He stood back a bit, putting some distance between them but he still remained close. Jane took a moment to consider his options. He needed to know exactly what he was dealing with, where this corruption of Lisbon's mind had started.

"What is the last thing you remember?"

Lisbon looked up at him, angry and confused. "What are you talking about?"

"Do you remember meeting Red John?"

"What?"

Okay, so that was gone. She didn't remember meeting Red John at the warehouse. That was interesting, what reason was there to block that? He wondered what had taken place at that meeting, what did Red John want to hide?

"Do you remember the name Thomas Chase?"

"The author?"

Jane smiled, so the memories were selective. She remembered Chase and undoubtedly his death, so Chase had nothing to do with what had happened to Lisbon. "Close your eyes again."

"What the hell is this?" Lisbon asked, tugging on her restraints again.

"Lisbon, close your eyes."

She looked like she wanted to spit on his corpse but at least she closed her eyes. "I want you to remember going to the crime scene with Chase. You can picture it clearly in your mind, like photograph, crystal clear. Do you see it?"

"Yes," she told him, her voice flat and monotone. Perfect.

He leaned forward. "Now, the next scene. What do you see?"

"You in the attic. Fighting. You say I mean nothing to you."

That would be hard to forget and fit with the motives behind her new hatred for him. But what else? "What happened next?"

She began to shake again, her whole body tensing up. "Nothing?"

"Something happened," Jane told her, moving even closer, "something…"

"I'm alone…but then someone…?" Then Lisbon began to shake her head. "No, there's nothing."

"Red John," Jane told her, "you met Red John."

"No."

He paused letting the silence sink in. She didn't remember that, Red John wanted that memory gone. But what else? Was it just this one or was the whole eleven-month stretch gone?

"What happened next?"

"I…I don't…"

Jane was focused on this, it was there. The good memories between them were still buried somewhere. "Remember my attic, remember coming up to it."

She caught her breath, her eyes still closed. "There is something I have to do now."

He smiled again, feeling a surge of excitement. She remembered…something, she remembered something. He was breaking through.

"You kissed me," Jane reminded her, "Remember that? Remember kissing and making love against the attic wall." He heard Rigsby make a disgusted sound but he ignored him, Jane's eyes still focused on Lisbon. "You slept in my arms till morning."

Lisbon was breathing heavily but she seemed absolutely calm. Then she lifted her head and opened her eyes. "Jane?" Her voice was soft, the same way he recalled she would whisper in the mornings after a night filled with passion.

He'd done it.

Jane smiled down at her, relief and joy overcoming him. He reached over to untie one wrist; there was no need for it now.

Then quick as a blink, the softness was gone.

Before he could react Lisbon had balled her fist and punched him square in the jaw. He was knocked clean onto the ground but was lucky that Cho and Rigsby had quick reflexes. They jumped in to force her into the chair, keeping her from undoing the other restraint and attacking Jane again.

But they couldn't stop her voice.

"You worthless piece of shit! You deserve to die!"

Jane rolled over and climbed to his feet, keeping one hand on his swelling jaw, he tested to make sure nothing was broken. He could move it, but it damn well hurt. "I'm not finished, yet," Jane assured her.

She glared at him. "No, it won't be until you are dead."

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It took a long time for Lisbon to be calmed down with one of the nurses bringing a sedative so she would stop fighting anyone who entered the room. Jane was sitting in a small waiting area with an icepack he kept pressed against his jaw but his mind was racing with everything that had happened…and everything that he had just learned.

Rigsby and Cho finally came up to him, they looked terrible, upset and exhausted. He knew it was hard for them to see the leader they loved and respected being reduced to madness. As hard as it was for them, Jane knew it was a thousand times worse for him.

"That was your plan?" Cho asked, "Letting her hit you?"

"That was unfortunate," Jane replied, "but we know more than we did before."

"And that is?"

"Her memory stops before she met Red John in the warehouse, that meeting is key, why I'm not sure yet. She still has those memories and in time, I might help her to retrieve them," Jane pointed out, "but it won't be easy, he's got her mind locked up tight."

"Do you know what the trigger is?"

He shook his head. "No, I couldn't begin to guess."

"Then bringing up her memories?"

"I was trying something," Jane explained, "Hoping that forcing her to remember the truth would break the command to hurt me."

"It didn't work," Cho stated.

"No, I thought it had but I underestimated how badly she wants to hurt me," he agreed, "If she is willing to resort to deception." Jane smiled softly. "But she remembers, beneath the darkness she remembers loving me."

Rigsby grimaced. "Did you have to bring up the attic?"

Jane raised an eyebrow. "If you prefer I could have gone into detail of her and I on my couch, she was lying down and I—."

"Stop!" Rigsby exclaimed and shuddered. "Some things can't be unseen!"

He almost smiled then…almost. But he couldn't, no matter how amusing Rigsby's reaction was Jane couldn't work up the mirth to smile.

Cho stared at him, crossing his arms over his chest. "What now?"

Jane was quiet for a moment. "We need to know what else happened, the memories of her captivity are the strongest. If we bring those out I might find out what the trigger is or be able to break her out of the trance itself."

He stood up, tossing the icepack aside. "I need to see the basement."

Cho nodded. "All right then."

Jane followed both of them out of the hospital with many thoughts racing through his mind but one remained firm.

Salvation. They took salvation.

That was important…he just wished he knew why.

* * *

The house where Lisbon was found in looked the same from before the CBI had descended on it but to Jane it was hell in disguise of a home. But he would wade through the fires of hell if it meant finding a way to get the woman he loved back. He might not be able to make it out of this unscathed but he would get Lisbon back first, not matter what it took.

Grace was in the front entrance to greet them. "Forensics swept the house, they haven't found anything. The only fingerprints were Lisbon's…and they were all in the basement."

"Anything else?" Cho asked.

She shook her head. "Red John cleaned the place out, nothing, it's as if he was never here in the first place."

Jane wasn't paying much attention to that conversation, he was looking around at the place, trying to imagine all of the terrible things that might have happened here. He slipped past Grace and headed towards his true destination. Jane heard the rest of the team quickly following but he didn't look back.

Down the stairs where Lisbon had shot him and to the now open door to the basement room. For a few seconds they all just stood in the middle of the room, staring at the place where their boss was held. "How long was she here?" Grace asked aloud, her voice tinged with horror.

Jane didn't say anything but he moved back out of the basement and closed the door, then locked them in.

"Jane, what are you doing?" Rigsby asked, both him and Cho pounding on the door.

He moved the three deadbolts and opened it again. "There's no viewing slot, you have to open the door to see inside."

"So?"

He walked back into the room, scanning the place with his eyes. "So, he wouldn't have kept her here without being able to watch her." Jane studied one wall, the one that was connected to the stairs. It took a few moments for him to find it. "There," he pointed up at one corner, up high near the ceiling. "There was a cable there, connected to a camera, I'm sure of it."

The others strained to look at it. "How the hell did forensics miss that?" Rigsby wondered aloud.

But Jane was already moving on to something else. His eyes turned to the bed where he knew Lisbon slept. He crouched down next to the piece of furniture and traced the rug with his fingertips. "She knelt here…you can see where her knees wore the rug down."

Grace was peaking over his shoulder to look but he didn't meet her eyes. He ran his hand under the bed and his fingers touched on something loose. Jane pulled it out to see what he'd found.

A loop of ribbon braided together, a ragged cross, made of more threadbare ribbon was loosely tied to it.

Ribbons. She'd been playing with ribbons at the hospital. Braiding and unbraiding over and over again.

"She prayed," Jane finished, running his hands over the cross Lisbon had created.

There was a very long moment of silence as the image of their boss begging God for help was seared into their minds.

"We need to see if there is any more information on John Russo," Grace declared, "maybe if we look into Martha Granger we can find a connection, or more properties."

Jane didn't say anything, still staring at the makeshift crucifix in his hand. He rose to his feet and then nodded his head. "Jane?" Grace asked, "Are you okay?"

That might have been the most ridiculous question he had ever been asked.

He didn't reply to that inane query, instead moving to lie down on the bed. "What are you doing?" Cho asked him, clearly confused.

"Resting," Jane replied and actually closing his eyes.

The rest of the team kept looking at each other, trying to figure out what Jane was doing but ultimately deciding that they had to let Jane be Jane. They silently agreed to leave him be and Cho gestured to them to leave.

Jane was still lying on the bed, his eyes closed.

Lisbon's cross still clutched in his fingers.

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The team congregated back upstairs. "Is Jane losing it?" Rigsby asked.

"What do you think?" Cho replied, giving Rigsby a hard look, "He's Jane."

"He's upset," Grace said soothingly, "But Jane always does what needs to be done."

"So what is he doing?" Rigsby wondered, "He's lying in there but not saying a word."

"He's trying to understand what happened to her," Grace explained, "he needs to know what she went through in order to figure out how to fix this."

"Can he?"

None of them liked that question. But the fact that they couldn't answer it was even more terrifying. Lisbon was the one that they'd all come to rely on, even after she was missing for eleven months they had all had this probably ridiculous hope that once she was found…everything would be all right.

The only person who hadn't had that dream was Jane.

"He has to," Cho stated.

"That doesn't mean he can."

"He has to," he repeated, "Because he won't survive if he doesn't."

* * *

"Agents," Bertram greeted the three of them when he entered the bullpen. "Care to tell me where the three of you have been?" The remaining members of Lisbon's team had come back to the CBI in an attempt to answer the many questions Lisbon's return had prompted. None of them involved talking to Bertram though, they were all angry he'd taken the case from them in the first place.

"Working a case," Rigsby informed him before turning back to his computer.

Bertram chuckled a little before speaking "I have been told that you have found Agent Lisbon."

"That's correct," Cho informed him as he got to his feet.

"And did you plan to inform me of your little discovery?"

"It has been a busy few hours," Cho pointed out as he crossed his arms across his chest. He wasn't keen to speak to the man either.

"Yes," Bertram nodded before continuing "I don't like when my agents keep me in the dark about someone who I care about."

"Care about?" Rigsby asked disgusted. "You handed the case to the SFPD."

"I assumed fresh eyes would help with the case," He reminded them, "I did what I thought was best for the team and Agent Lisbon."

"Like hell you did," Rigsby growled out.

"Agent I recommend you get some fresh air," Bertram ordered. "Cho, I believe it is time for you and I to have a talk."

Rigsby shook his head and walked out of the bullpen in annoyance. Cho waited for Bertram to motion to Lisbon's office before he moved to follow him.

"Sir?" Cho asked as he closed the door behind him and Bertram.

Bertram gave him a hard look. "You need to keep your team in check."

"It isn't my team," Cho stoic as always.

"If it isn't Jane causing trouble then it is on one of the four of you," Bertram gave a little laugh before he took a seat in Lisbon's office chair. He got down to business immediately "I already spoke to the doctors."

"So?"

"They don't believe she is capable of returning back to work," He leaned back and studied Cho who remained rooted in his spot, "In fact there is some question over whether she will ever truly be herself again."

"They are wrong."

"Really?"

"Yes."

Bertram gave him a look. "And you believe this how?"

"Because she is stronger than you think she is."

"Is that it or is it because Jane says so?" Bertram questioned as he leaned back against the chair.

"It is because I _know _her," Cho hissed slightly.

"And if you are wrong then are you ready to take over the team?"

Cho didn't look like he believed that situation was possible, but he did give Bertram a serious look. "If it comes down to that, then yes."

The door to the office suddenly opened and Jane walked in "Gale."

"Jane, this is a private meeting," Bertram informed him icily, he'd never liked the consultant, had barely tolerated him actually.

"Meh," Jane replied as he took a seat across from Bertram. "You are merely testing the faithful Cho here to see if he is willing to bend over backwards for you."

"Excuses me?"

"You are betting that Lisbon won't be able to return to work and even if she did then you would need to get rid of me."

"Is that right," Bertram smirked.

"Well, see as how every time I'm near her she wants to shoot me then yeah. Plus you don't want the headlines to read "CBI agent shoots consultant." Jane used his hands to make quotation marks.

"So this is your plan?" Bertram shook his head. "You think that I care about your health that much?"

"No, but you do care about your job and the reputation of the CBI," Jane smiled.

"So you want me to tell the entire press that she has been found but won't return to duty?"

"No," Jane leaned forward a little "I want you to keep this whole matter quiet."

"No," Bertram shook his head. He wasn't about to keep the biggest story of the year under wraps just because Jane said so.

"It is for her own safety."

"Her picture has been splattered across the news for the past eleven months," Bertram pointed out.

"Then we keep with that story," Cho stated from his place.

Bertram looked doubtful "For how long?"

"Until I can _save_ her," Jane told him before leaning back.

"Are you that confident you can?"

"Yes."

"He is the best for a reason," Cho added. Jane knew Cho meant that, the man didn't throw out compliments like that for nothing.

Bertram nodded and got to his feet. "I will keep this quiet for as long as possible but it won't stay that way for long."

"I will figure it out," Jane acknowledge before Bertram left the office leaving him and Cho alone.

He and Cho were quiet for a while. "Are you sure this is what you want?" Cho asked

Jane nodded. "We can't have distractions, especially not the press hounding the hospitals for pictures."

"What about her brothers?" Cho asked suddenly.

He thought about that for a minute. "Don't tell them anything."

"Jane, they are her family."

"So are we," Jane stately firmly as he got to his feet. "But we have no clue what else he did to her."

"So you want to keep everyone in the dark?"

"That surprises you?"

"No, but you better be sure because you are not just messing with one life." Cho stated.

"Cho, I'm going to do everything I can to save her," Jane pauses at the office door. "She means too much to me to lose her now."

Cho watched him leave and let out a small breath. Before heading out of the office and towards the bullpen.

"What happened?" Van Pelt asked.

"We are going to keep this quiet from the media," Cho informed her just as Rigsby entered the bullpen "Calm down now?"

"Yes," Rigsby sat down at his desk. "What now?"

"We find the answers we are looking for," Jane said from his couch "and quickly."

Things were tense in the bullpen; there was no denying that. They were all silent. Rigsby and Grace at their desks, Cho standing in the middle of the room and Jane on his couch, all of them quiet and somber.

"What can we do?" Grace finally asked.

Jane shook his head. "Nothing, not yet at least."

"We can't just sit here," Rigsby pointed out.

He sighed and put one hand over his eyes. "She's under hypnosis, I can't get her out of it unless I find out what the trigger is."

"You figured it out when I was under hypnosis."

"That was a clever amateur," Jane reminded him, "a quick decision sprung from panic. He had eleven months to twist Lisbon's mind, I cannot even imagine what else he's planted in there or what safeguards he's created."

Grace looked at him dumbfounded. "So we're just supposed to accept that she's going to be locked up in a psych ward for the rest of her life?"

"No," Jane said quickly, "I will figure this out. I will find a way to get her out of it."

"How?"

"By figuring out Red John's game," Jane explained simply.

"Isn't it obvious?" Cho asked, "She's here to kill you."

"If Red John wanted to kill me he'd do it himself," Jane pointed out, "No, there is something else going on. She's not here to kill me but to cause me pain, there's a new game and I have to figure out what the board is."

"And how are you going to do that?"

"By getting close to Lisbon again and figuring out everything that he did to her."

"She wants to kill you," Rigsby reminded him.

"Thank you, Rigsby. I didn't know that was her goal when she shot me," Jane replied sarcastically. He was getting frustrated and angry. This situation was beyond any nightmare he had ever concocted.

"Can you really do this?" Cho asked.

Jane shook his head. "I don't have a choice."

There was a long moment of silence as they all realized what that meant. There was no room for failure here; Jane had to somehow find a way to fix their friend. The alternative was too devastating to even comprehend.

"Well," Rigsby said, sighing heavily, "This is it. There is no way it can get any worse."

The timing could not have been more ominous. Cho's phone rang and everyone in the room glanced in the direction of it, resting on his desk. Cho walked over and picked it up. "This is Agent Cho…yes? All of us? Are you sure? All right, thanks."

He met all of there eyes. "That was the hospital. Dr. Gates said she has something important she needs to tell us about Lisbon."

"What is it?"

"She wouldn't say over the phone, she wants to tell us in person."

Everyone hated the sound of that.

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Half an hour later they were gathered in the hallway outside of an observation room. Lisbon was sitting calmly in the middle of room, staring at the door. She didn't move except to blink. Of all things…she looked comfortable being in a locked room, as if this was what she was used to.

What had Red John done to her?

"Thank you for coming," Dr. Gates said as she walked up to them.

"Her condition looks the same," Jane pointed out.

"No, nothing has changed in that regard."

"Then why did you call us?" Cho asked.

She sighed heavily and opened the file she had been carrying. "After Agent Lisbon was brought in here we decided to run a battery of tests to check for any drugs that could be in her system, to get us an idea over what has happened to her."

"You found drugs?"

"No, there was nothing like that in her blood work."

"But you found something," Jane stated.

She nodded. "In her blood work we found out that she had elevated levels of the hormone hCG."

"What does that mean?"

Dr. Gates gave them a long look. "HCG is the hormone that is released during pregnancy."

Grace gasped and Jane actually felt his heart stop. "She's pregnant?" Cho asked, not hiding his shock either.

"After I got back the blood work we gave her a physical exam," the doctor continued, "she is not pregnant now…but she was."

"What exactly are you saying?"

She sighed. "I'd estimate that Agent Lisbon gave birth four to eight weeks ago."

* * *

A/N: Uh oh! 4-8 weeks, that could mean it is Jane's baby...or maybe someone else's depending on what happened. You'll have to read to find out ;-)

Let us know what you think.

And our friend Eva mad an AMAZING trailer for Secluded in Red. We had to wait because we didn't want to post any spoilers but here it is! www . youtube . com. / watch?v=3xCqkbMasUA&feature= (remove the spaces)

In the next chapter you see the whole team react to this bomb shell and Jane sinks deeper into his pit as his efforts to get Lisbon to remember go awry.


	4. Through the Darkness

Disclaimer: We own nothing

A/N Nerwen Aldarion: A lot of theories going around after the big reveal that Lisbon had a baby, hehehe but you'll have to wait and see if you guys are right. This chapter is fun with more sad Jane and more pain but don't worry, happiness will come...eventually. Thanks for all of the AMAZING reviews!

A/N Steele Simz: I love all the theories people have about what is happening so thank you for those. I finally finished my own story Red Leaves Of Fall. Check it out as well, and Nerwen finished her story Lavinia and check out her new one Poison and Wine, you won't be disappointed. Until next time, enjoy the new chapter and feel free to leave a review with your thoughts and theories.

**Anonymous Reviews**:

**Anonymous:** Awww thanks so much hehehe, it has been fun to write. You'll have to wait and see who fathered Lisbon's baby

**Vice Loser:** Hehehe well I hope you told Steele what you thought! Hopefully you'll find this chapter just as good

**Malin:** Ooooh then you'll love this chapter hehehe. Your questions will be answered...eventually

**Anna:** We most certainly did...and there are still more! LOL

**pebblez24:** Hehehe good, we are doing our job then

**Anonymous: **Well it helps when I have a partner in crime LOL

NOTE: Check out the AMAZING trailer our friend Eva made! www . youtube . com. / watch?v=3xCqkbMasUA&feature= (remove the spaces)

* * *

Chapter 4: Through the Darkness

There was a very long moment of silence as the truth sank in like a blow to the head. Jane was feeling sick to his stomach, not that he was feeling much else.

"She had a baby?" Rigsby asked completely dumbfounded.

"Yes, it appears delivery was uncomplicated but I'm afraid I cannot tell you much else. Do you have any idea where the child could be?"

"If we knew that we wouldn't be here," Cho muttered.

She had a baby. A baby. There was a child…somewhere. Her child.

Cho and Rigsby were still trying to argue with the good doctor, but it was Grace who noticed when Jane reached for the door to let himself into Lisbon's room. "Jane wait!"

Lisbon was still sitting there when he let himself into the room. She flushed as soon as she saw him, standing up with a determined look on her face. "You son of a bitch," she hissed and lunged at him, probably to beat him to a bloody pulp.

But Grace and Rigsby were faster. They rushed over and forced her back into her seat, keeping her pinned down. She struggled against them, growling out profanities as she glared daggers at him.

"Lisbon," Jane said urgently, ignoring the poisonous looks. "Where's the baby?"

"What baby?"

He knelt down next to her, putting both hands on her shoulders, pleading at her to look at him. "The baby, Lisbon. Think…you had a baby."

"There is no baby."

"Yes there is. Remember, you had a baby, you can't forget something like that."

"I didn't have any baby!"

Jane stared into her eyes, seeing the dilated pupils and the look of complete hatred on her face. In that moment he really was devastated because he knew then…she was lost.

"Jane," Cho said putting a hand on his shoulder, "she doesn't remember."

Grace and Rigsby kept Lisbon held back until Jane left the room, feeling like he was free falling from twenty thousand feet. He stood outside the hallway, his back to them all as he tried to come to grips with what was happening.

There were several minutes of silence as they mercifully gave him time to gather himself. Finally he turned around to face them. "He has the baby."

"Is it yours?" Cho asked

"I don't know," Jane admitted, glancing away. "Probably."

"That's it?" Grace said incredulously, she refused to believe he didn't know _something_.

"I don't know what he did to her," Jane reminded her.

"But you think the baby is yours."

"I don't know."

"But you said…"

"I don't know!" Jane shouted looking in her eyes. "I can't know, I don't know what happened to her, I don't know what he did to her, if he…" He stopped unable to finish the horrifying thought. He swallowed heavily and shook his head. "I don't know."

They were quite for a long time before Rigsby spoke up. "What now?"

"We have to find the baby," Jane said, "somehow, we find it."

It was truth. The problem was the question hanging over their heads.

How?

* * *

"So what do we do now?" Grace asked as she, Rigsby and Cho entered the bullpen. Jane had disappeared not long after the revelation that Lisbon had a baby, he wouldn't go far though. He rarely left the hospital it seemed, his answers were locked up tight in Lisbon's mind and he was searching for a key in a pile of other keys.

"We put out a alert and hope that something pops up," Cho said as he dropped into his seat and leaned back against the chair, the other two followed suit. They were all exhausted and not just from lack of sleep, this was the exhaustion that came when bad news was piled on bad news.

"We have nothing to go on," Grace informed him as she took a seat at her computer. It was true, they didn't even know if the baby was a boy or a girl.

"It is our only chance Grace," Rigsby stated from his desk.

"The child could be anywhere by now and most likely _he _has it," Cho stated as he rubbed the back of his neck.

They were quite for a moment before the silence was broken by a terrible thought. "Do you think it is _his_?" Grace asked softly.

"Whose?"

"Red John."

"It could be," Cho admitted, "the timing would fit but then again she was with Jane before she went missing so it could be his also."

"Are we really talking about the boss and who she may have slept with?" Rigsby asked as he shivered with just the thought.

"She slept with Jane willingly, not Red John," Grace replied as she started to fill out the paperwork for the alert.

"But _he _could have done things to her to make her want to sleep with him," Rigsby pointed out.

"You can't hypnotize someone do something against their will," Cho reminded him.

"Maybe she didn't sleep with him willing," Grace suggested.

"Are you saying _he_ raped her?" Rigsby lowered his voice as he stared at her in shock.

"Wayne we don't know what happen while she was gone and if he did there wouldn't be any evidence after all these months."

"No," Cho piped up.

"What?" Rigsby asked.

Cho looked him in the eye, declaring something he was completely certain of. "It's Jane's child that is for certain because it would be the perfect piece in Red John's sick game. He would use the child against Jane, make him suffer once again."

"The alert is in but we are not going to get any information with the little that we have," Grace stated as she looked at Cho.

"Better than nothing for the moment," Cho told her as he picked up the phone.

"Who are you calling?" Rigsby asked as he watchd Cho punch a number in.

"Sophie Miller," Cho told him as he placed the phone against his ear.

"Wasn't that Jane's old doctor?"

"Yes, and I'm hoping she can help us," Cho told him as he got to his feet and walked out of the room so he could talk in private.

Rigsby turned to Grace with a questioning glance. "What good will that do?"

She shrugged. "It can't hurt."

Rigsby got to his feet and headed over to Grace's desk. "What if Cho is wrong and the child doesn't belong to Jane?"

"I don't know," Grace said resigned. "We just have to hope for the best at this point." She placed a hand on his arm just as Cho walked back in.

"Let's go back to the hospital," he told them.

"What did she say?" Grace asked.

"She is going to come," Cho told them before turning around and heading to the elevators.

"Did you call her for Jane or Lisbon," Rigsby asked as he and Grace caught up with Cho.

"Both," Cho said as he pressed the button on the elevator. Just then Cho phone rang. "Cho."

"Are you guys on your way back here?" Jane voiced boomed through the phone.

"We are just leaving now," Cho informed him.

"I have an idea," Jane told him.

"What kind of idea?" Cho asked skeptically.

"See you when you get here," Jane replied and then Cho heard a click telling him Jane had hung up.

"He has an idea?" Rigsby asked as the elevator doors opened.

"Yes," Cho replied.

"Why don't I like the sound of that?" Rigsby asked.

"Because his ideas always have a bad side to them," Cho replied just as the doors shut.

* * *

"Are you sure you know what you are doing?" Rigsby asked for the umpteenth time.

"I'm doing what needs to be done," Jane replied smoothly, he wasn't even looking at Rigsby; he was focused on making sure all of the equipment was in place.

"But you know what you are doing."

"Not a clue."

That sounded about right to everyone else but Jane honestly didn't care what they thought of his plan. He just knew that something had to be done to try and figure out what had happened to Lisbon, how to get her out of this and where her child was. Quite honestly, he had never felt so helpless in his life.

Cho was more ready for business. "What do we need to do?"

"Right now? Nothing," Jane told him, "Just make sure she is alone in her room. I'll get her into a light trance and we will see what happens."

"I don't like the sound of this."

"What else is new?"

They didn't argue with him anymore but finished setting up the sound system. Jane stayed outside of the room with the little microphone by him. "Why are you changing your voice again?" Rigsby asked.

"I don't want her having any association with me," Jane explained, "We need her completely focused."

"On what?"

"Patience," Jane told him, "you'll see." He turned his eyes through the small window and looked at Lisbon. She was seated at her bed still playing with her ribbons. That was all she seeming did was twist ribbons around in her fingers.

It was show time.

"Lisbon," his voice sounded mechanical and foreign through the filter…but it didn't sound like him.

She jumped as if God had just spoken…he might have found that amusing under different circumstances. "What the hell is going on?"

"Just listen to me."

"Why would I listen to a disembodied voice?"

Rigsby actually started to chuckle and even Cho sounded amused. "Well at least she sounds like herself."

But Jane was concentrating. "Just listen, it is very important that you do."

Lisbon glared at the door and sat up. "Fine."

He smiled now, this was working. "Close your eyes and remain absolutely calm. Think about a better time when you and your mother used to go on drives…just the two of you. The wheels going round and round and round…"

They all watched as she slowed her breathing and quickly fell under a trance. Quite honestly this was the easy part, since she was technically still under a trance it was easy for her to slip into another. "Now…I want you to remember yourself as a captive. Remember the basement. The bed you slept on, the water stain on the ceiling, the crucifix you made. Think back on that time, on how you felt. All of those memories are yours to access because that is where you are. When you open your eyes that is what you will see."

He waited a few moments before finally saying. "Open your eyes."

And she did.

Lisbon just sat there on the bed doing exactly as she was before, playing with the ribbons. There was only one way to find out for sure if this had worked.

Jane nodded at Grace and she took the small tray of food into the room. Lisbon didn't react until the door opened and Grace walked in. She stood up from the bed and stared at Grace for a minute with a look of anger and hatred.

Grace noticed it too and she was stopped in her tracks.

"What are you doing here?" Lisbon snarled.

Jane turned and spoke into the radio so Grace could hear him through the earpiece. "Go along with it, it's working."

"I'm bringing you food," Grace explained, setting the tray down on the table.

"And you're here to brag some more?" Lisbon asked bitterly, "You don't have to remind me constantly but you just can't help yourself can you?"

"What the hell is she talking about?" Rigsby wondered but Jane couldn't tear his eyes away from what was unfolding.

Grace looked completely lost on what was going on, she still wasn't sure what part she was really supposed to be playing until Lisbon continued. "I've told you before I don't want to hear about you sleeping with Jane!"

Jane flinched a little and while Rigsby and Cho turned to look at him. "It's Lorelei," Jane whispered more to himself. Then he grabbed the radio. "It's Lorelei, Grace, she thinks you're Lorelei."

Grace turned around a little and raised her sleeve. "What am I supposed to do?" Grace whispered.

"Keep going."

The redhead looked like she wanted to kill Jane herself now. She wasn't entirely sure how to act like the tempting siren that was also one of Red John's followers. Finally she turned to face Lisbon. "Then what do you want to talk about?"

"Nothing," Lisbon told her, "leave me alone. After what you did…I'd rather see Jeffrey."

"Who's Jeffrey?" Rigsby wondered.

"I have no idea," Jane admitted but he was thrilled. They were getting somewhere. Lorelei and Jeffrey, two people that Lisbon had known.

"I'm here," Grace told her, "I'm not going anywhere, I don't care what I did."

For a long moment all Lisbon did was stare at Grace.

Then she snapped.

Quicker than a blink Lisbon shoved Grace up against the wall and had one arm against her windpipe.

"Whoa!" Jane exclaimed while Rigsby and Cho quickly moved to run into the room to pull Lisbon off of her.

But before that Lisbon was shouting at Grace. "You selfish bitch! I'll never forgive you for this! You tell your master that I want him back! I want him back!" Grace was struggling to get free just so she can breathe again.

Rigsby and Cho burst through the door, Lisbon turned to gape at them. "Who the hell are you?" But they didn't answer, just forced her away from Grace who started coughing as soon as she was free, rubbing her now raw throat.

Lisbon was clawing and fighting the people she considered her captors. "Let me go! Let me go!"

An orderly rushed into the room with a huge needle and Lisbon's eyes got very wide. "No! Don't stick that in me! No!" She struggled some more but it was now three against one as the orderly jabbed the needle in her arm. "Please, no! Please God I want to go home…I want to go home. Hail Mary full of Grace…find me."

Her voice trailed off and her movements slowed and then stopped as the drugs kicked in. The three men set her back down on the bed where she would sleep for several hours. Then her team simply stared at her for a long while, wondering what the hell had happened.

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Twenty minutes later Lisbon's team was sitting in a waiting area with Grace drinking some hot water to help sooth her throat.

"You okay?" Rigsby asked again.

She nodded, her voice a little hoarse. "Nothing permanent." But it was clear she was shaken.

Jane had been quiet since the whole incident. Finally he looked up and met Cho's eyes. "We need to try again."

"What?" Rigsby exclaimed.

"No," Cho stated firmly.

"It worked," Jane told him.

"She's still crazy."

"But now we know so much. We know Lorelei is working with Red John again and is one of her jailers. We know there is a man named Jeffrey," Jane continued, "there has to be more."

"She almost killed Grace," Rigsby pointed out.

Jane shook his head. "No, she wouldn't have killed her. She wanted Lorelei to send Red John a message."

"Maybe," Grace agreed, her voice still hoarse, "But I don't want to go back in there."

"We can't give up," Jane replied, his voice low and cold. "Red John has her child…he has her locked inside of her own mind and I can't leave it like this!"

"Then you need to find another way," Cho told him firmly, "Because we can't lose another member of our team."

That was the problem. Jane didn't know another way.

Jane walked away from Cho and the others, he ended up near a waiting room and started to pace furious before he stopped and slammed his fist into the wall.

"Dammit," he pulled his hand back and cradled it near his chest as a nurse approached him.

"Let me see," she said as she went to touch his hand but he jerked back.

"Leave me alone," he told her as he walked away from her too. He headed down the familiar path that he had been walking ever since they found Lisbon. Getting to the door to the chapel he place a hand on the door before turned around and slumping down against the wall next to the door. He still couldn't force himself to go inside.

"Why?" he whispered to himself as he leaned his head back against the wall and closed his eyes. He forced his mind to walk around the memory palace he had created the moment him and Lisbon got together. His lips started to twitch as he thought about a case they had one week before she had disappeared.

_"Lisbon, let me go undercover and I promise the case will be solved quickly." he pleaded with her as the two of them sat on her couch in her office. _

_ "No," she replied firmly as she took a sip of her coffee. _

_ "Why?"_

_ "Well, for one you don't do well undercover and second of all, it is a stripper joint." _

_ "So this is a jealously thing," he smiled at her as he wrapped his arm around her. "My dear Teresa you have nothing to worry about."_

_ "Jane!" She hissed as she moved away from his arm. "I thought we were perfectly clear about the rules we set."_

_ "No, I remember saying I didn't care about the rules except when it came to Red John," he corrected her. _

_ "You follow no rules when it comes to him," she countered as she got to her feet and headed to the door, there was a dark look in her eyes when she said that. She never wanted to talk about Red John anymore. _

_ "You know this is our only chance to solve this case," he remarked as he got to his feet. _

_ "Ugh."_

_ "I promise to be on my best behavior," Jane promised her with his smile. Part of her wanted to smack him right there and then, while the other part wanted to kiss him senseless and say damn the rules she had set for their relationship. _

_ "Fine, I will let you go undercover but so help me god if you do anything to cause trouble," she warned as she walked out of the office. _

_ "You won't regret this," he yelled after her. _

_ "Oh, I'm pretty sure I will," she muttered to herself._

_0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0_

_ Everything had been going according to plan. He had acted the part without any problems until the man owning the stripper joint asked him to meet with some private people that were interested. This was the lead they were hoping for and if he was correct, which he was normally, then the owner would try to offer him some young girls. However, he was wrong and instead of ending up in a room with several young girls he ended up in a room with a bunch of strippers. To say the least he had to call for help when they started to take off his clothes. The owner had seen his picture on a past news interview and knew he worked for the cops. By the time Lisbon and company had shown up he was half-naked and tied to a chair. _

_ "CBI, freeze." He heard several people yelling around him. The girls who had been undressing him scrambled away in hopes of getting away. Just then the door slammed open and Lisbon had a gun pointed directly at him. _

_ "Jane?"_

_ "Perfect timing, Lisbon," he told her as he breathed a sigh of relief._

_ Her face was a mixture of shock, horror and definitely jealousy. "What the hell?"_

_ "It isn't what it looks like," he told her quickly. _

_ "Really?!" _

_ "I was a innocent bystander here," he protested as Lisbon came over and started to untie the knots around his wrist. _

_ "Innocent, my ass." Lisbon growled as she started to work on the other wrist. She wasn't being the least bit gentle._

_ "Do you honestly think I would want to be in this type of situation?" he asked as he got to his feet and rubbed his wrist from where the ropes had been. _

_ "I don't know you tell me," she spat out as she threw the rope down on the floor._

_ "Why so grumpy?"_

_ "Jane, don't you dare-" she was cut off as Cho walked into the room. _

_ "We are gathering up everyone and Rigsby is taking the owner in for questioning."_

_ She nodded at the other agent. "Thanks, Cho."_

_ "We are ready to leave when you are," Cho told her as he looked at Jane. "Might want to get dressed first."_

_ "Thank you, Cho." Jane said sarcastically at the obvious statement as he went in search for his pants. Cho nodded and left the two of them alone. _

_ "Will you hurry up?" she said annoyed as Jane grabbed his shirt off the floor. _

_ "I thought you loved seeing me in boxers," he said as he gestured to his clothing. "They had little guns on them just for you." _

_ "You know what get a ride back with Cho," she shot back and walked away from him slamming the door behind her. _

_0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0_

_ It was much later in the day when he decided to descend from his attic. He had gone up there for fear that Lisbon might do something drastic but she never came to see him and never even text him. So when his tea ran out he went to look for her so they could head back to her place. As he entered the bullpen he noticed the lights to her office were off and Cho was the only one left. _

_ "Where is Lisbon?" _

_ "She went home for the evening," he told him as he finish signing some paperwork. _

_ "When?" _

_ "About two hours ago, why?"_

_ "No reason," he told Cho as he turned around and headed to the kitchen instead. He placed his teacup in the sink then made his way to the elevator. He knew Lisbon was probably blaming him for the situation that he'd gotten into but it wasn't his fault and he would prove it by seeing her tonight. Which meant he would have to break in and hope that she wasn't armed and waiting for him to show up. _

_ As he picked the lock and let himself in he noticed that the lights were off. Making his way up the stairs softly he saw that her bedroom door was open but the lights were off. He stopped at the door and listened to her breathing. It was soft and even, which told him that she was asleep, walking into the room quietly he stripped out of his clothes until he was only in his boxers. Jane made his way to the other side of the bed and crawled in. She was still fast asleep when he wrapped his arm around her and pulled her closer, it was then he felt her stiffen in his arms. _

_ "What the hell," she exclaimed then pulled his arm away from her and in a flash she straddled him and had both of his hands above his head. _

_ Jane didn't mind this position in the least. "Going for the rough style tonight?" He asked cheeky. _

_ "Why the hell did you break in?" She asked him but didn't loosen her grip. _

_ "It is obvious isn't it?" _

_ "What?"_

_ "To be with you of course," he smiled up at her and leaned up so he could kiss her but she backed out of reach from him. "You know you are beautiful when you are angry."_

_ "Don't distract me with compliments," she let go of his wrists and got off of him. "I'm still mad at you for what you did. You know what get up! Get out! I don't want you here."_

_He nodded and got off the bed and started to put on his pants when she spoke again "Where are you going?"_

_ "You have to make your mind up, woman," he told her as he buttoned his pants up. _

_ "Stay and explain yourself," she told him; he nodded and started to unbutton his pants. "Keep your pants on." _

_ He sighed and buttoned his pants back up before crawling back on the bed above the sheets before looking at her. "What do you want me to explain?"_

_ "How you ended up half-naked tied to a chair in a room full of strippers," she told him. Lisbon reached over and turned on the light. They both blinked as they adjusted to the brightness.  
"I was working the case, a little undercover work never hurt anyone."_

_ "You weren't undercover, you weren't _covered_ at all," she hissed as she crossed her arms across her chest. _

_"Jealous are we?"_

_"No, not jealous. I don't get jealous. I am _not_ jealous, Patrick Jane, I just expect a level of professionalism that you cannot give me. I am _not jealous!"

_"Professionalism? Now where is the fun in that, dear?"_

_ She glared at him. "I think you've had enough fun."_

_"Nothing happened between them and me, granted it did get a little close," he smirked at her with a brilliant smile. She refused to fall for that smile. _

_ "Oh I saw."_

_ "You know if you were almost completely naked with a bunch of males strippers or Walter even I wouldn't be jealous._

_She gaped at him in shock, which turned into a glare. "Oh really? You wouldn't be jealous if you caught me in bed with Walter...naked...his hands roaming my body as he brought me to the brink of passion?"_

_ Jane kept his face impassive. __"Nope, I would be man enough admit that is for the good of the case. Plus it wouldn't be the first time he has hands over your delicate body."_

_ "You're lying," she said as she thought he couldn't get any more infuriating._

_"Am I?"_

_ "Yes."_

_ Jane cocked his head. "Interesting."_

_ Now she was the one smirking a little. "You want to know how I know?"_

_"Always"_

_"You were gripping the bedspread so tight I think you tore a hole in it," she pointed to the small patch that his hand had been covering._

_ "Hmm," He looked down at the bed and saw that he was indeed holding it tightly. Well there was no way out of that one. "So I lied."_

_ "Yes you lied, don't take this as an excuse to go all caveman on me. I still sleep with a gun under my pillow."_

_ "Only under your pillow?" His wicked grin appeared across his face._

_"Oh I have them hidden other places."_

_ "Care to divulge those secret hiding places?"_

_ She smiled coquettishly at him, her anger still there but flirtation was currently winning. "You'll have to find them yourself."_

_ "Oh, how I love a puzzle," he leaned over and started to kiss her neck. _

_"Don't," she pleaded with him but it didn't have any muster behind it._

_"Don't what?" Jane asked as his hand wove its way under the cover and onto her body. _

_"I'm still mad at you," she informed him as her eyes drifted shut and his hand began to wander under her panties. _

_"Wouldn't be the first time," he replied. His fingers hit a sensitive spot and she arched her back against his him. _

_"God you are despicable," she whispered before reaching down to still his hand. She turned to face him. "Nothing's happening tonight." _

_"Seriously?" He asked as she forced his hand away from her._

_"Think of this as your punishment," she told him as she rolled over and turned off the light. _

_"Teresa, you can't be serious...I'm kinda..." he whimpered. She laughed then turned back around to face him. She let her hand wander over his chest then downwards towards the bulge that she could clearly see through his pants. _

_"I think I have the perfect solution for that," she said huskily. _

_He closed his eyes to her ministration and felt the moan leave his throat before he spoke. "And what would that be?"_

_"You really want to know?" she asked as she moved closer to him and started to leave feathered kisses against his throat." _

_ "Yes," he whispered._

_She moved her mouth over to his ear and whispered quietly, "A cold shower." She removed her hand and turned back around so her back was facing him. He laid there stunned as his mind tried to focus on what just happened. _

_"You a sly little minx," he said gruffly as he got off the bed and headed to the bathroom. "You wouldn't want to join me would you?" _

_"You are on your own." Lisbon replied. He shook his head and walked into the bathroom, he closed the door before he turned on the light. _

"There is not enough cold water in the world to make up for that,"_ he thought to himself as he started the shower_. "I'll have my revenge,"_ he smiled and started to undress as he planned just how to exact his punishment from her._

Jane felt a hand touch his shoulder softly and give him a little shake. He opened his eyes and blinked noticing he was still at the hospital.

"Jane?" Grace asked concerned as she bent down to look at him "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I must have dozed off," he told her as he got to his feet. He stretched his lower back then started back toward Lisbon's room. "Any improvement?"

"No, but there is someone here who wants to talk to you," Grace said as she caught up with him.

"Who?" He asked as they turned the corner, expecting a doctor, a nurse or Red John himself.

"Patrick."

He turned around and looked at the person who just spoke. "Dr. Miller."

Sophie Miller was standing next to Cho and Rigsby in front of Lisbon's room. Jane concluded that one of them must have called her to help. Cho most likely. He walked over to her, "Can you help us?"

"Let's talk," she told him as she placed a hand on his forearm and led him away from the group. They made their way down the hallway into a small private room; he had a feeling Sophie had done some checking to get all of this done. "It was Cho who called you," Jane stated as he took a seat.

She nodded. "Yes, he thought I could be of some help here."

"To me?"

Sophie tilted her head and looked at him concerned. "Do they have a reason to be worried?"

"About me? No," Jane stated emphatically, "I'm taking care of this."

But his former therapist didn't look so convinced. She glanced down at the file in her hand. "You believe she has been hypnotized?"

"Without a doubt," he explained, "She's in a very deep trance, she can function almost normally except when something triggers her response."

"And you are the trigger."

"Yes, she wants to kill me."

"Do you know why?" Sophie asked simply.

"It's what he wants," Jane told her calmly, "Red John knows that she can't actually kill me, she doesn't have the will to. But the very fact that I cannot go near her is the point; he wants to cause me pain. He wants me to have her but not be able to touch her again." Jane looked away now. "He wants me to live with the pain of knowing that the woman I love cannot stand the sight of me."

Sophie was quiet for a long time, more than likely processing his statement. He didn't really care what she thought about him being in love with Lisbon. The only thing he did care was that Sophie might be of some use to him right now.

"This must be very hard on you."

"It isn't a cake walk," Jane agreed.

Sophie leaned forward, studying him. "You need to open up, Patrick. Admit that you are hurting because of this."

"I need to fix this."

"You will," she told him confidently, "But not if you burn out in the process." She reached over and gently gave his hand a small squeeze, "you can talk to me. Tell me what is troubling you the most."

Jane stared at her for a moment, sure and unsure at the same time at the help she was offering. He'd always credited her as the woman who saved his life while Lisbon was the one who saved his soul. Opening up to her was natural, except that this was so personal it was hard to admit what was happening.

He took a deep breath and let it out. "There's a child…she had a baby."

Sophie looked shocked by that statement for a moment and then regained her composure. "Yours?"

"I don't know," Jane admitted leaning back against the seat. "She was gone for eleven months, she gave birth only a few weeks ago. It could be mine…or it could be someone else's, that all depends on what he did to her."

The therapist was still watching him carefully, judging his face. "What do you think, Patrick?"

He was quiet for a bit, looked down at the floor. "I think it's mine. I think Red John wants me to know that he has my child. In this way he'll have taken my family from me again…without spilling a drop of their blood."

"You must be terrified."

"Of course I am," Jane agreed, "But I can't think about that. The _only_ way I will be able to find out where he is and where he has my child is through Lisbon. I have to fix her first."

Sophie nodded. "You must have some plans."

"A few," Jane said, "one that you might be able to help me with."

"I'm happy to."

"Good," he told her, "because she won't open up to me or anyone else on the team. But you are a neutral party, you might be able to keep her calm and focused enough to get her to speak about me."

"What do you think that will provide us?"

"I don't know," Jane admitted, "but if I know what he's altered then I might be able to see how to fix it."

* * *

Lisbon twisted the bits of fabric around in her fingers. She'd torn them from her sheets minutes after being brought into this room. She still didn't know why she was being held here, couldn't come up with any explanation for it. She wasn't crazy, not in the least.

But she did feel comfortable like this; it was familiar in a way that frightened her. She might not understand exactly what is going on but she knew enough that things were very wrong. They must have some reason for locking her up like this but she couldn't figure out why. What was worse was that for some reason she didn't know what she would do with her freedom.

They kept asking her about the last eleven months but for the life of her she couldn't remember a damn thing.

So she sat on her bed and braided pieces of fabric together, it was the only thing that seemed make her feel sane these days. So she threaded the strips of white fabric around each other again and again. What else was she going to do?

The monotony was broken by her door opening. Lisbon looked up to see a woman walk in, petite features and a round face with sandy brown hair. She seemed familiar but Lisbon couldn't place her, a face without a name.

The woman studied her for a moment. "You don't remember me do you?"

"I'm sorry," Lisbon told her softly, "you seem familiar but I…I can't…"

"It's all right," she told her, taking a seat at the table. Lisbon got up from her bed to join her. "My name is Dr. Sophie Miller, I met you once when you worked a case at the university I worked at several years ago."

"Oh," Lisbon said, her mind scrambled to retrieve some memory of that case but it was all jumbled up. That was how it was these days, a lot of her memories were twisted and off. "I'm sorry, I'm having a hard time remembering."

She pursed her lips. "Is that a problem for you right now?"

Lisbon shrugged. "I don't know, I can't remember the past eleven months so…I guess something happened."

"And your other memories?"

She looked away as she considered that question. "It's weird. Some things are clear and others…others are a blur, a mess. I can't really explain it."

"What about your memories of Jane? Are those clear?"

The rush of hatred and anger flooded her system at the mention of his name. Everything else, her doubts, her fears, everything shrank away as soon as Jane came to her attention. Visions danced in front of her, terrible ones that involved making him feel pain. She hated him, hated him more than she'd ever hated anyone in her whole life.

"I don't want to talk about Jane," she hissed out, furious at this woman for bringing him up in the first place.

But Dr. Miller didn't seem fazed. "Why not?"

"Because I hate him."

"There must be a reason for that."

Lisbon jumped to her feet, any way to diffuse this rapid anger. She didn't want to hurt this woman; there was only one person she really wanted to cause pain. "Of course I have a reason, everything he does hurts me."

"Everything?"

"Yes," she retorted, "he gets me into trouble and doesn't give a damn about anybody but himself. He lies, he cheats and he leaves, that's all he does."

"I find it difficult to believe that is _all_ he does," Sophie replied calmly. "You've worked for him for many years, you must have some good memories."

"No."

"Not one?"

Lisbon shook her head. "I can't think of any."

The therapist leaned forward and studied Lisbon carefully, which made Lisbon feel like this woman knew more than she was telling. Lisbon was sure about that when the woman told her. "I was once Patrick's therapist, you knew that."

Lisbon gaped at her and shook her head but the woman continued. "I met you when I called Patrick for help when my ex husband was killed. I saw how you two worked together and it was obvious that he meant a lot to you then."

"You're wrong," she stated firmly.

But Sophie didn't back down. "Why can't you remember that? Doesn't that make you question your anger?"

"No."

"Then how do you explain what everyone else is telling you? How do you account for your missing memories? The gaps that don't belong there?"

Lisbon was faltering, a rush of panic attacked her and suddenly she felt agitated and afraid. "I…I don't know." She could feel something dark building in her stomach and she turned angry eyes to Sophie. "Leave now."

"Agent Lisbon…"

"Get out!"

Sophie nodded and quickly got to her feet and headed out the door. Once she was gone Lisbon grabbed the plastic mug her orange juice had been served in and hurled it against the wall. She reached up and gripped her hair in her hands, tugging a little, enjoying the slight pain. "What's wrong with me?" she muttered quietly to herself. "Someone just tell me what is wrong."

But all she had was silence…it felt like that was all she'd ever had.

* * *

"Her memories are clouded," Sophie told Jane after she rejoined him in the waiting room. "She can't access the memories that remind her of why she cared about you."

"I knew that already," Jane replied, "otherwise she wouldn't be trying to kill me."

"But I think she is more aware of this situation than you might believe," she continued, "beneath the anger and frustration is real fear. She knows that something is wrong but she can't place it. I don't believe he was as successful in completely hypnotizing her as he thought."

"That's helpful," Jane admitted, "But he was successful enough. I still need to find the trigger before she'll ever be herself again or be able to tell me where the baby is."

Sophie nodded somberly, she was aware of the situation they were in and how dangerous this all was. "I'd like to continue seeing her."

"That might not be a good idea," Jane pointed out, "she's very volatile, if something goes wrong she could hurt you."

"She needs a calming presence, someone who doesn't remind her that something is missing," Sophie explained, "since her memories of me are lost at the moment, I can reach out to her."

Jane sighed heavily and gave her a small smile. "I'm grateful for your help."

She smiled back. "We'll get her back, Patrick. I'm sure of it."

He wished he could be so confident.

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The team was back at the bullpen when Jane finally returned. It seemed like a year since he'd been back at the CBI since he'd mostly been living at the hospital. "You look like hell," Cho told him as soon as he walked in. Jane ignored him, the man was undoubtedly right.

"We put out the Amber Alert," Grace said softly as he made his way past her to the couch.

"No point in that," Jane replied, "we don't know anything about the baby to even start looking."

"We have to try."

He shrugged. "Fine then, but I'm just telling you the truth."

Jane stretched out on the couch with an exhausted sigh. He'd been going far too long without sleep, he might be able to test those limits but even his body and mind broke down eventually. He closed his eyes but his mind was still racing with questions, fears and doubts.

"Jane?" Rigsby began, breaking the silence. "How is she?"

He opened his eyes and stared ahead morosely. "She's the same." That was all they truly needed to know.

The silence stretched for seconds and then minutes. Jane didn't care though, he didn't care that they were afraid and upset. He didn't care that they felt helpless. The only things he cared about were locked up in a hospital and caught in a madman's clutches. He had to fix that first and if that meant ignoring the rest of the team then so be it.

The long quiet was interrupted by a ringing phone. It took Jane a moment to realize that it was the phone on his desk.

He was more than a little surprised by that since that phone was largely superfluous. Still Jane stood up and picked up the receiver. "This is Jane."

There was nothing but silence on the line…and heavy breathing. Then…crying.

A baby was gently whimpering, crooning for something being comfort, milk or its mother's breast. The little child's cries were soft and pierced his heart because Jane knew immediately who this was.

Then he heard Red John's laugh.

It only lasted ten more seconds and Jane heard the baby's cries sharpen just before the line went dead.

He stood there for a long time, still keep the receiver pressed to his ear as if willing the call to continue, willing to receive some answers.

"Jane?" Cho asked, all three of them staring at him. "Who was it?"

Jane didn't reply. Then he abruptly slammed the phone down onto the desk, once…twice…three times before the plastic rent open and the wires and chips were visible. He slumped down and rested his head in his hands, still not saying a word.

But the rest of the team saw his shoulders shaking as he cried silently to himself.

* * *

A/N: Whooo poor Jane, we want to give him a big hug! LOL

Well what did you guys think? What is up with Lorelei? Stick around to find out and let us know what you think of this chapter!

Next chapter: As the leads begin to get cold and hope dwindles in the attempts to save Lisbon, a new twist changes everything and it comes from an unlikely source.


	5. In the Darkness There is Hope

Disclaimer: We own absolutely nothing

A/N Nerwen Aldarion: Whoo hoo people seem interested in where this story is going, dark and darker it sometimes seems but you'll have a ray of sunlight at the end. A special thanks for Steele for kicking me in the pants, she always knows just how to make each scene perfect.

A/N Steele Simz: So here is the next chapter. As you wait on the next one feel free to read my finished Red Leaves Of Fall and be on the look out for a new story that I'm currently working on that involves Jane and Lisbon spending the night in jail.

**Anonymous Reviews:**

**Little prince:** People repeat dialogue in real life, it's more authentic to have them say similar things then to constantly find more obscure words to use. Thanks for reading

**me:** Chapter 5 is here, it wanted to meet you too

**Anna:** Hehehe, no they didn't as far as we know but considering Jane has gone to trial for murder, it does make sense that they might have found out about Sophie. Let's just pretend they know LOL

**Vice-Loser:** LOL so glad you liked it, Sophie is seen a few times in this chapter but the ending is the best heheeh

**Anonymous:** Awww thanks so much, we're so glad you liked it!

* * *

Chapter 5: In the Darkness There is Hope

When the team wasn't at the hospital they were working on any leads that would help them find Lisbon's baby however that task seem to be a long line of dead ends. Grace was checking the reports from different law enforcement offices hoping that someone reported finding a baby abandon.

"I feel like I'm not getting anywhere," Grace told Rigsby as she leaned back against the chair.

"Just keep checking we are bound to find him or her sooner or later," Rigsby informed her just as his phone rang. "Hello? Yes, this is he...where...are you sure...yes, thank you we will be right there."

"What is it?" Grace asked as soon as Rigsby hung up the phone.

"There was a baby girl left at a church," he told her as he grabbed his jacket. "The kicker is the baby was left at Lisbon's church."

"Are you sure?" Grace asked as she got to her feet.

"Yes, I'm going over to the hospital to check the baby out," he told her as they made their way to the elevator.

"I'll call Jane and have him meet us, they can do a quick blood test to prove if it is child," Grace stated as she pulled out her phone and dialed Jane's number. "Jane, we may have found her," Grace told him as she informed him where to meet them.

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"Where is she?' Jane asked as he walked through the hospital doors. He was well aware of the significance of a baby being abandoned at Lisbon's church, that kind of poetic touch was just something that Red John would do.

For the first time in days he was allowing himself a smidgen of hope.

"They are checking her out right now," Rigsby informed him as he motioned a nurse over. "You will need to have some blood drawn so they can compare it."

"Sure, whatever they need," Jane stated as he followed the nurse.

"This won't take long," the nurse explained as she had him sit down on a chair as she started to pull out the tools she needed to draw his blood.

"Can I see her?" Jane asked just as the nurse stuck the needle in his arm.

"Let us take this one step at a time, sir."

"How long until you know the results?" Jane asked anxiously.

"Sir, when we know the answers we will tell you," the nurse said as she finished taking his blood and put a bandage on him. "You may go back to the waiting room."

"Thanks," Jane said quietly as he made his way back out to the waiting room. Rigsby and Grace were seated in some chairs already when he met them. Sitting down he dropped his head into his hands.

"What did they say?" Grace asked.

"The nurse said they will let me know when they have answers," Jane voice was muffled from his hands but Grace could hear the hopefulness in his voice. He lifted his head from his hands. "What if it is mine?"

"Then you have a daughter," Grace replied with a smile.

"A daughter," Jane lips tug into a small smile before he sallow deeply as memories came crashing back into his mind. He remembered Charlotte, that beautiful little girl that was stolen from him. It was terrifying to know that he might have something to lose like that again.

"Don't," Grace warned him.

He was a bit surprised by her. "What?"

"Don't think about the past right now, just hope for the future okay?" she placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Yeah, just think you could have daughter that is just as stubborn as the boss is," Rigsby added.

"I can deal with that," Jane answered as he leaned back, he liked that idea very much. "Shouldn't you guys be at the office?"

"Cho is handling things for now and seeing as we are not on a case then we have nowhere else to be," Rigsby stated as he picked a magazine off the table and started to read.

"How long does it take to do a blood test?" Jane asked after a few moments. Patience was not something he had these days.

"As long as it is need, just be patient," Grace replied.

"I'm running out of patience," he told her as he got to his feet.

"Where are you going?"

"For a walk," he told her as he walked away from her.

"But what if the nurse comes looking for you?"

"Have them page me," he waved to her and disappeared down a hallway.

"He is going to the nursery isn't he," Rigsby said without looking up from the magazine.

Grace nodded. "Of course."

"I still can't believe the baby was dropped off at the same church that Lisbon attends," Rigsby stated as he closed the magazine.

"It could be just a coincidence," Grace pointed out.

"Or maybe Red John planned all of this out."

"We won't know anything for sure until the test comes back."

Rigsby nodded and set the magazine down on the table. "I hate hospital waiting rooms," He groaned. "Uncomfortable chairs, the smell of ammonia everywhere."

"That is what you are concerned about right now? How it smells?"

"I'm just saying-"

"Read another magazine," Grace told him, tossing him the three that were on the table in front o them.

"What do you suggest? People or Nature?" Rigsby asked with a smirk. She ignored him, closing her eyes as the heavy weight of exhaustion closed in around her.

Grace had been dozing on and off when a nurse clear her throat to notify them that she was there. "Where is mister Jane?"

"Uhh, he went for a walk," Grace replied as she sat up straighter in her chair, blinking her eyes against the sleep.

"I have the results of the blood test," the nurse explained to them.

"Can you tell us?"

"I rather inform him myself," the nurse said.

"I'll go get him," Grace told the nurse as she got to her feet and headed in the direction that Jane went a few hours ago. Sure enough, Grace found Jane looking into the nursery at the babies with a sad smile on his face. He knew he was wondering if one of them was his. "Jane?" He turned to look at her. "They have the results."

"Where?"

"Back at the nurse's station, let's go," Grace said as she motioned for him to follow her. Jane gave one finally glance at the new babies before following Grace.

"You have the results?" Jane asked as he approached the nurse's station.

"Excuse me?" The woman at the desk asked.

"The blood test," Jane stated anxiously.

"Mister Jane, I have your results," another nurse said from across the room. He gestured him to come over to her.

"What is it?"

There was a bit of a hesitation before she began. "Your blood does not match that of the child's," the nurse informed him.

"Oh, God," Grace said as she watch Jane entire body slump in disappointment. This was the horrifying news that they'd all been dreading. None of them liked the possibility that sprang to mind.

But they had to know.

"What about the other blood test?" Jane asked.

"Other test?"

"Lisbon, is she the mother of that baby?" Jane asked.

The nurse looked down over the paperwork before looking back up at him. "Will you excuse me a moment?" She headed over to the other nurse and started to whispers to her while pointing to the chart in her hand.

"What if it is hers?" Jane asked softly as it dawned on him.

"Then she has a daughter," Grace reminded with reassuring smile, she wanted to focus on the positive.

Jane wasn't.

"No, it means that he took advantage of her," Jane hissed then turned on Grace. "She was gone for 11 months for all we know that baby is hers and _his_."

Grace hated that idea. "Jane, quiet you don't know anything yet."

"This would be the perfect plan of his," Jane snapped.

"Is there a problem here?" The nurse who had the results asked as she returned to them. She noted the tension in the room but the reason for it was lost on her. She didn't know that they were all worried their boss and friend had been forced to bear the child of a monster.

"No, do you have the results?" Grace asked.

"Yes."

"Is the baby hers?" Jane asked.

For several seconds they all waited with baited breath, too afraid to hope.

"No."

"Thank God," Jane whispered as he dropped his head on the desk. It was a terrible thing to be relieved but that was how he felt. The baby wasn't hers…that meant Red John still had it…but it also meant he could still hope.

"Sir, are you okay?" The nurse asked.

"He'll be fine," Rigsby told the nurse as he leaned down to talk to Jane. "Let's go."

"Okay," Jane nodded and followed the two of them out of the hospital. He was numb to the pain again, just exhausted. His child might still be out there, still in the clutches of a mad man. "I'm going to back to see her."

"You want us to drive you?" Rigsby offered.

"No, I'll be fine," he told them as he made his way to his car.

"We shouldn't leave him Wayne," Grace started as she watched Jane walk away.

"Let him be, he has been through a lot recently."

"Which is why we should be there for him," she told him. "What if the baby turns out to be Red John's?"

"Then we deal with it when the times comes, for now we hope," he told her as he opened the car door for her. "Just have hope."

* * *

With the hope that Lisbon's baby was found now gone, Jane had doubled his efforts in an attempt to save Lisbon. He still believed that the best chance of finding the baby was locked away in Lisbon's mind. It was why he wouldn't leave the hospital, the rest of the team didn't even know where he was sleeping…if he was at all.

It had been three days since the baby was abandoned on the steps of the church and nearly a week since Lisbon was found. Some avenues were still being explored but they were all leading to dead ends. No one knew where Lorelei Martins was, where the baby was being held or how to unlock those memories. They hadn't found the trigger yet either and Lisbon still became manically angry anytime she saw, heard or was reminded of Jane.

But only those in the CBI knew that Lisbon had even been found, not even her brothers were aware that their sister was currently being housed in the psych ward of Sacramento General. If anything, Jane was getting even more territorial of Lisbon, insisting that he was the only one who really knew how to get her out of this, the only one who could.

Which was why he told Virgil Minelli that it would be best if he didn't see her.

Minelli had been in contact with the team ever since Lisbon disappeared and Cho had insisted on calling the man after Lisbon was found, despite Jane's protests. This wasn't Jane being cruel though; there were two reasons for why he didn't want Minelli to be involved. The first was technical, Jane knew that there was no point in Minelli seeing Lisbon, he couldn't reach her and it would not help in the attempts to bring her out of her trance.

The second was merciful, Minelli saw Lisbon as the daughter he'd never had, Jane did not want him to see her like this. It would cause the man untold amount of pain and Jane wanted to save him from it.

The rest of the team wasn't so convinced and the longer it took Jane to make progress with Lisbon, the more restless they became. None of them liked keeping secrets, especially from people who cared about Lisbon as much as they did.

Cho approached Jane at the hospital, where else would he be? "Jane, how is she?"

"The same," he replied woodenly, his eyes were bloodshot and his clothes rumpled. He looked worse than he had ever seen him.

"Minelli called again."

Jane just shrugged. "There's nothing new to tell him."

"Her brothers did too," Cho said, "They want to know if there has been any progress with locating her."

"You didn't tell them we found her, did you?" Jane warned, he still was being persistent.

"No, but we can't keep them from the truth much longer, they are her family." Cho gave him a serious look, "They may be able to help."

"What good could possibly come from that?" Jane asked, "They would see their sister locked up. Worse if something sets her off, she'll attack them and when she gets out of this they will all be devastated, Lisbon most of all."

"And when they found out we kept the truth from them?"

"By that time I will have gotten Lisbon out of this so that point will be moot anyways."

Cho didn't look convinced by that at all. "You can't keep everyone from Lisbon indefinitely."

"I'm the only one who can help her."

"You sure about that?"

Jane stared up at the man, shocked to suddenly be doubted on. "You think I'm wrong?"

"Maybe you're too emotionally involved."

"Of course I am," Jane agreed, "that doesn't change the fact that this all boils down to two things. Me and _him_. This is _my_ game, _my_ test, he set this up for _me_ and I have to solve this puzzle. No one else."

Cho studied him for a long time. "You are putting a lot of pressure on yourself."

"Do I have a choice?"

"Yes," he stated, "you can let people help you."

"No one can," Jane reminded him, "Like I said, I'm the only one who can do this."

"And how do expect to help her when you haven't slept in over a week?" Cho asked,

"When is the last time you actually slept?"

Jane didn't say anything, maybe he was trying to recall or maybe he knew that the answer wouldn't make Cho happy.

He was right.

"Go home," Cho told him.

"Is that an order?"

"Yes."

Jane looked amused by that. "You know I never listened to Lisbon's orders."

Cho didn't seem to care about that little fact. "Don't make me force you to leave, it is for your own good."

He sighed. "Fine, I'll get some sleep."

"Not here." Cho knew his thoughts well.

But Jane wasn't giving up. "Cho..."

"I'll take you out of here myself."

Jane looked up at him, his eyes pleading. "I need to be here."

"She needs you at your best." Cho told him softly.

"I can't just got back and try to sleep, I'm needed here," Jane was trying to be persistent.

"Not this second, go home for four hours, get some sleep and start again. Nothing is going to happen between then and now."

Jane sighed again, slumping his shoulders in defeat, knowing that Cho was right. "You will call me if something changes."

"Of course."

"And don't let anyone else into the room."

"All right"

"Promise me you won't allow anyone near her, promise me." Jane said as he stood up and swayed slightly from exhaustion.

Cho put a hand on his shoulder to steady him. "I promise."

Jane nodded his head sadly and looked away. "I need her, " he whispered before walking away from Cho, his shoulders slumped and his head down.

Cho watched him go, barely acknowledging when Rigsby and Grace came up to him. "Is he leaving?" Rigsby asked.

He nodded. "Yes, get Minelli, he can see her now."

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Lisbon was sitting on her bed playing with the ribbons again. Earlier she had walked the pace of the room, it was 20 steps by 35 she'd checked several times. Her meals were prompt; breakfast was at 7:45, lunch at 12:15 and dinner at 6:00. She even knew the people who delievered her meals, Annie and Jeffrey.

No, not Jeffrey. It was Henry.

Sometimes she did that, confused names up in her mind. Henry was Jeffrey, she even had called him by that name the first time he delivered her meals. He'd been nice and corrected her but she still did it. Lisbon didn't like that she kept doing that, it was unsettling.

Like when she woke up in the morning and opened her eyes, surprised to see clean walls. For some reason she always expected darkness.

Then there was the nagging thought that something was missing, something important that she just couldn't reach. Why couldn't she recall things right? Why was she forgetting what she'd been doing three weeks ago…or three months ago? Why was she in this hospital?

Those thoughts troubled her all day and would have continued to if the door opening hadn't interrupted her. She expected to see a nurse, maybe to get her blood again for some odd reason. She was shocked to see her old boss and friend smiling at her sadly from the doorway.

"Virgil? What are you doing here?" She asked, a part of her wanted to run over to him but she was also suspicious. It seemed like everyone who came to see her had an ulterior motive, after all…she was _here_.

"Hello, Lisbon. It's wonderful seeing you again." He stepped into the room and she saw Sophie following a few steps behind him.

Now she was really suspicious. "Why are you here, Virgil?"

"I came to see you."

She wasn't sure how to take that, she could believe Virgil wanted to see her, they had always been close. "What is happening?" Lisbon asked, genuinely concerned, "Why am I here?"

"You know that things are strange right now, but I wanted to talk to you. See if you and I can set things straight."

"As long as you don't mention him."

"We can talk about whatever you want."

"Really?" Lisbon asked skeptical

"Of course."

"Then why don't you tell me about you and May,"

"May and I are doing fine," Minelli took a seat at the table, "We're great. Do you remember how I met her?"

"You were introduce to her by him," Lisbon growl and started pacing the small room.

"Yes, I was.", Minelli stated.

"I thought we agreed not to talk about him?" She hissed

"You brought him up," Minelli pointed out.

"Uhh, well I didn't mean to."

He gave her a careful look. "You two were close even before I left and as I hear it you are even closer now."

"What are you talking about?" she asked, honestly confused

But Minelli was still playing games. "What does your instincts say about him?"

"That the world would be a better place if he was dead." The words slipped from her tongue like a well-rehearsed line. They sounded a little hollow, even to her.

Minelli actually smiled and nodded a little at that. "Well, that is partly true but that isn't what you truly feel."

"You know how I feel?" Lisbon scoffed, she didn't believe him.

"You never did hide your emotions well." Minelli replied.

"Then what are you thinking?" She was getting tired of these games.

Minelli studied her for a long time before finally explaining. "I'm thinking that you have these feelings that you can't explain. You keep waking up expecting to be somewhere else. You know most people but the one person you hate the most you can't find a real reason for your hatred...you just know you are supposed to hate him, while the truth is you feel something deeper for him...such as love."

Lisbon was very quiet as she looked down at the tabletop. She wondered how Minelli knew that she woke up every morning confused, how much she hated the question of why she wanted to hurt Jane. He was right; she didn't know what was going on, she had no idea why she felt this way or what she was doing.

For a brief second all she felt was fear.

But like always she never could break past the barrier that prevented her from being herself. Fresh rage consumed her, all directed at the man in front of her.

"You son of a bitch," she declared, glaring menacingly at Minelli. The poor man looked like he was about to have a heart attack, he was so shocked she'd said that too him. "You're on his side. You're working for him."

Minelli shook his head. "No…no I'm…"

"This is all a trick isn't it? All of this is _his_ fault." Lisbon stood up quickly, grabbing her chair and hurling it across the room.

The door burst open as Sophie and the two orderlies came in but Lisbon backed away, glaring at all of them. "It's all his fault. Everything… Jane is doing this."

"No, Teresa," Sophie said softly.

"You can trust me," Minelli pleaded.

"I can't trust anyone!" She shouted, "You might as well be _him_."

Lisbon made a lunge for Minelli but the two orderlies grabbed her and forced her back down onto the bed. She twisted and fought them, even as she felt the prick of the needle. As she felt the dark fog descended she still muttered. "I hate him…I hate you…I hate…"

All she felt was hatred as she fell asleep.

But she wasn't afraid anymore.

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Jane hadn't been given the opportunity to sleep much. He got the phone call quickly after drifting off but he'd quickly forgotten his exhaustion when he was informed of what had just happened. Then he had quickly rushed to the hospital where the rest of the team and Minelli looked upset…and a little sheepish.

He'd listened to the full story calmly, not interrupting, just letting Minelli and Cho explain everything. Only when the story was ended did he speak…in a tight barely restrained voice. "I told you to let me handle this," Jane reminded Cho.

"It's my fault, Jane," Minelli told him, "I insisted."

But Jane's eyes were focused on Cho, and the promise the man had broken. "Do you realize what has happened?"

"Lisbon flipped out again." Rigsby offered.

Now Jane turned around to glare at him. "No, Rigsby. If it was just that then our problems would be quite simple. Unfortunately, it is a great deal _worse_."

"What are you talking about?"

"Lisbon now associates everyone here with _me_. She thinks I'm behind all of this, now if anyone else walks in there she'll see them as just an accomplice," Jane replied angrily, "now she trusts _no one_. Any chance of getting one of you to talk to her his gone now…now we are very limited on how we can reach her…if that is even possible."

Jane turned back to Cho. "I told you, I'm the only person who can do this. You should have listened to me."

He didn't wait around to hear any apologies or excuses; he left to head for the chapel and to think about this latest failure.

There was no telling what would happen next.

* * *

The team returned to the CBI to lick their wounds after the failure at the hospital. Jane took a bit longer to calm down but there was little point is staying mad at them for long, not when he desperately needed to work with them in an attempt to find Lisbon's missing child.

But the search was interrupted when Bertram came in and asked to speak with Cho privately. Jane knew that it certainly wasn't going to be good, he had a feeling that the man was losing patience.

"Agent it is important that we report this now," Bertram told Cho as the two of them sat in Lisbon's office.

"Sir?" Cho asked unsure exactly what Bertram wanted to report.

"We need to go to the media about the baby."

"Jane will disagree," Cho shook his head.

"Jane isn't capable of making decision at this time," Bertram informed him. Cho remained quiet while he continued. "He is being driven by his emotions."

"His emotions have always driven him," Cho corrected.

He didn't seem to care about that fact. "I'm going to report to the media that Agent Lisbon disappeared and was found, then I will state that we are looking for the baby she had," Bertram told him as he got to his feet.

"If you do that then you mark her and her child for death," Jane said quietly from the door. Neither Bertram nor Cho had heard him approach the office.

"Aren't you supposed to be at the hospital?" Cho asked softly as he looked at Jane over his shoulder.

"Jane, I know you are worried for her but I'm going to the media," Bertram started as he moved past Jane. Jane placed a hand on his arm to stop him.

"Don't do it," Jane growl as he tighten his grip on Bertram arm.

"Are you threatening me?" Bertram asked as he stared at the man in front of him.

"No, that is merely a suggestion," Jane smirked slightly before removing his grip and then slamming Bertram against the closes wall his arm going straight to Bertram neck and holding him there. "Now if you go to the media then I swear I will tell every I know about you and I promise you that your career will be ruin."

"Jane, let him go," Cho pulled on Jane but he refuse to move.

"Now that is a threat," Jane hissed and then removed his arm from Bertram throat. Bertram coughed as he tried to catch his breath.

"You are suspended from here," Bertram gasped.

"You think suspending me will stop me from going to the media myself?" Jane asked. Cho pulled on his arm to get him to move but Jane shrugged him off. By now the entire bullpen was watching the scene unfold.

"You are out of line," Bertram replied as if he was talking to a agent.

"I'm not one of your idiotic agents who will do as you say," Jane snarled.

"If you want to keep your job then I recommend you leave now," Bertram order as he straighten up.

"You think I care about this job?"

"You need this job," Bertram countered.

Jane laughed softly, "You political people are all the same, it is all about image for you."

"Excuse me?"

"Only thing you care about is how this situation will make you look, you couldn't care less about the people around you," Jane snarled as he made a move towards Bertram again.

"You are stepping very close to a line you don't want to be crossing," Bertram informed him.

"And what line would that be?"

"The line in which you will lose all the help from this bureau," Bertram stated firmly.

Jane laughed, a small crazy laugh that proved he didn't find a bit of this funny. "Help? You haven't done a damn thing to find her or to help her."

"We are doing everything in our power to help her."

"You are only helping her when it suits your needs," Jane hissed.

"Leave now," Bertram ordered.

"Or what?"

"Jane!" Grace hissed as she walked into the office. "Please go."

"Listen to your friends," Bertram suggested as he motioned Jane to leave. Jane stood there as if he was debating with himself if he should walk away from the scene or say something else.

"Go check on her," Cho whispered next to him and then placed a hand on his shoulder to move him out of the office.

Jane nodded and made his way to the elevator, he could feel everyone's eyes on him as he walked by them. He knew he was losing control of the situation. As the two of them entered the elevator he leaned against the back of the wall and talked to Cho.

"Why?"

"Why what?" Cho asked as he pressed the button.

"Why did he have to take her?"

Cho looked over at him and sighed, he had no answer for the man standing behind him. For the first time Cho saw a glimpse of what Jane must have been like when he lost his wife and child. Once again he was living a nightmare that seem he would never wake up from.

* * *

It was becoming very disconcerting now that every step forward brought them five steps backwards in breaking Lisbon's trance. Jane knew that as time passed and his own hope faded that he was starting to lose control of himself. That outburst at Bertram had surprised him too, granted he didn't regret it, that bastard deserved to be taken down a peg or two at least once a day.

But Jane didn't care what Bertram did or how upset he was, there were only two things he cared about: the child he may or may not have and the woman who was locked away in the psych ward.

He had a new idea that might be little more than a shot in the dark but with the new complications this might be his last chance. Sophie met him back at the hospital with her soft smile. "Are you sure you want to do this?"

"I don't have a choice."

"She wants to harm you."

Jane shrugged, "It'll be fine."

Lisbon was still lying on the bed in her room, her arms in restraints so Jane knew his safety was assured. She did glare at him but didn't thrash or try to escape, her movements were slow and lethargic. This was good, they had given her a mild sedative as he'd requested.

"What are you doing here, you bastard?" Her voice was soft and sleepy but he could still hear the anger there.

To her dismay he sat down on the edge of her bed, setting a small basket of fresh strawberries on the little table beside her. He smiled gently at her, ignoring the hatred in her gaze and flicked the hair away from her face tenderly. "Close your eyes."

She shook her head but Jane was patient, threading his fingers through her hair, massaging her scalp in a soothing rhythm, coupled with the painkillers she had little choice but to close her eyes and softly drift.

"Good," Jane said softly, reaching over to pick up the basket. "Your mind is empty and blank, like a sheet of white paper. Nothing is bothering you, nothing comes to mind, it's just an empty wasteland." He listened intently at her deep breathing for several seconds, waiting for the right moment to start.

He picked up on ripe berry and held it over her nose. "Breathe it in, that smell."

"Strawberries," she murmured.

Jane smiled. "Yes. Strawberries. Remember your bedroom, late at night after a long dull day at work…"

_ Lisbon lifted an eyebrow when Jane came back upstairs with a bowl of strawberries and whipped cream. "I'm game for a lot of things but I don't want sticky stuff on my sheets."_

_ "This was just supposed to be for a snack," he replied and gave her a sinful look, "Although I might be hungry for something else now."_

_ She laughed and reached for the bowl while tugging him down on to the bed again. "Already wanting seconds?"_

_ He leaned in and kissed her passionately. "Always."_

_ "Mmmm, too bad I'm starving for real food," Lisbon smiled against his lips before reaching for a strawberry._

_ But Jane batted her hand away, a sensual look in his eyes. _

Jane slipped the piece of fruit between her lips and Lisbon instinctively bit down and took a bite out of the strawberry. A little bit of juice ran down her chin and Jane swallowed heavily, the memories were potent for him and that was far too close to how it had been all those months ago.

"The taste, focus on that."

_ He put the berry to her lips and Lisbon opened her mouth, her tongue touching the tip of his fingers before she took a bite out of the fruit. A dribble of juice slid down her chin and Jane couldn't resist leaning over to lick it off._

_ She giggled, turning her head to kiss him again. "Aren't you hungry?"_

_ "Yes," Jane said. She gasped as she felt the cool texture of the berry on her chin; he dragged the fruit over her throat towards her chest, leaving a sweet trail. "And I plan to eat my fill."_

_ He leaned down to taste her strawberry sweetened skin and she moaned at the sensual feeling of his lips on her throat. She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him down on top of her, skin on skin. Lisbon pulled him closer, trying to get him to hurry things along._

_ Jane just chuckled. "Oh no, my dear, I plan to savor you."_

Lisbon's eyes were fluttering beneath her lids as she chewed on the fruit. Jane took the opportunity to trail his fingertips over her cheek and down the hollow of her throat. She didn't fight him but he did hear the sharpening of her breath, he could feel her pulse quicken.

He hoped she was remembering his lips making the same trail. Followed by several minutes of sensual torture and then their passionate joining. He wanted her to remember that, to associate the taste of the strawberries with the most important moment of their short relationship.

"Remember," he whispered, leaning closer to her, "remember what happened next?"

_ Their breathing was short and heavy as they both climbed down from their passionate high. He was still on top of her, still inside of her, staring into her eyes. She smiled up at him, running her fingertips over the damp skin of his back. He saw a dreamy look in her eyes, the sign of pure happiness._

_ "I love you."_

_ The word slipped from her lips without another thought. But as soon as she heard them she wished she could take them back. He looked just as surprised as she did and Lisbon quickly tried to do some damage control._

_ "Oh God, I'm sorry. I…I didn't mean that, it was stupid. Can we just pretend that—?"_

_ Jane shut her up by kissing her._

_ She couldn't help but kiss him back; wrapping her arms around her neck again and feeling some of the tension leave her. If he was kissing her then he couldn't be scared right? He finally pulled back, breaking the kiss trace her lip with his thumb. "I love you," he told her softly and this time he truly meant it._

_ Lisbon smiled up at him, knowing that this was a perfect moment. Nothing could break this._

_ Nothing._

Like he did all of those months ago, Jane traced her bottom lip with his thumb. He wanted to kiss it but resisted that urge. Instead repeating the words he'd always meant.

"I love you."

She was completely still at his words and Jane felt his heart hammering in his chest. Maybe it was working. If he could just trigger one memory, just one…then he could truly hope to save her.

Lisbon opened her eyes to stare up at him, just looking into his gaze with a blank expression. For once he had no idea what she was thinking.

"You lying son of a bitch."

Jane's heart sank when the hatred crept back into her green eyes but he still protest. "No, Lisbon."

"I don't know what game you are playing, Jane but stop it now."

"This isn't a game."

"Bull shit, all you do is play games. It's pathetic," she hissed up at him. "You think that I'll believe you love me? Or that I love you? It's ridiculous. You lie to me, you run away, you hurt me…and I'm supposed to believe this? You're con artist, Jane. You twist people around to suit your own needs, me most of all. It's all you are, all you will ever be. And I know that there is no chance in hell that I could ever love someone like _you_."

Jane jerked away from her as if he'd been bitten but her words were far more painful than any physical blow she could have dealt. She glared at him menacingly; no guilt or shame in her eyes whatsoever. For a second all he did was stare at her, searching for any shred of the woman that he'd known and love for nearly a decade.

And saw nothing.

He slowly walked out of the room, despair filling his whole frame. Sophie was waiting just outside and she saw the agony on his face. "Patrick…"

But Jane barely listened, just continued walked away for a few steps before turning to face the wall. He slapped it with his hand a couple of times, letting his sadness and pain out as he felt he tears slide down his cheeks.

"I can't do it," he whispered softly, "I can't save her."

* * *

She could hear the sound of a baby crying behind the door. She was feeling helpless for not being able to walk into the room and pull the baby out of his arms. It had been hard time since he had allowed the mother go and now she was having doubts if they could keep up this charade of theirs.

"Lorelei," she heard Red John summon her through the door. Taking a deep breath she opened the door and walked in.

"Yes."

"Take care of the child," he said as he placed the baby in her hands."

"He needs his mother," Lorelei stated as she held the child in her arms.

"You will suffice for the time being," he told her as he watch the two of them. "This child will be the second coming."

"Second coming?" she asked as she took a seat in the rocking chair. The baby wasn't fussing as much as she started to rock back and forth.

"I have a feeling that Patrick will figure out the trigger sooner or later and when that times comes I will still have the upper hand," he smiled as he leaned back against the wall.

"If you wanted the upper hand so badly why not kill Lisbon and keep the child, he wouldn't have ever known," Lorelei asked as she caressed the baby's cheek softly with her fingers.

"Because there is nothing worse than not knowing. He knows that there is a child out there and most likely he believes it is his. He will now do anything to stop history from repeating itself," he informed her.

"And what if he can't succeed?"

"Hold your tongue, dear," he snapped as he moved away from the door. "I know Patrick better than anyone including his current lover."

"This is wrong," Lorelei countered as she pulled the baby closer to her.

"This is perfect in so many ways. Having Lisbon was like having cake while the baby itself is the icing on it," he explained as he bent down and kissed the baby's head. "You are going to be famous, my son."

"I think he needs to be changed," Lorelei told him as she tried to hide the disgust in her voice.

"Then do it, after that put him in bed and join me in the dinning room," he ordered as he smiled at her before walking away from her.

Lorelei stared down at the baby in her arms who looked up at her with curious big eyes. Those eyes, she knew those eyes and that smile. He was definitely a combination of both his parents and she could only predict that he would be a heart breaker when he got older. She couldn't allow this beautiful baby grow up being something that he isn't. He deserved loved and she was certain that Red John wouldn't give him the loved he deserved. Getting to her feet she placed the baby softly on the bed before packing up some necessities into a black bag. Reaching back down she picked up the baby and brought him closer to her shoulder.

"I swear you will be with your parents," she whispered before taking the baby out of the room and down the hallway.

Most of Red John's follower's were eating dinner with their master so she hadn't met anyone until she exited the house and was greeted by an armed man.

"Where are you going?" He asked as he took in her appearance.

"I'm taking the baby for a walk, it will help to calm him before his nap," she replied to the guard.

"What is with the bag?" He asked.

"You never know when you may need to change a baby or feed it," she explained.

"Does he know about this?" The guard asked as he gestured to the house.

"Of course, do you really think I would do anything without the permission of our master?" She countered.

"No."

"Then you will forgive for not staying longer to chat," she moved past him and started down the path hold the baby in her arms. She knew he was watching so she waited for a while pretending to act as if she was trying to get the baby to sleep.

"Kyle?" A voice from inside the house yelled for the guard and she knew this was her only chance. Pulling the baby closer she made a run into the trees and headed down a path that lead to a backup truck that was supposed to be for emergency only. She would need to get to the truck then get on the road before the guard realized that she was gone from the place. Then she would need to drive all night to get away before he sent anyone after her. She made it to the truck in record time, she wrenched open the door and placed the baby inside, then she ran to the other side and jumped into the driver's seat. The baby had been quiet during the run but now he was starting to scream.

"It is going to be okay, trust me," she told him as she reached under the car and started to play around with the wires. She finally got the spark and heard the car roar to life. Placing the car into drive she pulled out of the hiding spot.

"I'm taking you to your father," she whispered to the child as she pulled onto the main road and made her way back to Sacramento.

So far she hadn't seen any signs of anyone following her when she pulled into the motel parking lot the next morning. Holding the baby in her arms she went to the main office and asked for the room that belonged to Patrick Jane. After a little flirting the kid gave her the number, she then asked for her own room and handed over the rest of the cash she had on her. She knew Jane would be with Lisbon so he wouldn't be back until nighttime and that was because the people at the hospital kicked him out. So she was forced to wait until the sun fell.

As day turned to night she kept an eye out for his car and when he finally pulled into a parking spot she was able to watch him. The months had not been kind to him; he looked tired, and had lost weight since she had last seen him. He also looked like a man who had suffered a loss that was so terrible you weren't sure he would recover from it. When he disappeared from view she gathered up the baby's stuff before grabbing the baby into her arms.

"Are you ready to see daddy?" She asked and the baby cooed at her with a smile on his little face. She nodded and bent down to give the baby a kiss before walking out of the room and down to where Jane was staying. She raised her hand and knocked on the door.

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

Jane was lying down on the bed in his cheap motel room looking up at the ceiling. He was failing; there was no other way to describe what was happening. Lisbon was completely lost to him and he had no other ideas on how to bring her back. Worse, he had no way of finding the child she'd had…the one he didn't know was his.

He hoped, oh how he hoped that it was his child. But Jane knew that almost made it worse, Red John had his child and he didn't know how to save it.

He had failed his first family…now he was failing his second.

His thoughts were interrupted by a knock on the door. He got to his feet and walked over to the door.

"Who is it?"

"Patrick, open the door." Lorelei voiced was filled with desperation.

Jane opened the door quickly. "Lorelei, what are you-" He trailed off as he noticed that she was holding a baby in her arms. He stared at the child in complete shock. Was that his…?

"Let me in, please." She begged as she looked around quickly. Jane moved aside robotically and allowed her into the room.

"What are you doing here?" He asked as he closed the door.

"I'm bringing you your son." She told him as she handed him his child.

"My son." Jane gasped as he looked down at the baby that was starting fuss in his arms. He couldn't even comprehend the words at this point. "But…"

"I can't stay long." Lorelei told him as she dropped off the black bag onto the bed. "He is going to be furious when he find out that I took the kid."

"Red John?" Jane asked as his eyes focused on his son. "But why?"

"I don't have time to explain why. The only thing you need to know is that the child is yours and Lisbon's." Lorelei said as she started for door.

"Wait." Jane begged, starting after her.

Lorelei turned around to look at both of them. "He is beautiful." She told him softly, smiling gently as she looked down at the child once more.

Jane shook his head. "Why are you doing this?"

"Because he deserves to be with his parents and grow up knowing what true love is." Lorelei told him before she bent down and kissed the child softly on the forehead.

"I can protect you." Jane told her as she backed away.

"No, you can't." She smiled sweetly at him and went to open the door. "You were given a second chance, don't mess it up."

"Wait, please." Jane pleaded again with her. "What is his name?"

"Only the mother knows his name." Lorelei told him as she walked out the door and sprinted down the steps leading away from his room. Jane closed the door and looked back down at his son who was starting to fall asleep in his arms. He gently played with one tiny hand, his son's palm instinctively curved around his finger. His hair was dark brown like his mother, a perfect bud of a nose and pink lips. He snuffled softly and turned his head against his father's chest.

"We have a son." He whispered to himself. "My son."

* * *

A/N: Hey! We can't make Jane so depressed forever right? He has his son! YAY!

In the next chapter you'll see Jane settling into his new role of a father nicely but what happens when he brings his son to meet his mother? You'll have to wait and find out ;-)


	6. A Father's Love

Disclaimer: We own nothing

A/N Nerwen Aldarion: Whoo this chapter came out sooner than I thought and it's quite fluffy for this fic LOL. Everyone is excited to see Jane as a daddy with his son and now you'll get your chance!

A/N Steele Simz: Another new chapter and this might be one of my favorite chapters so far. So enjoy reading it and feel free to leave a review because we truly appreciate them. Also please check out my newest story Red Cell Block.

**Anonymous Reviews:**

**Anonymous:** Wow that's quite a compliment! Thanks!

**Vice-Loser:** This has been fun because of how intense it is, we love being evil hehehe

**idonthaveaname:** We think you are wrong about that, because if you watch the show well they have hinted quite a bit that JAne and Lisbon are going to get together. Thanks for reading

**Anonymous:** We did our best, here it is

**Anonymous:** Hehehe good, it was fun. Steele did an AMAZING job with it.

* * *

Chapter 6: A Father's Love

Things were busy in the bullpen as the team still scrambled to find Red John and Lisbon's missing child. The unfortunate truth was that they had no idea where to look at this point as the leads were going cold. But they did have an Amber Alert out for the missing baby…but with no description and no idea to the child's gender, they weren't holding out much hope.

But these last few weeks had told them all one thing: nothing was unexpected.

At least that was what they thought until Jane strolled into the bullpen with a baby in his arms.

"What is that?" Risby asked, not even thinking about the question.

"My son," Jane replied simply. He was smiling now, actually smiling, the first time he'd smiled in about eleven months as a matter of fact. He ignored their stares as he made his way over to his couch. He set down a black bag that had diapers, formula, bottles and half of the baby aisle of the store inside of it before taking his place on the sofa, still holding the child.

The three of them finally shook themselves out of their stupor and walked over to the couch to look at the child in his arms. "How did you find…him?"

Jane tore his eyes away from his son and met their gaze. "Lorelei found me and gave him to me."

"Lorelei Martins?"

He ignored the ridiculous question. "She took him from Red John, she didn't want anything to happen to him."

The baby let out a small gasp and Jane looked back down at his child, smiling softly before leaning down and kissing him. "Are you sure he's yours?" Rigsby said.

Jane nodded. "Lorelei told me he was, I have no reason to doubt her. Not that she needed to tell me," Jane said with a grin, "I knew the moment I saw him."

"He looks nothing like you," Cho told him dryly.

Jane's smile grew and he shook his head. "He looks like his mother, but look at those hands," he lifted one of the baby's little hands with his finger, "those are mine." Jane traced one shell of an ear with his fingertips, "Those ears are mine. And when you see him smile…you'll see his smile is mine."

Grace leaned down to touch the back of his hand. "He's beautiful," she said softly.

He nodded still looking down at his son. "He has his mother's eyes." The baby blinked said eyes up at his father, reaching up with one hand towards his father's face.

"Where's Lorelei?" Cho asked, getting down to business.

"I don't know," Jane admitted, "she just gave me my son and left. She isn't safe though, Red John will be after her for this."

"You should have let us take her into custody."

"She wasn't about to let that happen," Jane replied, "and we can't help her if she doesn't want it." He looked down at his son again. "This is more important."

The three teammates smiled down at the father and son and Cho simply shook his head. "I'll cancel the Amber Alert," he said before taking a few steps away to call up dispatch and do just that.

"You should have him checked out," Rigsby told him, "make sure everything is all right."

"He's perfect," Jane replied, leaning down to kiss his son's head.

Grace smiled happily at him. "What's his name?"

"I don't know, Lorelei said that only Lisbon knows," Jane told her, his voice now slightly sad at the reminder that Lisbon was in a state where she couldn't tell them their child's name. She didn't even remember that she had a child.

"You have to name him something," Grace pointed out, "what about Daniel?"

Jane shook his head. "No, his name is the one his mother gave him. I'll find it out."

"What will you call him until then?" Rigsby asked. He shrugged in reply, too captivated by the baby to mind that he only called his son 'the baby'. "Hey, you should call him JJ."

"What?"

"JJ."

"You want to name the kid after La Roche?" Cho asked, joining the conversation.

"No," Rigsby said, giving Cho an annoyed look. "It's short for Jane Junior."

That made Jane smile but Cho shook his head. "Jane Junior? Give the kid a chance."

"Oh both of you stop," Grace said waving them off. "JJ is silly, he needs a real name."

"I don't know," Jane piped in, adjusting the baby in his arms. "JJ isn't bad at all."

Rigsby grinned in triumph. "Yes!" he pumped one fist in the air in triumph.

"Lisbon is going to kill you when she finds out what you named the kid," Cho said, "Jane Junior?"

Jane just shrugged. "It's only temporary."

"Right," Cho replied, obviously not believing that one.

JJ let out a sharp cry then and began to squirm. Jane grinned and reached into the bag to pull out a bottle of formula. "It's okay, JJ," Jane said teasing the bottle to his lips, "Daddy's got you covered."

The baby greedily began to suck down the formula, flicking his eyes up at his father with happiness. For several long moments Jane just enjoyed this feeling, of feeding and loving his son. This was a perfect moment.

Well…almost.

"What are you going to do now?" Grace asked softly.

He met her eyes with a serious gaze. "I'm going to take JJ to see his mother, see if that will get her to remember."

"And if it doesn't?"

"Then I'll keep trying," Jane said firmly. "JJ is going to have his mother in his life, I swear it."

* * *

Jane had renewed confidence as he walked down the hallway with his son in his arms. He didn't know if this plan would work but it had a better shot than any of his previous attempts. JJ gave him new hope that things would work out, that he would save this.

He was still on his way when he noticed that Minelli was sitting in one of the waiting chairs.

"Virgil?" He asked, as he got closer. Minelli got to his feet and stared with awe at Jane holding the child in his arms. JJ was content in his father's arms as his eyes drifted to the older man.

"Is that-?"

"Our son," Jane said, he smiled with a fatherly pride.

Minelli was still gaping at the man and child. "Where did you find him?"

"Lorelei dropped him off to me last night." Jane explained, "She has no idea what his name is, she only knows that he belongs to me and Lisbon, but JJ is my son."

"JJ? Please tell me you didn't name the child after you."

Jane had to give Minelli credit for figuring out what the initials stood for. "Only until I know what his true name is."

"And the only person that knows that is-"

"The one person who refuses to believe anything I say," Jane finished for him. He looked down at his son and then gave Minelli a warm smile. "Want to hold him?"

Minelli looked at the baby a little reluctantly, but with longing. "Uh, I'm not sure if I-"

"She would want you to hold him, seeing as you are his godfather," Jane smiled and softly handed JJ over to Minelli.

He accepted the baby, smiling into his face and toying with his fingers. Then Jane's words sank in. "Godfather?"

"Well, I haven't told Lisbon that you are, but I'm sure she won't have any objections to you being the godfather," Jane smirked just as J.J turned his head to look as his father. He lifted his hand and JJ instinctively reached out to grab one of his father's fingers.

"He looks like his mother," Minelli pointed out. "Except he has your smile."

"He is also stubborn like his mother but he sleeps anywhere you put him," Jane told him.

"Which he takes from you," Minelli finished and rocked JJ so within seconds his eyelids started to drift shut at the movement. Minelli sat back down in the seat he had been in before Jane spoke again.

"Why are you here anyhow?" Jane asked.

"To apologize for what happened."

"There is no need, I was wrong," Jane admitted.

"No, you were a man in love who just wanted what his heart wants."

"I'm hoping he is the trigger," Jane told him as he motioned to JJ "Maybe if she sees him she will remember."

"And if she doesn't?"

Jane was serious as he said. "He deserves his mother."

"I still can't believe it," Minelli stated as he was looking down at a sleeping JJ in his arms.

"What?"

"That you are the father of this beautiful child. I knew someday that Lisbon would end up being a mother but I never expected-"

"For me to be the father," Jane finished his sentence for him.

"It was meant to be," Minelli told him as he softly handed JJ back to his father. Jane smiled and pulled his son closer to his chest.

"She saved me, he is my second chance at something that I thought I had lost a long time ago."

"Which is?"

"Love."

Minelli nodded before getting to his feet. "Whatever happens in there just remember that she still loves you...somewhere inside she knows that."

"I will," Jane got to his feet also and gave Minelli a quick nod before walking away. Jane pulled his child even closer to him before walking over to Lisbon door. "Let's us hope you do the trick JJ."

* * *

Lisbon was sitting calmly on her bed, still playing with her ribbons when Jane opened the door to her room and walked inside. He took a calculated risk going in without her being restrained but he wanted to see her reaction to their son.

She immediate jumped to her feet with a look of pure rage, as if she wanted to rip the skin from his bones. But then she stopped in her tracks and gaped at him. "What is that?"

Jane kept his eyes on her while he gently bounced JJ in his arms. "Our son."

She crossed her arms over her chest and leveled her gaze with him. "We don't have a son. _I_ don't have a son."

"Yes, we do," Jane stated and took a few steps closer to her. "Lisbon, this is our child.

"This is crazy, Jane! How can we have a child together? I hate you!"

"No, you don't. Not really," he told her calmly, "you love me…and you love our son. You do, he just won't let you feel it."

"Who won't let me feel what?"

"Red John. He has you hypnotized—." Lisbon laughed light and shook her head but Jane continued; "He has you hypnotized into believing that you hate me, into forgetting what we had."

Lisbon looked a little amused and smug. "It is always Red John isn't it, you just can't be wrong, can you?"

"This is not about my obsession."

"Yes, it is." She told him harshly, "This is exactly why I don't trust you. The only thing that ever matters to you is your obsession."

"The only thing that matters to me now is you and our child." Jane said honestly.

She shook her head. "I never mattered to you and that kid is not our son. I would never have a child with you."

"He is our son. You are his mother," Jane replied, he gestured the baby in his arms. "He looks just like you."

"I don't know what child you stole to prove your point but I am not the mother of that child."

"Lisbon, look at him."

"No!"

JJ started fussing then, the shouting match his parents were engaged in made him very upset. Jane pulled his son close to his chest. "Shhh, it's okay, everything is just fine," he whispered to his son. Lisbon frowned, obviously she felt a little bad that she was cause for the baby's cries, even if she still didn't believe this was her child. Eventually JJ began to calm down.

"Please, just look at him. Just one look."

She shook her head, taking a step back. "I won't be conned into whatever sick game you are playing."

"This is not a game. This is our child, if you would just look at him you would see that."

Lisbon stared at him for a long moment, nothing but defiance in her gaze. "And if I look at him then what do you hope to prove?"

"For you to come out of this and see the truth."

"The truth?" Lisbon laughed at him. "The only truth is that you want me to see this 'supposed' child of ours and the moment I do you would try to trick me into doing something I don't want to do."

Jane shook his head; this was not going the way he'd hoped at all. "Lisbon, this is our son. Lorelei brought him to me."

"Oh it's Lorelei's child." Lisbon said, as if she was actually coming to a realization. "You and Lorelei had a baby."

Where in the world had she gotten _that_ idea? "I didn't have a child with Lorelei, I had a child with you."

"We didn't have a child together," She was frustrated. "This is the most ridiculous argument I've ever had!"

Jane was quiet for a long time, his son let out a little sigh and Jane looked down to see his little baby closing his eyes, as if ready to go back to sleep. He looked back up and met Lisbon's gaze. "JJ is our son."

"JJ?"

Jane shrugged. "Well, Jane Junior for now unless you want to tell me his true name."

"Shut up."

He was startled by her very harsh reaction. Jane saw as she backed away, suddenly looked paranoid. "What?"

"Just stop it!" Lisbon hissed, her body twitched like she needed to escape.

Like she was suddenly afraid.

Jane studied her, carefully testing the waters. "Lorelei said you knew his real name."

"Get out of here!"

"His name...you are reacting to that...you want me to leave." Jane said evenly, every time he said the word 'name' she flinched.

"I hate you."

Now Jane smiled as the truth dawned on him. "JJ isn't the trigger...it's his name." He had to shake his head at the beauty of this plan. "Oh that's perfect, it's brilliant. The trigger is the one thing only you know." He looked at her carefully, making a promise. "But I'll figure it out. I know you well enough, I will figure out what you named our son and you will get out of this. We will be a family, Teresa. You, me, and our son."

Lisbon just glared at him menacingly. "Leave now!"

"I'm leaving...but I'll be back." Jane said walking out the door, he smile in the doorway. "With his name."

He heard her throw something but he'd already closed the door before it could hit him. Jane smiled down at his son, while he hadn't gotten what he'd hoped for, real progress had been made. "I'll fix this, I promise you," He whispered to his son, "You'll have your mother. I swear it."

* * *

Jane was holding JJ as he waited for the formula to warm up so he could feed his son. After seeing Lisbon he had gone straight back to the CBI to tell the team the news but his son had started to cry halfway through the drive which meant one of two things. Either he needed to be changed or fed and in this case he needed to be fed.

"Always hungry aren't you," Jane smiled down at JJ as he waited. After arriving earlier in the day at the CBI with only a black bag the team had asked around for stuff to help with the child until Jane had the time to go to the store to get the rest of the items he needed. Thankfully a couple of the woman in the CBI had the items he was looking for. Placing JJ down in the infant car seat he had borrowed he grabbed the milk bottle and placed it to his son lips. JJ turned his head away from it.

"Aww, come on, I promise you it is good," Jane told him with a smile, JJ focused on his father and Jane could have sworn that he was giving him the skeptical look that Lisbon always gave him when she didn't believe him. "Trust me, JJ."

This time JJ latched onto the nipple and began to drink his lunch. Jane just smiled and held the bottle as he watched his son eat happily. The smile faded as his thoughts went back to Lisbon who should be here to feed their son.

"You know your mother is fond of bear claws, I wonder if you will be too." Jane crooked his head and continued to watch his son. "Then again she is addicted to coffee which is just not normal for anyone, I suggest tea when you get older, does wonder for your stress level and there are so many varieties."

"Feeding time, I see," Rigsby said as he entered the kitchen and headed to the fridge for a bottle of water.

"Yeah," Jane acknowledged as he pulled over a chair with his free hand and sat down.

"How did it go?" Rigbsy asked after taking a sip of water.

"I know the trigger," Jane told him as he titled the bottle a little more for JJ.

"What is it?" Rigsby asked shocked.

"His name," Jane motioned to JJ with his free hand. "She started to panic out when I said JJ and then got defensive when I bought up the subject of what his name could be."

"Are you sure it is the trigger, seems kind of obvious."

"Yes, and yes it is obvious but the only way to get the answer is to know what the name is and that might be impossible considering Lisbon could have named him anything."

"Got any ideas?"

"Several but I don't want to just start spurting out names," Jane said as he pulled the bottle away from JJ and got to his feet, he picked up JJ and the burp rag then placed JJ against his shoulder and patted his back until JJ gave a small burp.

"Your a natural with him," Rigsby stated was he watch Jane handled his son with ease.

"We need to talk with the team, can you grab the car seat?" Jane asked as he lower JJ a little and started into the bullpen, Rigsby followed him closely with car seat in hand.

"Grace, I need your help," Jane told her as he entered the bullpen.

"With what?"

"I need to go shopping to get everything for JJ and I want your advice on what I should buy," he told her as he stopped by her desk.

"Are you sure you don't want to take Rigsby?" She asked softly, considering she had no children of her own she wasn't sure she was the perfect person to go shopping with Jane.

"I want you to go with me," Jane told her truthfully.

"Okay, just tell me when."

"Soon, we also need to pick up a book of baby names," Jane informed her.

"Why?" Cho asked as he looked over at them.

"That is the trigger according to Jane," Rigsby stated as he took a seat at his desk.

Cho studied Jane for a moment before speaking "Are you sure?"

"Of course, it is the most simple trigger," Jane stated as he bounce JJ a little, who then gave his father a little smile.

"What about her brothers?" Cho asked suddenly. "They deserve to know about the child and their sister."

"No," Jane shook his head.

"Jane, you can't keep this away from them," Grace reminded him as she got to her feet.

"My son, my decision."

"Lisbon isn't going to like that."

"Lisbon isn't herself and until she is I will be making the decisions that I feel is best for my son."

"Are you ready to go?" Grace asked as she grabbed her stuff from the desk.

"Yes," Jane placed JJ back and the car seat and buckled him up. "We are going to go shopping for everything we need, what do you think of that?" JJ cooed at his father and raised his small hand to wrap it around one of Jane's fingers. "Good boy." Jane smiled and picked up the car seat and motion Grace to join him as he walked to the elevators. He was well aware of the looks he had been receiving all day but at this moment he couldn't care less, all that matter was JJ and Lisbon.

"What kind of theme do you want for the nursery?" Grace asked as she pressed the elevator button.

"Circus, I think that would be perfect for him," Jane smiled at her just as the elevator door opened to reveal Bertram.

"Jane?" He asked as he eyes focused on JJ,

"Gale I would love to stay around and chat but my son needs several items and it is important that I get them now rather than later," Jane told Bertram as he moved past him and into the elevator.

"Your son?" Bertram turned around and asked shocked.

"Mine, and Lisbon's," Jane responded just as the doors closed. Grace did not tried to hide the smile on her face as Jane looked down at JJ with a huge grin on his face.

* * *

The nearest _Babies R Us_ was surprisingly busy for a weekday; apparently the mother's did their shopping on Wednesdays here. No one paid Grace and him any notice, probably assuming that they were just another couple shopping for their newborn. Little did they know the complications that surrounded them.

"What do you need?" Grace asked, grabbing a shopping cart.

"Everything," Jane replied, putting JJ's carrier on top of the cart. JJ was fascinated by the little cow dangling from the handle. "But first we should start with the essentials, bottles, cloths, a travel crib, car seat and clothes." He saw the way her eyes lit up on the last word and he knew he'd made the right decision in bringing her along.

The first thing Jane found was the travel crib, the blue crib was folded up to the size of a briefcase and just what he needed to have JJ sleep in while everything was so chaotic. Then Jane looked down the feeding aisle to get bottles, formula and everything else that he needed.

"Is his name really the trigger?" Grace asked as she looked over a little tiger shaped sippy cup.

"Yes," Jane told her honestly.

"How will you figure it out?"

Jane met her eyes. "I know Lisbon better than anyone, I can already list a dozen names she might have named our son. I just need to figure out if it is just his first name or his full name and then when I push the right button she'll be back, exactly how she should be."

Grace smiled and reached over to tug on JJ's little foot. "I can't believe she didn't see that he is her son. They look so much alike, he couldn't be anyone else's child."

He shook his head. "She can see it and a part of her really does know that this is her son, but there is a wall preventing her from fully recognizing this."

Jane reached over to trace one of JJ's cheeks with his fingertip. "But she knows…she loves him." He met Grace's eyes. "Remember when you were in there with her, she kept saying 'I want him back'."

"She was talking about JJ," Grace realized.

He nodded. "She must have been reliving a time shortly after he was born…after they took him away from her."

"Oh God," Grace gasped, "I can't imagine that pain."

Jane could, he knew what it was like to lose a child, and to have it ripped from his arms. The only balm in this case was that JJ's life hadn't been taken, Lisbon must have known that. Then again, she knew that Red John had plans for JJ, that thought must have been terrifying too.

"Do you think he was born in that basement?"

"Probably," Jane said, he hated that idea but it was impossible to stop thinking about. He could imagine it, every horrifying moment of Lisbon lying alone and terrified, giving birth in captivity.

Things were good and they were going to get better but none of that erased the pain and terror that they had all gone through. It helped though, it helped a lot.

He turned away and smiled at Grace. "Why don't you go do what you have been dying to since we walked in here?"

"What?"

Jane grinned. "Go pick out some clothes for JJ, I don't think what he already has will last much longer."

Grace lit up like a Christmas tree. "Sure!" He laughed as she hurried off to go straight to the little boy's section. He knew without a doubt that he'd find her arms laden with different outfits in about ten minutes. He just would have to veto the ridiculous ones. Jane turned his attention back to his son who gurgled and waved his little hand, batting at the dangling cow, his big green eyes watched it sway hypnotically.

"Don't worry," Jane told him, "I won't let your aunt dress you up as a fireman or a sailor, I draw the line at costumes."

He steered his son through the aisles, picking out a few more necessities like variety of burp cloths and nappies before diving into the fun stuff: toys. Jane's decision for a circus theme was going to be popular with Lisbon, he was sure about it. And if he was wrong, one look at the little stuffed tiger would win her over.

Tigers, lions and elephants, anything with that combination went into the basket, except for the stuffed lion, that went into JJ's hand and the tail into his mouth. "You really are my son," Jane said proudly, "already taking to the circus. When your older I'll tell you a few stories about the carnival, including several with Rosie the elephant."

JJ just chewed on the lion's tail but his eyes were fixed on his father, as if he really was listening to every word.

He found the perfect blanket with lions on it that matched the one JJ was enjoying. Jane surveyed the damage they had done. "All right, I think we've got everything that we desperately need, your mother and I will pick out more stuff together when we decorate your room. Now let's go see what Aunt Grace has picked out for you."

Jane found his friend in the middle of the clothes section and just as he'd predicted, she had dozens of outfits draped over her arm. "Oh, Jane!" she exclaimed rushing over to him, "You have to see the cute stuff I picked out."

Grace held up one jumper that had Elmo and Big Bird on it. "Isn't this precious?"

It was cute, not nearly as ridiculous as Jane feared but this was only the first outfit. In one glance he saw more than one costume that was going to have to go. "And look at these."

He shook his head. "Nothing that would be suitable for Halloween."

"But the construction hat is cute!"

"JJ isn't going to be building any houses anytime soon." Grace made little whimpering sounds of indignation as Jane pulled out a fireman's outfit and a cowboy costume and put them asides. "Now what else do you have?"

She pouted but she showed him some cute novelty onesies and sleepers, practical outfits in blues and greens that would be perfect for any day of the week. "You have to like this one," Grace declared, "I'm not letting you put this one away."

Grace showed him a little charcoal grey pant and vest outfit with a whit shirt and light gray tie. "If we leave off the tie then it's just like yours!"

"You want him to match me?"

"It would be so adorable to have him dress up just like his Daddy."

He lightly touched the vest, considering the outfit. "I'd rather him take after his mother."

"You hush," Grace snapped, keeping the suit in her hands. "_I'll_ buy it for him then."

Jane laughed. "Fine, he can have it. We'll see how long it takes until he spits up on it."

She giggled then and put her load of clothes into the cart. "I'm putting him in the onesie with the trains on it today."

He shook his head. "All right, we can do that as soon as we get back to the CBI." He steered her towards the check out counter, ready to keep up with the rest of his life.

With his son.

* * *

After a successful shopping trip with Grace, Jane had managed to get most of everything he needed for the time being to take care of JJ. They had dropped most of the stuff off at Lisbon's place and he planned on having the team there on Saturday to help put together the furniture he bought but for the time being JJ was sitting in his lap as Rigsby was trying to put together a travel crib.

"Your Uncle has no talent," Jane whispered to JJ.

"You know you could always help me put this together," Rigsby placed the guide on his desk before grabbing the travel crib and putting it in front of Jane. "There."

"Should I even trust your skills?" Jane asked as he looked cautiously at the crib.

"Oh, for God's sake just put him in the damn crib," Rigsby sat down on the closest chair.

"Language," Jane said as he placed JJ down in the crib.

"You think mine is bad?"

"Yes, but I know Lisbon has said worse."

"Most of which you caused," Rigsby smirked as he watched Jane place a lion blanket over his son then a little stuffed lion next to him. JJ looked over at the stuffed animal and studied it. Jane leaned back against his couch and picked up the book that was next to him.

"Are you going to say every name in that book?" Rigsby asked as he looked at the thick book.

"If that is what it takes, then yes," Jane replied as he flipped through the book his eyes looking over names, he already had a short list that he had written down of likely candidates.

"Maybe she named the kid after her brothers," Rigsby suggested.

"Maybe but I highly doubt it, she would have picked a name that meant something to her," Jane pointed out. "Maybe continuing her mother's tradition with saints, but more likely something that was important to her when he was born."

"Do you have any ideas?"

"A few," Jane replied, "And tomorrow I'll bring the book there and see which one works."

Rigsby nodded and watched the new father work on his list of names while JJ quietly cooed in his crib, blinking his eyes sleepily. "Well, I'm going to go get some dinner, do you want anything?" Rigsby asked as he got to his feet.

"Where are you going to?"

"That little Italian place on the corner."

"Yes, pick me up a number four," Jane replied without looking up from the book.

"Number four, okay," Rigsby made a mental note and headed to the elevators just as Cho and Grace exited the elevator.

"Is Jane here?" Grace asked immediately, she looked upset which immediately sent alarm bells off in his head..

"Yeah, he is in the bullpen with JJ." Rigsby pointed behind him and then noticed the look on Grace face. "What is it?"

"We just got a call," Cho told him.

"About Lisbon?" Rigsby asked concerned as he turned his head back to look into the bullpen.

"No, she is the same," Cho told him.

"Then what is wrong?"

"Sac P.D just found the body of Lorelei Martins," Cho told him as he walked away from the pair.

"What?"

"It looks like a Red John killing," Grace told him. "Cho informed Bertram to allow Sac P.D to handle the case for the time being seeing as we are in this predicament."

Rigsby nodded and turned to look back at the bullpen. JJ must have started to cry a little because Jane was walking back and forth with JJ in his arms.

"We need to tell him," Grace informed Rigsby.

"Not tonight, allow him to be happy." The two of them watched as Jane smiled down at his son while he moved away from their view.

Tomorrow would be soon enough for the darkness to descend again.

* * *

A/N: A cute chapter that has a dark twist, we do that a lot LOL Hope you enjoyed this little sweetness, and hey how is the name JJ? We got so excited when we came up with it! LOL

Next chapter: Jane reacts to Lorelei's bloody and graphic death while still trying to find out JJ's real name. Just when things are looking bleak...a new ray of sunlight emerges ;-)


	7. Salvation is Key

Disclaimer: We own nothing

A/N Nerwen Aldarion: Whoo sorry for the wait on this one, this chapter took longer then we thought but the wait should be worth it hehehe. You'll get something you've been waiting for

A/N Steele Simz: So here is an update. Please feel free to leave a review letting us know what you think of this chapter. Thanks for reading.

**Anonymous Reviews:**

**Anna:** LOL you'll see what JJ's real name is soon, so glad you enjoyed this chapter!

**Itrio39:** Awww so glad you enjoyed Lavinia, this one is more evil because it's two evil authors compiling with the wickedness hehehe

**Vice-Loser:** We wanted to be sneaky and evil hehehe. Minelli believes in Jane, he knows that Jane has pulled off some pretty amazing things before, he also knows that Jane isn't going to give up.

**Teena:** A very good guess, read on to see if you were right

**Phoenixx: **Wow! That's a high compliment! Those are some good guesses, read on to see if you guessed right hehehe

**Ruby:** Jeoffrey is a key character but not JJ's real name hehehe. You'll see if mama Lisbon shows up soon ;-)

**Anonymous:** Awww thanks so much!

**Marcia Santos:** There will always be light, read on to see what we mean

* * *

Chapter 7: Salvation is Key

Jane was enjoying the early morning in the quiet bullpen; he was lying on the couch with his son fast asleep on his chest. Every so often he would stop and smiled down at his little boy that was curled up on him, but he mostly held up the book of baby names while creating a list on the paper in his hand.

"You don't look like an 'Adam' but I wouldn't put it past your mother," Jane said, putting that name on the list, "I can scratch off anything she can't pronounce. "Aaron, Adrian…Ace? God I hope not."

He was still writing down names when one by one the other members of the team crept into the bullpen. He smiled at each of them but they all remained quiet, mindful of the sleeping baby. Jane wrote down a few more names before putting the book aside and carefully picking up JJ and sitting up on the couch. "All right, now what secret have the three of you been keeping from me?"

They all exchanged looks, wondering exactly how Jane managed to find them out but then again this was Jane after all. Jane was calm but eyeing each of them. "Come on…out with it."

It was Cho who finally decided to confess. "Lorelei Martins is dead."

Jane was completely still but didn't react anymore than that, he was silent for a moment but the truth was he had been expecting this. "When?"

"Her body was found by SAC PD last night."

He gave Cho a hard look. "You should have told me then."

"We didn't want to ruin your time with your son," Grace said softly.

Jane didn't really find that answer acceptable, as sweet as it was. He set JJ down into the carrier by the couch and stood up. "Where's her body?"

"In the morgue," Cho told him.

He waited for them to lead the way.

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

The morgue was as dreary a place as it had ever been. Jane had never particularly cared for the place, it wasn't just the smell of disinfectant that didn't quite cover up the smell of the dead or the fact that it was always quite cold, simply put it wasn't exactly a pleasant place to be. Dr. Wallace was as diligent as ever, she didn't even ask who they were here to see just opened the requisite drawer.

"The official cause of death was exsanguination, there were a multitude of cuts on her chest and her throat, excessively so."

Jane could see that. Red John had always had an artistry to his work but this time the cuts were even more jagged and deep. He was sure several had cut right to the bone. "Excessive is right," Jane agreed, "This was rage."

"You think this was retaliation?" Cho asked.

He nodded, still staring at Lorelei's pale dead face. "She took my son away from him, that in itself is a betrayal. For once, not everything is going to plan." He continued to look at her for another moment, not really feeling anything but calm relief. This was always going to happen, it was a pity that her usefulness was now gone but there was no helping that.

Finally Jane turned away and met Cho's eyes. "I need to see where she was found."

Twenty minutes later Jane was stepping out of the car. Cho led him towards a dirty alley with several dumpsters all overflowing with trash. He supposed Red John appreciated that irony, throwing her out like she was garbage. The yellow ribbon marked where the body was found, on another pile of trash bags. If that was any indication, the smiley face that was painted on the crumbling brick wall proved it. The eyes still wept bloody tears.

There was only a little bit of blood but that wasn't a surprise, she'd been dumped here not killed. Jane didn't know if they would ever find that scene, it didn't really matter though. "Who found her?" Jane asked calmly.

"The bartender who works here, he was bringing out the trash and saw her," Cho explained.

Jane knelt down next to the spot where her body had been. "What are you doing?" Rigsby asked.

"Looking," he replied simply. Jane knew that something was here; Red John was too much of an artist and a showman. This was a new game; it was even more thrilling then the last one because the stakes were so much higher.

He studied the area around him, it would be so easy to miss something with all of the leftover beer bottles and banana peels. Red John would put it where only he would find it, somewhere inconspicuous but just slightly out of place to arouse his suspicions.

It only took a moment. Perched just below the face, next to a black garbage bag of glass bottles and something Jane had no desire to identify, was a pristine white envelope. He picked it up and stared at it for a moment before carefully undoing the flap, no need to worry about fingerprints or DNA, there weren't going to be any.

There was a sheet of white paper on the inside and another smaller face drawn in blood again. Jane had no doubt the blood would match Lorelei's but the calling card didn't matter to him, it was the other part of the message the intrigued him the most.

It was a photograph. A simple, 4X6 glossy picture that could be printed out at any drugstore. It was a picture of his son, probably only a few days old if his size was any indication. JJ was snuggled up in a simple red blanket, a red and white pacifier in his mouth. But he was being held in someone's arms, someone wearing all black, even black gloves. The picture cut off so he could see his face but there was no doubt who it was.

"What is that?" Cho asked, stepping closer to his friend.

"A message."

"From Red John?"

Jane nodded. Rigsby peeked over his shoulder to see the picture. "What do you think it means?"

"That he wants JJ. That he won't give up, he considers him his property."

Cho looked at the photograph and met Jane's eyes. "He won't get him."

Jane agreed with that. Red John would have to kill him to get JJ back and Jane didn't have any plans to die now. Rigsby must have noticed that Jane was looking particularly grave. "You all right?"

"He touched my son," Jane hissed out, "he held him in his arms. He took him away from his mother and if he thinks for one moment that I'm just going to stand around and allow him to have my son then he is gravely mistaken."

He didn't stick around to gawk at the crime scene anymore after that. He wanted to get back to the CBI where his son was, he wanted to hold JJ and smell his skin, he wanted to eradicate any memory of this monster caring for his child. So that was what he was going to do.

* * *

Jane got out of the car just as Grace turned it off, going to the back door he opened it and bent down to take a sleeping JJ out of the car seat. Pulling him to his chest, JJ grabbed a part of his shirt and turned his head into Jane's chest before closing his eyes. Jane closed the door with his foot and headed to the front door just as Cho and Rigsby pulled into the parking lot. Grace used her extra key to unlock the door and then moved to let Jane in.

"I'll grab his carrier and help the guys with the furniture," Grace told him as he walked in.

"I'll be upstairs," he told her as he made his way to the stairs. By the time he had gotten to the top step JJ had started to wake up and by the time Jane had placed him on the bed he was wide-awake looking at his father with interest.

"I'm going to give you a bath," Jane told him as he pulled off his jacket and placed it on a nearby chair, he repeated the step with his vest before rolling up his sleeves. He sat down on the bed next to his son just as Grace came into the bedroom carrying a small bathtub with items for JJ.

"I'll put this stuff in the bathroom," she told him as she walked by. A few moments later she came back out. "Are you going to need any help?"

"No, but I will yell if I do," he told her as he got to his feet. Grace nodded and headed back to the door when Jane called her.

"Yes?"

"Thank you," he told her softly.

"For what?"

"For being there for me in the past few weeks, months actually. I'm not sure how I would have survived if the three of you hadn't been there," he told her as he looked back down at JJ.

"We are a family Jane and that is what families do for each other," she replied and Jane nodded sadly as he sat back down and used his fingers to play with his son. Grace took that as her time to leave.

"We are an incomplete family, but I will get your mother back," Jane whispered the promise to his son before getting to his feet and heading to the bathroom so he could start J. J's bath.

He turned on the tub facet before looking on the counter at the baby tub that Grace had brought in. Inside the tub were all the items he needed for giving his son a bath. He took the rubber ducky and a towel out and placed them to the side and then grabbed the washcloth and baby shampoo and placed them on the edge of the tub. He turned off the facet and placed the tub into the water before walking out of the bathroom to grab his son. His son was still lying on the bed starring up at the ceiling when Jane undressed him. JJ cried a little at the change but as soon as Jane brought him to his chest he calmed and grabbed a small fistful of his shirt. Jane carried him into the bathroom and gently placed him in the tub before getting to his knee and placing the washcloth in the warm water. JJ fussed as he placed the washcloth across his body.

"I think your Aunt Grace left you a rubber ducky," he told JJ as he got to his feet and grabbed the ducky before resuming his previous position.

He held up the ducky to JJ and his son immediately glued his eyes to the small toy. "You want the ducky?"

Jane placed the ducky in front of his son in the water and JJ watched as it floated around him. JJ shifted his eyes back to his father with a look. "It is just a rubber ducky I promise it won't explode."

JJ looked back at the toy and then started to kick, which led to him splashing out some of the little bit of water that was in the tub. Jane smiled and gave a laugh as he reach over and pulled the ducky back in the direction of his son just so JJ could do the little trick again.

Jane was able to finish washing his son and then placed a little shampoo in his hand before washing his son head. JJ let out a cry when he added the water to his head to clean out the shampoo so he pulled the ducky back and once again JJ was splashing with his feet. By the time Jane had finished his shirt was a little wet, he got to his feet and grabbed the towel before bending down to grab his son, wrapping him in the little towel he dried him off. Keeping him in the towel he headed out of the bathroom and to the guest room where the teams was working on putting together furniture.

"Are these directions even in English," Cho asked as he stared at the direction on how to put together the crib.

"Item A goes into slot B, how hard is that?" Rigsby asked as he finished the diaper changing station.

"Those aren't directions," Cho muttered as he went back to work just as Jane cleared his throat.

"How is everything?" Jane asked as he bounced his son a little against his chest.

"We should have everything set by tonight if these two stop complaining," Grace stated as she handed Jane sleepwear for JJ.

"Thanks," Jane told her as he walked out of the room and back to the bedroom so he could change JJ into his sleepwear. He changed JJ then lay down on the bed pulling his son onto his chest.

"I thought he might need this until Cho finishes with the crib," Grace stated as she walked into the bedroom holding the stuff tiger. She handed it to Jane who placed it on his chest next to JJ.

"I'm just going to stay with him until he falls asleep," Jane told her as he closed his eyes.

"Of course," she whisper and headed to the door she closed it softly behind her leaving the two of them to sleep before heading back to the guestroom. "We are on our own."

"What?" Rigsby asked as he started to help Cho with the crib.

"The two of them are asleep," she smiled and went to work on placing items in the diaper changing station.

"How long is his list now?" Rigsby asked after him and Cho finished putting together the crib.

"Last time I saw it was a few pages long," Cho answer as he threw the directions into the crib.

"Is he going to say every name he comes up with?"

"He will do what it takes, wouldn't you Wayne?" Grace asked. Rigsby nodded and then help Cho placed the small mattress inside the crib. They all knew that Jane wasn't going to give up, not now and not ever.

* * *

It had been a few days since the team had help Jane put together the baby furniture for JJ. They had some free time, which was why Grace was sitting at Lisbon's desk with JJ sleeping in his portable crib while his Dad went to visit his mother with a list of new names to test out. For the time being Grace was going through her computer looking at anything she may have missed when it came to Red John. She had been keeping a personal file of information ever since Lisbon had disappeared. But today when she looked into the old files she'd sent to Bertram something was off.

"Can't be possible," she muttered to herself as she typed away at the computer just as Rigsby entered the office with a white box that consist of her lunch.

"Here you go," he told her as he placed the box on the desk and went to the small table to eat his lunch. "Grace?"

"What?"

"Is something wrong?" He asked as he studied her.

"There is something weird with the files," she told him.

"What files?"

"The files that I sent to Bertram," she looked up from the computer. "The files I sent never had the location where Lisbon is at, but these files now show where she is."

"So?"

"I never put in that information."

"Maybe Cho or someone else did," Rigsby shrugged his shoulders as he took a bite of his sandwich.

"No, the only place that I kept that information was in my personal files," she corrected him annoyed.

"Cho had access, he could have put it in." Rigsby pointed out.

"Why would he after Jane was so adamant about keeping any knowledge away from the public?"

"Who knows?"

Grace wasn't so sure, but she was coming to a very scary conclusion. "Wayne, I can only think of one explanation."

"What?"

"That someone got into my personal files and found the information, which could only mean one thing."

"And that is?"

"There is a mole," Jane voice made the two of them jump.

"Where did you come from?" Rigsby asked as he recovered.

"The hospital," Jane replied softly before he walked over to the portable crib and looked down at his son.

"He has been asleep since you left," Grace informed him as Jane reach down and pull the blanket over his child.

"Could anyone have access to your files?" He asked as he straightened up.

"Not without a password and whoever hacked into my files is good," Grace informed him.

"Then we have a mole in the CBI who is leaking information to the public," Jane confirmed before walking over to the couch to sit down. "Which means he knows where she is at."

"I'll send a guard over to watch her." Grace stated as she pulled out her phone.

"What about JJ?" Rigsby asked.

"He will be with me so he is safe for now. Red John isn't going to make a move on him until he is sure that he can get to him," Jane replied.

"And Lisbon?"

"She doesn't believe she has a son so he won't go after her, but having a guard will protect her just in case."

"What about you?" Rigsby asked.

"I'm going to move myself and JJ into her old apartment," Jane told him as he got to his feet.

"Are you sure that is wise?"

"Yes, especially since we will have around the clock protection."

"I have a guard set up at the hospital for Lisbon," Grace told him after she covered the phone with her hand. "Anywhere else?"

"Her apartment," Jane told her as he walked over to the portable crib.

"Why?"

"Because I'm moving in there," Jane told her as he picked up JJ and brought him to his chest. "_We_ are moving in there," he corrected himself as JJ opened his eyes to the sound of his father's voice.

Okay," Grace said as she continued her conversation on the phone.

"Jane, are you sure it is the best idea to move into her place," Rigsby had come up behind Jane. "I mean he knows where she lives."

"And he knows where I live," Jane corrected him as he placed JJ in the carrier.

"So stay here, you have protection here," Rigsby pointed out.

"No, I'm not going to have JJ live here, for one it isn't a safe home environment for him and second Lisbon would kill me when she finds out."

"So you are just going to move into her place," Grace injected as she hung up the phone.

"Yup," Jane smiled at her as he picked up the carrier. "Lisbon will be pleased with my decision and it is only temporary."

"Temporary?" Grace raised an eyebrow at him.

"I plan on getting her a house the moment this is all settled, our son will grow up with a backyard and on a street where he can ride his bike," Jane answered with a smile as he left the two of them in the office.

"Jane living in a house," Rigsby stated as he shook his head.

"With Lisbon," Grace added.

"I can picture it," Rigsby laughed as he smiled at Grace. She just shook her head and went to work on her computer. "What are you doing?"

"I'm going to find that mole so he can have what he wants," she told him without looking up.

"I wonder what kind of house he will buy," Rigsby said from the couch an hour later.

"What?" Grace stopped typing and looked over at him.

"The house he is going to get her."

"Who cares it is between the two of them," Grace said, she was annoyed as she was no closer to figuring out who access her files.

"Maybe he will buy her a huge house, I can see him doing that."

"Wayne?"

"Yeah?"

"Go bug Cho," Grace replied as she went back to her computer.

* * *

Jane has just put JJ down to sleep in his crib when he felt his phone vibrate against his side. Reaching into his vest he pulled it out and noticed Cho had texted him that he was at the front door. Smiling to himself that Cho was smart man after all. He headed down the stairs and walked over to the front door, he opened it and Cho stood there with a pizza box in his hand.

"Figured he would be asleep," Cho stated as soon as he opened the door.

"Just fell asleep actually," Jane told him as he motion Cho to enter. "Thanks for grabbing dinner."

"Wasn't my choice, the boys outside got it for you," Cho stated as he placed the pizza box on the table.

"Curious." Jane said as he opened the box.

"What?"

"That they would buy food for me," Jane bent down to stare at the pizza to make sure it was edible.

"They didn't buy it for you," Cho corrected him as he picked up a piece and sat down.

"Really?"

"They brought it as a thank you," Cho informed him before taking a bite.

Now that was interesting, mostly because Jane couldn't think of anything he had done for the guards on duty. "A thank you?"

"Ever since JJ came into your life you haven't pissed off one single person making those that work at the CBI lives easier," Cho stated before taking another bite.

"Well, then they should be thanking Lisbon," Jane told him as he sat down and reached for a slice himself.

"Oh, they will," Cho smiled. Just as the baby monitor on Jane's belt came to life with the sound of JJ crying.

"Be right back," Jane told him as he place the slice of pizza back in the box and headed for the stairs. A few moments later he came back downstairs.

"Everything okay?"

"Yes, he just wakes up crying at certain points in the night. As soon as I talk to him he calms down," Jane explained. "That and his stuffed lion was not near him."

"That stuffed lion will be needing a bath soon," Cho said stoically as he reached for another slice.

"I know, that thing goes everywhere," he agreed, no doubt the lion would be threadbare before his son was a year old. "You know you don't have to stay."

"Yes, I do."

"Why?"

"Because I took the first watch," Cho said stoic. "Van Pelt will take the next and then Rigsby."

"What about the cases?"

"You and JJ are our main case according to Bertram so you get priority," Cho explained.

Well for once it appeared Bertram was doing something right. "Well, in that case have some more pizza," Jane motioned to the half eaten pizza.

"No, I'm not Rigsby and I need to do a check around the parameter," Cho got to his feet and headed to the door. "You should go to sleep."

"Thanks for the suggestion but I want to study the files that Grace sent over," he told Cho as he lay against the couch pulled a file off the table.

"I'll be back in fifteen minutes," Cho replied as he walked out the door.

"I'm not going anywhere," Jane said to himself as he studied the files in his hand. There was a lot to focus on, finding his son's name, reaching out to Lisbon, finding the mole and eventually Red John. It was enough to drive an ordinary man mad.

Lucky for Jane he had never been ordinary.

* * *

Jane kept the book of names tucked under his arm as he made his way down the hallway to towards the psych ward of the hospital. It wasn't the permanent facility he had checked himself into all those years ago since this one was simply an extension of the medical hospital. At least it meant that Lisbon was somewhere safe.

It had been several weeks since Lisbon had been found in the basement and for the last two of them he'd been busy trying to find out what their son's name was. For anyone else it would be easy to get discouraged but Jane knew that with every name he crossed off the list that only meant he was getting closer.

The permanent guard on duty was sitting in the chair by her door, it was Bobby today and he gave Jane a polite smile. "You're here early," Bobby pointed out. "I just put her in restraints so you'll be safe."

"Thank you," Jane told him though he hated that such precautions were necessary. He waited patiently while Bobby unlocked the door and let Jane inside.

Lisbon was sitting in a chair in the middle of the room; her wrists and ankles were tied down to the arms and legs of the chair. She couldn't move even as she tugged at the restraints as soon as he walked in. "You bastard."

"You're slipping, Lisbon," Jane remarked as he took a seat across from her, "usually you call me much more colorful names."

"Release me and I'll grant you your wish you stupid, arrogant son of a bitch!"

"Better," Jane replied, he set the book down on the table in front of him along with the list of names he'd come up with. "Where did we leave off? The D's. Daniel…David…Derek…"

Lisbon merely rolled her eyes. "I don't know a Derek."

"I'll find it out eventually."

"Right, the name of the kid that I don't have."

Jane looked up from his list and met her eyes seriously. "The name of our son, the name that you gave him."

"I don't have a son."

"You met him," Jane reminded her softly, "I brought him here and you saw him."

Lisbon just glared at him angrily. "I don't know where you got that baby from, Jane. But he isn't _mine_."

That hurt him; it cut through him like a knife. He knew Lisbon really believed that, even when he'd brought her the baby she couldn't see that he had her hair, her nose, her eyes…but all of that was lost on her. She wasn't allowed to see that their son looked so much like her; she wasn't allowed to believe that she even had a son.

He set the book aside and instead kept his gaze locked on hers. "Let's try this another way."

"Great," Lisbon said sarcastically, "this should be interesting."

He ignored her words but kept his eyes focused on hers. "Lisbon, I want you to listen to me. Focus on my voice and just listen to me, close your eyes." She didn't close her eyes but she was simply staring at him, a blank expression appeared on her face. He knew this was working; she was susceptible to suggestion in this state. "Calm, easy, just listen to me, focus on just my voice."

In a few seconds she was completely still except for her very slow blinking. She was in a light trance, exactly how he wanted it to be. "Now, think back on where you have been the past year. Something you did, something you touched, you smelled, you saw…something. What do you want?"

"Ribbons," Lisbon whispered softly.

Ribbons? Oh yes, ribbons. She'd taken to finding bits of cloth and ribbons, twining and braiding them together in her hands. She'd even gone so far as to take the shoelaces off of her shoes or peeling strips from her blankets. It was something unusual, a nervous habit that she'd never had before.

Is that something from her captivity?

"You played with ribbons," Jane repeated softly. "What else?"

Suddenly she met his eyes but Jane knew she wasn't actually seeing him. "St. Anthony, perfect imitator of Jesus, who received from God the special power of restoring lost things, grant that he may find me, one which has been lost."

"St. Anthony," Jane said softly, "you prayed to him."

"Hail Mary, full of grace. Our Lord is with thee. Blessed art thou among women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death. Amen."

He was not surprised that she'd prayed, Jane only wondered how many hours she'd spent begging her God for help. Prayed that he would find her. Well at least that had been delivered.

"St. Anthony, perfect imitator of Jesus, who received from God the special power of restoring lost things, grant that he may find me, one which has been lost. Hail Mary, full of grace. Our Lord is with thee. Blessed art thou among women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death. Amen."

"Anthony, the saint of missing people," Jane said mulling over all of this. She'd been locked away for months and terrified…praying that someone would find her. She'd been pregnant and given birth in captivity.

"Anthony," he repeated, "is that our son's name? Anthony?"

There was a brief flinch, she reacted to that name. That was entirely new. "Salvation," Lisbon said numbly, "Salvation, salvation, salvation…"

She kept repeating that word over and over again which meant something was important. He'd mentioned their son's name and then…

Jane grabbed the book and flipped through it, mostly to make sure that he was right. Lisbon was religious, even more so when she was terrified. All of her brothers and family were named after biblical or religious figures. It made sense that she would turn towards tradition and comfort when it came to picking a name for their child.

_Joshua- "salvation" or "God delivers" named for the biblical leader of the Israelites._

Salvation. Joshua.

"Joshua," Jane stood up from his seat. "Is his name, Joshua?"

Lisbon blinked a couple of times, her whole demeanor changed and she suddenly seemed scared. "Stop it. Stop it now!"

Jane smiled. "Joshua, his name is Joshua." He was certain of that now…but she was still looking like she wanted to kill him. "It's the full name then."

"I don't know what you are talking about." Lisbon declared harshly. "Leave!"

"Joshua…Anthony?" Jane guessed and watched as the anger built up inside of her. "Lisbon," he reached turned grabbed her shoulders, forcing her to look at him. "Joshua Anthony Lisbon."

She just glared at him. "I hate you."

For a second he was at a loss…that should have worked. Unless.

"Jane," he whispered and then met her eyes once more. "Joshua Anthony Jane."

It happened in a blink of an eye. One moment she was glaring at him menacingly and then in the next second she was staring up at him with a confused expression on her face. All of the anger and tension melted away and now…now it was a bit of anxiety and confusion.

"Jane?" Lisbon asked tentatively. "Where am I?"

He smiled even as tears filled his eyes. Oh God, it had worked. He didn't answer her question but instead gave into his instincts. Jane leaned in a pressed his lips to hers in a kiss that expressed all of his pain, anguish, relief and joy at knowing that woman he loved was back in every way.

If there was any doubt that Lisbon was finally out of her hypnotic state, that melted away when she kissed him back.

Jane would have loved to have kissed her forever, but there was so much more that needed to be said, that he wanted to do. He pulled back, running his fingertips over her cheek and lips, smiling softly into her eyes. Physically she'd been back in his life for weeks now…but this was the first time that he really felt like he'd found her again.

Tears were spilling down her cheeks, mimicking his own. "You found me," she whispered.

He nodded. "It took me long enough." She smiled back at him and he kissed her once more, wrapping his arms around her to feel her solid frame in his. She was here, in his arms once more, and he was never ever going to let her go.

But she began to struggle and he pulled back. "Get me out of these things," Lisbon said, still fighting her restraints. "Why am I tied up?"

"You tried to shoot me," Jane told her as he carefully unbuckled one wrist.

"I did?" Lisbon gaped at him in horror. "Oh God what else did I do?"

He stopped his work and met her eyes. "What is the last thing you remember?"

An expression of fear and pain overcame her face. "Being locked up in the basement. He was there, he told me it was time."

Jane knew exactly what Red John had meant by that. It had finally been time to start the new part of the game. He shook his head. "It is going to be a very long story."

"What happened?"

"Later," Jane told her. He finished undoing the restraints and pulled her out of the chair and back into his arms. Neither one of them resisted the urge to kiss again, this time Lisbon was allowed to hold him just as much as he had done to her. All he wanted to do was feel her, to be reassured that the person in his arms was real and whole.

Lisbon leaned back a little, still sheltered in his embrace. She cupped his cheek with one hand. "Patrick, can you do something for me?"

He turned his head to kiss her palm. "Anything."

"Get me out of here."

Jane smiled and nodded. "Of course."

He grabbed her hand and led her to the door but then held a finger to his lips. "Wait here." Jane peeked out to see that Bobby was still sitting by the door…and he had coffee. Oh this just made his job so much easier.

Jane stepped outside, being careful with the door so that it didn't close and lock behind him. "Hello, Bobby," Jane said in greeting.

"Hey, how'd it go?"

Jane shrugged. "Better, I think I'm getting close." He sighed heavily and gestured wildly with his hands. "I only hope that maybe I can…" this time he swung his arm and made contact with the Styrofoam cup, spilling coffee all over the man. "Oh, I'm so sorry."

Bobby frantically dabbed at his clothes, standing up from the heat. "Shit!"

"I'm so sorry, I can't believe I did that."

"It's okay," Bobby said, though he was obviously disgruntled. "I'll just go clean up in the restroom."

"Great idea," Jane replied, "I'll get you a fresh cup."

Bobby merely grunted and made his way down the hall toward the restroom. Jane watched him go and once he was around the corner, he quickly opened the door and grabbed Lisbon's hand. "Come on," Jane told her, hurrying down the opposite end of the hall towards the stairwell exit. "We have to get you out of here before someone sees you."

They all but ran down the stairs, never once letting go of each other, which might have made the trek a bit perilous, but they didn't care. They weren't willing to ever let the other go again.

Somehow they made it out of the building without attracting any attention and they raced over to where his car was parked. If anyone found the sight of a woman running away in the plain light blue pants and shirt that all psych patients wore, no one said anything. She was giggling when they piled into his car. "Five minutes back to sanity and you're breaking me out of the hospital."

Jane laughed lightly and smiled fondly at her. "Where to first?"

A very soft smile came over her features. "Our son."

He grinned and leaned in to kiss her cheek. "Of course."

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

All it took was one phone call to turn an already terrible situation into something much, much worse. "He did _what?_" Cho exclaimed, standing up from his desk and yelling into the phone.

JJ whimpered at his loud voice and Grace quickly picked him up out of his carrier to hold him close. He calmed down once he was cradled against her warm comforting bosom but Grace and Rigsby were both staring at Cho who was still growling into his phone.

"What did Jane do now?" Rigsby asked as soon as he hung up.

"He helped Lisbon escape the hospital."

"What?" They both shouted. JJ began to cry again and Grace quickly turned into mother hen mode. "Shhh, it's okay, I'm sorry JJ."

Rigsby glanced at the fussy baby but was still mostly focused on Cho. "Why would he do that?"

"I don't know," Cho replied, stapling his phone to his ear again. "I'll find out." He dialed Jane's number only to hear it ring…and not just from the phone.

All three of them heard the ringing phone and they turned their heads in time to see Jane waltzing into the bullpen holding Lisbon's hand. "Hey," Jane said in greeting, looking happier than they'd ever seen him, "Look who I found wandering the parking lot."

"What the hell is going on?" Cho asked, eyeing Lisbon warily. "She needs to be at the hospital."

Lisbon held up a hand. "I'm fine, Cho."

Jane nodded. "Yes she is."

"How do we know that?" Cho pointed out, still looking at her suspiciously.

"Well she isn't trying to kill me," Jane pointed out.

Lisbon gave him a slightly annoyed look. "Not yet."

That made him grin and he held pointed at her. "You see? She's fine. Back to normal."

"How?" Rigsby asked, obviously still in shock.

"I found the trigger," Jane explained calmly, "Red John didn't think I'd figure it out but I know Lisbon better than he thinks." Jane clasped Lisbon's hand and smiled down at her. "Our son's name." They shared a moment of blissful happiness that made the other members of their team feel slightly sick, like watching their parents get gooey and romantic. But Jane grew serious quickly. "Speaking of our son…"

Lisbon turned towards Grace who stood up, still holding JJ in her arms. She wanted to run over and grab her son and never let him go but she couldn't move her feet for the longest time. All she could do was stand there and stare at the baby in Grace's arms, a lump the size of a grapefruit forming in her throat and tears spilling down her cheeks. She didn't know how long she might have stood there if Jane hadn't leaned in and whispered in her ear. "Get over there." Before gently nudging her in that direction.

She stumbled over to Grace who was smiling softly at her. "Here," Grace told her, gently placing the baby in Lisbon's arms. "I think he belongs to you."

Lisbon could only stare at the baby in her arms in wonder. His light green eyes were gazing up at her, his tiny hand reaching up to touch her face. Tears still fell down her cheeks as she drank in the sight of her child.

Jane gently gripped her shoulder and he backed her up towards his couch. She didn't know why until she realized that her body was quivering with sobs as she still held onto her baby. He helped her sit down so she could cry and hold on to their son without dropping him.

"I…I only got to hold him for a couple of hours," Lisbon admitted, barely choking out the words, "right after he was born." She tried to brush away the tears but more took their place. "Then they took him away." Lisbon focused on her son, holding his little hand between her thumb and forefinger. "He's gotten so big since then…and I didn't get to see it."

Jane wrapped an arm around her shoulder and pulled her against his chest. "It's okay, Teresa," he whispered into her hair. "It wasn't your fault."

She shook her head. "I still missed so much."

"You aren't going to miss anything else," Jane promised her. "You have him, we _both_ have him and we won't lose him again. I'll keep you both safe."

She smiled back up at him. "He really is here."

Jane grinned and kissed her forehead. "Yes, he is."

Lisbon giggled at the charcoal vest and suit her son was wearing, almost exactly like the one Jane had on. "The outfit is adorable, you look just like Daddy." She met Jane's eyes. "Did you buy this?"

"That was all Grace."

Lisbon turned her gaze back to their son, her fingertip lightly tracing his cheek. "Hello, Joshua. Remember me? I'm your mommy."

Jane reached over to gently caress the top of their son's head. "Yes, JJ. She's your mother, isn't she beautiful?"

"Wait a minute," Lisbon said, stiffening immediately. "JJ?"

He grinned. "Yes, JJ, our son."

"Our son is not named JJ, his name is _Joshua_."

Jane shrugged. "It's a nickname."

"And you decided this _now?_"

Jane shook his head. "No, I've been calling him JJ almost since we found him."

"What?"

Rigsby ducked his head. "Actually…it was sort of my idea." Lisbon turned her death glare on him and the poor man actually paled a little. "We…we had to call him something."

"Why JJ?"

He looked sheepish now. "It's short for…Jane Junior."

Lisbon's face flushed a frightening shade of pink. "_Jane Junior?_" Now she turned to glare at the father of her child. "_Jane…JUNIOR?_"

But Jane wasn't fazed at all. "JJ fits him."

"So not only did you have to buy him a suit identical to yours, you had to name him after you as well?"

"Three seconds ago you thought that his suit was adorable," Jane pointed out.

"That was before I found out you were turning my son into a mini you," She told him quickly, "His name is _not_ Jane Junior!"

He shook his head. "You brought this on yourself when you named him Joshua Jane."

She glared at him and grumbled. "I wasn't thinking clearly at that moment, obviously."

Jane grinned at that moment. "Don't listen to her, JJ. Mommy gets grumpy sometimes."

"I'm calling _my_ son Joshua," Lisbon declared, "You can call your son whatever the hell you want."

Cho glanced at Rigsby. "Ten bucks says she calls him JJ by the end of the week."

"I'll take that bet."

Lisbon would have given them both angry glares if she'd been paying at all attention to them. But she was back to gazing at her son and was oblivious to the rest of the room. For a moment the three other members of the team watched the family with soft smiles on their faces. Then Grace nudged both of them. "Come on, let's give them a minute alone."

Jane and Lisbon barely noticed that they left the room. She was busy cooing over her son. "He's perfect isn't he?"

Jane nodded. "He takes after you which means he's beyond perfect."

She turned her head to grin at him before looking back at their baby. Lisbon leaned over to kiss the top of his head before leaning back against Jane's chest. He was happy to keep his arm wrapped around her, idly running his fingertips over the bare skin of her elbow.

"What happens now?" Lisbon asked softly.

Jane sighed and ran his free hand through his hair. "We find a safe house to hide you and JJ in while waiting for Red John to make his next move."

"He wants Joshua," Lisbon pointed out, "he told me that himself."

"Oh I know," Jane replied, "but I'm not going to allow him to take my son or you ever again. He's desperate and this time he will make a mistake…and we'll all be waiting for that moment."

She nodded but she wasn't as confident. He couldn't really blame her; they had never been a step ahead of Red John it didn't make sense that they would be now. But Jane was not going to let anything happen to his family.

He swore it.

* * *

A/N: YAY! Lisbon is FREE! LOL It was fun having her be slightly crazy but we're so excited to be able to write more with Lisbon and her son (Joshua Jane, yep, still going to be called JJ LOL)

Next chapter: Jane takes Lisbon to a safehouse where she tries to fit into her new role as mom and Jane learns more about Lisbon's captivity by Red John...


	8. Caught in the Darkness

Disclaimer: We own nothing

A/N Nerwen Aldarion: Your eyes do not deceive you, it a real update for Secluded in Red a day later LOL this chapter was almost already complete yesterday so we are just going ahead and posting it now. Warning, there is an M-rated scene near the end hehehe

A/N Steele Simz: This chapter is mostly Nerwen but I did add a few things here and there. Thanks for all the reviews on the last chapter and for the continue reading.

**Anonymous Reviews:**

**Anonymous:** Then you'll love this chapter hehehe

REMEMBER THERE IS AN M-RATED SCENE AT THE END!

* * *

Chapter 8: Caught in the Darkness

Lisbon was enjoying the moment of peace and quiet with her son and Jane. Jane was playing with their son, using his fingers as the toys. He would placed them in front of JJ, wiggle them until JJ reached up to grab them and then Jane would pull back his hand. JJ would laugh every time Jane did this. Lisbon looked up and noticed the huge smile on Jane's face.

"You are happy?" She told him.

"Of course, why wouldn't I be?" He asked as he stopped his movement and looked down at her. "I have you and JJ in my life."

"I wasn't sure how you would react to the news that you had a son," she admitted softly as Jane resumed his hand movements.

"I'm overjoyed that _we_ have a son," he bent his head to kiss her lips in a soft kiss before pulling back to play with his son more.

After several more moments JJ stopped reaching for his father's fingers and turned to his mother and the warmness of her chest before he closed his eyes.

"He is our son," Lisbon said in awe as she held him closer. "And he is already smarter than we give him credit for."

"Why do you say that?"

"Because he knows when you are just playing mean," she remarked with a laugh that caused JJ to stir in her arms, he opened his eyes at the sound of his mother's laughter and then closed them again.

Jane tightened his arm around Lisbon and pulled her closer to his chest. He was more than content to stay in this moment and forget about everything around them, but just as the idea popped into his head the team returned with Cho heading over to them with Rigsby on the phone behind him and Grace going over to her desk.

"What is it?" Lisbon asked as she watched Cho approach. Just back and she was already in boss mode.

"We need to clean up his mess and get you to a safe house," Cho told her; leave it up to Cho to know exactly what Jane was going to do.

"I'm on the phone with Bertram, he is getting everything set up for you boss," Rigsby said as he came up behind Cho.

"I want approval before you agree to anything," Jane stated as he removed his arm from Lisbon and got to his feet.

"Jane anything they get will be fine," Lisbon told him softy.

"Not when it comes to my family," Jane countered as he reach over and grabbed the phone out of Rigsby hand. "Gale, it's Jane. The safe house you are looking at I want approval..." Jane walked out of the bullpen with the phone leaving Lisbon with the team.

"I was thinking that it might take a while for Jane to approve a place so until then maybe you and I should go shopping," Grace piped up as she looked over at Lisbon. "Most of your stuff is in storage at this point except for the apartment which Jane would never allow us to get rid of,"

"That is a good idea, why did he keep the apartment after all the time I was gone?" Lisbon asked as she looked over at Grace.

"He knew you were coming back," Cho said simply as he headed back to his desk and picked up his phone in order to do damage control. Just then Jane walked back into the bullpen with the phone still next to his ear.

"No, that won't work. We need something that is away from the city with only one way to access," Jane told Bertram annoyed. "Gale, you and I both know you have a perfect summer getaway place so just give us the address to the place," Jane smiled over to Lisbon just as she rolled her eyes at him being his typical self. "Well, now that works, Rigsby will be the heading up this little plan of ours," Jane told Bertram as he walked over to Rigsby and handed him the phone. "For you," he then headed back to his couch to join Lisbon.

"You think you would have learned," Lisbon hissed just as he sat down.

"What?"

"To not push Bertram," she muttered.

"Actually he has been behaving himself since JJ showed up," Grace pointed out.

"Excuse me?" Lisbon said not sure if she was hearing Grace correctly.

"My dear it is possible for me to behave myself," Jane pointed out.

"You never behave yourself," she countered.

"I beg to differ."

"Name one time that you didn't cause trouble or paperwork for me."

"Well, there were those days that we were-"

"Don't you dare say another word," Lisbon warned him as the moments he was talking about flashed into her mind.

"See I can behave myself after all, it just matters what type of leverage you have on me," he smiled at her.

Lisbon shook her head just as Grace walked over to them. "You ready?"

"What is going on?" Jane asked as she noticed Grace had her purse.

"I'm going shopping with Grace for some new clothes," Lisbon told him but she hadn't moved

"That is a good idea, I'll watch JJ until you return," he told her as he reached over to take hold of their son. Lisbon jerked slightly away from Jane.

"He will be safe with me," Jane whispered against her ear but noticed that she didn't relax when Jane took JJ from her arms. "Is something wrong?"

"No, I'm happy," Lisbon replied as she got to her feet. Jane didn't believe for a moment she was but this was not the time or place to bring it up but he was sure it was something to do with her being held captive by Red John.

"Hmm, if my stuff is locked in storage does that mean you locked up my cards to?" Lisbon asked halfway through the bullpen. She looked back over at Jane who smiled and moved JJ so he was resting in the crook of his arm and then used his free hand to reach into his jacket pocket, pulled out his wallet and tossed it over to Lisbon.

"Use my cards."

"Jane, I shouldn't."

"I want to," he told her as he moved back and leaned against the couch with JJ safely in his arms.

"He already brought everything for JJ," Grace told her as she smiled over at the sight of Jane and JJ sitting together.

"He did?"

"Yes, and it is all at your apartment," he told her. "And when this is over we will head back there," he added before closing his eyes and resting a little. Lisbon stood there and took in the moment of the man she loved holding their son.

"We should get going," Grace urged her to move but Lisbon walked back over to the couch and placed a hand softy on Jane's cheek.

He opened his eyes. "Yes?"

"Thank you," she leaned over and kissed him on the lips well aware that they were in the middle of the bullpen. She pulled back bent down to kiss the top of JJ's forehead before straightening and heading back over to Grace.

If there was any lingering fear of leaving her son, she did her best to hide it.

* * *

Lisbon was waiting back at the bullpen, now in comfortable jeans and a simple t-shirt, sitting on Jane's couch with JJ in her lap. She didn't know how they did it but Jane walked in with a sly smile. "Are you ready to go?"

She raised an eyebrow. "You actually have a place?"

"You doubted it?"

"I doubt you all of the time," Lisbon admitted, "but I know you have a way of pulling things out of thin air when you need it."

Jane actually rolled his eyes at her comment. "Well you are welcome to stay here, that couch is comfortable."

She glared at him, rising to her feet. Their son was fast asleep in his mother's arms. "All right, where is the super secret safe house that you had to have final approval of?"

"Are you going to continue mocking me or do you want to see it?"

Lisbon smiled and grabbed her new duffel bag full of clothes and the black bag Jane had been using for their son. "Let's go."

It was an interesting situation. It was not the first time Lisbon had had to be privy to an escape route from the CBI, not even the first time she'd been the one in hiding. She crouched down in the back seat, keeping JJ clutched close so that both of them were out of sight. Jane forwent his normal car for something a lot less conspicuous.

They waited until they were out of the Sacramento area before Jane pulled over at a grocery store and helped her out of the car. "You're going to want more than take-out when we get there," Jane explained, "and JJ is going to need more than what is in that bag."

Lisbon grimaced at the name but held her tongue. She knew that letting Jane know how much the nickname irritated her would only spur him to use it more often, he was like a little boy like that.

In a strangely domestic scene the two of them steered through the grocery store together. They loaded up on necessities, bread, milk, eggs, soups, anything that was quick and easy for her to make in what was just supposed to be a temporary home. They also packed in diapers, formula, wipes and everything else that a three month old would need, it was a little daunting for Lisbon to walk down the baby aisle. For the first time she realized that she was an actual mom, she had to take care of this tiny baby and the facts were that she'd had no chance to prepare for this at all. Jane didn't seem to have the same anxieties, that wasn't much of a surprise, he actually did know what he was doing here.

Eventually everything was paid for though Lisbon balked at the final total, she could only hope the CBI was paying for this tab. Though Jane didn't seem to mind if they weren't.

It was another twenty-minute drive in the car before Jane pulled into a secluded little cabin in a beautiful forested area. "One road in, no place for people to come up from behind," she said noting the drop off just behind the home. "I see why you chose this place."

"Red John won't find you here, and if he does, you'll be able to see him coming," Jane stated.

"And I'll be armed," Lisbon replied, patting the sidearm she'd been given by Cho before she left. She had another in her ankle holster and a third hidden in her bag.

"Yes, at least three guns," Jane said and she rolled her eyes. She had no idea how Jane knew about stuff like that.

They quickly began to unload the car. Starting with the travel crib Jane had purchased right after JJ had been found and they set that up in the living room so that JJ could nap in peace while they finished unpacking. That meant getting the rest of the baby's stuff out, her own bag of toiletries and clothing and all of the groceries.

The place was small but had modern appliances and a washer and dryer so she wasn't going to be stuck in without the comfort of technology. Lisbon found the bedroom and put some of her clothes away. For a few minutes she just let herself sit on the bed and breathe in and out, it was hard being comfortable with being free. In a scary way she'd gotten used to being a captive, now suddenly all in one day…she wasn't.

She hated it. Hated being in a room with four walls and a door that locked. A part of her just wanted to stay outside where no one could lock her away ever again. There was more to it. So much had happened in the nearly year since she'd been gone, she didn't know if it was possible for her to catch up.

Lisbon finally made her way downstairs where Jane was fixing an easy and quick dinner of tomato soup and grilled cheese. He must have figured that she would need some form of comfort. "I need to call my brothers," Lisbon declared as soon as she walked in.

Jane turned around to look at her. "That's not a good idea right now, we have to keep you hidden."

"I haven't spoken to them in a year, do they even know I'm alive?"

"They know you are missing," Jane explained, "But we kept the particulars of you being found to ourselves. It would be easier to figure out how to break the trance without your brothers barging in as they are want to do."

"What about Joshua?"

He sighed heavily. "I thought you would want to tell them about him yourself."

She covered her eyes with her hands and shook her head. "Oh God, that's going to be insane. I'm alive, no longer hypnotized and I have a baby."

Jane smiled. "They are going to be happy for you."

Lisbon nodded and made her way over to the sink where she filled a glass with water. She took a sip but her hands were shaking a little and Jane noticed. He came up behind her and put a comforting hand on her shoulder. "You okay?"

"I was held captive for a year, gave birth, hypnotized and now suddenly I'm back," Lisbon snapped. "Of course I'm _not_ okay."

He turned her around to look at him and she saw a lot of pain there, a lot of grief and heartache too. "I'm sorry, Lisbon."

The frustration melted from her as she felt compelled to now comfort him. "It wasn't your fault, Jane."

"The game Red John is playing is with me, you were never supposed to become an accessory."

"You lost control of that the minute I became in charge of the taskforce."

"I put a target on your back the second I fell in love with you," Jane clarified.

His words warmed a small part of her heart; every time he said those words to her she felt them like shot of whiskey warming her insides. "You shouldn't regret love, Jane."

"I don't," he told her honestly, "I just regret the danger loving you has put you in."

"I made my own choices," Lisbon replied, "Anything that happened was because of my decisions and my mistakes."

Jane didn't say anything, she had a feeling he didn't agree with her at all. He walked over and turned off the stove, leaving the untouched food where it was. "Tell me what you are feeling."

It was a surprising request but his serious voice warned her that she should comply with him. "Like I'm still trapped," Lisbon admitted, "I feel like he is still watching me, that I can't really escape him. I'm not comfortable in my own skin anymore and…and don't close any doors okay?"

Jane raised an eyebrow at that. "What about the front door?"

She chewed on her lip and thought about it for a moment, deciding it was stupid to let her quirk keep her from being safe. Lisbon nodded. "But none of the others. If they are closed then…then they might be locked too."

He looked sad at her words but he simply nodded his head. "All right, no closed doors. That's fine." Then he walked over to her and pulled her into his arms, letting her rest her head on his chest. "Everything is going to be okay," he whispered. She knew he meant that, a part of her actually wondered if it might be true.

They didn't have the time to stand there and draw comfort from one another. JJ finally started to cry and Jane pulled away with a small smile. "He's hungry."

"Right. We should feed him."

"That might be a good idea." He smirked at her. "I'll get him, the formula is in the cabinet."

She watched Jane leave the kitchen with a new feeling of doubt. How hard could it be making a bottle for their baby? It hurt that she'd never been given the opportunity to nurse him and now it was too late for that. The container of formula was in the cabinet just like Jane suggested and took a look at the directions. Was she really supposed to boil water? How was she supposed to measure the ounces? How much could one baby eat anyways?"

"Jane!" Lisbon called out.

"Yeah?" He said, coming into the kitchen with the fussy baby in his arms.

She looked up at him helpless. "I don't know how to do this."

Jane actually smiled sweetly. "Okay, you take JJ and I'll show you."

"I'm so sorry," Lisbon murmured as she took the baby into her arms. "My brothers were past this stage when I raised them and I rarely see my nieces and nephews, I never really thought about—."

"Hey," Jane said, cutting her off, "It's okay. And this is simple. He usually eats about five ounces at a time so we'll start there."

He didn't go do the extra step of boiling the water, so Lisbon assumed the tap water was safe for their son, Jane wasn't one to take chances with those he truly loved. He showed her the proper amount of formula to put into the bottle and shook it up. Damn, that really was easy.

"Here," Jane held out the bottle for her. "You can feed him."

She looked at the bottle in his hand and reluctantly took it before holding it up to her baby's lips. JJ thrashed and turned away. "Oh come on, honey. Eat, you know you want to eat." But JJ didn't seem to listen to his mother, instead he continued to cry. "Oh God, Jane. Why won't he eat?"

"He will he just…"

Lisbon didn't give Jane time to explain but thrust both bottle and baby into Jane's arms before fleeing the kitchen. Now he was in a conundrum, he had a crying baby in his arms and crying woman in the living room.

He solved the matter of the crying baby quickly enough. A little patience and JJ finally latched onto the bottle. Jane kept a careful grip on the bottle before heading towards the living room where Lisbon was sitting on the sofa and indeed crying. Jane took a seat next to her, he would have liked to touch her but the baby was taking up that room. "Talk to me," he said softly.

She shook her head, still having her face buried in her hands and shaking with her cries. "I don't know how to do this."

"Do what?"

"Be a mother," Lisbon said, finally looking up. "I didn't have time to prepare. I didn't get to read any books, go to any classes…I didn't even have a nursery set up or anything. Nothing is ready for him."

"That's not your fault," Jane reminded her.

"I don't know how to feed him! Am I even holding him right? How am I supposed to take care of him when he…he doesn't even know me?"

"Hey," Jane said, "he will get to know you, just like he's beginning to get to know me."

"It's not the same," Lisbon replied, "you know what you are doing."

"You'll figure this out," Jane assured her, "it just takes time. It's overwhelming now but everything is going to get better once you get used to it. You love him, Teresa, that's all you need to know right now."

Lisbon turned her wet eyes to Jane. "I just feel like I've already failed him."

"You haven't…and you won't." Jane told her softly with a smile. He looked down at the baby quietly feeding in his arms and decided quickly that it was time Lisbon took over some of these duties herself. "Here," Jane said, carefully placing the baby in her arms, "Just hold him like that, keep it up for him…yes like that."

It was a bit awkward but Lisbon managed to hold JJ in her arms while keeping the bottle positioned so that he could easily feed from it. At first she felt anxious but after a few moments of watching her son calmly drink from the bottle, his green eyes looking up at his mother with adoration…and Lisbon felt that panic ease into pure love for this little boy. "Oh God, I missed you so much," Lisbon whispered, leaning down to kiss his forehead.

She was able to finish feeding JJ and Jane appeared with a burping rag, showing her the proper way to burp him. Then Lisbon was able to gently hold him for a few minutes as JJ blinked his eyes sleepily. "He's going back to sleep. Is that okay?"

Jane laughed softly. "That's mostly what they do at this age. Eat, sleep, cry and…you know."

Lisbon smiled and turned her attention back to JJ. In a few moments JJ was sound asleep in his mother's arms. She stood up and carefully placed him back in the crib, feeling a little better knowing that she'd don't something right by her child now. Jane was right, she could do this.

She walked back over the sofa and sat down next to Jane but she saw that in those few seconds his whole demeanor had changed. He wasn't as soft nor as peaceful, now he was sad and determined. "Lisbon…it's time to tell me what Red John did to you."

She sucked in her breath but didn't release it. Oh God…he was right. There was no way she could keep it all in to herself forever. But there was only so much she could tell…otherwise she knew she would lose him.

"I was kept in a small room the first couple of weeks, it was in a house, don't know where though. The windows were boarded up so I couldn't see. Most of the time I was kept tied to a chair."

Lisbon tucked her knees up to her chest. "I didn't see him much then. I mean he came to me right afterwards, preaching about his works, his people, his plans, but usually he was away. I never did actually _see _him, I was always blindfolded. I was watched after by Lorelei and a man named Jeffrey, they brought me my meals and little else. It took me a while to realize that the plan wasn't to kill me but something else…I think he wanted to break me then, why I don't really know. It doesn't really matter what his original plan for me was because all of that changed pretty quickly."

Jane was staring at her calmly. "When he found out you were pregnant." She just nodded looking away towards the travel crib where their son was sleeping. "What happened then?"

Lisbon sighed again. "I started getting sick. Honestly I thought it was just fear and maybe something they were slipping in my food…but I guess Red John had kept a careful watch on me. He knew I was late before I even realized it. I didn't even think that I might be pregnant until Lorelei and Jeffrey told me I had to take a pregnancy test."

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_ The room was twenty paces by fifteen, she learned that pretty quickly. The boards on the window were nailed from the outside; no way she could break them from here. The only light that the room had was the single bulb that hung from the ceiling. From what little she'd glimpsed of this place every time one of his lackeys brought her meals, she knew that the rest of the house wasn't this rundown. This was for show, all for her._

_ It was working, she felt dirty, rundown and alone. The only contact she got was when they brought her meals, water to sponge bathe or to take away her toilet bucket. She actually had a bucket to go to the bathroom in, like she was back in the 1800's. He really wanted to make her cut off from everything and every convenience._

_ It was worse now that it smelled like vomit; the bucket was full of her puke since she wasn't able to keep anything in. They were going to have to either stop poisoning her or get her something to soothe her because this bug didn't seem to be leaving anytime soon._

_ It was a big surprise when the door opened in the middle of the day, not the evening or the morning as the usual. Both Lorelei and Jeffrey were here. She honestly didn't know who she hated more, the tall beefy man who vaguely resembled a biker she'd had to shoot in San Francisco, or Lorelei…actually she knew the answer to that one already._

_ "Get up," Lorelei told her, showing off her big butcher knife._

_ "Why?" Lisbon asked, standing firm._

_ But they weren't going to take her stubbornness. Jeffrey hauled her to her feet and half carried her out of the room. She struggled but knew it was useless, she'd actually kicked this guy in the stomach last week and he hadn't even flinched. Perhaps Red John had taught him to control his pain or he really was like one of those half-mythical Bond villains._

_ He dropped her in the hallway outside of an open door that led to a half-bath that was at least clean even if it was pretty sparse. "What am I supposed to do now?"_

_ "Go in there and take this," Lorelei told her, pushing a small plastic wrapped thing in her hand. Lisbon looked it over and felt her heart skip a beat. A pregnancy test…Oh God._

_ It made sense. She'd been sick, dizzy and she was four days late. But no, no way, this was the worst possible time in the history of the world for this to happen. No, this was not happening."_

_ "No," Lisbon said quickly, shaking her head. "I'm not."_

_ "Take it."_

_ "No."_

_ "Do it," Lorelei told her, brandishing the knife._

_ "Threatening me isn't going to work," Lisbon scoffed._

_ Jeffrey didn't say anything but shoved her into the bathroom, she stumbled against the sink. But she glared at both of them through the open door. "Why do you think I'll take it?"_

_ Lorelei actually smiled now. "Because you want to know the answer…and you'll do anything to protect _them_."_

_ The threat was clear and true. Lisbon had no doubt that Red John was keeping a watchful eye on her team; he could hurt them easily if he wanted to. She swallowed heavily, caught like a rat in the trap. Lisbon shut the door, giving her some privacy. The lock was broken, what a surprise._

_ She stared at the test in her hand for a full minute. A part of her wondered if it was even necessary…but Lorelei had also been right about the other point. She did want to know the answer…even if it might mean that this whole situation was even worse than she thought._

_ They hadn't given her the directions but it wasn't difficult peeing on the stick. Then came the longest three minutes of her life as she waited for the answer._

_ And then it was there._

_ Shit._

_ It took a lot of willpower for her not to curl into a ball and cry right there but she wasn't broken yet. There was still strength inside of her and now she was determined to find a way out of this._

_ Lisbon was calm as she opened the door and faced her two captors. "What did it say?" Lorelei asked. Jeffrey had yet to say a word actually._

_ "No," Lisbon told her firmly, "I'm not saying."_

_ "Give it to me!"_

_ "No," Lisbon declared, keeping a tight grip on the test, she wasn't going to let them see it and now…now she would find a way to escape._

_ Lorelei came up to her with the knife, her teeth clinched. "Let me see it." She tried to grab Lisbon's arm but Lisbon evaded her. She wanted to knock that knife out of her hand and maybe make a run for it. She did enjoy punching her pretty face, that had been a fantasy she'd been harboring for awhile._

_ Jeffrey lunged for her now. She was quick, but he had long strides. She kicked at him but he grabbed her foot, and she fell forward onto the floor. He grabbed her arms painfully and forced her back onto her feet. Somehow she'd still managed to keep a grip on the test._

_ "Give it to me, bitch," Lorelei hissed, actually grinning as she made a shallow cut on Lisbon's arm with the knife._

_ "Stop!"_

_ The voice was loud and firm and one Lisbon recognized all too well._

_ She couldn't see Red John, he was standing behind her and Jeffery wasn't letting her go. "There is another way," he said gently, now much closer to them. Lisbon still couldn't see him. "Jeffrey, hold her still. Lorelei, you have my permission to kick her in the stomach."_

_ Lisbon gasped at the order while Lorelei smiled happily. "Of course."_

_ No, this wasn't good, if she did this…_

_ Lorelei stepped back, setting the stance to give a hard roundhouse kick. Lisbon felt her stomach lurch with a new kind of sickness._

_ "No!" she shouted quickly, "Don't…please…please don't." Her voice sounded weak and pathetic but maybe it worked. Because Lorelei stepped back and then Jeffrey released her._

_ For a few moments she let the tears spill down her cheeks, she knew she'd been far too honest here._

_ Then he was right behind her._

_ "You see, violence was not necessary, not when all one has to do is bring out instinct." She could hear the smile in his voice. "There is nothing more powerful than a mother's love for her child."_

_ Lisbon gasped as his hands touched her shoulders, then slid down her sides to rest firmly on her womb…his breath was hot in her ear. "Thank you for the present, my dear…I assure you I have marvelous plans for it."_

_ She choked on her breath and shook her head. "No…don't."_

_ Red John stepped away and Jeffrey took his place. "Let me go, please…just let me and my baby go," she begged, glancing behind her to see that the hallway was now empty._

_ Jeffrey dragged her like a rag doll back to the horrible room, leaving her hopes far behind her._

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She hated those memories when everything fell completely apart. It was one thing to be held captive on her own, but something else entirely when her baby was caught up in the storm as well. She had never felt more afraid than in those months as her stomach grew and her chances of escaping became slimmer and slimmer.

Jane put squeezed her hand, bringing her back to reality. There was more to the story, over seven months worth.

"Things changed after that," Lisbon explained, "they moved me to another house and I was kept in something that was like a basement apartment. It was all one room with a bed and toilet but it was certainly more comfortable then the other room they'd locked me in." The real toilet had come in handy with her morning sickness for sure.

"They fed me more and better food, I don't know how but they got me prenatal vitamins but I never did get to see a doctor, and Jeffrey and Lorelei were under orders not to hurt me anymore, no matter how belligerent I became."

Jane nodded. "It does seem strange to me that Lorelei was so hostile to you."

"She beat the shit out of you once."

"I'm referring the fact that she's the one who brought me JJ," Jane explained, "It doesn't seem to fit with her extreme loyalty to Red John."

Lisbon softened a little at that bit of news. "Lorelei and I…well she was the only one I could really talk to. I'm not saying that we are friends or that I wouldn't pull my gun out if I ever saw her again but…she was it."

When she looked up she was a bit surprised to see that Jane was looking more than a little uncomfortable. "What did you talk about?"

She shrugged. "The baby, me, you, you and me."

"Oh?" It took her a minute to realize why Jane was looking a little weirded out by this. When it dawned on her she couldn't help but smile. Well it wasn't her fault he had such poor choice in former lovers, even if he hadn't actually cared about Lorelei at all.

"No we didn't talk about _that_," Lisbon was quick to assure him, then her voice darkened. "Not that she wasn't willing, she had no shyness about it." Oh yes, Lorelei had enjoyed crowing about the fact that they shared a lover and Lisbon had no choice but to sit there and listen to it.

"She had nothing to brag about."

Lisbon met Jane's eyes, touched by that comment, soothing some of that jealousy. "No, even she admitted I'd always had more of you." She leaned in against his chest, wanting to feel his secure warmth. "She was fascinated by that…you and me, she kept asking me about love. Like it was something she couldn't really understand."

"She couldn't," Jane told her softly, "Not really. Red John twisted her so much that true love is entirely lost on her."

Lisbon nodded sadly. "Lorelei grew to really care about the baby though, she was excited about him. It was weird a little because here I was, a captive in this basement and she really wanted the baby. I don't think she really knew what Red John was planning though…none of us did."

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_ The pain started off in the mornings. It wasn't severe, something of a dull ache that went away fairly quickly. Around the afternoon the pain got sharper and Lisbon knew for sure that she was in labor. When she realized what was happening the panic set in. Oh God she was going to have the baby and she had no idea what to do!_

_ She didn't have much of a choice but to get their help. Lisbon pulled herself off of the bed and began the trek towards the door. She stopped halfway there, gritting her teeth through a fresh contraction. Right now all she wanted was to be in a hospital where there were drugs that could help her, she didn't even care about the nurses and doctors, just the drugs._

_ "Hey," she shouted and slapped her hand against the wall. "Lorelei…Jeffrey? Anybody?"_

_ She continued to bang and shout for a few minutes. Another contraction came and she leaned over, trying to keep standing through the pain. The door to the basement opened and Lorelei was there. "What is it?"_

_ Lisbon was still crouched over in pain but she managed to look up at her. "I'm in labor."_

_ Lorelei's eyes widened and the gravity of the situation sank in on her. "I'll be right back!" she declared, shutting and locking the door behind her._

_ She stared at the closed door and realized that her baby was about to born here…with him watching. God help them both._

_ Somehow she made it back to bed so she could lie down, she felt better lying down. After what seemed like hours Lorelei finally returned. She'd brought some towels and water but seemed almost as panicked as Lisbon, that wasn't much of a surprise, neither of them really knew what they were doing._

_ The contractions grew more frequent and more painful but there was little Lisbon could do about it. They didn't have anything for the pain, all she could do was use the limited amount of knowledge she had from listening to stories of her nieces and nephews' births and what she'd seen on TV. That meant she knew that breathing was important but she didn't know what the hell that even meant._

_"__Hail Mary, full of grace. Our Lord is with thee. Blessed art thou among women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death. Amen." She whispered the prayer over and over again, even as she groaned in pain. Sometimes switching, begging God to help her, to ease her pain, to protect her child._

_ She didn't know how long she was in labor before the door opened again and someone entirely knew walked into the room. An older woman wearing a simply smock, she looked calm which is already better than anyone else in the room._

_ "Who…who are you?" Lisbon asked, keeping the sheets clutched tightly in her balled up fists._

_ "Lisa," Lorelei told her gently, "she's a nurse, she's here to help."_

_ "Oh thank God," Lisbon said, leaning back against the bed. At least someone in this room would know something about delivering babies._

_ The pressure increased by the hour but she felt some relief when her water finally broke. That faded when the pain only intensified and the pressure returned tenfold when she felt the baby positioning for birth._

_ Lisa check up on her and sharply nodded her head. "It's time."_

_ Lisbon simply gaped at her for a moment, oh God it was time for the baby to finally be here. What would it be? She had no idea if she was having a boy or a girl. She didn't even know if it was healthy. She loved it though, loved it because it had been her only real companion for months._

_ She was forced to sit up so she could be in a good position to deliver. Then she felt her body urging her to push. The pain and pressure mounted as she worked to push the baby from her body. Sometimes she sat there and panted heavily while waiting for the next contraction, she never had to wait for less than a minute._

_ The next time she pushed she couldn't help but scream a little and she felt something coming out. "It's crowning."_

_ Lisbon gasped and tried to look down and see but that was foolish, she couldn't see what was between her legs. The next wave hit and Lisbon pushed once more, this time the pressure was gone just as she heard the tiny baby's cry._

_ "A boy," Lisa declared holding the baby up for Lisbon to see._

_ All she could do was stare at this little dark, wet child that was thrashing and crying. "Is it…is he okay?"_

_ Lisa nodded. "He's healthy." She cut the cord with a pair of surgical scissors before wrapping him up in a clean towel. Lisbon waited, watching with teary eyes until Lisa finally handed her the baby._

_ This was her first good look at her son and he was perfect. Dark hair and big eyes, he had the smallest fingers and toes she'd ever seen. "Hello," she whispered to her baby, "I'm so glad to finally meet you." Then she leaned in and whispered into his ear so that no one but her son could hear. "Your name is Joshua Anthony Jane, but don't tell anyone, not until we see your father again."_

_ She held her baby as Lisa helped her deliver the placenta and then clean things up a bit. Lisbon didn't really care that she was lying on soiled sheets, she was exhausted but she didn't want to sleep, she just wanted to stare at her baby boy._

_ "He's beautiful," Lorelei agreed._

_ Lisbon nodded, not really even noticing the woman. "He looks like me…but that only means he'll take after his father." That made her smile, what was she going to do with another Jane?_

_ "He's perfect."_

_ A chill ran through her as soon as she heard that voice. Lisbon looked up to see the masked figure of Red John standing just inside the doorway. She didn't have to see his face to know he was smiling. Lisbon clutched the baby tighter to her chest but even she knew that would be no protection for either one of them._

_ "Lorelei," Red John said softly, his eyes never left the baby. "Take the child."_

_ Lisbon stared at him and then turned her gaze to Lorelei and shook her head. To her credit, Lorelei looked almost as reluctant as her. But she reached down to do as he told. Lisbon didn't want to give up her baby, keeping a firm grip on him but Lorelei tugged him into her arms, causing the baby to cry._

_ "Now, bring him to me."_

_ "No," Lisbon said, "No, don't…give him back."_

_ Lorelei looked from Lisbon and then to her master, hesitating for the longest time. "Lorelei," Red John said again, this time his voice was firmer. "Bring me the child."_

_ She gave Lisbon one more sorrow filled look before slowly stepping towards the specter in black. He waited calmly until Lorelei came up to him and gently handed him the baby who was still crying. Red John held the baby in his arms, softly almost like a father. Then he looked up and met Lisbon's eyes. "Thank you, Agent Lisbon."_

_ Then he turned around, the baby still in his arms, and walked out of the door. "Come, Lorelei."_

_ "Wait!" Lisbon said, struggling to sit up in her bed. "When are you bringing him back?"_

_ Lorelei stood there dumbly for a moment, watching as Lisbon stumbled off of the bed and to her feet. Then she quietly whispered. "I'm sorry," before following Red John out of the room._

_ "No!" Lisbon shouted, and she tried to quicken her pace. "Bring him back! Bring me back my son!"_

_ But the door shut before she could reach it and the lock turned with finality._

_ "Bring him back!" She screamed, banging her fists against the door as she sobbed. "Bring him back! Bring him back!"_

_ But it was no use, she was too weak, too tired and she could no longer even hear her baby's cries._

_ Lisbon collapsed to the ground there and wailed the anguish only a mother that had lost her child could utter._

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She cried heavily at the memory of being that helpless woman, wailing for her newborn son. Jane pulled her into his arms, holding her close, his hand stroking her hair and back in a gentle manner. "Shhh," he whispered, "It's fine now."

"They took him away from me."

"I know," Jane told her, "But we have him back now, that's all that matters." He stood up, pulling her with him to her feet. "Come here," he led her over to the travel crib, still holding her close as she cried. "He's here, and safe…no one is going to take him from you again."

Lisbon clutched the rim of the crib and looked down at her sleeping child, feeling immediate relief at seeing her little boy and knowing that he was back in her arms…forever. "I didn't see him again until at the CBI," Lisbon continued softly, "but I asked…I asked every single day. I begged him but he only said that he had plans…that was it."

She looked up and met Jane's eyes once more. "I saw Red John more often in the weeks after Joshua's birth then I ever did. I was weak, tired and broken. I think he would put me into trances because there is a lot I don't remember."

Jane nodded. "He was preparing you. For that sophisticated level of hypnosis it would take time, effort and a very broken will."

She didn't say anything, just stared straight ahead. "Then one day he came into the basement and spoke to me…after that are flashes. Cho finding me. Sitting in the hospital. But nothing makes sense until you said our son's name and snapped me out of it."

He wrapped his arm around her and brought her to his chest, kissing her hair. "You're safe, Teresa. I'm going to keep both of you safe."

"I know," Lisbon replied, breathing in the scent of Jane. "And I'm not helpless anymore. I have a gun and I will _never_ let anyone take my son away from me again. I'll kill him first."

She felt Jane's soft smile and he nodded. "I believe you."

They stayed like that for a long time, their arms wrapped around each other as they watched their son breathe. Eventually JJ woke up needing to be changed and they settled into the role of being parents again. She worked on taking care of JJ, trying to get comfortable with this new position as mother. They also heated up the previously ignored food and ate even though neither one of them was particularly hungry. The hashing out of past trauma had a way of taking away one's appetite.

The evening passed much more calmly as both of them were reluctant to bring up the dark recent past. Instead they finished their meal, enjoyed the time that JJ was awake and watched some television on the small TV that had only about five channels working. The sun set and the moon rose, eventually it was a suitable time to call it a night.

"Take JJ and I'll bring the crib into the bedroom," Jane explained. She nodded, that made sense. They didn't have any baby monitors and there wasn't another bedroom here, it was best if JJ stayed with her. Besides…she liked the idea of her son being so close.

Jane put up the crib and she laid their son in it before pulling out the new sleepwear she'd bought and headed to the bathroom to change and get ready. She was happy to find that Jane was still in the bedroom, watching their son sleep. Lisbon smiled at him and sat down on the bed. "It's late," she remarked.

"You must be tired."

Not really she wasn't. She was keyed up actually…and a part of her was afraid to close her eyes and relive her past through her nightmares.

Jane walked close to her, giving her a gentle smile. She returned it, loving the fact that he was so close. "Will you stay?" she finally asked.

He gave her a cautious look. "If you want me to."

"I do."

He smiled at her again but her looked was decidedly more devious. She grabbed him by the lapels of his vest and pulled him down onto the bed. "Whoa," he said but didn't have time to finish, she was on top of him and kissing him passionately.

Jane was clearly caught off guard by this new action but he was a man and that meant he wasn't completely unopposed to being manhandled by Lisbon. Still, after a few moments he pushed her away. "Seriously? Now?"

She smiled coquettishly. "Why not?"

Jane reached up and tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. "Because you were just kidnapped for eleven months. You can't tell me there isn't some lingering trauma there."

Lisbon sighed; no she couldn't very well deny that. But she still wanted to do this. "I wasn't raped, Jane. No one touched me like that, mostly…I was alone. And I don't want to be alone anymore. What I want is to feel free again, to remind myself that I'm alive."

He raised an eyebrow. "And that means having wild passionate sex with me?"

She giggled. "It's a start." Lisbon leaned in close, their lips a hair's breadth apart. "Now are you going to deny me what I want?"

For a second all they did was lie their, feeling the warm breath fanning their faces and the pounding of their hearts. "I could never deny you anything, Teresa," Jane whispered huskily. Then he pulled her down to kiss her thoroughly.

They let their lips and tongues explore their passion while their hands roamed over familiar territory. She reached down and whisked her pajama top over her head, bearing her naked breasts to his gaze.

Jane groaned and leaned forward to taste the soft skin, leaving a trail of open-mouthed kisses, down her throat and then her chest until his lips circled one pink nipple. She gasped and pressed him closer, still straddling him, feeling his hard length right where she wanted him. Damn the clothing that separated them.

He gave the same sensual attention to her other breast and she was panting quickly with passion and lust. When she was thoroughly dazed, he stopped his ministrations and instead looked up to meet her eyes. "We might want to hurry this up before JJ wakes up."

"Then you better take your pants off."

Jane grinned, kissed her lightly on he lips before pushing her off of him so he could stand up and follow her orders. She took off her sleep shorts and panties, throwing them onto the floor, not even sure where they ended up in the end before posing seductively on the bed.

In a moment he was as naked as she was. Before he could crawl in with her, she'd grabbed his shoulders and did her best take-down-a-suspect news to have him pinned underneath her on the bed. "Cops and robbers, Lisbon?"

"Shut up, Jane," she growled before attacking his mouth with a vicious kiss, her hand moving down south the stroke and squeeze him. He was moaning within seconds and let his own hands roam to return the sensual favor.

The foreplay lasted about another thirty seconds; they had both been without each other for too long to be able to stand it. Lisbon pushed him back down on the bed before straddling him again and reaching down to guide him into her.

She cried out at the sensation while Jane groaned, they both took a moment to feel it, being joined together once more after so long apart. Then she began a slow torturous rhythm, riding him at a gentle and passionate pace.

Jane held her waist, pushing her down further onto him. Then he sat up, still buried inside of her, they both moaned at the new angle which had him hitting a particularly sensitive spot. The pace quickened after that, become fast and erratic as they both wanted to reach that peak quickly.

Lisbon was close, very close but she didn't go over the edge until Jane reached between them and found that nub of nerves right above the spot where they were joined. Then she cried out and clung to him, her nails digging into his biceps as she climaxed.

He kept pumping into her quickly, dragging out the aftershocks until she was quaking. Then he gave three more shallow thrusts before finding his own release with a low growl.

They stayed wrapped up in each other's arms as they both took the time to catch their breaths and come back down from their high. Jane smiled lovingly down at her and kissed the tip of her nose before lying back down on the bed, keeping her on top of him. He ran his fingers through her mussed and tangled hair. "Well, how are you feeling now?"

She huffed and laid her head on his chest. "Tired…free…alive."

"What a coincidence, so do I."

Lisbon laughed lightly but didn't move. She just wanted to stay like this because this was her safe house.

Jane's arms.

* * *

A/N: Whoo that was a fun way to end the chapter hehehe but we all know that it can't be smooth sailing. Lisbon has more trauma to deal with beyond her own fears of being a mom, you'll see next chapter that her captivity has taken its own toll on her.


	9. Assurance in the Face of Fear

Disclaimer: We own nothing

A/N Nerwen Aldarion: So sorry this took a while but there were mitigating circumstances, vacation, writer's block and Real Life LOL but here it is. A bit of drama and fluff before the storm starts. Just don't get too comfortable LOL

A/N Steele Simz: Been a while since we updated which I will take blame for. However, here is the next chapter and keep an eye out for an update on my story Red Cell.

**Anonymous Reviews: **

**Anna:** Awww thanks so much, sorry for the wait but we are glad that you like it!

**Anonymous:** was acting up when we posted those chapters, I hope you get the notification this time around. You'll see some of the scars from Lisbon's captivity in this chapter but there are more mysteries to be solved yet hehehe

**Jen:** Yeah we updated it really fast LOL. Well we are glad that we won you over at least

**Guest:** Sorry, I posted it so fast that Steele and I didn't get a chance to edit it as closely as we should have

**phoenixx:** LOL we almost changed JJ's name when we remembered that was LaRoche's name but we couldn't, it's too cute! Well Jane knows that Lisbon met RJ the first time, but he doesn't know ALL of the details, then again...neither do you.

**Dodge89:** LOL we'll have to look up that song LOL

**Anonymous: ** *Nerwen blushes* The worst part is that I can't refute it since Wages of Sin is going to be so M-rated LOL. Blame Steele, she keeps asking for monkey sex! LOL

* * *

Chapter 9: Assurance in the Face of Fear

For the first time in Lisbon's adult life her sleep was disturbed by the sound of an infant crying. Her first thought was where the hell had that baby had come from, it took her a minute to realize that she was not dreaming, there really was a baby crying and that was her son.

That meant she had to get up…now!

Lisbon opened her eyes in a panic, ready to get out of bed until she noticed that Jane's side was now empty. She looked up to see that Jane was standing by JJ's travel crib, now wearing his boxers, and gently lifting him up. "Shhhhh," Jane whispered to their son, "Let Mommy go back to sleep."

She smiled at the image. "It's a little late for that," she whispered. Jane grinned back at her before walking back over the bed with their son in his arms. "Is he hungry?"

"Yep," Jane replied, "like clockwork every couple of hours." He gently handed JJ back to his mother. "I'll get his bottle," Jane told her before kissing JJ and then her and getting up to leave.

Lisbon looked down at her son who was still whimpering and thrashing a little. "I know," she told him softly, "You're hungry but Daddy will be back in a few minutes."

She laid back against the bed, wrapping her arms around her son and letting him rest against her chest. "I dreamed about this. Do you remember? When we were in the basement I'd talk to you and tell you what I wanted. I wanted to hold you and talk to you and sing to you." Her lips quirked at that comment, "Okay, not that, you don't want to hear me sing."

JJ hiccupped but he wasn't crying anymore, he was calming down now as she stroked his back. He seemed to like her voice. "Do you remember me?" Lisbon wondered, "Do you remember my voice?" She leaned down to nuzzle his soft downy head. "Because I remember every time you kicked me, every time you turned over…I even remember when you had hiccups in my belly."

"Did you talk to him often?"

Lisbon looked up to see Jane in the doorway with a bottle in his hand. She smiled at him and shrugged. "I didn't have many options."

Jane crossed the room and sat back down onto the bed, handing her the bottle. "What did you tell him?"

She teased JJ's lips with the nipple of the bottle, this time he turned his head and latched on immediately. "I just talked. I told him that I was going to get us out of this…that you would find us. I would tell him about things I wanted." Lisbon smiled now and met Jane's eyes, "I used to imagine what the nursery would be for him, I wanted bright flowers and ladybugs if it was a girl. And for a boy, a circus theme with a mural with an elephant, a lion, a clown…everything. We could even paint the ceiling to make it look like a circus tent."

He raised an eyebrow leaning back against the pillows. "That sounds nice. Very detailed. Did you design your dream home too?"

She gave him an annoyed look. "Don't mock, I had to do _something_. I was stuck in that basement for months."

Jane didn't say anything but she knew he wasn't happy with that reminder. He reached up to lightly finger one of JJ's little hands, the baby's small little fingers splayed across his father's fingertip. "What else did you talk to him about?"

"You," Lisbon admitted, "I'd tell him stories about his daddy." She turned her eyes back to JJ and grinned. "Like the time Daddy got us trapped in a metal box that was taken to Mexico. Or when Daddy stole my car and abandoned me by an elephant."

"What about the time Mommy made me walk back to the CBI after she arrested the bus driver?" Jane asked cheekily.

"Nope, that one never came up."

He chuckled and leaned up to kiss her cheek softly. "Keep telling him stories," Jane said, "at least until he's old enough to make his own."

JJ finished off his bottle and went back to sleep a few minutes later. That allowed his parents to crawl back into bed to sleep a bit more themselves. She rested her head on Jane's chest, listening to his heavy breathing but she knew he wasn't asleep yet.

"I wanted a house. With at least three bedrooms and a big backyard so we could get him a sandbox and a swing set." Jane didn't say anything; the only hint that he was awake was him threading his fingers through her hair. "I want a patio where we can sit out and watch him play with iced tea and lemonade…that's what I want."

His fingers stopped their lulling pattern and he gently tugged her to meet his eyes. "You'll get it," he promised her and she knew he meant it.

Lisbon smiled and laid her head back down on his chest, ready to dream about summer evenings with her son and Jane.

A family.

* * *

"Staying late, Ron?" Grace asked she packed up her stuff for the evening.

"Have a few things to sign off on then I'll be calling it a night," he informed her without looking up from his paperwork.

"Goodnight," she gave him a smile and headed towards the elevator just as his cell phone beeped. He looked down at the phone then pressed the message button to check the new text he had received:

_Go down to the mailroom._

Ron looked up to see if anyone else was in the bullpen before getting to his feet and heading to the elevator himself. He waited for the doors to open, then walked in and pressed the number for the floor that was home to the mail room. His phone beeped again. He looked down at the new message.

_ Check the in box for your floor._

He looked up just as the doors opened; walking out he made his way to the mailroom. The place was deserted when he turned on the lights. Most mail had already been delivered for the day except for a few small items that got lost in the process. He made his way to the section that housed all of the mail for his floor and noticed a small brown envelope sitting on top, marked with his name on it. He picked it up and made his way back to the elevator. As soon as he got inside it he responded to the message.

_Got the package._

He waited for his next move.

_Head to security and disable the camera for your floor._

Ron pressed the button for the security floor and took a deep breath, it would be hard to get the guards away from the cameras so he could disable the camera. The elevator doors open and he made his way down to the security office; he knocked on the door softly.

One of the guards opened the door. "Yes?"

"I need you guys to do rounds around the whole building," Ron told him.

"We just did rounds," the guard explained.

"Do them again, we just had an agent returned after being missing for eleven months and you never know what else is waiting for us," Ron told him. "So do your rounds," he then ordered.

The guard glared at him for a second before opening the door completely and motioning the other guard to follow him, leaving just one sitting looking over the camera footage.

"Why don't you three do your rounds and I will stay and watch the cameras," Ron offered.

"Why?" The guard ask skeptic as he studied Ron.

"Just a suggestion," Ron shrugged as the guard shook as head and made his way down the hall with his partner in tow. Well, at least he would only need to deal with one guard. He walked into the room and studied the man before him, he was young and Ron was certain he hadn't seen him around before.

"Are you new?" Ron asked as he closed the door softly behind him.

"Just started," the guard replied without looking back.

"I see," Ron said as he grabbed the guard head and slammed it onto the table in front of him. The guard slumped against him and Ron pushed him away. "Got to learn not to turn your back on people."

Ron went about disabling the camera for the bullpen and then fixing it so when security did check out the camera it would show a loop for an earlier point in the evening. He finished his work just in enough time to see the guards checking out the final floor of their rounds. Getting to his feet he walked over to the guard and slapped him across the face, the guard blinked at him.

"What happened?"

"You blacked out, you should get yourself checked out," Ron informed him as he opened the door and may his way out of the office. He walked to the elevator and press the button, the doors open and he walked into. He pressed the button to his floor and then pulled out his cell phone and gave an update.

_Cameras are fixed._

He waited for a reply as the elevator opened to his floor. He made his way to the bullpen just as his phone beeped.

_Leave the package on Agent Cho's desk and leave._

Ron nodded and dropped the package on Cho's desk and then made his way out of the bullpen. He didn't use his phone again until he was out of the building and in his car.

_Job is done._

He waited for the reply.

_You have done well, keep up the good work._

Ron dropped the phone onto the passenger seat and made his way out of the CBI parking lot. He looked back in the rear view confident that no one would figure out what transpired this evening; they were clueless as much now as they were at the beginning.

* * *

The morning came swiftly for Jane and Lisbon with the sound of JJ crying being their alarm. The both managed to crawl out of bed with Lisbon opting for Jane's shirt, forcing Jane to admit he'd planned to stay the night all along since he'd brought a change of clothes. Lisbon decided to give JJ his breakfast while Jane fixed theirs; she wasn't surprised by the bacon and eggs but did warn him she liked her bacon blackened.

"Don't burn the toast," Lisbon warned him as she came back into the kitchen, holding a very awake JJ.

"Hmmm burn the bacon but not the toast," Jane remarked, "You're a complicated woman."

She rolled her eyes. "Yeah, because you're so simple."

He grinned and finished piling the eggs on their plates. She pulled the orange juice out of the fridge and set it on the table before heading back to the living room to put JJ in the bassinet while his parents enjoyed their breakfast.

They were still eating when they both heard the sound of the car pulling up at the driveway. Lisbon immediately jumped up to grab her gun while Jane remained relaxed. "It's Rigsby's shift," he assured her.

But Lisbon still peeked through the blinds to check, only relaxing when she saw the tall figure of her teammate. "I hate that I have to have a babysitter."

"You would do the same if it was me."

"You don't carry a gun."

"You also have a two month old to keep an eye on," Jane reminded her.

"I know that someone has to be here," Lisbon assured him, "it doesn't mean I have to like it." She set the gun back down on the small table by the sofa as Rigsby unlocked the door and stepped inside.

He was still chewing on his half eaten donut when he mumbled out a "Good morning." Then he stopped in his tracks when he saw his boss and nearly choked.

"You okay, Rigsby?" Lisbon asked, more than a little confused by his obvious discomfort. Rigsby was still coughing a bit and nodding his head. "Are you sure?"

"Uh huh," Rigsby replied but his eyes were darting away and he refused to look at her.

"What's wrong?" Lisbon asked, "Do I have something on my face?"

Jane was standing calmly by the breakfast table, taking another sip of orange juice. "You're still wearing my shirt," he told her.

Lisbon looked down and realized he was right. Not only did the deep v-neck show a bit more of her cleavage than Rigsby was used to, the shirt barely grazed the top of her thighs meaning he had an unobstructed view of her panties.

She glanced back up, feeling the blood rush to her face as she blushed a bright red. "I'm going to go change."

"Might I suggest pants?" Jane said, she smacked him as she rushed past him, tugging the shirt as low as it could go in an attempt to hide her assets…but that was mostly in vain.

He was still smiling a few moments after she left; Rigsby's embarrassed expression was almost as amusing as Lisbon's. Normally he might have enjoyed exploiting this situation but right now there were more pressing concerns. "Anything new come up?"

Rigsby managed to shake off the image of his half-naked boss and nod. "Something was left at the CBI this morning."

Jane stood up straighter, becoming all seriousness now. "What?"

"A tape," Rigsby explained, "It's got video on it, of Lisbon in the basement."

He pressed his lips into a tight line. Of course Red John wanted a reminder of what Lisbon had gone through, this was undoubtedly a reaction to him breaking Lisbon's trance. "I'll need to see it."

Rigsby nodded and might have said more but they both heard the sound of Lisbon hurrying from the bedroom. "Don't tell her," Jane warned just before Lisbon arrived now wearing jeans and a simple sweatshirt.

"I'm so sorry, Rigsby. The baby woke up and I…I wasn't thinking."

"It's fine," Rigsby assured her, now blushing again at the reminder of what he'd seen.

"Still, I'm sorry."

"I'm not," Jane piped in, "After last night? I'm not sorry in the least."

Rigsby looked even more uncomfortable and Lisbon hit Jane again. "Shut up, don't tell him about _that_."

"We have a son together and you pranced around in my shirt, I think Rigsby already knew."

She smacked him again. "Hush."

Jane laughed and leaned down to kiss her softly. "I'm going to the CBI."

Lisbon nodded. "You need to find him."

"I need to keep you safe."

"I'll be fine," Lisbon assured him, "but what if JJ needs you?"

"He has his mother," Jane reminded her but she wasn't so sure. It was true, she was JJ's mother but she also wasn't quite as sure about her ability to actually care for their son. "You'll do fine," Jane assured her, "don't worry about him." Then he grinned. "And you know you just called him JJ."

Lisbon paused for a second and then groaned. "Shit."

He laughed and kissed her again. "I told you, you brought it upon yourself."

"Because I named him Joshua?"

"Because you fell in love with me."

She grinned and nodded. "That was stupid of me. I'll try not to do that again." They might have continued to get sappy with one another and undoubtedly make poor Rigsby want to vomit. But the sound of their son crying ended that moment.

Lisbon sighed. "I guess that's your cue to leave."

Jane nodded, "I'll tell you what happens." Keeping to himself the fact that he would only tell her what she needed to know.

"Thanks," she replied picking up their son and holding him close. "I'll be safe here."

"Take care of my son."

She rolled her eyes again. "Go before I kick you out."

He was laughing as he left; it felt good after eleven months of hell. Like the pain had never been there at all.

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

Lisbon wasn't happy to be stuck with Rigsby all day but she also knew that she couldn't argue about it much. What was weird was how domestic this all was for her; kissing Jane goodbye while she stayed with the baby, how very 50's housewives of them. Well that was going to stop as soon as she could get back to work.

For now she had to play the part of being a mother, which was not only intimidating, but also more than a little frightening. She was still afraid and overwhelmed but every time she held JJ and saw his smile…that fear began to slowly ebb away. It was the same love that had taken over her when she first held her son in that basement months ago, only now she felt safe and secure that nothing would happen to him.

Rigsby was helpful in giving her a few tips about caring for an infant, Lisbon wondered if maybe Jane had planned this and suspected that she was right. He probably knew before she did that she had more she needed to learn. That irritated her but she was grateful too.

But the one thing she had a hard time getting right now were answers.

"What happened while I was gone?" Lisbon asked Rigsby as she fed JJ again.

Rigsby shrugged. "A few cases, we kept looking for you every chance we got."

"You know that isn't what I meant."

He looked a little upset by that. "We missed you, boss. We were scared and upset."

"How was Jane?"

Now Rigsby looked _really_ uncomfortable. "Jane was…Jane."

Lisbon gave him an annoyed looked. "I need a better answer than that."

"Maybe he should tell you."

"He wouldn't, that is why I asked you." The poor man obviously wanted to be anywhere but there at the moment, his eyes darted looking for a distraction but Lisbon was not about to let him get away with fleeing. "What happened with Jane?"

Rigsby shifted in his stance. "He went a little…crazy."

She frowned. "Crazy?"

"He started drinking…_a lot_. He even showed up to a crime scene drunk and got arrested."

Her mouth dropped open at that statement. It was hard for her to imagine Jane getting drunk…at least not unless it was a ploy. "Are you serious?"

Rigsby nodded. "We were worried he was going to do something stupid… or at least stupider than what he was already doing."

Lisbon shook her head. "What else did he do?"

Rigsby shrugged. "He was depressed, boss. He refused to listen to anyone, he was angry and upset and…guilty."

She put one hand over her eyes, trying to hide the tears that were forming. "Oh God…this is all my fault."

He put a hand on her shoulder in comfort. "It's not your fault Red John took you."

Lisbon looked away and sighed. "He's better now right?"

"Of course, once he got JJ he was happy again. Even more so when he finally got you out of your trance."

She smiled a little. "I knew that already."

Rigsby blushed, taking her meaning in an entirely different way which made her laugh a little. "I'm sorry, Rigsby, no more talk of that."

"Good," he said quickly, "I mean…I'm happy for you, boss and with JJ…"

"Some things are best left unsaid."

"Yes!"

They both laughed now and Lisbon felt whatever discomfort ease between them. She lightly traced one of JJ's cheeks with her fingertip. "This is magical," she said with wonder.

"Yes it is," Rigsby agreed.

She looked up and met his eyes. "I was so happy for you when Ben was born…and jealous too. I didn't think something like that would ever happen to me." She smiled again, "Like always…I didn't count on Jane."

"You never can," Rigsby agreed with a small smile.

Lisbon shook her head. "For once, being caught off guard was a good thing, a _very_ good thing."

"You should have seen Jane when he brought JJ to the CBI, the look on his face...after all those months of being lost he seemed to have finally found happiness again."

Lisbon nodded. "He seems better now…even before I left. I guess JJ can do that to people…he saved me too." She looked back down at her son. "He is a miracle."

"Yes, he is."

She smiled a bit. "I admit I get this feeling that he is going to turn out like Jane."

"Is that a bad thing?"

Lisbon shook her head with a grin. "No, but it will surely give me a run for my money, but I guess that comes with the territory since I chose Jane…or did he choose me? It's hard to say."

"At least no one won the bet," Rigsby muttered.

"There was a bet?"

Rigsby looked far away, "Uhhh…well…"

"Oh my God, Rigsby!"

"We never placed a bet, boss. I swear," Rigsby told her quickly, he actually looked a little afraid now.

"Oh really?" Lisbon asked, not believing in her team innocence for a second.

Rigsby knew the jig was up then. "It was all in good fun."

"Good fun, really? Rigsby I swear you tell me—." Lisbon never finished her sentence because at that moment JJ coughed and spit up on her shirt. She grimaced and handed JJ over to Rigsby before getting to her feet. "We will finish this conversation later."

She made her way to the bathroom where she could change her shirt and clean up a bit. This was something she was still getting used to, getting thrown up on at least four times a day. She kept forgetting that a burping rag was completely necessary, she would have to remember soon or all of her shirts would be covered in vomit.

Lisbon took one of her few clean shirts with her to the bathroom so she could wash the smell of sour milk off of her neck and put her now dirty shirt in the hamper. She was standing in just her bra when she heard Rigsby heading up the stairs. "Boss, JJ is asleep did you want me to get something for—."

"Jesus Christ, Rigsby!" she exclaimed, holding her shirt over her chest. Rigsby gaped at her, already having seen in her in her underwear, but he didn't want to see the matching set either.

"I'm sorry…I didn't know."

"Get out!"

"Yes, boss." He quickly hurried from the bathroom and instinctively closed the door behind him.

"Wait!" Lisbon said, "Don't close the door!" But it was too late, the door was shut behind her and once more she was stuck in a room that didn't seem to have a way out.

For a second she felt a small thrill of fear but she tampered that. _It's okay_, she reminded herself, _all you have to do is turn the knob and open the door._

But when she tried to do just that the knob refused to turn. Now she was getting very close to panicking. Lisbon frantically tried to open the door but it refused to budge. Oh God. Oh God. Oh God.

She was a captive again.

"Oh God," she repeated, tears spilling down her cheeks as she kept trying to turn the knob. "Let me out, please God, let me out."

But the door stayed shut.

"Help!" Lisbon shouted, banging her fist against the door, "please! Let me out! Let me go! Let me go!"

She as panicking now, her chest heaving and her whole body shaking. Her stomach tied up in a knot so tight that it was painful and her breakfast made a reappearance. Lisbon rushed over to the toilet and vomited, dry heaving when her stomach was empty.

"Boss?" Rigsby asked, "What's wrong?" Lisbon curled up on the floor, shaking like a frightened poodle. "What is it?" He asked again, banging on the door now.

"It's locked…I can't get out," she whimpered sadly.

"Just turn the lock."

But Lisbon shook her head. "I'm trapped. I can't get out. I can't get out. I can't get out."

"You _can_ get out, you just have to turn the lock."

Lisbon gasped for air again and again. "Rigsby, please, let me out. Let me out. I don't want to be trapped again!"

"Boss, I can't…"

She couldn't stop crying, couldn't stop shaking as she still sat curled up on the floor. There was a loud banging noise that she heard at a great distance and then a voice telling her to get up. She didn't care though.

Then she was suddenly lifted from the floor.

It took Lisbon a moment to realize that Rigsby was carrying her. He took her back out of the bathroom; past the broken door he'd kicked in and carried her all of the way to the living room before setting her on the couch. JJ was screaming now, the noise having woken him up but Lisbon didn't go to him.

She was still shaking.

Rigsby wasn't sure who to take care of first, the baby or the panicking mother. He chose to let JJ cry a bit while he went to fix Lisbon something warm to drink that might calm her down. While the coffee was brewing he did pick up JJ and tried to soothe him, Lisbon was still sitting on the sofa, shaking and staring straight ahead, her face streaked with tears.

JJ calmed down a bit but was still whimpering when Rigsby gave Lisbon a cup of coffee, she took it numbly, still not saying a word. He took the baby with him into the kitchen where he could privately call the one person who might be able to help.

Jane picked up after one ring. "Rigsby, what happened? Is everything all right?"

"I don't know," Rigsby admitted, ignoring the question of how Jane knew something was up. "Everything was okay but Lisbon accidently locked herself into the bathroom and then she just went crazy."

He was quiet for a second, a grave silence. "She doesn't like closed doors."

"I figured that out," Rigsby replied, "She was having a panic attack, she didn't even realize that all she had to do was turn the lock. I had to break down the door."

"But she's out now?"

"Yeah, I put her on the couch and gave her some coffee, she's just being very quiet now is all."

"Just leave her alone, let her calm down and don't upset her anymore. I'll be back when I can."

"I'm sorry, Jane."

"This isn't your fault, Rigsby," Jane told him honestly, "she's still a little traumatized, it's just something we have to deal with. You did the right thing here."

"Okay," Rigsby said, "I'll try and get her to talk again."

"Tell her I'll be there soon."

"I will."

Rigsby hung up the phone with a sight and turned his attention to the baby in his arms. "Your parents are a mess…both of them."

JJ gurgled and blinked his eyes sleepily.

He took the baby back into the living room, Lisbon hadn't moved but she didn't look like she was shaking as badly anymore. "You okay?" Rigsby asked.

She nodded. "Is he?"

"Yeah, the excitement just woke him up."

Lisbon looked guilty now. "I'm so sorry."

"It's okay," he told her, "you just…you were afraid."

"I panicked," she corrected him, "I was locked in a freaking bathroom from the inside, and I panicked."

"It's all right."

"No it's not," Lisbon told him, "I'm a cop, I'm stronger than this…but I was locked up for almost a year and that changed me. Now I'm scared. I'm scared of being locked up again; I'm scared for my son…I'm not used to this, Rigsby. I don't know how to be afraid _all_ of the time." She looked up at him. "How do I fix this?"

"You will," Rigsby replied softly, "it'll just take time."

She nodded but didn't look like she believed him. Still she met his eyes again. "Let me have my son," she said, "I'll put him back to sleep."

He smiled and handed JJ back into her arms. Lisbon gently rocked her son back and forth, keeping her eyes on him. "You're safe," she whispered to her little boy, "we are both safe."

Someday she would believe that.

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Jane left the CBI sooner than he intended but for a very good reason. He wanted to make sure that Lisbon was really okay after her panic attack earlier. Rigsby had called him back to assure him that she was doing better but Jane still didn't like that Lisbon was so fragile.

He picked up Lisbon's favorite doughnuts along the way, showing off the bag proudly as he walked inside the safe house. "I come bearing gifts."

Rigsby was in the living room; the television on one of the few channels while Lisbon peeked out from the kitchen, JJ in her arms. She raised an eyebrow at the bag in his hand. "You thought I needed comfort?"

"Of course not," he told her with a smile, "This is a bribe. I'll trade this for our son."

Lisbon knew that was a lie, he could see that clearly but she was at least amused by the cover up. She did hand JJ over to his father, taking the doughnut bag for herself. Jane let JJ rest against his chest and he kissed the top of his head. "Hello, little one, I missed you."

He glanced over to see that Lisbon was smiling at him, holding one doughnut with a bite taken out of it. Their eyes met and they shared a soft look, one that said they both adored seeing the other with their son.

Rigsby popped into the room before they could say anything else or bask in the moment for much longer. "Everything all right?"

"Just fine," Jane replied, "I'll stay with Lisbon, you can head back to the CBI."

"Grace was supposed to take the next shift."

"Tell her to take her time."

Rigsby looked a little suspicious of that comment though Jane hadn't intended for any kind of intimate meaning. He simply wanted some private time to speak to Lisbon and to hopefully wash away any lingering fears and pain from the unfortunate event earlier.

They remained quiet and still while Rigsby gathered his things and left, only JJ let out a few soft sighs as he settled in his father's arms. When the door was closed and the house was empty but for their own small family, they met each other's eyes again.

"I'm okay," Lisbon told him.

Jane laid his cheek against JJ's head. "You sure?"

"Well I'm not freaking out right now am I?" She was clearly annoyed and proved it by turning on her heel and heading back into the kitchen, as if that would end the conversation. But Jane followed her into the room, she still kept her back to him, grabbing a glass and filling it with cool tap water.

She took a long pull from it before setting the glass down on the counter, then she met his eyes again. "I don't know what happened."

"It was an accident," Jane offered.

"It was ridiculous," Lisbon countered, "I'm a grown woman, I know how to unlock a damn door."

"You were having a panic attack."

"Because of a door."

"Because you were reminded of being locked up for eleven months," Jane corrected, "After the hell you have been through it is understandable that you are still dealing with your fears."

She shook her head. "I don't want to be like this. I don't want to be this pathetic woman who falls apart because of four walls and a door. I'm better than this."

"You aren't pathetic."

"What do you call someone who is terrified of a locked door?"

"Someone who has gone through something traumatic and needs time to heal."

Lisbon just groaned again. "We don't have time to wait for me to get over this, Jane. Red John is out there waiting, planning his next move."

"I know that," Jane replied. JJ was stirring in his arms, one tiny hand reaching up to his father's slightly stubbled cheek. "But this is a problem that isn't going to go away and ignoring it will only make things worse."

She sighed heavily; tears were threatening to well up in her eyes. "I don't like this. I don't like what he took from me. First my life, then my son and now my strength."

Jane stepped forward, putting a hand on her shoulder and forcing her to look at him. "He hasn't taken anything away from you. You still have all of those things and you have me by your side, forever."

Lisbon smiled softly up at him. "Will I be able to survive forever with you?"

"You will," Jane told her, "_I_ might not, depending on how angry I get you on any given day." That made her chuckle a little and he pulled her in against his chest so he could softly kiss her lips. "This will get better," he said, "I promise."

She nodded. "I believe you." JJ let out a little coo which made his mother grin, "he made a mess of himself this afternoon. Can you show me how to bathe him?"

"Gladly.

Perhaps it was strange to be so happy and domestic in this messed up situation…but for Jane and Lisbon it was perfect.

* * *

Lisbon learned quickly on how to bathe JJ but the most amusing part was watching her son splash water with his feet anytime Jane got close to him. Jane smiled and pulled off his shirt as he finished helping her take care of JJ.

"He likes to watch the ducky float around," Jane stated as he used the washcloth softly across JJ body.

"What ducky?" Lisbon asked as she looked around the room.

"The one that is currently sitting at your house in the tub," he told her.

"My tub?"

"Hmm, yeah I sort of moved into your place," he told her matter-of-factly as he finished cleaning JJ.

"What?" Lisbon asked as she picked up JJ so she could dry him off.

"It made sense logically, my motel and attic was no placed for him and you had the space. Plus it is only temporary until I get you that dream house of yours," he told her as he handed her the baby soft towel.

"About the house, Jane I know I mentioned it last night but-" she started but he leaned over and kissed her.

"I was looking before I found you," he admitted.

That surprised her. "You were?"

"Yes, I knew I would find you and that you and JJ deserve a nice place to live," he told her as he got to his feet. Lisbon followed in suit and the two of them headed back into the bedroom so they could dress JJ in his pj's.

"It is funny," Lisbon said as she finished snapping the buttons on JJ's pajamas

"What?"

"This, it feels so natural," she said as she gestured to the three of them.

Jane grinned over at her. "I always knew you would be a good mother," he told her as he picked up JJ and brought him close to his chest. "Why don't you take a shower while I put him to sleep."

"Sure, you don't want me to wait for you?"

"As much as I would love to join you I think it would be better this way," he told her with a smile. She nodded and leaned up to kiss him before grabbing his discarded shirt from earlier this morning and heading to the shower. "You know that is my shirt."

"Yes, I'm well aware," she told him as she entered the bathroom leaving the door open.

"Your mother is going to be the death of me," he whispered to JJ.

"I heard that," Lisbon shouted and Jane just smiled as sat down on the bed with his son against his chest.

"So JJ what will it be tonight, a bedtime story or music?" Jane asked. JJ just cooed against his father chest. "All right let us try music." He got to his feet and headed over to the small alarm clock/radio, he turned it on and flipped through station before coming upon a jazz station. "My favorite."

"Jane?" Lisbon yelled from the bathroom.

He made his way over to the bathroom door. "Yes?"

"Did you turn on music?"

"Yes," he told her as he stepped away from the door and started to move softly to the music in hope that it would put JJ to sleep. He stood there for a while, getting lost in the music when he heard the shower turn off.

"Exposing him to jazz music?" she asked him as she stepped into the bedroom. Jane took in her appearance, her hair was still wet and of course she had slipped on his shirt.

"Well, I think it was a better option than Spice Girls," he winked at her and motioned to her to come closer. "Join us."

Lisbon nodded and moved over to him so he can wrap his free arm around her. Lisbon laid her head against his shoulder and watched JJ, who was sound asleep. Jane couldn't ask for a more perfect moment then the one he was having right now; the two most important people in his life were safe and sound in his arms.

"I love you," he whispered to her.

"I have always loved you, even when you were a pain," She leaned up and kissed him on the lips. "Let's go to bed."

"Let me just put JJ down," he told her as he moved away and put JJ down in his travel crib. He then placed the blanket around him and his toy tiger next to him. He then walked over to the side of the bed in which Lisbon had already settled into. "I'm going to take a quick shower and then I'll join you."

"Okay," she leaned over and gave him a quick kiss before he moved away.

He finished his shower, slipped back into his boxers and made his way to the bed. Turning off the side table lamp he crawled into bed and instantly Lisbon turned over and snuggled into his chest. He smiled and closed his eyes, thinking of the future that he planned on giving her and their son.

* * *

A/N: Awww hope you like family time with Jane and Lisbon LOL, enjoy it because things get VERY interesting next chapter when they find out the mole at the CBI and Jane gets a call from Red John with new information that he never suspected.


	10. Deception

Disclaimer: We own nothing

A/N Nerwen Aldarion: Hey this was a much shorter wait! LOL Be happy for that! This chapter just fell into place, including the scene which is rather M rated LOL we had fun writing this one. Just wait for the big ending!

A/N Steele Simz: Another chapter posted for you guys. I loved this chapter personally and I hope you do too.

**Anonymous Reviews:**

**jen: **LOL babies cry! LOL so he cries a lot, but he is so cute too LOL. You'll love us and hate us for this chapter, that's all we can say about it

**Guest: ** She's definitely not back to normal and she won't be for a while, you'll see a bit more of that in this chapter too.

* * *

Chapter 10: Deception

Something Lisbon loved was waking up to the sunlight streaming onto her face. It was no longer a cause for annoyance, no the bright light was a reminder that there was a window in her room. A window that opened up to the outside and the freedom beyond. It was something she was getting used to, this idea of freedom but she was slowly beginning to feel better. As long as the doors remained open.

She rolled over in the bed with a smile, luxuriating in the feel of safety. But the other side of the bed was empty and cold. Lisbon sat up and looked around. She was alone again. Being along wasn't something she particularly liked, not when she'd been without human contact excepting the bitch Lorelei and silent Jeffrey.

But it was okay. She had her son, she'd had her son for those nine long months and she had him now.

Lisbon sat up in the bed so she could look at the sleeping infant.

Except the crib was empty.

A sharp painful gasp escaped her lips as her heart immediately leapt into her throat. Lisbon jumped out of the bed and raced to the crib, hurriedly throwing off the blankets as if maybe her child was hiding under there. But he wasn't.

Her son was gone.

She rushed out of the room and down the steps, stumbling on the last one in her haste. Oh God. Where was he? Did Red John take him again? Oh God. Oh God. Oh God.

"JJ! JJ!" She called out, as if her two-month-old son would be able to answer her.

Lisbon ran from the kitchen to the living room, she found a few toys scattered on the floor but not her son. "Oh God!"

The screen door to the small back patio opened and Lisbon quickly grabbed the only weapon nearby, a kitchen knife and whirled around to face her intruder.

Jane was caught off guard by the weapon and took a step back. "Whoa, Lisbon it's just me."

She gasped out his name. "Jane," and dropped the knife on the counter. "JJ! He's gone! He's gone!"

"He's right here," Jane replied holding up their son. He'd been in Jane's arms the whole time. Right now he was quietly cooing, one hand waving up near his father's lips.

Lisbon choked out a sob and immediately crossed the few steps that separated her from her son and took him into his arms. She only felt truly better once JJ was held close to her chest. "Oh God, I was so afraid," she whispered into her son's soft hair before kissing the top of his head.

"You see," Jane told her, "he's fine." But now Lisbon glared at him and hit him on the shoulder, hard. "Ow!"

"How could you do that?! How could you take him away?"

"I didn't take him away, I took him outside. It's a beautiful morning."

Lisbon hit him again and Jane backed away to protect himself. "Without telling me?"

"You were asleep," he reminded her, "he woke up so I took him downstairs to give you a few extra minutes. I didn't think you would wake up this soon."

"Well I did. Don't you know what it felt like to wake up and find my son gone? I thought Red John had him again!"

Jane held up his hands in surrender. "I'm sorry, Teresa. I didn't mean for you to panic like that. I was just taking care of our son."

Lisbon's anger melted a little and she leaned back against the counter with a sigh. "Oh God, I'm going completely crazy. My son's father just takes him downstairs and I freak out."

"It's understandable," Jane said, stepping up beside her and pulling her close to his chest with one arm. "He was taken from you in the most terrible way imaginable, you'll have some separation anxiety."

"Along with a fear of closed doors and panic attacks," Lisbon pointed out, "I need to be locked up…again."

"No, you need more time and freedom. You'll feel safe again," he assured her, "and I'll be here to help you through this."

She snuggled up closer to his chest; he was the one that made her feel safe right now. Jane knew that too, she didn't have to say it. "Thank you," she whispered against his chest, then even softer, "sorry I hit you."

Jane actually grinned at that. "Which time? You've done it more than once."

Just for that, she smacked him again. This time JJ let out a little cry, now he was deciding to fuss. His mother bounced him in her arms, but did the normal check. "He needs to be changed."

"You want me to do it?" Jane offered but she shook her head. She wasn't going to let go of her son right now for anything.

Lisbon padded back up the stairs to the bedroom where the pile of diapers and baby wipes were waiting. "Okay, JJ. Let's change your diaper…and please don't pee on me this time."

JJ gurgled and Lisbon kept to the side just in case he did decide to give her another shower. But this time JJ was good and she was able to change her son without incident. Lisbon chose a cute little onesie with a lion on it that Grace had bought him. While JJ was occupied by his hands, Lisbon took that moment to quickly change out of Jane's shirt and into the jeans and t-shirt she'd bought a few days earlier. Then she scooped up her son and heading downstairs.

Before she reached the landing she heard the voices and was very glad she's had the foresight to change out of Jane's shirt.

The whole team was gathered around the kitchen with pastry boxes of donuts, bagels and bear claws set on the counter. Jane was the first one to see her and he just grinned, shaking his head as if to tell her that this wasn't his idea.

Grace saw her next and rushed over. "I'll trade you a bear claw for JJ."

"Uh…okay," Lisbon said even though she wasn't sure if she really wanted to let go of her son yet. But she didn't want anyone to know that she was having problems with that.

She took the bear claw from Grace after carefully handing over her son. The redhead immediately started cooing over JJ and then carried him over to show him off to Cho and Rigsby. Lisbon stepped around them to pour herself a glass of juice. She felt Jane's presence and he stepped up beside her. "Well at least this time you aren't wearing my shirt."

Lisbon blushed. "Hush," she told him before taking a sip of orange juice.

Jane chuckled and lightly traced her arm with his fingertip. "You don't have to worry about JJ, I won't let Red John take him again."

She looked into his eyes and nodded. "I know."

He smiled softly then there was a mischievous twinkle in his eyes. "But you might have to keep an eye on Grace. I could see her taking him."

Lisbon lightly smacked his chest and turned around to watch her team passing her son around. This was what she'd dreamed about all of those months of captivity.

And soon she would be okay again…soon.

* * *

"We need to get going," Cho told the rest of the team just as Jane finished cleaning up the leftovers from the team's breakfast.

"Yeah," Rigsby said as he handed JJ back to Lisbon who was more than happy to be holding her son again. As much as she enjoyed having the team cooing over her son she still didn't like him not being in her arms.

"Thanks for breakfast you guys," Lisbon told them as she got to her feet and brought JJ closer to her chest. JJ lifted a small hand up to his mother shirt collar and grabbed a fistful of the fabric.

"Always," Grace told her before giving Lisbon a quick hug and then placing a soft kiss on the top of JJ's head. "You are too adorable."

"I'm going to stay here," Jane told Cho as he looked over at Lisbon who had walked to the front door with Rigsby and Van Pelt. "Just let me know if anything comes up."

"Everything okay?" Cho asked with some concern.

"I just want to be with Lisbon and JJ today," he replied not wanting to let the second in command know what had happened earlier this morning.

"She had another panic attack," Cho said stoically as he watched Rigsby talk with Lisbon.

"Thanks for dropping by Cho," Jane told him with a smile and then motioned for him with his hand to head to the door. Cho nodded and headed to the front door, he bid Lisbon goodbye and then closed the door behind him.

"You are staying with me?" Lisbon asked as soon as the door closed.

Jane shook his head. "No."

"No?"

"I'm spending the day with my son and you," he clarified as he walked over to her. "Plus I think we could use some time together."

She gave him a disapproving look. "You should go, they need your help."

"You need me more."

"I can take care of myself."

"I have no doubts about that, my dear," he reached over and took JJ from her. "But I really hate leaving him."

"And when he falls asleep which I assume will be shortly, then what are you going to do?" The words tumbled out of her mouth before she could stop herself.

"I have some ideas," he said gleefully as he headed over to the couch with their son. Lisbon just shook her head and went to join him.

After about two hours of playing with their son JJ had started to fall asleep in his father's arms. Jane headed upstairs to place him in the travel crib and was about to head back downstairs when he turned and saw Lisbon in the doorway with her arms wrapped around her.

"What is it?" He asked concerned.

"Can I ask a favor?"

"Always?" He moved closer to her.

"Just hold me," she asked as she wrapped her arms around his sides and buried her head into his chest.

"Teresa, you are going to be fine, trust me," he rubbed her back with his hands.

"I hate not being in control," she whispered.

"I know and we will get over this," he reassured her. "You will get over this and have control over yourself and the team, just not me."

"Excuse me?" She asked as she pulled away from him a little.

"You have never been able to control me." he restated.

"I have to control you. If it wasn't for me then you would have been either dead or in prison by now for all the crap you have pulled over the years."

"That is what I wanted you to believe," he remarked as he leaned down to kiss her but she pushed away from him.

"You're insufferable," she told him before she started to walk away from him. He reach out and pulled her back causing a gasp to escape her lips as she turned to face him again.

"Then maybe you need to work harder on training me," he winked at her. "And I know the perfect place to start," he leaned over and started to kiss her neck as his hands went under her shirt and started to taunt her skin. Lisbon sighed and reached up and pulled his face to hers so she could kiss him on the lips. He smiled against them and started to walk backwards until he hit the bed, he fell back with her on top of him.

They both reveled in the feel of her straddling his waist, lying on top of his chest, skin only separated by layers of clothing. For a long while they played a little game of trading soft kisses, leaving them anywhere but on the mouth. Neck, cheek, ear, tip of the nose, but never the lips. It was a sweet game that was almost innocent but not quite, just enough to keep things interesting.

But Lisbon was well aware that as parents to a two month old, they had to manage their time wisely. So she ended the game by kissing Jane firmly on the lips, adding a bit of tongue so he knew she meant business. Jane got the message and made quick work, pulling off Lisbon's t-shirt and unhooking her bra before she'd even gotten to his vest buttons.

Eventually she did manage to wrestle his vest and shirt off which wasn't easy when the man started to do heavenly things to her breasts. It was even more difficult when he let his lips find one rosebud nipple. She moaned and buried her fingers in his curls, pressing him closer to her chest. Jane wasn't remiss, turning attention to the neglected breast. This time she writhed on top of him and her hips undulated against the hard length of him, causing an almost painful groan from Jane. Then he was in a frenzy, reaching down to jerk off her jeans and underwear in his haste.

It was Lisbon's turn to divulge Jane of his pants and underwear…but she had other ideas. She removed the impediments quickly but began to leave a trail of kisses over his chest and stomach towards her destination.

"Teresa…" he gasped which turned into a moan the moment she took him into her mouth.

Jane could only endure a full minute of her loving ministrations before he was tugging her back up to him. "Is that your way of controlling me?" he asked, practically panting.

"No," Lisbon replied, straightening up. "This is."

Then she sank down onto him.

Lisbon's groan mingled with Jane's as they both felt the intense pleasure of him filling every crevice inside of her. She whimpered a little as she adjusted to the feel; it was almost too much…and still not enough. Finally they were both as calm as they could be…until she lifted her hips and started to move.

True to her word, Lisbon took control. Placing her hands on his chest for leverage, she started a slow steady rhythm that was quickly driving them both insane. The pressure, the warmth, it was almost too much. She began to pick up speed, needing him to go deeper, faster. She was so close, her legs shaking and she began to lose pace.

It was almost a relief when Jane grabbed her hips and flipped her over onto her back. Then he set a new faster, harder pace and she moaned in bliss, meeting him thrust for thrust. When he reached between their bodies to rub the nub above their joining she came with a loud wail.

She was still shaking, the aftershocks quaking through her system when she felt Jane tense and then the warmth of his relief, giving her three more shallow thrusts before finally coming to a shaky stop.

They did little more than breathe heavily and smile at each other like idiots until their hearts stopped racing. Finally once Lisbon was able to talk again she gave him a mock glare. "I thought I was supposed to be in control here?"

Jane just grinned and nuzzled her ear. "And like always, I wrestle it away from you…and you enjoy every second."

Lisbon swatted at his shoulder but he laughed and rolled her back on top him so she was resting on his chest again. She sighed in happiness. "How long can we stay like this?"

"I'd say we have about ten minutes before JJ wakes up crying for his morning snack."

She shifted on his chest so she was looking into his eyes with a mischievous smile. "Ten minutes?"

Jane grinned back. "When did you suddenly become insatiable?"

"We have eleven months to catch up on," Lisbon reminded him.

He rolled her back over onto her back and kissed her again, making her blood sing once more from his passion. "Well then, we better get to it."

* * *

"Interesting," Cho said quietly from his desk.

"What?" Rigsby asked as he played with a small toy dinosaur. The team was bored with no new case and the clues leading to what happened to Lisbon were getting smaller, which mean clues leading to Red John were even more scarce.

"The security camera footage."

"What about them?" Rigsby placed the dinosaur down on his desk and looked over at Cho's computer.

"Something is off with them. See here, this shows a file sitting on Karl's desk but the next second the file is gone," Cho pointed out, Grace who had been listening to the conversation came over to see what Cho was talking about.

"I can see what the timestamps says but it looks like the footage has been tampered with," Grace told him before going back to her computer.

"So what does that mean?"

"It means that someone is covering their tracks," Cho told Rigsby.

"Who?"

"Most likely someone working for us," Grace answered as she looked up from her computer. "Only those working security have access to those cameras."

"So we question the security officers," Rigsby acknowledged as he got to his feet.

"No Wayne, because two of them are doing rounds and the third doesn't have access to the system," Grace stated.

The surprised Rigsby. "How do you know that?"

"It's on the footage," she replied.

"No, I meant about the third guard."

"Oh, he is new and hasn't been given access to the system, still in training," Grace answered. Rigsby huffed and then sat back down.

"We should still talk to the guards and see what they know," Cho told her as he got to his feet. "Grace, double check all the footage while Rigsby and I talk to the guards."

"Understood," she told him as Rigsby and Cho exited the bullpen. "Hey Ron?"

"Yes?"

"Did you happen to see anything strange that night?"

"Which night?"

"The one in which you stayed longer. Was anything out of the ordinary when you left?"

"No," Ron answered quickly. "I left not long after you."

"Okay," Grace replied and went back to work as Ron got to his feet and headed out of the bullpen.

"So you saw nothing?" Cho asked the guards.

"That is correct, Agent Ron asked us to do rounds again and we did," the guard replied.

"Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why did he have you do rounds again?" Rigsby asked as he looked over the guards office.

"He wanted to make sure everything was okay," the guard replied without looking away from the active security footage.

"Could the new guy have tampered with the footage?" Cho asked as he crossed his arms.

"No, my man had nothing to do with it," the guard turned around to look at Cho.

"How can you be so certain?" Rigsby asked sternly.

"Because when I left to do rounds your agent stayed with the new guy, when we came back the new guy was holding his head," the guard explained to him.

"Ron stayed in the room," Cho confirmed.

The guard nodded. "Yes and he wasn't here when we returned."

"Thanks," Cho told him and motioned Rigsby to follow him. As they got in the elevator Cho pulled out his phone as he pressed the button to the ground floor.

"Who are you calling?" Rigsby asked as the doors closed.

"Jane," Cho told him as he place the phone against his ear. "Call Van Pelt and have her meet us at the car." Rigsby nodded and pulled out his phone.

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

Jane heard a distance ringing, opening his eyes he found Lisbon curled against his side sound asleep. Sighing he turned over and reached for his phone.

"Hello?" Jane asked his voice full of sleep as he lay on his back. Lisbon has woken up by the ringing also; she turned over and snuggled back into his side as he listened to the person on the other line.

"Jane, we have a problem," Cho told him without saying hello.

"What?" Jane asked now wide-awake.

"We might know who the mole is."

"Who is he?" Jane asked as he sat up in bed. Lisbon did the same but pulled the sheet up to cover herself up.

"Ron."

"Are you serious?"

"We believe so, we are heading back there."

"Okay, thanks," Jane hung up and got out of bed, he grabbed his boxers and pulled them on.

"Jane what is going on?" Lisbon demanded.

"Nothing, just go back to sleep," he told her as he pulled on his pants and then put on his shirt.

Lisbon shook her head and started to get dressed quickly. "Tell me what is going on." "Everything will be fine," he told her as he exited the room and headed downstairs. Lisbon threw her shirt on and raced downstairs. He was heading to the front door when she grabbed his arm.

"Tell me!"

"It isn't important."

"Like hell it isn't, what was the call about and don't you dare lie to me," she tightened her grip on his arm.

"There is a tape."

"And?"

"A tape Red John took while he held you captive."

Lisbon released his armed and took a couple of steps back. "How long have you had the tape?"

"Not long."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't want to upset you," he replied.

"So you decided to keep me in the dark?" Lisbon yelled at him.

"I wanted to know where the tape came from," he tried to keep his voice even.

"And did you?"

"Yes, they team is coming back here with the identity of the person who placed that tape on Cho's desk, the one I believe that has been working for Red John all this time," Jane explained.

"Who?"

"Ron."

* * *

"Will you stop pacing?" Lisbon asked as Jane continued to pace in front of her and the door while waiting for the team to arrive; he had been doing it since he told her Ron was the mole.

"We need to get to him before Red John," Jane hissed as he stopped in front of the window and checked outside to see if Cho had pulled up yet.

"You have no actual proof that he works for Red John or is the mole," Lisbon told him as she sat on the floor with her son who was chewing on his toy lion.

"Proof? You want proof after everything Red John did to you?" Jane asked as he walked back over to her. "He took you for eleven months and Ron probably knew exactly where you were being held."

"Jane, he is an agent with the CBI," Lisbon breathed as she tried to keep her temper down. She didn't want to upset her son anymore today than the two of them had with their previous argument.

"Just because he is an agent doesn't mean he isn't dirty," Jane reminded her, "Remember O'Laughlin?" He headed back to the window and checked out the blinds again.

"You know what they say about a watched pot," Lisbon muttered under her breath before leaning down to blow a raspberry on JJ's stomach. JJ smiled and waved his both hands up towards his mother. Jane closed the blinds and turned to face her.

"You are great with him," Jane told her softly, "like I knew you would be," he headed to where Lisbon sat with JJ and dropped down to be with them. Lisbon backed away from JJ slowly and turned to look at Jane.

"No more secrets, okay?" Her eyes pleaded with him to agree.

"I can't promise that, Lisbon, you know that."

"Then we are in the same spot we were in before-"

"No, we aren't. I will tell you everything but there are secrets I will keep to protect you, JJ, and myself," he told her as he reached over with his hand and placed it softly on her cheek. Lisbon leaned into his hand and then put her hand over his.

"That is the best I'm going to get from you?"

"For now," he gave her cheek one more caress before getting to his feet and heading back to the window. "Where are they?"

"Jane it is a long drive from the CBI and with traffic," she reminded him as she picked up JJ and headed for the kitchen.

"Finally," Jane told her as he closed the blinds and headed over to the door. He waited until Rigsby was about to knock when he open the door. "What do you have?"

"Nice to see you too Jane," Rigsby told him as he moved past him carrying Grace's laptop case.

"We have very little time to get this done," Jane growled as he closed the door behind Cho and Grace.

"Here is the video footage that Ron tampered with," Grace told him as she loaded the footage.

Jane watched the footage in silence, his eyes never straying from the laptop. Lisbon glanced over a few time but JJ kept her focus with his squirming. Jane just remained intent on his goal. "We need to set him up," Jane told the group as he closed the laptop then took a seat at the table.

But Lisbon had other ideas. "I want to see the other tape," Lisbon said softly as she handed Grace the baby.

"No," Jane shook his head. "Nothing good will come from you watching that tape."

"Jane, that tape is of me."

"Exactly my point and I refuse to let you see what he did to you in those final months," he snapped as he got to his feet and walked the small distance to her. "I'm not going back there."

"You can't stop me from seeing that tape," Lisbon crossed her arms and stood straighter. The team shared uncomfortable looks with each other.

"Guys, is this the right time to argue?" Grace asked just as Lisbon was about to speak.

"Grace, you are right, so Cho tell me your plan," Jane turned his back on Lisbon and faced the team who had gathered at the table. He ignored her glare entirely.

"How did you know he has a plan?" Rigsby asked shocked.

"Because good old Cho always has a plan," Jane replied with a grin.

And of course he was right. "We need to plant information in Bertram's office about Lisbon then wait for Ron to take it and make our move," Cho explained.

"What kind of information?" Lisbon asked as she took a seat at the table. Grace offered her JJ back and Lisbon gave her a smile as she took hold of her son.

"We give him the location of the safe house," Jane stated calmly as he leaned against the counter.

"What?" The team asked in unison.

"Not this safe house but another. Red John wants to know where JJ is and if we mention in passing to Ron that we are giving the information to Bertram then he will break into Bertram office for the information," Jane explained his plan.

"No, something could go wrong," Lisbon responded as she started to rock JJ back and forth in her arms slowly.

"Like what? The plan is bulletproof-"

"Don't say that because your plans are never bulletproof," Lisbon told him as she cradled JJ closer.

"It is the best plan we have, boss," Rigsby added with a smile.

She glared at them all. "I still don't like it."

"Fair enough," Jane shrugged his shoulders. "We do this plan tonight."

"Tonight, why?"

"Because I want him found." Jane told her sternly before leaving the kitchen to head back upstairs. She almost rolled his eyes but instead shook her head; Jane was damn scary when he was trying to protect the people he cared about.

"Boss it will be okay," Cho told her reassuringly as he got to his feet and nodded to the team. Jane came down a few moments later.

"Grace, I want you to stay here with Lisbon," Jane told her as he headed back to Lisbon. "I'll be back later tonight when this is done."

"Be careful," she told him as before leaning up to kiss him. Jane nodded and gave her one last kiss before kissing JJ on the top of the head. "Cho?"

"Yes, boss?" Cho walked over to her as Jane headed to the front door.

"Watch him, please." She pleaded as she looked over at Jane.

"I will," Cho promised before heading to the door with the rest of the guys.

And now she was alone again. Oddly enough being locked in the bathroom and unable to control her emotions didn't make her feel this isolated. Now she really wasn't the one with the power, she wasn't even in control of what her team did or how to protect herself. In this instance...she was the liability.

"Want something to eat?" Grace asked as the door closed.

"No, I think I'm going to go sit outside on the deck with JJ," she told Grace as she got to her feet and left the kitchen.

"I'll be right here," Grace reminded her as she heard the door open and close.

It was beautiful outside and quiet except for the sound of the birds chirping. "JJ, your father is something else," she told JJ as she sat down on the chair that she assumed Jane had been sitting in earlier this morning. "He sometimes just doesn't know when to stop. But for whatever it is worth I love him and he gave me one of the greatest gifts on earth."

JJ cooed and looked up at his mother she smiled before continuing. "He gave me you."

* * *

"Hey Ron," Rigsby stated as him, Cho and Jane walked into the bullpen.

The target of their plan glanced up, none the wiser. "Where have you guys been?"

"Telling Bertram about the safe house we found for Lisbon and her son," Rigsby told him.

"Where is it?" Ron asked absently as he looked up from his paperwork.

"Oh, we can't tell you that," Jane told him as he walked over to the couch.

"Yes, we can, he is a fellow agent," Rigsby remarked as he took a seat at his desk. "What do you think, Cho?"

"Jane is right." Cho said stoically as he pulled out his book to read. Ron nodded and looked back at Jane.

"No offense, Ron, but Bertram is making the calls here," Jane told him as he lay down on his couch and closed his eyes as if there was nothing wrong at all.

"Well we have tickets tonight so see you later, Jane," Rigsby told him as he motioned Cho to follow him out of the bullpen.

"Bye," Jane called out as he got into a more comfortable position on his couch.

Now he waited.

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A few hours later Ron bid Jane a goodnight and headed to the elevator; Jane waited until he heard the doors close and then got off of the couch and followed Ron out. He waited until he was following Ron in his car to call Cho.

"Yeah?" Cho asked as he answered on the first ring.

"We should be there shortly, is everything ready?"

"Yes."

"Good," Jane hung up and focused on keeping his distance so Ron wouldn't get spooked. Ron pulled into the parking lot and left his car quickly. Jane gave him a few moments before he did the same, as Ron took the path to Bertram office Jane waited outside by his car.

Ron entered the office and looked around before turning on the lights. He walked over to the desk and started to search for the papers giving the current safe house that Lisbon would be staying at. Suddenly the door behind him opened; Cho and Rigsby walked in.

"What are you looking for Ron?" Rigsby asked as he stopped near Bertram's desk.

"A case file," Ron replied a little skittish, he knew something was wrong, "What are you doing here?"

"Catching a mole," Cho answered as he took a step towards Ron.

"A mole?"

He nodded. "Yes, you placed that tape on my desk."

"What tape?"

"The only that Red John took of Lisbon when he held her captive," Rigsby hissed as Ron started to back up.

"You can't prove any of it."

"The timestamps on the footage is enough proof," Cho told him as he rested his hand on his gun. "And you searching for her location seals it."

"No," Ron shook his head and took off running out of the office and down the stairs; Cho and Rigsby took chase after him. Their yells for him to stop alerted the guard on the first floor who blocked the front exit forcing Ron to go out the back way. He slammed the fire exit door open, sounding the alarm before taking off to his car.

"Running are we?" Jane asked causing Ron to come to a halt in front of him.

"You set me up," Ron spat at Jane.

"Where is he?" Jane growled as he made a move toward Ron.

"Or what?"

"I shoot you," Jane told him calmly as he patted his jacket pocket.

"Yeah, right you don't have a gun."

Jane put his hand in his pocket and pulled out the gun he'd been hiding. "Tell me where he is, Ron."

He took a step back, his face turning rather calm all of a sudden. "Why would I give you his name?"

"Because he is the serial killer who killed my wife and child then kidnapped the woman I love and has gone after my son," Jane growled as he lifted the gun. "Tell me."

"You are so blind," Ron laughed bitterly as he looked at Jane. "You have no clue what is going on."

Jane took a step forward. "Tell me."

"I won't give you his name so you might as well shoot me," Ron told him as he reached back behind him.

"Drop the weapon," Cho yelled as he came into view.

"Go to hell," Ron said as he placed the gun to his head and pulled the trigger.

"No!" Jane yelled as he watched Ron fall to the ground.

* * *

The hurricane that followed was enormous. Bertram wasn't happy that a CBI agent was killed in the parking lot of his office. He really didn't like that Jane had started another plan to catch Red John without telling him but Jane didn't care.

They were all back at the bullpen trying to sort through the mess and maybe salvage some kind of lead to keep Lisbon safe. Jane was on the couch staring, thinking about what was going on. Those final moments where he'd had another chance to finally end all of this…and it was gone once again.

"We're looking for Ron's files," Rigsby said, even though Jane was barely hearing him, "maybe we'll find a connection to Red John."

Jane doubted that. Red John was far too clever to leave a trail.

"Lisbon wants to know what's going on," Cho said, hanging up his phone as he stepped into the room.

"I'll talk to her when I see her," Jane explained.

Cho met his eyes. "Do we need to move her?"

"Not yet," Jane told him, "Red John still doesn't know where she is. Better to keep her where she is than risk Red John finding her in transit."

They all nodded just as Jane's phone began to ring. He honestly expected it to be Lisbon demanding an update on everything that was happening. But he was surprised to see that the number was blocked. He felt a thrill as he clicked the button to answer it; perhaps it was someone else entirely.

"This is Patrick Jane," he said smoothly and waited for the reply.

"Very good, Patrick," the all too familiar voice of Red John spoke with admiration. "A shame what happened to Ron, he was very loyal."

Jane turned his back on the suspicious eyes of the team, keeping his voice low. "I suppose he had no choice, he failed…and so did you."

"For now, the game is still going on."

"You are not going to get Lisbon or my son."

"Now you are falling for the same mistakes that doomed your wife and daughter," Red John replied, "you should have learned not to make pronouncements when you don't have all of the facts."

"I am stating the truth," Jane told him coldly, "I will protect them both."

"A man in love will do many things, your loyalty to her is inspiring."

"Then you know that this game is going to end this time…with you dead."

"Because of revenge or love?"

"Does it matter?"

"Of course it does," Red John explained, "we both know that love is a far more noble reason. But love for whom?"

"My family," Jane told him, "both of them. I won't let you take them away a third time."

"Third?" Red John asked and then he laughed, "Oh I see, kidnapping Agent Lisbon." He laughed lightly again, "Apparently the woman you love hasn't been quite as honest as you think."

"What do you mean?"

"I didn't kidnap Agent Lisbon, Patrick. She came with me willingly."

Jane was completely stunned by that statement, a cold chill running through him. "You're lying."

"I assure you I am not. But you know who you can talk to and see that for yourself." The line went dead and for once Jane didn't care that Red John had disappeared without a trace again.

"What was that?" Cho asked, Jane still hadn't turned around. He heard Cho stand up from his desk. "That was him wasn't it?"

Jane nodded his head and finally turned to meet his eyes. The two of them stared at him with questioning eyes. "What did he say?"

"A puzzle," Jane told them, "one that Lisbon knows the answer to."

He didn't give them any other explanation but left he room quickly. He wanted that answer now.

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Lisbon was slowly getting used to the brand new role of being a mother. She had plenty of time now that she was in hiding and left with her son for most of the day. Usually someone on her team was there to watch the place with her but with the exception of Rigsby, none of them knew how to take care of an infant. But Jane always came in the evenings at the very least to help her with their son.

"Is he hungry yet?" Grace asked as she stepped into the living room.

Lisbon grinned up at her. "Do you hear him crying?" JJ was in fact resting peacefully on her lap, enjoying his evening nap.

"Guess not," she said with a smile. Grace reached down to gently stroke the top of his downy head. "He's precious."

She nodded. "Hopefully he got more than just his looks from me, I don't know if I'll survive two Janes."

They didn't get the chance to continue the conversation. The sound of a car pulling up outside alerted them both. Grace pulled out her gun but Lisbon had to set JJ down before doing the same. That gave Grace the time to get to the window and peek out. She breathed a sigh of relief and lowered her weapon. "It's Jane."

Lisbon put her gun away and picked up JJ again. She was a little surprised that Jane was here so early but that was no matter, she was always glad to see him. In a moment Jane was unlocking the door and walking in, immediately setting his sights on her. "Hey," she told him with a smile, "JJ just went to sleep, he'll be out for another hour at least."

Jane nodded but she saw he didn't look calm at all…no he was very serious. "Grace, you can go. I'll watch the place tonight."

Grace's gaze darted from Jane to Lisbon and back again. Lisbon didn't take her eyes off him, her smile faltering. Something was wrong, very wrong.

"Okay," Grace said softly, sensing that Jane really wanted to have a private talk with her boss. "Rigsby has the morning shift so I'll see you later." She looked at each of them with a confused gaze one last time before quietly leaving the house.

Now Lisbon and Jane simply stared at one another as she tried to figure out what had him looking so…angry.

"What is it?" Lisbon asked, "What happened?"

"Put JJ down," Jane told her, his words were clipped, making it clear that she should do as he said. She set the sleeping baby down in the portable bassinet Jane had gotten him before looking back up.

"What is going on, Jane?"

His gaze was cold and unyielding, he was holding himself back. He hadn't done that since they'd started sleeping together. This was strange…and frightening.

"Red John called me."

Lisbon was shocked but kept her composure, her eyes widening in surprise. "What did he say?"

"He congratulated me on foiling his attempt to find you." Jane explained, "And I told him that I wasn't going to let him take away you or JJ."

"I'm sure he disagreed."

Jane didn't say anything but gave her a strange look. "He told me that I didn't know everything."

"He's talking in riddles."

"Perhaps," But Jane's tone meant he wasn't so sure. He took a step closer so he was right in front of her, staring at her with a piercing gaze. "He also told me that he didn't kidnap you. You went with him willingly."

Lisbon could do nothing but gape at him, her heart leaping to her throat.

"Of course I told him he was lying," Jane continued, "but I want to hear it from you first."

She swallowed, unable to turn her eyes away from him. All she could do was stare as she felt the walls closing in.

"Tell me, Lisbon," Jane said calmly, "Tell me you did not go with him."

But Lisbon knew she didn't have to say anything…he'd figured out her answer already.

She watched as his eyes turned chillingly cold with anger and outrage. "No," he said softly, shaking his head. "No."

"It's not what you think," Lisbon told him quickly. She put two hands on his arm but he jerked away and out of her reach.

"Oh really? You allied with the man I've been hunting for ten years, what exactly am I supposed to think?"

"It wasn't an alliance."

"Then why did you go with him?" Jane asked, "How exactly am I supposed to trust everything you say now that you are one of them?"

"I am _not_ them!"

"Then what are you?"

She glared at him feeling some anger now that he was doubting her; even after everything they had been through and shared. "I'm the mother of your son."

"That's why I'm giving you the chance to explain before I get you to tell me where Red John is."

"I don't know where he is!" Lisbon hissed, "I'm on your side."

"Prove it." Jane ordered, "Tell me why you went with him."

"To save you!"

He was clearly surprised by that statement, for a moment the anger left his eyes for something else but she didn't have a chance to identify it. Lisbon took the moment to explain. "When we met at the warehouse, we talked about you."

"You told me that."

"We talked about the game he was playing with you and I asked him what it would take to make him stop," she continued, "He said that there were two options: one of you would die or you would join him." Lisbon met Jane's eyes. "I suppose there's no need to tell you which option he preferred."

Jane's gaze was cold again, but he remained silent. At least it meant he was listening.

"To be perfectly honest, I'd rather see you dead than as one of his pawns," Lisbon explained, "and I didn't want him hurting you anymore. I asked him what had to happen to make him stop trying to turn you…he told me 'a trade'."

There was a flash of understanding in his face; Jane knew where this was going. But there was no doubt in her mind that he was still angry…perhaps even more so now.

"We made a deal," Lisbon told him, "he wanted me. But I wanted a chance to be with you before I lost you forever…to know what it was like to be loved by you…Red John agreed to give me some time. He would send me a message and I had to go with him then…and that's what I did."

Jane stared at her for a very long time then nodded his head…but it wasn't an agreement. "And JJ…what role did he play in this?"

"What are you talking about?"

"He wanted my child. Was that a part of the deal?"

At first all she could do was gape at him…then she was filled with rage. The next thing she knew she'd slapped him across the face. "You son of a bitch! How could you even say that?"

Jane felt his cheek but turned his cold eyes back on her. "You aren't answering the question. Did I strike a nerve?" She made to strike him again but Jane grabbed her wrist in a tight grip. "It's time you started being honest."

"I am," Lisbon spat out.

"Then answer the question." He released her quickly and she stumbled back a step.

She glared at him. "No, JJ wasn't a part of the deal. I had no idea I was pregnant when I went with him."

"And I'm supposed to believe that?"

"God dammit, Jane. I was locked up in a basement for nine months only to have my son ripped from my arms, do you really think I would have let that happen if I'd known I was pregnant?"

"So what would you have done?"

Lisbon leveled her eyes with him. "I wouldn't have gone to him, I would have told you what was going on because…because I was in over my head."

"Yes you were," Jane agreed. "Red John never intended to kill you."

"I know that now," she said, "he wanted to turn me, if only to torture you. But when he found out I was pregnant he changed his plans." Lisbon turned sorrow filled eyes up to his. "I thought I was protecting you."

"By going with him?"

"By giving you a chance to be free of him," Lisbon explained. "He wants a life, yours. I simply gave him another option. He knows that you aren't willing to sacrifice me…but I am."

"So that was your plan?" Jane said bitterly, "Give up your life in exchange for mine? That's brilliant…letting me lose the one person I need to survive."

Lisbon shook her head. "I thought…"

"No, you weren't _thinking_. If you had you would have known that Red John was playing you. This deal wasn't to 'save me' but rather another way to keep up the game. He wouldn't have killed you, he was going to brainwash you and send you back to me to torment me. That was his plan."

She sat down numbly on the sofa, letting the weight of his words sink down on her. She knew he was right; her misguided act of heroism had actually done far more harm then good. There was one saving grace.

"He failed," Lisbon reminded him softly.

Jane nodded. "Because you were pregnant…and then you got our son involved in all of this."

"I didn't know."

He shook his head. "That doesn't matter. He had our son, he held him, had his hands on him, had plans for him…and you gave him to Red John."

"No…no I didn't," she protested.

"You handed yourself over…while you were pregnant with my child," Jane reminded her, "How else do you want to say it?"

Jane didn't give her the chance to explain herself…not that she had one anyways. Instead he gave her another long cold look before heading in the direction of the kitchen, leaving her alone with their sleeping son.

He was right. This was all her fault; she'd gotten in over her head and brought this upon herself. But that wasn't her greatest sin.

She'd put her son in danger…and she couldn't blame Jane if he couldn't forgive her for that.

* * *

A/N: Hehehe it was all the plan! Lisbon was never kidnapped actually but she actually made deal with Red John, go back to the first chapter and remember the "trade" hehehe.

Hope you liked this chapter, in the next one Jane and Lisbon have to try to come to grips with the secrets they have been keeping from each other and the fight to protect their son only intensifies.


	11. Truth Be Told

Disclaimer: We own nothing

A/N Nerwen Aldarion: this chapter just fell into place, probably because Steele and I were having far too much fun being evil LOL

A/N Steele Simz: Another update. I just want to say thank you for all the reviews and please check out my new story Red Pawn.

**Anonymous Reviews:**

**Vice-Loser:** LOL you still have some catching up to do, enjoy!

**Anna: **LOL no Lisbon didn't agree to give up her child, she isn't Rumplestiltskin but she did agree to trade her own life. But getting pregnant changed the whole game

**Anonymous: **LOL glad you enjoyed it, Steele insisted on a smut scene there LOL

* * *

Chapter 11: Truth Be Told

Jane had stayed in the kitchen avoiding her completely until she got up and headed to the kitchen. His back was to her when she entered the kitchen.

"I'm heading to bed," she told him softly. He didn't make a sound or movement. Lisbon sighed and bid him a goodnight before walking out, she stopped and picked up JJ before she headed upstairs. After placing JJ in his crib, she got ready for bed. As she crawled in between the sheets she could see the lights downstairs turn off, she hoped Jane would join her but deep down she knew that she would be alone for the night.

As she lay in bed she thought back to all of the days she had prayed to be in his arms again, to be held by him at night. Jane might run from some dangers while she went head first into them but at night she felt protected by him; being held captive had made her realize that much. She closed her eyes as her mind drift back to a night that she wished she could take back.

_Lisbon was safely tucked against Jane side and sound asleep when she heard the shrill of her cell phone on the table. Reaching out a hand she blindly grabbed the phone, click the answer button and placed it against her ear. _

_ "Hello?" Her voice was full of sleep and she wasn't sure the person on the other line had heard her until they finally spoke. _

_ "It is time." A high-pitch familiar voice greeted her. Her eyes shot open just as she jumped causing a naked Jane to stir next to her. _

_ "What is it?" He asked as he opened one eye to look at her. _

_ Lisbon placed a hand over the phone and spoke to Jane. "Nothing, just go back to sleep okay." _

_ "Mmh, okay." Jane muttered and fell back asleep. Getting out of bed she grabbed Jane's shirt before walking out of the room and quietly closed the door so Jane wouldn't hear her. She placed the phone down on the floor and slipped into Jane's shirt before picking the phone up again._

_ "It can't be time."_

_ "It is."_

_ "Please, just give me a little more time." _

_ "That wasn't part of our arrangement, agent." _

_ "I know but I'm giving up my life for him the least you can do is give me a little more time." Lisbon tried to bargain with him. _

_ "This is not a negotiation. If you refuse to leave now then I will be force to take action." _

_ "What are you talking about?" Lisbon asked confused. _

_ "I will kill everyone you care about, starting with the person sharing your bed tonight," the high-pitch voiced warned._

_ Lisbon gasped and tore the phone away from her head before sliding down the hallway. She couldn't risk the lives of everyone around her. She felt the tears forming at the corners of her eyes as she brought the phone to her ear again. "What do you want me to do?"_

_ "Meet me outside." He hung up the phone and Lisbon got to her feet. She went back into the room and in the dark grabbed some clothes then went to the bathroom and changed. After changing her clothes she made her way back into the bedroom and placed Jane's shirt on the bed then walked over to him. Leaning down she placed a kiss on his lips, he stirred briefly but didn't wake. She was grateful that she made him take a sleeping pill the night before in order for him to get some much needed sleep. She headed to the bedroom door and was about to walk out when she turned back and looked at the man sleeping in her bed. _

_ "Forgive." She whispered than walked out of the room. _

_ She made her way outside of her apartment and notice a car was idling in the parking lot. The car back windows have been tinted and she couldn't see through them. The front ones revealed a man who noticed her and got out of the car. He walked over to her with a plastic bag in his hand. _

_ "I need your phone, gun, wallet, etc." He ordered. _

_ "Where is your boss?" _

_ "Don't make me repeat myself." The man said as he held out the baggy to her. She dropped her gun, badge, wallet, phone, and keys into the bag._

_ "And your necklace."_

_ "No."_

_ "I will forcefully remove it." _

_ "Fine." Lisbon unclasped the necklace and dropped in the bag. The man turned and opened the passenger side of the car, dropped the bag inside then closed the door again._

_ "I need to search you." _

_ "Really?" _

_ The man didn't say anything, Lisbon sighed and lifted her hands so he can search her. After he finished he walked over to the back passenger door and opened it. He motioned her to get in, she slide in and the door closed behind her. _

_ "Welcome, agent." Red John smiled at her._

* * *

"Hey," Rigsby told Jane as he opened the door in the early morning hours.

"Shhh. Lisbon is sleeping and you know she can't stand having the door closed," Jane whispered as he ushered Rigsby in. Jane looked annoyed and like he hadn't slept all night.

"You okay?" Rigsby asked with some concern.

"Everything is fine," Jane's answer told Rigsby not to push it.

"Where is J.J?"

"Asleep in his crib. He has already been fed and changed," Jane told him as he picked up his vest off the side of the couch. "I'm heading back to the office."

"Why?"

"Because I had an idea last night and I want to check something out." Jane ordered, grabbed his keys and headed for the door.

"What do you want me to tell Lisbon?" Rigsby asked.

"Nothing, she will figure it out," Jane closed the door behind him. Whatever happened last night changed Jane, that much Rigsby knew.

Jane was still pissed off at Lisbon for her lying to him to the point that he spent the night on the couch. He had thought once or twice to go up there and be with her just for the sake of seeing his son but the moment the thought crossed his mind his hatred for what she did start to boil. He wanted out of the cabin and away from her so he wouldn't say something else that he might truly regret.

Halfway through the drive he bent his head down to change the radio station when he felt the car swerved. Turning his attention back to the road he felt his car get rammed from the right side. Looking to his side he watch as the other car rammed into him again, this time he lost control and barely had time to cover his head before slamming into the tree.

"Sir, can you hear me?" Someone was interfering with his sleep. He ignored it hoping for them to go away, he had a terrible headache and was sore. Why?

"Sir?"

Jane cracked one eye open and looked saw a paramedic trying to get him to wake up. The guy's mouth was moving but Jane couldn't focus on the words that he was saying. Closing his eye again an image of his son and the woman he loved flash before him.

"Lisbon," Jane muttered and fell back into the comfortable darkness.

* * *

"Rigs?" Lisbon asked confused as she walked in the kitchen. Rigsby was sitting at the dinning table holding J.J in his arms. She had woken to find JJ not in his crib and had assumed that Jane had once again taken him to let sleep.

"Hey boss," He got up and headed over to Lisbon, he handed over JJ to her. "I went to check on you and saw that he was awake. Hope you don't mind."

"No, but where is Jane?' She asked as she leaned down to kiss JJ on the head. "Hello, little one."

Rigsby shrugged,. "Said he had to go back to the office."

"For what?"

"Said he had an idea, that is it."

"Hmm," Lisbon replied and took JJ over to the couch Rigsby joined her.

"Is everything okay?" He asked. Lisbon lifted an eyebrow at his question. "Jane seemed a little off this morning."

"We had a fight," Lisbon told him, not sure why she did though.

"Oh," Rigsby replied unsure of how he was supposed to act to the news that his boss just told him.

Lisbon wasn't sure if she should talk to Rigsby or not about her fight with Jane. It wasn't something she was proud of and she knew that Jane might want to keep this private. However she needed to let someone else know what happened. "Wayne can we talk?"

"Sure," Rigsby replied. Lisbon nodded, got to her feet and placed JJ in the bassinet so he could sleep. Then turned and looked at Rigsby.

"About what happened to me," she started to say before her eyes caught his. This was going to be hard than she thought. "I made a trade with Red John."

Rigsby was confused by that. "A trade?"

"I traded my life for Jane's," she told him before taking a seat next to him on the couch again. "I gave up my freedom for Jane to have happiness. Red John agreed to quit playing his game with Jane as long as I came with him. I only made one request."

Somehow Rigsby was able to get through the fog of his surprise to ask. "Which was what?"

"I get a month with Jane, a month to be with him, to love him," Lisbon felt the tears sting her eyes. "Within a few weeks of being held captivate I found out that I was pregnant with JJ. I would have never gone with him if I knew I was pregnant."

Rigsby sat on the couch next to her taking in all the information she had told him. It was something very personal she had just told him. But how to respond he wasn't sure.

"That was what the fight was about," Rigsby finally stated as he looked at her.

"Yes."

"Boss, Jane has the right to be mad," Rigsby told her.

"What?" She asked a little shocked.

"You not only made a deal with serial killer you put yourself and your son at risk. You have no clue what everyone went through while you were gone. We searched and searched for any clues that might lead to your location and all that time we thought he had gone after you. You once told us that you told Jane that we were a family. You didn't just lie to Jane you lied to each one of us."

Lisbon sat there in shock as Rigsby got to his feet and took a few steps away from here. "Wow, going straight for the jugular there."

"Sorry boss but you know it is the truth."

"Wayne-"

"You lied, after everything we have been through, you lied," Rigsby repeated as he tried to wrap his mind around the idea that Lisbon had betrayed the team. "You need to tell them, they deserve to know."

"I know."

"Today," Rigsby said sternly as he pulled out his phone.

"You are calling them now?"

"The rules have changed now," he told her and was about to call Grace when his phone rang. He looked down and saw Cho number flashing back at him.

"Hey, Cho...what?" Rigsby asked shocked as his eyes widen and shifted to Lisbon.

"What is it?" Lisbon asked concerned.

"Jane was injured in an accident."

"Is he alright?" Lisbon asked as she got to her feet and walked over to where Rigsby was standing. Her eyes filled with concern.

"Cho, is he okay?" Rigsby asked. "Okay, thank you," He hung up the phone and looked at Lisbon.

"He has a few broken ribs and a concussion, they are keeping him overnight just to make sure," he told her what Cho had told him.

"What happened?"

"Cho isn't sure, the local law enforcement found his car on the side of the road, supposedly he ran into a tree. They have taken him to Mercy General"

"I need to go to him, give me your keys," she held her hands out and Rigsby just looked at.

"Boss, you can't go anywhere," Rigsby reminded her.

"Like hell I can't."

"I won't allow you," Rigsby said firmly.

"Excuse me?"

"You are in danger and it is my job to make sure that you remain safe."

"Did you happen to forget that I am your boss," she counter as she took a step closer to him.

"No, you aren't" Lisbon turned on Rigsby and glared at him. He swallowed then straightened up. "You were relieved of your duty when they declared you missing."

"You know I can hurt you," she closed in on him.

"Yes."

"And you still refuse to allow me to leave?"

"Yes."

"Wayne, give me the keys to your car," Lisbon order as she held out her hand. Rigsby shook his head no and stood his ground. "Fine."

Lisbon took a step back and Jane let out a breath that he hadn't realize he was holding. Lisbon rubbed the back her neck and then looked at Rigsby. "Wayne, I'm sorry."

"It's okay," he told her with a smile.

"You want something to drink or eat?" Lisbon asked as she motion to the kitchen.

"Sounds good."

"Help yourself," Lisbon told him; Rigsby nodded and headed over to the kitchen. He looked through the fridge for food.

"Hey Boss do you want something?" He yelled from the kitchen, he heard no response. "Boss?"

Rigsby closed the door as he heard the engine of a car start. "Shit." He ran out of the kitchen and out of the door just as Lisbon pulled away from the house driving his car. Rigsby walked back into the cabin and pulled out his phone.

"Cho, Lisbon just left," Rigsby told him as he closed the door behind him.

"What?"

"She is going to see, Jane."

"Crap," Cho replied then hung up on Rigsby. Rigsby looked around at the cabin, not only had Lisbon taken his pickpocket his keys she had left him with JJ.

* * *

Lisbon caught a glimpse of Rigsby as she pulled away from the cabin but she wasn't going to go back without checking on Jane personally. Keeping on eye on the road she type the name Mercy General into the GPS system and waited for it to give her direction to the hospital that Jane was at. It took several minutes but finally the GPS beeped and told her to stay on the same road until exit 96.

She knew that by the time she got there Cho would have already been notified and would try to stop her as soon as he saw her but right now she couldn't care less the only thing that matter was seeing Jane. They needed to talk again and with him stuck in a bed she would have a better chance of him not walking away from her. She also knew that he would be beyond anger that she left the safe house and JJ. She wanted to explain everything to him, to tell him the truth, to tell him what she went through those first few weeks.

_ Lisbon woke up on the floor of some room that had windows boarded up, the only light came from the bulb hanging from the ceiling. She had a killer headache, which meant that somewhere along the drive between her place and here Red John had drugged her. Getting to her feet she walked over to the door and tried to open it; locked. Lisbon turned around and study the room, only thing inside it was a very old chair with rope tied to the arms and bucket; this wasn't going to be fun. She heard the click of the lock and turned around to see Lorelei coming in; this was going to be bad._

_ "Long time no see Agent Lisbon."_

_ "Not long enough," Lisbon muttered as she tried to block out her headache._

_ "Red John told me of your little trade. You wanted one month with Patrick. Did it work? Were you with him?" Lorelei asked gleefully as she walked into the center of the room, causing Lisbon to back up almost to the wall. Lisbon refused to talk to woman about anything, especially her time with Jane._

_ "You were! I wonder if he's different lover when he's with someone her truly cares about. Shall we compare his abilities?" Lorelei asked with a smug. _

_ "Go away," Lisbon told her hoping against all odds she would._

_ "Tell me, how does it feel when he kisses you? When he takes your breast into your mouth or when he enters you?"_

_ "Don't you have to be kissing up to your boss?" Lisbon asked sarcastically. _

_ "Who I wouldn't have killed to spend a month with Patrick and his skills as a lover," Lorelei told her, Lisbon just shook her head then slide down the wall so she was sitting, the medication must still be in here system because she was now feeling nausea. "Looking a tad pale there, Agent Lisbon."_

_ "Yeah, that what happens when your boss drugs me," Lisbon retaliated as she leaned her head against the wall. _

_ "You know we have both slept with the same man, but there is a difference between us."_

_ "Yes, I'm not a serial killer mistress." _

_ "I was with Patrick first and after so many years of him denying himself any physical pleasure he was in the basic sense a virgin; you on the other hand were his second," Lorelei told Lisbon with a smirk. _

_ "Does your little speech have a point?"_

_ "You will always be the second best," Lorelei said, something about the way she said it made Lisbon blood boil, within seconds she was on her feet slamming Lorelei into the nearest wall._

_ "You bitch," Lisbon hissed as she placed an arm into Lorelei throat to cut off her air supply. "You and I are not even close, he used you for access to Red John. He used you." Lisbon emphasize every word and was about to speak again when she felt a hand on her shoulder and then she felt herself flying back; she hit the mattress with a thud. _

_ "Agent Lisbon I would like you to meet Jeffery," Lorelei said between gasping for breaths. Lisbon tried to catch her breath as Lorelei came closer to her and lean down to whisper to her. "You belong to us for the rest of your life." She then straightened and head to the door. Before the door shut she turned and looked back at Lisbon. _

_ "I hope he was worth it."_

* * *

Lisbon parked the car in the lot and raced into the hospital. There was a woman at the receptionist desk in light purple scrubs who was looking a little underworked at the moment. "What room is Patrick Jane in?"

"Excuse me?"

"Patrick Jane's room, now!"

"Are you his wife?"

She was caught off guard by that question. It wasn't the first time she'd been asked that and she'd always responded the same way. But this time was different. She couldn't get past the waiting room if she wasn't family and she didn't have her badge to muscle on through. But she did love this man, she had a child with him and she'd be damned if she wasn't going to be allowed to see him because of a technicality.

"Yes."

The nurse looked through a chart, flipping through a few pages. "Your husband is in room 308."

"Thanks," Lisbon said quickly before darting towards the nearest elevator.

It took her a little time to get her bearings once she was on the right floor. But she eventually made it to the right hallway and saw Cho on the phone right outside of Jane's room. He noticed her right away. "She just showed up," he said into the phone before hanging up. "You got here fast."

Lisbon wasn't going to admit she'd sped here like a maniac. "Let me see him."

"Where's your kid?" Cho asked, folding his arms across his chest. Lisbon knew that he'd been talking to Rigsby so he knew exactly where her son was. This was just his way of reminding her she'd abandoned the baby with Rigsby in her haste.

"I need to see Jane," Lisbon stated firmly.

"He's asleep."

Lisbon scoffed at that. "Jane never sleeps…at least not on a bed."

"Unless he's drugged."

Jane being drugged was probably a sight she'd like to see. "I can fix that," she replied, she had no doubt that walking in there would wake Jane from whatever stupor he was in. She didn't wait to get another disapproving look for Cho; she just barged into Jane's room.

He wasn't asleep…but he might have been in a drug-induced haze. "Cho I already told you I'm perfectly fine, no need to check in any…" Finally he recognized that she was not the former military man on their team. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"I came to see you," she told him, dragging the privacy curtain to block the door; she still couldn't muster up the courage to close it. "You look like crap."

Jane's eyes were cold, if a little unfocused. "Now you care."

That broke her heart right in two. "I always cared, Jane. I did what I did because I cared, because I love you so damn much."

He was still calm, far too calm. "You need to leave."

"Damn it Jane how much longer are you going to stay mad at me? You have done much worse things than I did."

That probably wasn't the best thing for her to say though. "I never did anything like this to you."

Now Lisbon was feeling a little angry herself. "You ran away to Vegas for six months and I didn't know if you were alive or dead!"

She had him there but Jane wasn't out of this fight. "I didn't ally myself with a serial killer."

"No, you just screwed his mistress."

"And you allowed Red John to _touch_ my son," he hissed out. That was still the part he had the most issue with.

Lisbon took a deep breath to try and keep herself calm. She needed to reason with Jane. "I didn't know I was pregnant. It is not my fault that happened and I tried as hard as I could to get out of it."

"How can you expect me to believe anything you say?" Jane asked, he said it carefully. As if he was just talking to a lying suspect and not the woman he'd trusted for over a decade.

Now she was resorting to begging. "Because I love you. Because I'm the mother of your son and I nearly killed myself trying to get our child away from Red John. Maybe I failed but you have no idea how much I suffered in trying."

Jane was quiet for a moment and she felt a little bit of hope. "Tell me then. Tell me how much you suffered and make me believe you." He stared right into her eyes. "And remember I know when you are lying."

Lisbon stepped closer to him, breathing easier now that she was getting this chance. "I told you the truth about how I found out I was pregnant. That didn't change. Three days after that they decided to move me to the house where I was found…"

_ Lisbon spent the three days after learning of her pregnancy half curled in a ball on her mattress in panic; except for the time she spent vomiting into her sad little puke bucket. This was not supposed to happen like this…actually it wasn't supposed to happen at all. The deal had been for her life, not to keep her locked up in a room for weeks._

_ She was supposed to be dead…not alive and pregnant with Jane's baby._

_ She put one hand over her stomach where the source of her trouble was currently nestled. "Okay, kid, I love you and I mean it but you picked one hell of a time to show up." Lisbon took a deep breath and smiled softly. "I'm going to get us out of this, somehow."_

_ But there was nothing in the room Lisbon could use to get out of this mess. They'd been very thorough in leaving her cell completely devoid of anything that could potentially be a weapon. So she lay on her mattress and waited for the opportunity to come up, it had to._

_ The sound of the key in the lock signaled that one of her two tormentors was finally there with her breakfast. She sat up quickly and then groaned, nausea and dizziness; this pregnancy was going to be fun._

_ It was Lorelei this time with the tray. Wonderful, that meant she might have sit through another conversation about the fact that they had slept with the same man. Lorelei put the tray down on the floor by her bed. Oatmeal with fresh fruit, apparently Red John was done with the bread and water routine. Lorelei pointed to a pill that rested on the napkin. "Take that."_

_ She raised an eyebrow at the pill. "What is it?"_

_ "It's a prenatal vitamin for the baby," she explained, "he wants to make sure you are healthy."_

_ "Then he should let me go," Lisbon stated, "so I can go to a doctor, have an ultrasound and give birth in a hospital like every other pregnant woman out there."_

_ "Eat your breakfast," Lorelei told her and then turned to leave. That surprised Lisbon since normally the bitch never passed up an opportunity to be her normal cruel self._

_ "What? You aren't going to stay this time?"_

_ She turned around and smiled cruelly. "I wish I could, Agent Lisbon, but we are all rather busy at the moment."_

_ "Doing what?"_

_ But Lorelei just smiled as she closed and locked the door behind her._

_ Lisbon wondered what that all meant, she had a feeling that whatever it was she wouldn't like it. She stared at the pill on her tray of food for a long time, slightly afraid that it was something that would harm her child. But Red John had called that baby "his present", that sounded like something he wanted to keep not destroy. That thought made her shiver; no way in hell was Red John going to have her child._

_ But she wanted her baby to be healthy. _

_ She took the pill and swallowed it down with the orange juice before turning her attention to the oatmeal and strawberries. She ate as much as she could with her stomach still tied up in knots. _

_ The oatmeal didn't settle well in her stomach. Not long after she pushed the half eaten tray away she was rushing to her puke bucket so she could vomit. She dry heaved for a while before finally collapsing onto the mattress again. "If your father was here, I'd kill him right now," Lisbon declared, "and when we see him again, I still might."_

_ Two hours later she was surprised that the door to her room opened again and this time both Lorelei and Jeffrey were there. "What do you want me to do now?" she wondered, still feeling like she was going to be sick. If that was the case she hoped she threw up on Lorelei._

_ "Get up," Lorelei told her. Jeffrey, as usual, didn't say a word. They didn't wait for her to get to her feet herself, instead the big man hauled her up and half dragged her out of the room. She was surprised that she was being pushed out of the house and down the driveway towards a white van._

_ She stopped in her tracks. "Where are we going?"_

_ Jeffrey just shoved her and she stumbled a few steps, nearly falling down. But they forced her into the back of the van. It was empty and covered with rough almost shag carpeting. They both got into the back with her, she had no idea who was driving the van but she had a feeling Red John did not double as chauffer._

_ Lisbon was left sitting on one side of the van, crouched down against the wall with Lorelei and Jeffrey sitting on the other side. Her stomach lurched with every stop and the fact that the old van wasn't air conditioned properly meant she was uncomfortably hot. She never usually got carsick but she'd never been stuck in an oven of a vehicle while pregnant either._

_ "I'm going to be sick," Lisbon groaned._

_ "Hold it in." Lorelei hissed._

_ "You hold it in!" _

_ Jeffrey produced a plastic bag just in time for Lisbon to throw up in while Lorelei watched, her nose wrinkled in disgust. Lisbon briefly fantasized throwing the bag in her pretty little face but decided to save it in case another wave of nausea washed over her._

_ She couldn't say for sure how long they drove. They did stop once and Jeffrey threw out the plastic puke bag and gave her a fresh one, along with a bottle of ginger ale still cold from the store. That helped a lot, she didn't feel quite as sick on the rest of the trip. _

_ The car finally stopped and the two stooges dragged her out of the van. She was surprised to see a large house with boarded up windows set in front of a large over grown lawn. A stretch of wooded area lay beyond the house and she bet she could get lost in those woods…and hide out for a while._

_ Her heart thudded in her chest. This was her chance, her last chance._

_ Now she just had to break away._

_ Jeffrey gave her another shove towards the house and Lisbon stumbled. Her eyes caught sight of a baseball sized rock just a couple steps away. She used the momentum to "fall" palm the rock discreetly. When Lorelei reached down to help her to her feet Lisbon whirled around and slammed the rock against the side of her head._

_ She didn't stop to see Lorelei fall, just leapt to her feet and sprinted for the woods._

_ Once she was sheltered in the trees Lisbon slowed her gait a minute if only to hear where she was being followed, but all she could hear was the blood pounding in her ears. She turned to look but she couldn't see beyond the thick veil of trees…well neither could they then. Lisbon turned back around to continue her escape._

_ Only to be stopped by the sound of a gunshot._

_ The bullet whizzed past her head and embedded itself in the tree nearby. She whirled around to see Red John standing calmly not twenty feet away, the smoking gun in his hand. _

_"You don't think I know everything about you but you are wrong." He told her calmly, "Every move you will make. I know you better than you do, even better than Patrick. I also know that you won't do anything to harm his second chance at being a father. So the decision is yours, run or stay."_

_ Lisbon gaped at him for a long time, stunned that he had thought this far ahead…but she shouldn't be. She'd worked to catch this man for years; he had always been one step ahead of her. Just like now._

_ She held up her hands in surrender just as she heard the sound of Jeffrey crashing through the woods. He remained silent but was not gentle in the very least as he grabbed her arm tightly and hauled her back out of the woods towards the house._

_ Lorelei was sitting on the porch steps, her head was bleeding and she was trying to staunch the flow with her hand. Her eyes darkened as soon as she saw Lisbon. "You bitch!" She shouted and made to hit her but was stopped by one word from Red John._

_ "Don't," he told her sharply. "She is not to be harmed. Not when she has what is mine."_

_ Lisbon glared at him. "It isn't yours."_

_ "That is where you are wrong."_

_ "This wasn't a part of the deal," Lisbon reminded him, "you can't have me and my child!"_

_ "You agreed to trade your life for his," Red John reminded her, "and that means anything you carry with you." He reached up, one gloved fingertip caressing her jaw line. "You really should be careful when striking a bargain, Agent Lisbon. You have to make sure you know exactly what cards you are holding."_

_ Jeffrey shoved her inside of the house and Lisbon struggled some more but there was no breaking away from the giant. She was forced down the basement stairs and into a dimly lit room that had a real bed and a toilet and little else. Jeffrey pushed her inside and she fell to her knees just as the door slid shut and the heavy lock clicked with a metallic clang._

_ A sharp cry escaped her lips in that moment; she was still on her hands and knees on the cold floor. Tears fell from her eyes and there was nothing she could do to stop her choking sobs. She knew exactly what had happened. Her chance to escape had come and gone._

_ Now she was really lost._

It was difficult to relive that moment when she realized that her child was probably going to be born a captive in a serial killer's twisted game. She hadn't truly given up then, but as the months passed and her pregnancy advanced she'd known then that there was no way she would ever be able to escape on her own.

But she'd prayed. She's prayed every night and day that Jane would come and find her before their child was born.

It hadn't happened that way but at least they had found their way back to each other again.

"Say something," Lisbon begged. She needed to know that she could fix this…because she needed him. That was something she'd realized when he'd disappeared for those six months and it was something she realized when she'd been locked away to give birth in basement. She needed him to live, to breathe, to be able to wake up in the mornings. She needed him.

Jane looked at her, not a single emotion was visible in his gaze. "Go back to the safe house, Teresa."

Her heart sank down to the floor. "That's it? I tell you about how hard I tried to get out and…it means nothing to you."

"Red John knew exactly what you would do," Jane reminded her. "Don't you see? He was playing you from the beginning and you let him. You played right into his hands the moment you offered yourself up as a sacrifice."

"I didn't know…"

"But you did," Jane stated, "You knew I would be devastated and that it would destroy me but you still did it. And because of it you dragged our child into this mess." He sighed. "Go back to the safe house and stay there."

It took a lot of effort not to burst into tears in front of Jane. Maybe it was because she felt so numb.

Somehow she stumbled out of the room while the rest of the world crashed around her. Cho had the decency to at least pretend like he hadn't heard at least some of the conversation. "I'm taking you back to the safe house," Cho told her, "Van Pelt will stay with you tonight.

She just nodded and let herself be led out of the hospital.

She was in too much pain to cry.

* * *

Cho drove Lisbon back to the safe house with Grace driving Rigsby's car that Lisbon had stolen. She spent most of ride simply staring out the window feeling like her own world was collapsing around her. The worst part was she'd known Jane would react this where, if there was one thing Jane didn't compromise on it was his hatred for Red John. He'd already lost one child to the monster and she'd given him the other, it didn't matter if it was unintentional she'd still done it.

She couldn't forgive herself, why would Jane?

Rigsby was waiting for them when they arrived, he was still mad that she'd stolen his car but Lisbon wasn't really caring at that point. She immediately made a beeline for the bassinet and took her son into her arms. JJ was sleepy and whimpered a little but he calmed as soon as he heard his mother's heartbeat.

The team was in the nearby kitchen having a heavy whispered conversation. Lisbon didn't overhear too much but she did hear Rigsby tell them that something had happened. But he didn't say what. Well at least that was something, even if she knew it meant Rigsby wanted her to confess herself.

They decided that Rigsby would go back to the hospital to keep an eye on Jane while Cho and Grace would stick around at the safe house. Rigsby took his keys back and left, but Lisbon didn't move from her place on the couch, her son still sleeping in her arms.

Finally Van Pelt and Cho decided that they were tired of being on the outside of the big secret. "Boss?" Grace asked, stepping into the room.

Lisbon still didn't speak, just clutched her child closer to her chest. "What is going on?" Cho said, his tone was insistent.

"Nothing," Lisbon finally said. She didn't know why she was determined not to tell them, maybe she just really wanted to have someone still trust her for however short of time.

"It doesn't seem like nothing," Cho stated.

"It's something personal between Jane and me."

"That isn't a good enough answer this time."

Lisbon sighed and met his eyes sadly. "I know."

They were silent again for a long time before Cho spoke. "Were you ever going to tell us or were you just going to keep on lying just like Jane does."

"I never lied," Lisbon replied. It was the truth, she'd never lied…just selectively told the truth.

"No?" Cho wondered, "you just forgot to tell us you were sleeping with Jane because you made a trade with Red John."

Grace gasped at that statement while Lisbon looked away, unable to meet their eyes in her guilt. "I did what I had to save him."

"You did a terrible job."

"You are going to lecture me on my relationship?"

Cho didn't bat an eye. "Yes."

"What exactly happened?" Grace asked bluntly. "You made a trade with Red John…for what?"

Lisbon still didn't look at them; her attention was on the sleeping infant in her arms. God she'd messed everything up, from the beginning. She never should have made that deal, she should have known that it was not going to be as simple as she'd assume. In the game of Red John, she'd been playing checkers and Red John had been playing chess.

Now it was time to pay for it.

She sighed heavily and met Grace's eyes. "I met Red John at that warehouse and asked him what he wanted to end his game with Jane. He told me that he wanted…_me_. And I said yes." Her two teammates remained silent and she continued. "I agreed, only if I was given a month with Jane. I thought I was going to die so I wanted to be able to go to my death knowing what it was like to be loved, really loved by him.

"When my month was up I got the call from Red John. I turned myself over to him and was taken to house where I was locked up for weeks. That was when I found out I was pregnant. I didn't know…neither did he, and it changed everything. My life, my sacrifice was no longer as exciting as the idea of having Jane's child."

"You never knew?" Grace asked.

She shook her head. "No. If I'd known I never would have gone. I tried. I fought. I nearly killed myself trying to get away, trying to escape with my son. I know I failed…but I tried."

"You had to know what this would do to Jane," Cho pointed out, "and us."

"Deep down I knew I just…"

"You only thought about keeping him alive," Grace finished, "not that it might not be a life worth living."

"He deserves to put his demons to rest, to move on. I wanted to give him that without him ending up in jail or worse dead."

"It wouldn't have worked. He needs you to do that." She pointed out softly

Lisbon shook her head. "He never showed any indication of his feelings for me before I made the deal. He always said that he was going to kill him."

Cho surprised her by bluntly stating, "Yes he did."

She gaped at him. "When?"

"He killed Hardy, refuses to leave your office until you do, sabotages any date you've been on in the past ten years...and you let him." Cho pointed out, "He never made a move because he knew if he did then he would lose you and he couldn't survive that happening."

"And you just knew this?"

Cho shrugged. "You're both idiots."

She pressed her lips into a firm line; she couldn't really refute that claim. "That may be but my and Jane's relationship problems are our own."

Cho looked at her, his eyes were hard and cold. "He isn't going to forgive you for this, not easily."

Lisbon nodded glumly. "How can I expect him to forgive me when I can't forgive myself?"

Neither of them had a good answer. The truth was that they didn't know themselves.

* * *

_ She'd carefully counted the minutes. It would soon be time for either Jeffrey or Lorelei to bring her some food. After the birth of her son the preferential treatment was long over, gone were the healthy plentiful meals designed around baby. No, now she was left with whatever they felt like fixing her be it just some old bread and water sometimes. Lisbon knew it was what Red John wanted; he was trying to break her down. Well he'd accomplished that the moment he'd ripped her son from her arms._

_ But she would get him back._

_ She heard the metal latch lift and the door began to slide with a heavy metallic creak. It was Jeffrey, not much of a surprise; Lorelei was probably busy playing mother to her son. Well Lisbon had her own surprise in store._

_ Jeffrey took one step into the room with a tray that had a bowl of something hot. But before he could take another step Lisbon slammed the top of the toilet tank into his face. There was the sickening crack of bone breaking and Jeffrey fell down like a toppled over tree. Lisbon sprang into action, dropping the piece of porcelain and pouncing on the gun that was strapped to Jeffrey's waist. The man was out cold, blood pouring over his face but Lisbon didn't give him a second though, just bounded up the steps._

_ The gun felt good in her hands as she made her way to the upstairs. The house was fairly empty but she didn't care, she was going to find her child and get both of them away from this place. To her surprise she caught Lorelei in the hallway, a bright red teddy bear in her hands. The sight of the toy made Lisbon want to scream, they were giving her son things…red toys. He wasn't Red John's property, he never would be._

_ Lisbon pointed her gun right at Lorelei. "Where is my son?"_

_ Lorelei held up her hands in a submissive gesture. She didn't look afraid…she didn't look angry either. Perhaps there was a bit of sympathy in her eyes, like when she'd taken her son out of her arms. "You don't want to shoot me, Teresa."_

_ "No," Lisbon agreed, "But I will if that is what it takes to get my son back."_

_ "He won't let him go. He's Red John's now."_

_ "He's mine."_

_ "Not anymore."_

_ The gunshot was sharp and loud, Lorelei jumped at the sound but she wasn't hurt. Lisbon had missed on purpose. She hated this woman; she also knew that Lorelei was the closest thing she'd had for a friend in the past year…which was pretty pathetic. All that meant was she got a warning, next time the bullet would go between her eyes._

_ But she didn't have to shoot again._

_ The gunshot had disturbed the baby who let out a long angry wail. Lisbon looked up towards the stairs where the sound was coming from. Her son was here in the house. _

_ She shoved Lorelei out of the way and raced up the stairs. Her son's screams grew louder once she reached the landing. They were coming from the room at the end of the hall. Lisbon didn't even look at any other room; she had tunnel vision strictly for her son's nursery._

_ Lisbon never saw the open door, not until she was suddenly shoved hard against the wall. The gun slipped from her hands and skittered across the floor and Lisbon fell down, the wind slightly knocked out of her. She tried to crawl for the gun but just as her fingertips touched the muzzle, a heavy black boot painfully stepped on her hand._

_ Red John kicked the gun away and then kicked Lisbon too until she rolled over onto her back to look at him. "Where do you think you are going?"_

_ "Give me my son you sick son of a bitch!"_

_ He knelt down next to her and for the firs time she was able to see his hazel eyes. "You woke up my son with your foolish actions."_

_ She stared at him for a long moment and then spat in his face. "He's not your son!"_

_ Red John calmly wiped the spittle from his eyes just as heavy quick steps came hurrying up the stairs. "Ah, Jeffrey, so good of you to join us. Please escort Agent Lisbon back to her room. No need to be gentle about it."_

_ "Escort" apparently meant dragging her literally. Blood was still dripping from Jeffrey's smashed nose as grabbed her legs roughly and dragged her down the hallway. Her palms squeaked against the floor as she tried to stop him from doing this but her efforts were not effective. But she did get to watch as Red John walked into her son's room._

_ Her head banged painfully against each step as Jeffrey continued to drag her away. She tasted blood in her mouth after she bit her tongue then her lip. She saw stars every time her head bumped against the floor. Finally they reached the basement and Jeffrey chucked her inside as if she was nothing more than a sack of potatoes. The door slammed shut with a loud clang and Lisbon was left alone on the cold concrete floor._

_ She spit the blood out of her mouth and the choking sound of her wails filled the room. "Please!" she begged, not Jeffrey or Lorelei or Red John. No she was begging God. "Please! Give me my son! I want my son! I want Joshua!"_

_ "Joshua!"_

_ "Joshua!"_

Her screams were loud and still ringing in her ears when Lisbon woke up in the bed. She wasn't still in that basement cell where she'd been held, given birth and had her son ripped from her arms. For a moment all she could do was sit and pant, trying to get her heart rate under control and herself from panicking again.

Then she finally heard her son's screams.

He was crying and flailing in arms and legs inside of his crib, for some reason all she could do was look at him crying for a few moments. This was her child, she'd frightened him and she was supposed to fix that now. It was what she'd fought for all those months, what she'd endured torture and pain to have.

The sound of someone bounding up the steps shook Lisbon out of her stupor. She immediately grabbed her gun and pointed it straight at the door, ready to shoot the intruder.

"Boss! It's me!" Grace said, holding up her hands as soon as she saw Lisbon with her gun.

Lisbon still didn't lower it.

"Boss…put the gun down."

"No," Lisbon said coldly, her chest heaving with every breath. "Get out. Get away from me and my son."

"What is…"

"No one is going to take my son again!" she hissed. "Get out!"

Grace stared at her completely dumbfounded. Finally she backed out of the room, only then did Lisbon lower her gun. She got out of bed and picked up her still screaming baby, his face red and blotchy from his crying. Lisbon held her son close to her chest, the gun resting beside her on the bed.

She'd just defended her son.

From someone who posed no threat at all.

But Lisbon didn't feel guilt or shame. She felt good knowing that she'd protected herself…even if she shouldn't feel that way at all. She knew this was wrong, but she didn't care.

Lisbon looked down at JJ who was finally beginning to quiet down.

"Mama's going crazy."

* * *

A/N: This was an ouch chapter, poor Lisbon is going crazy but she doesn't have her support system right now. It'll take a bit for Jane to forgive her for this but you'll have to see what happens next ;-)


	12. Love and Other Lies

Disclaimer: We own nothing

A/N Nerwen Aldarion: Whoo sorry for the wait but we both had family visit which meant we had to be entertainers instead of fanfic authors for a little while LOL. But you will now get back to your regularly scheduled fanfics

A/N Steele Simz: Yes, this update is a little late but real life was more important for the time being. That being said everything has settle down and we are back to writing our evil ideas. Enjoy.

**Anonymous Reviews:**

**Anna:** Well they can't trust her, they all went through hell trying to find her and it feels like a betrayal that she did it all on purpose...though there is more to this story than she is saying.

**Anonymous:** LOL be prepared for more angst, it's our specialty. Thanks for the compliment!

**Anonymous:** They spent a year trying to find her, thinking she was dead and it turns out she did this willingly...it's hard to see it as anything less than a betrayal. LOL thanks, we hope you enjoy the rest of the chapter

**Kourion:** No she did NOT think it through, she was in over her head and if she'd been honest with Jane then he would have told her LOL. You are right, Jane is so focused on what she did he isn't thinking about WHY she did it. But he'll get a rude awakening soon.

**Anonymous:** LOL yes it does return and in this chapter there is more! Enjoy LOL

* * *

Chapter 12: Love and Other Lies

JJ was still crying in her arms as Lisbon starred at the door. It had been a while since she had ordered Grace to leave and since then she had checked on JJ to make sure he didn't need a diaper change. Now she found herself in a dilemma, JJ wanted food but his formula was sitting downstairs in the kitchen, which meant either, she called to Grace or would go down herself. Gathering up what strength she had left, she walked out of the room and down to the kitchen. When she entered the room she saw Grace was alone.

"Where is Cho?"

"Outside making a call," Grace informed her quietly not quite making eye contact with her. "Do you need something?"

"JJ wants food," Lisbon told her has she went over to the formula.

"Do you want me to make it?" Grace asked as she noticed Lisbon switch JJ to one arm.

"Please," she nodded her head and walked over to the table while Grace prepared the formula. When it was ready Grace gave the bottle to Lisbon and then backed out of the kitchen just as Cho came in. They talked in the living room in hush voices until Cho nodded in her direction.

"I'm heading back to the CBI," he informed her before walking out of the safe house. After JJ had been fed he started to fall asleep in his mother's arms. Lisbon smiled as she got to her feet and placed him in the bassinet that was in the living room.

"Do you need anything?" Grace asked as she watched her lay JJ down.

"Coffee," Lisbon replied softly as she headed to the kitchen.

"I can do it," Grace offered.

"NO!" Lisbon snapped as she glared at Grace. Grace was taken back but nodded her head in understanding. "I need to do this myself."

"I'll be out here," Grace told her as she took a seat on the couch. Lisbon nodded and headed back into the kitchen to pour herself a cup. It had been a long eleven months without coffee that she almost forgot what the aroma smelt like. As she placed the grounded beans in the coffee pot and started the machine she felt herself relax a little. Reaching up she opened the cupboard and reached for a coffee cup as he eyes landed upon a box of tea, instantly she dropped the cup onto the floor.

"Boss?" Grace asked from the living room. No response came. Grace got to her feet immediately and headed in the kitchen. Standing near the coffee pot she found Lisbon shaking to death as she was looking at a something in the cupboard. "What is it?"

"I can't do this," Lisbon whispered as she slammed the cupboard shut.

"What?" Grace asked as she approached her slowly.

"Everything reminds me of him."

"What is it?" Grace asked as she opened the cupboard and looked inside, Lisbon flinched beside her.

"The tea?"

"Yes, he drank it."

"Red John?"

"He used it against me," Lisbon admitted as she walked over to the sink feeling nausea suddenly. Placing her hands on countered she tried to control the shaking of her body. She heard Grace pick up the broken pieces of the cup and placing them in the trashcan.

"I know you don't want to talk but I'm here," Grace whispered as she started for the living room.

Lisbon took a deep breath and before she knew what was happening she heard the words escaping her lips. "He tortured me."

Grace didn't say anything, which told Lisbon that the team was well aware that she had suffered, but they had no idea how badly.

"Do you know what happens to a person who is left to starve and is dehydrated?" Lisbon whispered so softly that Grace had barely heard her. Grace was about to respond when Lisbon spoke again. "They go to any length to survive and that includes drinking unhealthy water."

"Lisbon?"

"The tea was a curse and a blessing," Lisbon told her as she closed her eyes and remember what occurred after she had lost at her attempt to free JJ and herself.

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_ After her failed escape attempt Lisbon waited for the punishment to come. And she waited…and waited…and waited but nobody came. Nobody came to bring her food or water or even came to knock on the door. She had nothing at all._

_ The first day was calm, she waited for food and water to be brought but was so focused on her failure that she barely noticed until her mouth grew dry with thirst. She started banging on the door then, wondering when they were going to come around. She'd lost all sense of time since her captivity but the hours that passed told her it was late and still no one came._

_ She went to bed, her stomach growling and her body feeling the ache of emptiness. The last time she'd gone to bed hungry was when she was a kid and her father had used the money for booze. But this wasn't anything she couldn't handle._

_ The next day she felt a little disoriented, her mouth felt dry and fuzzy like the skin of a peach. But she got up and waited. Her stomach had stopped growling, she no longer felt hungry but still very weak. Her thirst was too much and she tried to the rusty faucet by the toilet but the water had been turned off._

_ That was when Lisbon knew for sure that no one was coming._

_ Lisbon searched her small basement for anything, something that was edible or could quench her thirst. There were scraps of blank paper that might do for food but the only source of water was what remained in the dingy toilet. She was so thirsty that she considered it for a long time but finally she just slumped against the wall in defeat._

_ It was on the morning of the third day that she was too far-gone to care, cupping her hands into the toilet to drink the water. It was a relief to have something wet on her tongue but she was lucid enough to know she had to slow down, had to hold this off as long as she could._

_ So she tore strips of paper and chewed them into little balls before swallowing them. Her stomach hurt so much from the hunger and the paper didn't do much to help but she didn't care. She had a small bit of water and she would survive for as long as she could._

_ But Lisbon didn't know how long that might be._

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Lisbon had sunk down to the floor sometime in her story, her knees clutched to her chest like a frightened child. Her eyes were red and shining with tears "Does that make me pathetic. To drink that type of water in order to survive?"

Grace was kneeling down beside her; she reached over to put a hand on hers. "No, it doesn't"

"How about the fact that I knew that he was drugging me?"

Grace looked at her softly; there was sadness and empathy in her eyes. "Lisbon…he was trying to break you."

"And he did," Lisbon told her, "He did."

"No, he didn't."

"I was on my knees drinking out of a toilet like a dog!" Lisbon exclaimed, her vitriol making it clear how much she thought of herself for having to resort to such a low.

"You did it for survival." She told her, "Anyone in your position would have done the same thing," Grace continued.

Lisbon shook her head. "Except I let myself get there. I gave myself over to Red John. So this is all my fault. My own."

It was unshakeable truth that Grace couldn't refute. "Yes, but it is all in the past now. Now you have a future with a son that loves you and a man who is willing to do anything to be by your side."

"No, Grace. I don't." Lisbon reminded her. "Jane can't forgive me for what I did, for what I let happen to our son. He won't forgive me and… and he shouldn't"

But Grace obviously didn't believe that. "Considering how many times you have forgiven him I think he owes you one. He will come back to you for one reason and one reason only."

Lisbon actually looked up at her hopeful. "And what is that?"

She smiled at her friend. "He is in love with the woman who made him a better man and that woman is you. You made him a better man by saving him. You were there when no one else was. Even in his darkest moments you gave him the light to find his way out."

Lisbon was quiet for a long time, sniffling a little from her previous bout of crying. Finally she took in a ragged breath. "I need him, Grace. I need him here."

Grace nodded and then grinned. "Well knowing Jane he probably already escaped the hospital."

"No place can keep Jane very long," Lisbon said with a hint of a smile. Then she got sad again, her eyes tinged with fear. "Do you really think he will come back?"

"Jane is a lot of things," Grace told her with a smile, "but stupid isn't one of them."

* * *

Jane was trying to hold off sleep in the one place he absolutely hated to be. Hospitals were never any place anyone liked to stay but Jane least of all. Not only did they smell terrible, the sounds were wrong and worst off all was the food. He was grateful for any diversion, especially in the form of a friend.

"Rigsby, what a nice surprised." Jane said as soon as he saw the agent.

He smiled at him and noting the slightly slurred words. "Still drugged up I see."

"Just a little pain medication. These things work wonders."

"Yeah, I know." Rigsby sat down in the chair by his bed.

Jane was still one to win an argument, even under heavy pain medication. "Yes, but you ran into a house, meanwhile I was run off the road by a minion."

"Minion?"

"Someone working for Red John."

Rigsby raised an eyebrow. "How much drugs did they give you?"

"Just a little," Jane said, waving his hand dismissively. The fact that the simple gesture was unsteady belied his words.

He shook his head, looking amused. "Okay, when you are out of your drug hazy I will be back."

But Jane's fun demeanor quickly melted away. It was probably the drugs that made hism so honest…or maybe he just really wanted to talk. "She lied to me, can you believe she actually fooled me after all these years…and she let him near my son."

Rigsby sighed heavily. "She didn't lie to you for years."

That was the truth. But Jane didn't really care about one simple fact in all of this mess. "But she let Red John near my son. Hold my son."

"She didn't have a choice."

Jane looked him in the eye. "How would you feel if it was Ben that he was holding?"

That shut Rigsby up for a minute. He really hated that idea. But he was quick to get the subject back on track. "This isn't about me. This is about you and Lisbon and what she went through"

"She told me."

"Did you actually listen or just pretend to listen?"

Jane shook his head. "She told me enough."

"Jane you are pissed and you have a right to be pissed but she is the mother of your child. You can't just forget that, no matter what she did."

That outburst quieted Jane for a moment. Then he said calmly. "She lied to me, straight to my face. How can I ever trust her with anything she says? How can I trust her with my son?"

"With her son, that's her son too." Rigsby stated firmly. "Her son that she fought with everything she had to protect. She didn't give herself to Red John to hurt you. She did it to protect you and she didn't give him JJ, the baby was ripped from arms. You know that."

"How can you trust a word she says?"

"Because I can see how much she suffered." He explained, he hesitated briefly before tell him the whole truth. "Jane she is falling apart right now and to be honest...I'm scared to death that Red John did more than just hypnotize her. The things Grace is telling me...I...I don't even know if you really want to know what he's done to her."

"What?" Sounding concern for the first time since Rigsby entered the room. Jane could pretend indifference all he wanted but clearly all he needed to know was that something was very, very wrong with Lisbon.

He didn't wait for Rigsby to tell him. Just moved to get out of the bed.

"Where are you going?" Rigsby asked.

"Leaving obviously."

Rigsby tried to force him back on to the bed. "You are on drugs and in no condition to drive."

"Which is why you will drive," Jane stated simply.

"Jane I can't break you out of the hospital"

But Jane dismissed that. "Since when do I follow orders?"

"Never."

"See, then shall you help me get dressed?"

Rigsby stepped back shaking his head. "She is going to kill you when she sees you. And kill me."

"If she's in as bad of a state as you say...she won't be able to." He didn't say this with humor…but with real concern.

"So you are just going to waltz in there."

"I never waltz into any room." He said, putting his change of clothes on the bed to get dressed into them.

"This is serious, Jane"

He turned around to look at Rigsby, a dark look on his face. "I know that. This involves my family, Rigsby. Mine."

"Now she's your family?"

Jane gave him a warning look. "Don't."

Rigsby sighed. "I'll drive you...but you can put your pants on yourself."

"Good man."

He turned around, shaking his head. "You know Lisbon is a saint for having to deal with you for the rest of her life." Rigsby told him as he walked out of the room.

"Yes, she is."

Well that was a good start at least.

* * *

As the coffee finishing brewing Grace got to her feet and made Lisbon a cup off coffee before offering her hand to Lisbon. "The couch is more comfortable."

Lisbon nodded and grabbed Grace's hand to get off the floor then her following Grace out of the room and over to the couch. Grace waited until Lisbon was seated before handing her the cup of coffee, Lisbon was still shaking when she wrapped her hands around the mug.

"I knew he was drugging the tea but I was thirsty," Lisbon told Grace as she took a seat next to her. She turned slightly so she could face her friend and boss. "I didn't know what he did to the tea but what occurred after drinking it, well let's say I know how Jane feels."

"About what?" Grace asked hoping against all odds that Red John hadn't used belladonna on Lisbon.

"Belladonna makes you realize what you want the most, no wonder he did it again a few times after he saw his daughter. I would have done the same thing."

"What were the visions?"

Lisbon laughed softly as she placed the coffee cup on the nearby table. "Him rescuing me." Lisbon felt the tears forming in her eyes again as she took a deep breath and told Grace another moment from her time in captive.

_ Lisbon leaned against the wall, starring at the door across from her, she keep hoping that if she looked at it long enough it would unlock and open then she would be free of this place. Just as the words entered her head she hear the click of the lock and the watch the door swing open slowly, then he came into view, looking at her with an adoring smile. _

_ "Teresa," he whispered but didn't move from his the spot. _

_ "Patrick?" Her voice was raw, from the lack of liquid and crying for anyone but it seems that her prayers had been answered as he stood before her. _

_ "Get up," he ordered._

_ Jane giving a order seemed a little odd, "What?"_

_ "Just kidding," he told her and made his way over to her, kneeling down so his eyes met hers. She saw love in his eyes the same thing she had seen before she had gone with Red John. _

_ "Took you long enough," she smiled at him and used all the strength she had to lift her arm and reach out to him._

_ "I will always save you," he whispered as his arm moved; just as they touched fingertips Jane disappear from here. NO! she screamed in her mind just as she dropped her arm, another illusion from the tea. _

She allowed the tears to fall freely as she brought her knees to her chest and wrapped her arms around them.

Lisbon finished telling Grace what happened before reaching back to grab her cup of coffee. Grace sighed and reached for the blanket Jane had used the night before, unfolded it and wrapped it around Lisbon shoulders. Jane's scent on the blanket seem to calm Lisbon's nerves enough to stop her shaking, Grace smirked at the thought before leaning against the couch.

"But he did save you," she reminded Lisbon.

"You all did," Lisbon corrected her before putting the now empty cup on the table and pulling the blanket around her more tightly. "Those were the good hallucinations."

_ Every time Lisbon drank the tea a hallucination would follow that would include Jane, they all included Jane. But recently they were getting darker, Jane would show up but he would be worse for wear or Red John would appear behind him. So as she lay on the mattress she wonder what would happen this time. Just as previously the door to her room open and there stood Jane. His grin wide as he studied her. _

_ "Patrick," she whispered as a smiled played on her lips. "Thank god you found me."_

_ "I didn't find you," he replied._

_ "It doesn't matter," she could care less how he got her all that matter was he was here now, she was free. Her strength was weak and all she could do was reach a arm out for him. "I need your help."_

_ "With?"_

_ "Getting out of here of course," she replied as she thought he was acting weird even for him. _

_ "I didn't come for you," he told her firmly. Lisbon heart shattered into a million pieces. _

_ "What?"_

_ "I came for Lorelei," he told her proudly as Lorelei came up behind him and wrapped an arm around his waist. God she hated that woman. _

_ "Surprised?"_

_ "Slightly," Lisbon remarked. _

_ "My dear you have always known that Lorelei was more important to me than you."_

_ "You're lying," Lisbon countered not wanting to believe. _

_ "If that was the case then why did I sleep with her?"_

_ "To capture Red John, it was part of your plan," she reminded him of what he had told her several times. _

_ "True, but the moment I saw her I changed my plan and slept with her willingly, she is the love of my life," Jane explained with a smile as she walked away from Lorelei._

_ "Then why are you here," Lisbon snarled. _

_ "Because my dear I need to cleanup my involvement."_

_ "Involvement?_

_ "See for the past few months I have been working for Red John, everything we did was part of a plan to get you here. Then I would place clues to allow the team to see how badly I was hurting, another fake breakdown, then when the time was right I gave them information to your location. When they arrived he took his revenge on them."_

_ "For what?" Lisbon asked with tears in her eyes. _

_ "For going after him of course, no one should ever cross him." Jane replied as he knelt down closer to her. "But I did ask him to refrain from killing you."_

_ "Why?"_

_ "Because I wanted that chance," he replied as he reached into his pocket and pulled out a small handgun. _

_ "Patrick," Lisbon pleaded with him as she tried to back away but being on a mattress didn't allow her to get very far. _

_ "You never help me, you just stood there and allowed him to slip through my fingers," he told her as he straightened up. _

_ "That isn't true and you know it," Lisbon hissed feeling the anger of his lies building up in her. _

_ "Oh but it is," he replied as he aimed gun at her. "And now I'm going to raise my son in the world that Red John has created. He will be loved by millions." _

_ "You bastard," she spat. _

_ "I told you I did it as part as a plan and that plan was to have another person take over for Red John when he dies. You should consider yourself lucky, you are the mother of the next infamous serial killer to grip the world. His words will change everything, his ideals will bring together more people," he explained with a triumphantly smile. _

_ "No," Lisbon shook her head. _

_ "Too bad you won't be around to see your son accomplish all of these great things," he told her as he pulled the trigger._

Lisbon finished talking as she looked down at the floor. Grace placed a hand on her shoulder.

"I'm sorry."

"Those hallucinations came more often as I gave up hope that he would find me."

"They were just hallucinations," Grace reminded her, "They weren't real."

"But they felt real," Lisbon replied as she got to her feet and pulled off the blanket, dropping it back on the couch she headed back to the bedroom.

"Where are you going?' Grace asked as she watched her go.

"I want to take a shower, can you watch JJ for me?"

"Of course."

"Thank you, Grace," Lisbon gave her a soft smile before heading upstairs to the bedroom.

After turning on the shower to full blast Lisbon undressed and looked in the mirror, she still looked weak and tired. Her eyes were not the ones that looked back at her; rather they were those of a person who had suffered. She was the victim no matter how much she tried to convince herself that she wasn't. She was the victim and she needed help. Shaking the thoughts out of her head she got into the hot shower and allowed the water to help ease the tension in her shoulders.

As she stood in the shower she let her mind wander to what she had told Grace, yes those memories had been bad but it was something else she hadn't told anyone that she was more fearful of. One last event that she could remember somewhat clearly, it was one finally event before she finally gave up any remaining hope and Red John finally succeeded but the worse was she wasn't even sure it had happen. It had all started after Jeffrey had come for her empty mug. The smug look her gave her made her entire body shiver.

_ The tea had felt different this time, it affects were a little different. The lights were softer and brighter, the edges of her vision was fuzzy and strange. But most of all it was how she felt so much weaker and tired. It was so strange. Where was Jane? He should have been here by now…he should have saved her._

_ Then Jeffrey was there, her silent guard that could hand her food just as quickly as punch her in the face. He was completely loyal and she knew that there was no way he would ever help her…she had never heard him speak at all._

_ Lisbon tried to speak but nothing came out but a soft ragged squeak. She tried to wet her lips and try again but before she could do anything else Jeffrey suddenly reached down and wrapped his large hand around her throat. Her eyes widened but she couldn't feel much fear at the moment, even the pain was distant though she did realize it was getting harder to breathe._

_ Pinpricks of darkness started to appear before her eyes and she realized then that she was going to die if he didn't release her soon._

_ And at that moment…she didn't really care._

_ Then suddenly she could breathe again, those heavy gasps were her getting air into her lungs. The rush of relief sobered her up and she could feel more of the pain now but she still was mostly disoriented._

_ It took a moment for her vision to clear and she saw that Jeffrey was still there. In fact he was leaning over her. What was he doing?_

_ It wasn't until the cold air met her warm skin that she finally understood. He was undressing her. His huge heavy hands were rough on her flesh, cruelly bruising and pinching whatever he exposed._

_ 'Stop this' her mind screamed, 'you have to fight him!'_

_ But she was so tired of fighting._

_ There was still some part of her that wasn't quite ready to give up though. Yes they had taken her away from Jane, taken her son from her arms and made her lose her mind but her body…that was the on thing that was still hers._

_ So somehow she tapped into the small amount of strength she had left and shoved Jeffrey back._

_ It worked. He stumbled backwards but the momentum caused Lisbon to fall off the bed and onto the floor. She tried to get to her feet but that small struggle had taken everything out of her, all she managed to do was grab unto the bed and rise to her knees…but no further._

_ Then Jeffrey was back, shoving her face first into the mattress so her cries were muffled completely. She felt him rip her panties off and expose herself to him and she began to shake and cry some more. Then she felt him, poised and ready to conquer her completely. She couldn't fight anymore…she didn't have anything left at all. So she gave up and waited for him to do it._

_ But nothing happened._

_ He still held her firmly against the mattress, was still pressed up against her but…he didn't do it._

_ She felt him grab her hair and yank her a few inches up so she could breathe easier but nothing more. She couldn't move to see what was happening and he still didn't finish what he started._

_ "Do you understand what is happening, Agent Lisbon?" Red John asked her calmly. She had no idea when he had shown up…perhaps he had watched the entire time. "Jeffrey is following my orders. With one word from me he will push you back down and do deplorable and savage things to your body. His seed will be inside of you and your skin will smell like him, his touch firmly ingrained in your mind and in your nightmares for the rest of your undoubtedly short life."_

_ He leaned closer and now she felt his hot breath in her ear. "Your life is mine. Mine to control, mine to use. You have nothing; you can't even stop this man from raping you. Do you understand, Agent? It is time to give up."_

_ Then suddenly as fast as this attack began it was over. She was released back onto her mattress still not breached but completely broken all the same._

_ The door was shut with a loud clang but Lisbon didn't do anything. She didn't have the strength to move or put her clothes back on or anything. All she did was lie there, clutching her bed with all that she had left. And she knew._

_ Red John was right._

She fell down onto the cool ceramic tile and pulled her knees up against her chest. No she wasn't dehydrated or starving or even helpless but she was still weak, still broken and Lisbon had no idea how she was going to fix that. She wanted to be back to the agent that had existed before Red John had ripped everything she'd had away from her…but Lisbon was beginning to believe that was impossible.

Jane didn't want her anymore…and she really couldn't blame him because she was nothing.

She wasn't worth saving.

* * *

While Lisbon was in the shower Grace called Rigsby who was currently sitting outside of Jane's room debating if he should go in or not.

"Grace is something wrong?" he asked as he answered the phone.

"I need to talk to Jane," she told him.

"He needs rest."

"Wayne, Lisbon just told me some things that happen and Jane has the right to know," she told him over the phone.

"What did she say?" Rigsby asked concerned. Grace gave him the cliff-note version of what Lisbon had told her. After finishing Rigsby told her he would call back soon as he talked to Jane. Grace had checked on JJ while waiting for Rigsby to call her back, she also listen to the sound of the shower in case Lisbon needed her for anything or something happen. Finally the phone rang and she heard Jane voice.

"Tell me everything," he demanded with a grunt.

"Are you okay?" She asked as she heard the car door slam.

"Grace, now," he ordered.

Grace proceeded to tell him everything Lisbon had told her. Jane was silent the entire time Grace talked and wasn't until she was finished for several minutes that she began to worry.

"Jane?"

"Son of a bitch," Jane screamed as a sound of Jane punching something followed.

"Watch the interior," Rigsby told him, Grace just shook her head.

"Grace, put her on the phone."

"She isn't here."

"Where is she?"

Okay bad choice of words to use at that moment. "She went to take a hot shower. I've been listening for any signs of dangers but nothing, she is okay."

"Tell her I'm coming home," he told her and hung up the phone. Grace placed her phone down on the table and headed upstairs to check on Lisbon.

"Boss is everything okay?" She asked, as she should outside the bathroom.

"I'm fine Grace," Lisbon replied as the sound of the shower turned off and there was only silence.

"Okay, I'll be downstairs," Grace told her as she headed back down. Lisbon never replied and Grace knew she wouldn't. After twenty minutes Grace became worried and went to check on Lisbon as she entered the bedroom she saw that Lisbon was sound asleep on the bed wearing one of Jane's shirt that he had left. Grace quietly made her way back downstairs and stopped at bassinet that JJ was sleeping in. He was awake and starring up at her.

"Just you and me kid," Grace smiled at him as she reached down; he reached up for one of her fingers. "You are adorable."

She spent the time waiting for Jane to arrive playing with JJ who was now amused with something on the ceiling, what she didn't know. Jane should be here shortly she thought as she heard sounds from upstairs. Grabbing JJ, she put him back in his bassinet and headed to check on Lisbon. Just as she got into the room she saw Lisbon starring out the window at the night sky through the trees.

"How do you feel?"

"A little better, thank you Grace," Lisbon turned to look at her. "I mean that, thank you for listening and for watching JJ."

"It was nothing," Grace smiled at her. Grace was about to tell her that Jane was on his way when the power went out leaving the two of them in darkness. Grace waited for her eyes to adjust and then she saw Lisbon shaking to death.  
"Lisbon?" Grace asked as she walked up to her and place a hand on her arm.

"Get away from me!" Lisbon yelled as she took a swing at Grace, who moved enough to miss getting hit. Lisbon made a beeline for the bathroom and for the first time since they found her she slammed the door shut.

"What the?" Grace asked shocked as she looked at the close door. Lisbon didn't liked closed doors, so what made her just closed the door now. What was it about the power going out that caused her to panic suddenly? Heading back downstairs, using the walls to guide her until she saw the light from the moon giving her light to the living room, she grabbed her phone and called Rigsby.

"Yeah?"

"Where are you?"

"Almost there, we hit evening traffic," Rigsby informed her. "What happened?"

"She just panicked Wayne and closed the door," she told him.

"What?" Rigsby asked. There was a small shuffle and then Jane voice came over the phone.

"Grace?"

"Jane, the power went out and she panicked, she shut herself in the bathroom," Grace explained, she heard Jane cuss and tell Rigsby drive faster.

"I'm coming," he told her before hanging up. Grace placed the phone in her pocket and went looking for candles to light up the room.

* * *

"Where is she?" Jane asked as he walked in the safe house. He'd become even more impatient and insufferable the closer they'd gotten to the safe house but he hadn't cared. Jane had been focused on how devastated Lisbon was, she was far more broken then he had realized and instead of helping her he'd said terrible things to her. There was no doubt in his mind that he was responsible for some of this.

"It's about time you got here." Grace said as she shown the flashlight in his face.

"Yes I apologize for nearly breaking my neck getting here," he replied as he took the flashlight out of her hand. He was all business now.

Grace raised an eyebrow but didn't push him on it. "It's good that you are here. Lisbon freaked out again when the lights went out."

Jane noticed the important word in that statement. "Again? Meaning it happened before?"

She nodded. "Yes, right after she told us what happened. She freaked out over a nightmare and pulled a gun on me, she wouldn't let anyone near her or the baby."

God this was worse than he had thought. "And you didn't think to tell me!"

"I've been busy trying to keep her from going completely insane." Grace reminded him, her frustration was boiling over, and especially since she had done everything she could to help her friend.

"Where is she?" He asked again annoyed.

"She's in the bathroom...on the floor."

Jane didn't need any more information just rushed to the bathroom. "Teresa," he whispered quietly as knocked softly on the door. She didn't answer and he checked the knob, glad that it turned easily before he entered the bathroom.

Lisbon was sitting on the floor, curling up beside the tub, looking a lot like a small-frightened child. He couldn't read her face, he had no idea what she was thinking or what memories she was being forced to relive. She finally lifted her head and looked up at him. "Are you real?"

That was an interesting question. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"I've imagined you so many times," Lisbon told him, her voice barely more than a whisper. "And when I went to hug you…you disappeared so I believe that you were never going to be there…weren't going to find me."

He knelt down on the floor next to her. "What kind of visions? Like dreams or hallucinations?"

"Both."

Jane nodded his head, pressing his lips into a firm line. So there had been a lot more than just being trapped and then hypnotized. A unique form of psychological torture had been used. He shouldn't have been surprised…but he'd hoped that it wasn't true." What else did he do to you?"

Lisbon shook her head. "I can't… I don't want to tell you."

"Teresa...you have to." Jane told her, reaching up to brushed the hair away from her eyes. "Because I need to know how to help you."

"Patrick, I can't. It would only make you..."

"Make me what?"

She looked away now, down at the floor. "Disappointed in me."

He almost smiled then but this was far too much for that. "For what?"

Lisbon still wasn't looking at him but he could see even in the dim light that she was struggling with a lot of guilt. "For not escaping, for allowing him near our son, for not being strong enough for you."

He shook his head. "Teresa...I was so focused on what you did I didn't think about why. You're a better person than I am, everything I've done since we met was for revenge...but this was for love. That's a far more noble reason than mine."

She shook her head again quickly, finally looking at him. "No you were right I was selfish to go with him, I never took your feeling into account I just did what I felt was right."

"The same way I used you over the years." He pointed out.

"You never used me."

"But I did hurt you." That was an unquestionable truth. He'd hurt her innumerable times over the years be it ignoring her, pushing her away, lying to her or simply disregarding her burgeoning feelings because they would get in the way of his goal.

"Not as much as I hurt you. You were correct when you said that," she curled herself into a deeper ball trying to hide from Jane.

"Teresa..." Jane said slowly, pulling her head up to look at him again. "How much did Red John hurt you?"

"More than you can ever imagine."

"You have to tell me," Jane repeated, "I need to know so I can help you. Please…please tell me."

She couldn't look at him again, her eyes focused on the shower instead of him. "He took JJ from me."

"You told me that," Jane reminded her, "What happened afterwards. What did he do to hurt you? To break you?"

Lisbon closed her eyes, tears falling down her cheeks and she kept them closed. "First they starved me. I didn't get anything to eat or drink…so I found paper and water from my toilet. I was so desperate…I stopped caring at how pathetic it was."

Jane took in a breath and let it out, laying back against the wall as he prepared for more. "What else?"

"They brought me food and tea…belladonna tea."

"He wanted you to have visions," Jane realized, "a unique way to torture your mind I suppose."

"I saw you…then you'd be gone. Then you'd be back but you would be working for him or in love with Lorelei and then…then you'd hurt me and by the end of it…I didn't know what was real and what was just made up in my head." Lisbon told him, pressing her hands over her eyes as her shoulders began to shake with tears.

Jane reached over to take her hands, squeezing them in his own. "What else?"

Now she opened her eyes and looked into his and he saw nothing but pain there. "I was so weak, so tired. I don't know how long they kept all of this up…and then Jeffrey was there and he was touching me and ripping off my clothes…" Jane began to feel very sick at what she was saying. Oh God if he…

"Then Red John was there…and told me that this was his order. That he would let Jeffrey do it…let him rape me with just one word. I'd never be rid of him and…and everything I had would be his. My body, my mind…my child. And I realized he was right…I had nothing left anymore and I…I couldn't fight. I gave up.

"The next day he came and put me into a trance and…and I don't remember anything until I saw you in the hospital," Lisbon finished, tears still welling up in her eyes. "I'm sorry, Patrick. I'm sorry I gave up I…I just couldn't fight anymore."

He closed his eyes as if in pain and pressed his forehead against hers shaking his head gently. "No, Teresa…_I'm_ sorry."

Now she was confused. "Patrick?"

"I did this." He told her gently, his breath wafting over her face like a breeze. "I did this by going into the game too deep. By falling in love with you. By making you believe you could lose me. I did this to you...and I'm sorry."

"And I'm sorry for lying to you," she whispered to him before taking a deep breath "After all I did…do you still love me?"

Jane smiled, knowing that was an easy answer to give." There is nothing in this world that could make me stop loving you."

"Then you deserve to know."

"What?"

"I know who Red John is."

* * *

A/N: Hehehe sorry for the cliffie but you knew we were evil when you started reading this fic LOL


	13. The End of Darkness

Disclaimer: We own nothing

A/N Nerwen Aldarion: How is that for a quick turnaround hehehe, it was helpful having a list of seven names that could be RJ, we just had to pick one LOL but I'm glad you guys are enjoying this story. Hope the big climax is worth it!

A/N Steele Simz: Here you go another chapter already. Once again thank you to all those who have left reviews on our story. We are getting close to the end so hold on for the rest of this ride.

**Anonymous Reviews:**

**Vice Loser:** You still have some catching up to do LOL, hope you enjoy the rest of the fic!

**Maru: **Gracias por leer nuestro fic usted. Esperamos que disfruten el resto de ella.

**Anonymous:** Oh we are big fans of evil cliff hangers LOL, just keep reading.

* * *

Chapter 13: The End of Darkness

"What?" Jane asked shock as he moved away from Lisbon. "How long have you known."

"It is coming back to me slowly as if I'm waking up from a dream. I know bits and parts but the images of people are blurry," Lisbon explained.

"You have known all this time who he is," Jane said as he got to his feet just as the power came back on. "Who is he?"

Lisbon got to her feet and looked at him as if she was finally seeing him. "Why aren't you in the hospital?"

"Seriously that is our biggest problem right now?" He asked as he raised his voice, he winced a little as he felt the headache from the crash coming back.

"No," Lisbon agreed with him.

"Who is he," Jane demanded as he took a step closer to her. "Tell me who the bastard is."

"Haffner," Lisbon told him truthfully, Jane studied her to see if she was lying to him about the name.

"Are you sure?"

"Not a hundred percent no, but since when have odds mattered to you," she countered.

Jane ran a hand through his hair causing his curls to become completely unruly. He took a few deep breaths and then spoke to her. "When did you remember?"

"It just came to me after the blackout," she told him as she reached out for his hand. "I would never keep that from you. You have to trust me that I couldn't see his face before."

Jane looked into her eyes before reaching out and pulling her into a hug, She wrapped her arms around his waist and leaned her head against his. "I know and most likely he never revealed his face to you until the end so you wouldn't have a clear image of who he was."

"We need to tell the CBI and the team," she told him as she tightened her grip around his waist. Jane didn't say anything to her comment. "Patrick?"

"What?"

Lisbon pulled back slightly. "Don't do it."

"What?"

"Don't go after him, just let it go, let them arrest him. Let it go," she pleaded with him. Jane broke away from and headed to the door.

"No, he killed my wife and child and damn near killed you and JJ. I refused allow him to breath another moment. I swore a long time ago I would get my revenge and I promise you I will. He will not harm you or JJ as long as I am breathing," he told her before leaving the bathroom and heading down the stairs.

"Jane," she yelled as she went to follow him but remember that she was only wearing his shirt. Cussing herself out she grabbed a pair of jeans and ran downstairs Jane was just making his way out of the door when Cho appeared in front of him.

"We have a problem," he told her.

"What?" Jane asked.

"The blackout was done on purpose," Cho, explained that he had checked the breaker box outside.

"Ray?" Lisbon asked Jane. The team looked at her wondering what she was talking about.

"Boss?" Rigsby asked.

"Because he is Red John," Jane admitted. "And he knows where we are hiding you."

"So?"

"So, you really think he is going to allow you to live. I figured out his trigger, which was most likely part of his plan. Lorelei giving us our son wasn't. He wants JJ back and will do anything," Jane told her as he headed over to the bassinet JJ was sleeping in; the sound of his father voice had woken him up.

"Cho, I want you to take Lisbon out of here. Go anywhere; just get her away from here. Rigsby and Grace head back to the CBI and tell them what happened, also have Bertram call everyone he knows and give them this location," Jane order as he picked up JJ and walked over to Lisbon. "Take our son and leave, don't look back."

"Patrick, I'm not leaving."

"Yes, you are. I won't allow him to take my family again. He isn't going to win this time," he told her as he handed her JJ. Lisbon looked at him before turning around and handing JJ to Cho.

"We need to talk," she told Jane as she put a hand on his arm and forced him to follow her. When they go to the bedroom she closed the door then turned to look at him. "Are you insane?"

"No."

"You must be if you think I'm going to stand by and allow you to face a serial killer all alone," Lisbon crossed her arms and watched as Jane smirked slightly. Some of the old Lisbon was in there somewhere it was just a matter of allowing herself to forgive herself for the past. Lisbon on the other hand wasn't amused by his expression. "This isn't a joke."

"No, it isn't," Jane replied, he was tired of having the same argument with her. "He will do anything to get to our son. I will kill him before he touches a hair on JJ's head. This is the endgame; I'm done with everything. I'm done chasing him; I'm done chasing the past. I want a future, I want JJ, I want you. I want that goddamn house you thought of. I want my family," he explained to her as tears stung his eyes slightly. "I'm done playing his games."

Lisbon closed her eyes and took a deep breath before she moved into his arms, his arms instinctively wrapped around her waist as he buried his head in her hair. "I won't allow you to do this by yourself, I can't."

"Then we have a problem because I refuse to allow you to stay."

"Take Cho."

"Cho?"

Lisbon moved a little so she could watch him. "Either take Cho or I stay. You won't be alone if Red John comes looking."

"What about you?"

"Van Pelt and Rigsby will be with me," Lisbon told him calmly. "They won't allow anything to happen to JJ."

Jane studied her then placed a hand on her cheek, "Look me in the eyes and tell me you will leave." Lisbon looked at him straight in the eyes.

"I promise to leave."

A hint of something passed before her eyes and she looked at him, suddenly Jane shook his head. "You are lying to me."

"I lied to you for a month and you never picked up on anything but now you can do it again?"

"Well, you had me distracted."

"I'm not leaving," Lisbon told him as she moved away from him and opened the door. "This isn't your battle it is _ours_." She then headed out of the room. Damn the woman was stubborn Jane thought as he followed her out.

"Change of plans," Lisbon told the team as she meet them downstairs. "You three will leave, take JJ with you and get back to the CBI as soon as possible."

"Boss?" Grace questioned her decision.

"The time has come Grace," Lisbon told her as she looked at Cho waiting for him to say something about the order, to question her mental stability but he didn't open his mouth.

"What about you two?" Rigsby asked.

"Red John will come here that is certain and when he does we finish this," Lisbon told him. Jane huffed as he came up behind her. "We will finish it." She making her point clear that she wasn't leaving his side.

"It is our fight too," Grace reminded her. That was true; they had all suffered in some way or another when it came to Red John. Lisbon sighed and looked to Jane for help. He took pity on her and addressed the team.

"We need you three to protect our son. If something happens we need you to get him somewhere safe so Red John never get his hands on him," he told the team. "Please do this."

"We can work from here. Call the CBI and FBI and let them know," Rigsby informed her as he pulled out his cell and started to call their boss. The team was just as stubborn as Lisbon was when they wanted to be. The rest of the team stood there as they listened to Rigsby tell Bertram. As he was on the phone Lisbon had looked in the bassinet to see that Cho had but JJ back down. He was look up at the ceiling with his stuffed tiger sitting next to him. Jane came up behind her and placed a hand on her shoulder.

"He won't get to him," Lisbon whispered to Jane as she reached up to grab his hand in hers. Jane was about to respond when Rigsby cleared his throat.

"He wants to talk to you," Rigsby said as he handed the phone to Lisbon. Lisbon bit back a groan as she took the phone out of his hand.

"Sir?"

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"This won't look good if we go arresting a former agent who is innocent. So I want to be one hundred percent sure that he is who you say before I send a team out to capture him. I want proof, other than your word," Bertram explained. Lisbon rolled her eyes, the man was an ass.

"Sir, we don't have time to get proof. We believe that we knows where I am at."

"How?"

"Jane was run off the road."

"I know that, the local cops said it was a hit and run. This is exactly what I meant before. There is no evidence claiming that the man hitting Jane's car was Red John or working for him. You have no proof."

"Jane believes he was," Lisbon added in hopes that it might just stop Bertram little speech.

"And he killed a man he believed to be Red John once and created a media storm that the CBI barely recovered from, then created another mess that caused both of the CBI and FBI to look like fools. So you must understand I don't believe a word Jane says when it comes to this matter."

"Sir," Lisbon was about to plead with him to send someone to arrest Haffner when Bertram cut her off.

"Evidence first," he then hung up. Lisbon looked at the phone in disbelief as she headed back out to meet the team. Her eyes caught Jane's but it was Cho who spoke first.

"He wants evidence."

"Yes, and something more concrete than our word," she told Cho. "We need to use every contact we have, call in those special favors you have been holding on to. Find anything you can find on Ray, see where he is, what he is doing. Find more on the car that hit Jane," Lisbon ordered and the team went into action.

"There won't be any evidence," Jane informed her as the team started to make calls. Grace opened her computer and started to look for a signal that would allow her to access the Internet.

"We need to find some if we hope to-" Lisbon began to speak but Jane shook his head.

"You are not going to take him into custody if that is what Bertram is thinking. He has plan this too well. Any evidence you do find will only be faked by him," Jane explained as Rigsby hung up the phone.

"Boss?"

"Yes?"

"I talked to the local cops and they say the car he used was stolen. They have a eye witness statement but the man matching the description doesn't fit Haffner," he told her.

"Who did the witness describe?" Lisbon asked as her heart started to race. If Red John didn't run Jane off the road then it meant that there was only one other person that would do his dirty work.

"They are sending me the image," Rigsby told her just as his phone beep. He handed the phone to Lisbon who looked at the hand drawn sketch Jeffrey staring back at her. She looked over at Jane.

"Jeffrey," she told him as her trembling hand handed over the phone to him. Then a thought occurred to her. "What if Ray didn't mess with the box, what if he did."

"He could have. Red John rarely does the grunt work," Jane told her as he handed the phone back to Rigsby.

"We need to check the area, he could be hiding," Lisbon told Rigsby just as Cho hung up the phone.

"Will do," Rigsby motioned Cho to join him. Cho walked to the door and gave Lisbon a look. She nodded, a nod that meant whatever happens she has their back and they have hers.

"Boss?"

"Grace?"

"Haffner isn't working for any company. I followed his paper trail but it all leads to shell companies. It seems as if he quit the CBI and has been doing nothing," Grace explained.

"He hasn't been doing nothing," Jane corrected her. "He has been planning, he has been watching from wherever he is hiding."

"Keep digging Grace, find out any connection he may have to previous Red John cases," Lisbon told her as she started to head upstairs but Jane stopped her. "What?"

"Where are you going?"

"Upstairs," Lisbon said as if it was obvious.

"I'm not allowing you out of my sight," he told her as he followed her upstairs. As they the bedroom Lisbon went to the dresser that she had laid her gun on.

"Where are the other ones?"

"What?"

"I know you must have stashed a few other guns around here," Jane told her he reached over and took the gun off the dresser.

"What do you plan on doing with that?"

"Protecting you."

"Jane, you can barely shoot."

"Doesn't matter, I will use it," he told her as he waited for her to get the other gun. Lisbon let out a sigh, she put the holster gun at her hip and let him take the other weapon.

"The other ones are downstairs and I really hate when you do that."

"Who brought you the other ones?"

"The team at my request," Lisbon told him, he smirked and then motioned her to follow him downstairs. As they made it to the final step, Cho and Rigsby entered the house again.

"We checked, found nothing, not even footprints," Rigsby told her.

"He is covering his tracks," Jane told them as walked over to the table and placed the gun on it.

"What do you want us to do?" Cho asked as he watched Jane take a seat on the couch.

"We wait for him here," Jane explained calmly, "You three are going to head back to the CBI with our son. When Red John comes here we'll be waiting but he isn't going to get JJ. No matter the cost."

It was painful for both Jane and Lisbon to accept that they would have to be separated from their son but that pain was minor compared to the need to keep him safe. They both agreed that if giving up their lives was necessary to keep Red John from ever having their son…then it was an exchange they both would gladly make.

Lisbon was the one who went into project mode, packing up the diaper bag full of his clothes, diapers and formula while Jane talked over the plan with the rest of the team. None of them liked the idea of leaving Jane and Lisbon alone but it actually made sense. Red John would expect JJ to be with one of them and if they were both here then he wouldn't know that JJ was actually on his way back to Sacramento.

Still eventually she ran out of things to do and Lisbon had to dress her son up to leave. But when the time came to hand JJ over to Grace…she couldn't do it.

She looked down at her son, his eyes open and gently sucking on his pacifier. One hand came up near his mouth, furling and unfurling his tiny fingers. Tears filled her eyes and she looked up at Jane. "I…I can't, I can't lose him. Not again."

Jane put an arm around her shoulders. "We aren't going to lose him," he told her softly.

"But he's being taken from me again."

"No…no he's not. You are giving him to people you trust to look after, to keep him safe. Nothing is going to happen to him."

But Lisbon still cried and shook her head, holding her son closer to her. Jane sighed and turned her head to look at him. "You know we have to do this," he reminded her, "It's the best way to keep him safe."

She nodded, still crying softly. "I know…and you're right."

Jane leaned in to kiss her temple gently before he reached over and took their son into his arms. Lisbon cried harder as she watched him hand JJ over to Grace and then he turned and pulled Lisbon against his chest so he could comfort her as she cried.

The rest of the team stood there for a moment and watched as Jane held a sobbing Lisbon, he didn't look so happy either but he gave them a quick nod. They slowly made their way out of the safe house leaving the couple alone.

And soon the place was completely quiet except for the sound of a mother crying for her child.

* * *

It took a while for Lisbon to calm down but a glass of water and time did wonders for making her feel better. It helped that she knew she was doing the right thing, her son needed to be safe and if that meant being separated again then that is what they would do. It just felt so much like the time Red John had taken her child out of her arms, that was what made the pain even worse.

So they sat at the kitchen counter, two cups of lukewarm tea and their matching pairs of weapons in front of them with nothing to do but wait…and talk.

"I don't know if I can do this," Lisbon muttered.

"Do what?"

"Just sit here and wait for him to show up."

"Well you never did have any patience."

"Hush," she told him with a small smile on her lips.

He smiled sweetly at her, like a man deeply in love. "Lisbon…I need to tell you something."

"Really? You think now is the best time to bare your soul to me?"

"Can you think of a better time?"

She rolled her eyes. "All right fine, what do you need to tell me?"

Jane gave her a serious look. "In case I don't make it out of this—."

But Lisbon cut him off, "No, Jane. I don't want to talk about this."

"Let's be honest, Teresa, I might not survive and if I don't I want you to do one thing for me."

She shook her head. "I don't want to talk about this. I don't even want to think about this."

Jane was still looking at her. "We can't escape death, you know that."

"Well we seemed to have made a career out of it so why not now?" Lisbon wondered, thinking of the many times they both had cheated deaths. Gunshots, fire, several bombs, they had always managed to escape it.

But Jane wasn't falling for that argument. "Teresa, I want you to go on living your life. I don't want you to end up where I did. Promise me you will find happiness, that you will take JJ and run away from this state. Promise me you will not cry for me if I shouldn't survive."

"Dammit, Jane!"

"Promise."

Two tears slid down her cheek and she slowly nodded her head. "All right, I promise…but only if you promise to not let yourself die."

He smiled at her walked over to one of the drawers and pulled out a paper and pen, he started writing something down. "What are you doing?" she asked, genuinely confused.

"Writing."

"I see that," Lisbon said, "Writing what?"

"Two things. One is the promise that you just made, which I want you to sign that way you won't back out of it. Second, is giving you permission to everything I have, my properties and money. There is more than enough to keep you JJ living a comfortable life. The cash is in an account in the Cayman Island; also there is my car collection and the house. You can sell all those."

Lisbon gaped at him for a long moment, a little angry that he was even doing this. "I don't want your money, Jane and I really don't want you writing your last will and testament."

"You have no choice. Let me do this for you and JJ."

She really hated that he was talking like this…and that he was preparing for death like he thought it was inevitable. But Jane wasn't incorrect; it might not be a bad idea to be at least somewhat prepared. "Fine!" Lisbon pouted for several minutes before asking sullenly. "What if I die?"

"Excuse me?"

Lisbon gave him a look. "Well if you are preparing for death. What about me? I'm here; I'm just as likely to die in all of this as you. I don't have a bank account in the Caribbean but I do have a 401K and a son that needs to be provided for."

"Teresa..." Jane said warningly, making it clear he wasn't prepared to talk about _her_ death.

"Or what if we both die? What then? Who gets JJ? "

Jane stood there silently, the thought had crossed his mind but he refuse to dwell on it. "Rigsby would be a good candidate."

"Not one of my brothers?"

He shrugged. "Or one of your brothers. That is after they recover from the shock that you had a son with your...what was it you said...'pain in the ass consultant?"

"You're forgetting arrogant jackass"

"Forgive me." He said with a grin. "Who do you think JJ will be safer with, who will tell him about his parents?" Jane asked seriously.

Lisbon considered that. "Rigsby...and the rest of the team. They are the ones who know you. But my brothers will want to have some visitation."

"Fair enough." He said as he took out another piece of paper and wrote done their requirements before signing it. "Here."

She couldn't help but point out a fact. "You do realize that without a lawyer or witnesses this is basically worthless right?"

"Yes, but they will make it happen." Jane pointed out and she knew he was right. "I do have one more request after you sign the paper."

"What?" she asked, signing the paper, not even glancing up at him.

Jane took a step closer to her. "If we make it out of this alive I want you to do me one thing."

She eyed him suspiciously..."What do you want me to do?"

He looked her calmly in the eyes. "Marry me."

Once more she was gaping at him, completely stunned. She hadn't thought that those words would ever come from his lips…no matter how much she's hoped. But that didn't mean she was happy with this situation. "Are you kidding me?"

"No," Jane replied calmly, "I can go down on one knee if you want. I already have the ring. It is sitting in the attic waiting for you. Already sized and everything."

"You did _what_?"

Jane continued, as if he was talking about the weather and not marriage. "I got it a few day before you left. Saw it in the store when I was out. It felt right buying it."

"You bought an engagement ring after only a month?"

"Well, technically it has been longer than a month. We were a couple long before we started having sex."

Lisbon scoffed at that. "Oh really? And I just wasn't aware of this?"

Jane grinned again. "Are you purposely avoiding answering the question that we both know the answer to already?"

She glared at him, never liking it when he was being a smart ass. "You don't know the answer. I could say no."

"Really?"

"Yes! This is a terrible way to propose! We are in a safe house, I'm half crazy, we were just talking about death and…and I'm wearing your shirt!" That last point was pathetic but it did highlight how incredibly odd this whole proposal was.

"Is that all? Anyhow you already told the hospital you were my wife."

She rolled her eyes again. "That was just to get to your room, not to give you any ideas."

"You can't tell me the thought never cross your mind of what it would be like to be married to me."

Lisbon shook her head, this wasn't funny anymore. "Why do you want to marry me?"

"Because you have seen me at my worst and you haven't left my side yet. You have stood up for me for times that I can count. And when I do think of the future in those early morning hours I always picture you by my side. No one else, just you."

Lisbon stared at him, his beautiful speech struck a chord with her…but she was still hesitant. "What about your family? Or is this just because we have a child together now?"

"I will always love my family they will always hold a piece of my heart." Jane looked at her earnestly. "You, my dear, hold the other. You and JJ and even if JJ didn't exist I would still be asking you to marry me. I am in love with you Teresa, with my entire heart and soul."

Tears filled her eyes and spilled down her cheeks but she smiled. "You know you'll have to stay alive in order to marry me."

"Say yes and I'll promise to stay alive."

That made her smile again. "You really know how to get a woman to agree to your demands."

"Is that a yes?" He grinned.

"You're the psychic. What do you think?"

He stepped closer to her, taking her hand in his. "I want to hear you say it, out loud."

She looked right into his eyes, giving him her full answer. "Yes, Patrick. I'll marry you."

Jane smiled a real smile of pure joy before pulling her into his arms and kissing her. She kissed him back with abandon, enjoying this moment of happiness in the chaotic time. She was happy, she was in love and now she was engaged. Who would have thought that her wayward consultant would be the father of her child and eventual husband?

She had a feeling that Jane would say he knew all along.

* * *

The newly engaged didn't have time to do more than kiss and hold each other in celebration of their new status. She was still in Jane's arms, listening to his heartbeat, marveling how things felt so different knowing that the future was decided. Provided both of them could make it out of this alive.

The sound of someone opening the front door alerted both of them that the time to bask in their joy was now over. Lisbon and Jane both immediately went for their weapons with Lisbon being obviously more comfortable with hers. She still hated the idea of Jane with a gun but he'd proved more than capable of using them in the past.

Lisbon was the first one to turn the corner and point her gun straight at the front door. "Jesus Christ, Grace what are you doing here?"

Their friend was holding JJ who was starting to fuss a little now. The woman looked a frightened, but Lisbon assumed that was because of the two guns pointed at them. "We…we had some car trouble," Grace explained, "We had to come back."

"Where are Cho and Rigsby?"

Jane was more focused on something else. "Grace…what is going on?"

She stared back at Jane, her eyes wide and she looked very upset. That was when Lisbon knew for sure that something was very wrong.

Then she saw the man behind her.

It took Lisbon a moment to recognize that Jeffrey had a weapon pointed straight at Grace and JJ. A lot went through her mind in those two seconds of recognition. She remembered Jeffrey dragging her out of the room to force her to take a pregnancy test, her head slamming against each step as he pulled her down the steps back to the basement…and of course that terrifying moment where he almost raped her.

"Don't shoot," Jane told her, his voice far too calm.

"He has a gun pointed at our son," Lisbon reminded him.

"And you are shaking so much you are more likely to hit Grace or JJ."

She looked down and saw that Jane was right, her gun was shaking so much in her hands it was far too dangerous for her to even be holding it. "Jane…do you think you could make that shot."

"No."

That was the answer she expected. She was the marksman; Jane just knew which end the bullets came out of. Perhaps he'd been right to try and force her to leave, in the end she was useless when still recovering from PTSD.

So Jane and Lisbon both lowered their weapons and put them to the ground before Jeffrey silently prodded Grace to enter the house. She immediately went over to the bassinet to lay JJ down. Lisbon tried to go over to her son but Jeffrey pointed his gun straight at her and shook his head. The message was clear even without speaking; no one was going to be allowed near JJ.

The three adults were huddled in the entrance to living room while the baby whimpered softly in the bassinet. He probably needed to be changed but they weren't going to have the chance to sooth him.

Jeffrey kept his eyes on him before walking over to the front door and nodding his head. He then stepped aside to let the real reason they were here walk through the door.

Red John.

He stepped in like Darth Vader walking onto the ship; he was all theatrics, just like his kills and his taunts. He turned and gave his disciple an approving look. "Thank you, Jeffrey. You have been most helpful."

A gunshot made everyone jump and the sound caused JJ to start screaming. Lisbon wondered who was shot, especially since her gun was now on the ground. But it wasn't Jane or Grace who fell but Jeffrey who for the first time made a sound…a moan of pain. Then he slumped the floor where blood began to slowly pool around him.

Red John revealed the gun he'd been holding and turned to look at them. "I'm afraid his usefulness was finished. I have more important matters on hand then my silent disciple here." He took a few more steps into the room. "Now, where is my son?' Red John asked calmly.

"He isn't your son," Jane growled out. It was all so surreal, years of planning and chasing and traps, months of torture and pain…and now they were at the end of it all.

"Not in the true sense but he will come to know me as his father."

"Over my dead body."

"That can be arranged easily."

"Go to hell, Ray," Lisbon spat out. Red John laughed as he pulled off his mask.

"Took you long enough and you have the gall to call yourselves agents. As for you I would have thought you figured it out from our first meeting," He addressed Jane as he stepped into the house and threw the mask onto the couch.

"Why?" Jane asked.

"Why? Why did I go after your family?" Ray asked as he stopped right next to the couch he looked down at the bassinet that was holding JJ. "You can't even imagine my delight when I found out that Teresa was with child, even better since it was your child."

Lisbon and Jane both felt sick as they watch Ray looking over at JJ.

"I knew allowing Teresa to be with you would cause you to lose control. Everyone could see that the two of you were in love, despite how much you both push the thoughts away. Then when she came to me with a deal to save you, I knew I had the perfect opportunity to get my final revenge," Ray moved his eyes away from the bassinet and looked up at Jane. "I planned on killing her just to see how far you go, how deep you would sink into depression, but god works in mysterious ways."

"Will you get to your damn point?" Jane asked annoyed.

"Eager to die?"

"I'm not the one dying."

"Answer me this, Patrick. Why did she not tell you who I was or for that fact why did you never ask the moment you broke her?"

"Because you drugged me you asshole," Lisbon snarled at Ray. His eyes shifted over to hers and he gave her a quick smirk.

"Thank you Teresa, but you are not the person I wanted the answer from," he told her before he looked back over at Jane who held his glaze.

"Do you think that you are the only thing I care about?" Jane asked calmly.

"You did spend ten years trying to find me, you devoted your life to this very moment," Ray pointed out. He did have a point, Jane had spent ten years searching for the man in front of him but that seemed unimportant now that he thought about it.

"A man can change his priorities when something more important comes along," Jane replied as he glanced down at his son. His son and Lisbon were more important than his need for revenge. Somewhere between the time they first kissed and now his revenge had taken a backseat.

Ray noticed Jane looking at JJ." And when I take it away?"

Jane smiled at him "You won't." He sounded arrogant even to himself and out of the corner of his eyes he could see Lisbon pleading him to stop being a smart ass for once in his life.

"I'm simply reclaiming my property," Ray informed as he reach down to stroke JJ cheek, it seem to calm him down. Jane and Lisbon struggled as they watched Ray calm down their son. A few seconds later and Lisbon couldn't take it anymore.

"He doesn't belong to you." Lisbon snarled as she took one step closer to JJ. Ray lifted the gun to silently inform her one more step and things would turn ugly. Jane placed a hand on her arm and pulled her back gently to him.

"And you believe he belongs to you?" Ray asked actually stunned.

"He's my son! I gave birth to him in that hell hole you kept me in!" Lisbon shouted at him. She had suffered because of him, had been abused because of him, she was damn sure she wasn't about to let him have her son.

"He is only yours because I allowed you to be with Patrick. If it wasn't for me he wouldn't exist so yes he belongs to me," Ray informed her as he looked down at JJ.

"You twisted son of a bitch," Lisbon hissed as she made a fist with her hand. He was pushing her buttons; she knew it was only a matter of time before he said something that would cause her to go after him.

"You knew that when you came begging me. So who is worse?" Ray asked. That was it, comparing herself to him, making it sound like she was just as bad, that was the trigger. She made a jump towards Ray but Jane caught her in the middle and pulled her against his chest. She struggled to get away but he kept his grip on her.

"Calm down," he whispered in her ear, then look at Ray. "No matter what led to JJ's conception, the fact still remains that you will not have him. Ever."

Jane loosened his grip as Lisbon started to calm down a little. She knew he was right, this wasn't the time to cause a scene, their son was way too close to Ray and with their guns on the floor they were at the mercy of the man with the weapon.

"You seem so sure of yourself Patrick," Ray told him as he watched Jane let Lisbon go.

"You won't take my family again."

"Family?" Ray laughed. "Are you sure you actually understand that term?"

"More than you ever will. You find people, broke, damaged, maybe you even create some that way. Then you draw them into a false twisted web of deceit and destruction, you make them believe they have found what they truly want and need but in reality you are creating mindless drones for your use and eventual disposal. That's not a family, it's a cult and you're their king," Jane declared as he stared down Ray.

Lisbon looked at him shocked as did Grace, he had never said anything like that about Red John until this moment and more importantly he was correct.

"Marvelous," Ray smiled and gave him a small applause. "You finally understand. Though I suppose it took losing one to truly appreciate it. Just remember, Patrick. I did that."

The two of them stared at each other. It seemed as if Ray was waiting for something from Jane.

"What?" Jane asked finally. "Do you want me to say thank you for that?"

"You may not appreciate the lesson but that is the mark of a good student," Ray informed with a smile. "You have done well, my friend."

"I'm not your student and I'm damn well not your friend," Jane hissed as he took a step towards Ray. "The lessons are over. It ends now."

Ray lifted the gun that was in his hand and pointed it towards Jane.

"Jane!" Lisbon yelled as she reached out to him but he shrugged her away. This was between him and Ray; it was their cat and mouse game.

"Any last words?" Ray asked as Jane stopped in front of him.

"Yes?" Jane replied as he straightened up.

"And those are?" Ray asked curious.

Jane smiled at him and whispered. "I win." Just as a shot rang out.

* * *

A/N: Hehehe I know, we suck. We love to end it this way to keep you coming back LOL


	14. For Love

Disclaimer: We own nothing

A/N Nerwen Aldarion: Wow! I can't believe this fic is over, my first collab with someone other than my sister and I think it was a success...might have to do it again ;-) Thanks for all of the support for this story, I couldn't have done it without my partner in crime Steele Simz

A/N Steele Simz: So here it is the final chapter. I want to first thank all those who have read the story and who have left reviews. Second I want to say thank you to Nerwen for an amazing experience. I can't begin to tell you how much fun it was coming up with ideas for scenes. It has bee a great honor to work with her throughout this story. Thank you Nerwen.

**Anonymous Reviews:**

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* * *

Chapter 14: For Love

"I win," were the last words Lisbon swore she would ever hear Jane say as the sound of the gunshot rang out around them. Her eyes focused on Jane and Ray waiting for something to happen, and then slowly Ray smiled before falling to his knees in front of Jane. JJ was screaming as Lisbon ran over and picked up him. She held him close to her when she looked over at Jane.

"Jane," Lisbon whispered. His eyes weren't focus on Ray but rather focus on something outside. Following his glaze her eyes set upon her former boss holding a gun in his hand. "Boss?"

"You okay?" He asked as he lower the gun to Ray and made his way over to them.

"How did you get-"?

"It's a long story."

"It's over," Jane whispered as he took a step back. "It's over."

"Grace," Rigsby yelled as he came through the door with Cho. He ran over to her. "You okay?" She nodded yes as his arms wrapped around her.

Minelli bent down to check for a pulse on Ray, he placed his fingers on the side of his neck and then looked up at Lisbon and Jane, he shook his head.

"Thank God," Lisbon whispered as she looked at Jane. He looked down at her and JJ before pulling her to him, burying his head in her neck.

"I'm going to call the local cops," Minelli told them as he left the room.

"What happened?" Grace asked Rigsby as she broke away from him. "The last time I saw you two Cho had just slammed on the brakes as we hit the other car."

"We don't know, I woke up with Minelli standing over me. We explained what happened and he drove us over here," Rigsby explained as he looked over at Jane and Lisbon who weren't moving away from each other.

Lisbon felt the hot tears on her shoulder as she held onto her son and Jane. When the tears finally dried up he lifted his head and met her eyes before leaning in to kiss her. She kissed him back allowing all the emotions she felt to be said in one kiss.

"They should be here shortly," Minelli stated as he walked back into the room. Jane and Lisbon broke the kiss but didn't move away from each other. "What happened?"

"He came back for JJ," Lisbon replied as she looked at Minelli then it dawned on her. "You saw him," she told Jane.

"Yes, I saw him for split second."

"You knew he might come in."

"Most likely," he said. She hit him on the shoulder.

"You're an idiot," she accused him. "You could have died, you didn't know he was armed."

"He is a former agent, of course he would be armed."

"You're a jerk," she replied without any real anger. Jane smiled and pulled her back to him.

"It's over," he whispered into her ear. He heard the sirens in the background and watched as Minelli headed back out of the house.

"What happens now?" Lisbon muttered against his chest.

Jane grinned as he gave her another kiss. "I kept my end of the agreement."

Lisbon gave him a small chuckle. "Yes you did."

"So are you going to keep your end?"

"I said yes already, didn't I?" She leaned up to kiss him just as she heard Grace draw in a gasp.

"You're engaged?"

"What?" Rigsby asked shocked. "When?"

"Since before he showed up," Jane explained.

"Are you serious?" Grace asked as she smiled at them. Lisbon nodded.

"About time," Cho stated just as the local cops came in. Lisbon looked at Jane and grabbed his hand.

"What?"

"Come," she told him as she led him upstairs with JJ still in her arms.

* * *

Jane sat next down to Lisbon on the bed as he watched her hold their son, below them in the living room the area would soon be swarming with every known agency trying to get detailed information on what had occurred. It wouldn't be long before people came asking question but right now she just wanted to be alone with him.

"You okay?" She asked softly as she held JJ who after being changed had finally started to calm down.

"I'll be fine," he replied without looking at her.

"Patrick, you can talk to me."

"I don't know what I'm supposed to feel," he told her honestly as he finally looked at her. "Should I feel overjoyed that the man who killed my family is dead, should I be thankful that you and JJ are alive?" he explained as he reach a hand out to his son who grabbed one of his father's fingers in his small hand.

"It's understandable, you have been through a lot."

"Mostly I feel tired," he told he as he leaned his head against hers. "I just want to crawl into this bed and have you sleeping next to me."

"That sounds good," she told him as she closed her eyes. A soft knock forced Jane to move away from Lisbon as he went over to open the door.

"They want to ask you some questions," Minelli told him as he looked over Jane shoulder to see Lisbon.

"Okay," Jane nodded and opened the door wider. "I'll be back," he told Lisbon before slipping out of the room.

"How is he?" Minelli asked as he entered the room and his focused on JJ.

"It is going to take time but I'm certain he will be okay in the long run," she told him as she got to her feet and walked over to him. "Thank you for saving him Virgil."

"I couldn't let anything happen to my godson," Minelli told her as he looked down at JJ with a smile.

"You're his godfather?"

"Jane didn't tell you."

"No, he sort forgot to mention that," Lisbon smiled as she handed JJ over to Minelli. "But he is correct, there is no better godfather for our son."

"You know when I left the CBI I wondered what would happen to you, I figured you would find someone to settle down with and have a family," he told her as he gentle swayed JJ back and forth.

"You just never thought it would be with Jane."

"I will admit it cross my mind the more I heard rumors through the grapevine."

"You shouldn't listen to those rumors," Lisbon laughed with Minelli.

"My favorite had to be the one that you two were secretly married," he told her as he handed her JJ back.

"Really?" Lisbon asked as she bit her lip. Minelli studied her for a few moments.

"You two aren't married are you?"

Lisbon laughed and shook her head before smiling. "Not yet. He proposed and I accepted."

Minelli gaped at her as she looked up to the man who she considered a father figure after all these years. "He proposed right before Ray showed up. Leave it to him to take the most inappropriate time to do something and do it anyhow."

"Lisbon, we are talking about Jane here. You know the man is a pain in the ass, who has pissed off more people working in law enforcement than all the criminals in California combined. Are you sure you are willing to spend the rest of your life with him?" Minelli asked her. Lisbon smiled sweetly at him.

"I love him," she replied simply. "I didn't planned on falling in love with him the day he walked into the CBI looking homeless but somewhere along the way he became the most important person in my life."

Minelli let out a sigh and then smiled at her. "I don't know what to say."

"Say you will be there when we make if official."

"I wouldn't miss it for the world."

"Good, because I need someone to keep my brothers away from killing Jane. They never liked him to start with and when we tell them I'm certain they will want to make sure Jane knows that he is dead if he ever hurts me."

"I think you can protect him from your brothers," he grinned at her before pulling her into a quick hug. Lisbon moved back to the bed and sat down.

"What happens now?"

"What do you mean?"

"You know exactly what I mean."

"Well, neither of you pulled the trigger so I highly doubt you will have any problems with the higher-ups. However, be prepared for the media storm that is about to follow you two. You and your team are responsible for the death of a famous serial killer. They will be asking questions," Minelli explained to her as Lisbon closed her eyes.

"You pulled the trigger, what happens to you?"

"Let me worry about myself. For now worry about your family," he told her. "Do your brothers know?"

She knew he was referring to the baby currently in her arms. She had to tell them, speak with them to let them know not only she was safe but also that they had a nephew.

"No, they don't," Cho told them as he appeared at the door. "Do you want to call them?"

Lisbon took a deep breath and looked over at Cho. "I need to tell them in person."

"I'll contact them for you and have them meet us at the CBI," he told her. "The cops want your statement downstairs."

Lisbon nodded. "Thanks Cho," he than walked away leaving Lisbon with Minelli.

"Want me to watch him?" Minelli asked with a smile as his eyes glanced over at JJ who was starting to fall asleep.

"Thank you," she told him as he took a seat next to her and she handled JJ over to him softly. She got to her feet, bent down and gave JJ a quick kiss before heading downstairs.

"Ma'am," one the officers was at the bottom of the stairs waiting for her. "We need your statement."

"Of course," she told him as the officer led her past the body that was being covered with a blanket she noticed that their guns had been picked up and placed in bags that were now sitting in a box, most likely to be tested to see if they had fired the shot. She noticed that Van Pelt and Rigsby were talking to another officer and Cho was on the phone talking to Bertram mostly likely. As she headed outside she glanced over her shoulder to see Jane talking with another officer, their eyes met and he gave her a smile before focusing on the officer again.

"Is it okay if we talk out here?" The officer asked as he pulled out a notepad and pen.

"This is fine," she told him as she looked back inside the house.

"Is there a problem?"

Lisbon shook her head and focused on the officer, "I just want to get this over with."

"I need you to tell me everything that has happened."

"Where do you want to start?"

"At the beginning."

"Which one?"

"Excuse me?"

"The one that starts with that bastard murdering Jane's family, the one in which Jane comes to work for the CBI, or the one in which I decided to have a relationship with Jane only to give up my freedom and almost my son?" Lisbon asked the officer who lifted an eyebrow at her.

"I meant this evening," he told her as he shook his head and place the pen to the notepad.

"Jane and I knew it was the end, we felt it," she told him before going into detail of what happened.

* * *

Jane unlocked the door and let Lisbon into her house; she stopped in the middle of the living room with JJ in her arms and looked around as Jane turned on the light.

"Is something wrong?" He asked as he dropped the keys on the table and walked over to her.

"I haven't been here in a long time," she told him. Granted she never spent much time at home but it was her home, now it felt as if it belonged to someone else.

"It is only temporary," he told her as he read her mind. She glared at him as he headed into the kitchen. Curious she followed him.

"What are you doing?" She asked as he grabbed the 24-hour take-out menu off the fridge.

"Ordering dinner," he told her as he looked over his option.

"God, that sounds good," she told him as she realize how hungry she was. After giving their statements they had to wait for Bertram who talked to them and asked his own questions. It was much later when they finally were able to head back to Sacramento. Tomorrow they would talk to the media and other higher-ups and more importantly she would be talking to her brothers who were flying tonight to be there tomorrow.

"I'll order food and you can take a shower before it gets here," he told her as he pulled out his cell-phone and called in the order. As he placed the cell-phone on the counter he looked back at Lisbon who had a smirk on her face. "What?"

"A shower _together_ sounds much more pleasing than alone," she told with gleam in her eyes.

"If we do that then the food is going to get cold," he told her as he took JJ out of her hands. "And who will watch JJ?"

"JJ is almost asleep which gives us plenty time to shower before the food arrives, unless you are a coward?" She asked as she headed out of the kitchen, she stop short of the entrance and looked over at him. "Which is it?" She asked before leaving him alone there with their son.

"JJ, your mother is a evil woman sometimes," he whispered to his son as he followed Lisbon. By the time he got JJ down and undress Lisbon was already in the shower, opening the door he walked in and pulled her into his arms. "Does that answer your question?"

"Kiss me," she told him as her arms wrapped around his neck and her fingers twisted themselves into his damp curls. He smiled and leaned down to kiss her before lifting her up, she wrapped her legs around his waist and felt him nudge her folds, shuddering she broke the kiss and buried her head into his shoulder as she ground her hips against him.

"Look at me," he told her as he stilled their movements. She complied and looked at him, as soon as their eyes locked he thrust into her and she let out a moan. "Tell me you love me."

"I love you," she whispered as she captured his lips with hers, he smile and picked up his movement again. Her fingers clenched his shoulders as he continued to thrust into her, it didn't take her long to feel her body climax against him, she kissed him once more as he continued then she felt him explode inside her, he pushed her against the shower wall to keep his balance as he came back down. Finally he slipped out of her, while she lower her legs back to the shower floor, wrapping her arms around his waist she leaned her head against his chest as he reach for the shampoo.

"Let me," he told her as she lifted her head away from him and he lather shampoo into her hair. As he finished, he moved slightly to allow her to rinse out the shampoo as he grabbed the bottle of body wash and added to the palm of his hands. He moved his hands up down her body causing her shiver, as he hands touched her breast she arched into him, he just smiled and got down on his knees as he worked his way down the rest of her body. The only coherent thought she could come up with was that he was masterful with hands, that was until his tongue hit her folds.

By the time they had exited the shower the water had turned cold and they heard the sound of the doorbell. Jane smiled at her and wrapped a towel around himself before heading downstairs to get the food. Lisbon grabbed another towel and wrapped it around her as she went through her drawers and found a comb. She had just finished putting her hair in a ponytail when Jane came back upstairs with the food.

"Want some food?" He asked as he motioned to the bag in his hands. She smiled and walked by him into the bedroom, dropped the towel and grabbed his discarded shirt before slipping into it. Then she took the bag of food out of his hand.

"Let's eat downstairs," she told him as she headed out of the bedroom. Jane smiled and slipped into his boxers before joining her downstairs.

* * *

"Are you ready to tell them tomorrow?" Jane asked just as he lay down on the bed, Lisbon was checking on JJ with a smile her face.

"Tomorrow will be fine," she told him as she got into bed and moved over to him, her head falling onto his chest, he reach over and turned off the light before wrapping his arms around her. "I'm more worried about you."

"Why?"

"You always said you wanted revenge but you never said what you would do when you finally got that revenge."

Jane sighed and tightened his arms around her, "I want to be with you."

"I meant career wise," she interjected with a hint of annoyance.

Jane removed his arms and reach down to lift her chin so she could focus on him, "Teresa, I'm not going anywhere. Once upon a time I might have gone somewhere but you are stuck with me...at home and at work."

"Not unless I kill you," she chuckled.

"Your usual threat," he replied as he leaned down to kiss her. "Get some sleep, we have a busy day tomorrow."

"Only if you do also," she told him as she laid her head back down on his chest.

"For the first time I think sleep will come easy," he told her before yawning. He waited until he heard her even breathing then shut his eyes and allowed himself to fall into a peaceful sleep.

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

Lisbon was nervous when she came back from feeding JJ in the break room and was informed that all three of her brothers were now waiting in her office. She knew that they had all caught a last minute flight when Cho called them to say they had news on their sister and should come immediately; they probably assumed her body had been found. Well they would be in for a pleasant surprise.

"Suddenly I'm scared," Lisbon admitted to Jane, their son cooed and reached up with his tiny hands to try and grab his mother's hair.

"Why?" Jane asked, "You're going to be giving them the best day of their lives."

"But they don't know anything that happened, not Red John, not you and definitely not JJ."

"They aren't going to be angry that you had a child," Jane pointed out.

"It's going to be a lot to take in."

"There can never be enough good news."

She shook her head. "You aren't going to let me out of this one are you?"

Jane grinned. "You don't really want to get out of this."

Lisbon sighed and considered the baby in her arms. "Why don't you take JJ for a few minutes, I think it will be easier if I don't shock them all at once."

Jane nodded and happily accepted their child. "I'll wait out here, when you're ready for his uncles to meet him, just let me know."

She smiled gratefully and sweetly kissed his cheek before taking another deep breath and finally heading towards her office. She still hesitated for a moment before opening the door to her office and stepping inside.

It took one second for her brothers to turn and look at the occupant, it took three seconds for them to finally register just who they were seeing and a full four seconds for all three of them to get their voices back. "Teresa?" They said at the same time, mouths agape and eyes wide with shock.

Lisbon's eyes immediately filled with tears but she smiled and nodded her head. In another second they flanked her in one giant hug. She couldn't breathe for a few seconds and probably would have fallen over if she wasn't being held up by her three large brothers. They were all crying, no surprises there; it was definitely the most overwhelming moment they had ever shared.

They were still hugging and crying when Lisbon decided the best thing to do was to break the ice as best as she could. "Guys," Lisbon said with an exaggerated voice, "I can't breathe."

They all chuckled a little and they took a step back to take a better look at her. "What happened, Reese?" Tommy was the first to ask.

She sighed and did her best to look strong. "I…uhh I was held captive by Red John for almost a year." Jane had agreed that her brothers didn't need to know _everything_, just the bare minimum. "Things were not good obviously but my team found me and they took care of me and I'm all right now."

That was almost a lie but she did not want to burden her brothers with her PTSD and other anxieties that she was going through. She wanted them to believe that everything really was fine, even now she still wanted to protect them.

"When did they find you?"

Lisbon thought about lying but she knew that it probably wouldn't work; James was almost as good at reading her as Jane. "They found me about three weeks ago."

"What?" Will exclaimed, "Why didn't they tell us?"

"There were a few…complications." They stared at her with identical looks demanding more information. "I was hypnotized," she admitted, "and I had to be kept in the hospital to protect everyone…but Jane found the trigger and I'm fine now," she added very quickly.

"When did this happen?"

"A week ago. After that I was kept in a safe house because until Red John was found. He's dead," Lisbon told them, "he was shot and killed yesterday."

They sighed in relief. "So you are safe now?" Tommy asked.

She nodded. "I'll be fine, once I pass my psych evals I'll be back to work." She omitted the fact that she probably wouldn't be passing said evaluations for several months, there was no sugar coating that she had a lot of issues to work through. Jane had already informed her that Sophie Miller was going to be her therapist, while mildly annoyed that he'd set it up without telling her, Lisbon was grateful for his choice. Dr. Miller was probably the only person she could really trust to help her.

Her brothers seemed relaxed now that they were assured their sister was truly going to be fine. Lisbon decided that now as probably the best time to drop the rest of the news on their laps. "There is something else." She was actually amused as they seemed to brace themselves for the worst. "I had a baby…a son."

For a second she was shocked to see that they looked horrified and it took her a few moments to realize exactly what they were assuming. "Oh God, no, nothing like that happened. I swear, I…I was already pregnant when I was taken."

"Oh thank God," Tommy said in relief.

But James wasn't so easily placated. "Then who is the father?"

Oh boy, that was the part that would probably stun them the most, more than anything else. "Uhh actually the father is…Jane." Three pairs of green eyes stared at her in shock. "I…I was sleeping with him for about a month before and…and Red John held me captive so he could have the baby. But we have him now and he's healthy so you don't have anything to be concerned about."

Obviously they were still stuck on the fact that she'd been sleeping with her consultant and not on the status of her child. "Jane?" Tommy asked, "As in your consultant and the guy who taught Annie to pickpocket."

Of course he would focus on that.

Lisbon nodded numbly. "Yeah, that's Jane."

"And you slept with him?" James asked. Again she nodded her head, feeling like a teenager being chastened by her parents.

"Did you ever think to use protection?" Will piped in.

Lisbon gaped at him. "We did!" She hissed and then colored as she remembered that wasn't entirely true, "Most of the time…I wasn't on the pill at the time," she said covering her eyes with embarrassment, "and I cannot believe we are even having this conversation"

"Yeah, well how do you think we feel?" James pointed out, "We get told that you are missing, then you show up and say you had a child with your consultant. It's a little overwhelming."

"I know," Lisbon replied, "I know it is a lot to take in." She was quiet for a moment before decided it was better just to pull the rest of the band-aid off too. "There's more." All three snapped their heads up and waited for the next bombshell. "Jane and I are engaged."

"What?!" They all shouted at the same time.

Lisbon winced a little and held up her hands in defense. "We are in love, we have a baby together, we want to get married and make it all official."

"Are you crazy?"

"No," Lisbon hissed, a little annoyed that she had to defend herself here. "I'm happy. I'm in love."

They didn't accept that answer. "Where the hell is?" James demanded.

"He is with our son," Lisbon told them quickly, "and you need to accept what is happening. Patrick is not a bad guy here, he loves me, he took care of our son while I was in the hospital, he got me out of the trance I was in and took care of both of us when Red John was trying to take our son back. He makes me happy…and so do I. We are going to be family together and that is a good thing, a _very_ good thing."

"I want to talk to him."

"So you can beat him up?"

"No, so can I talk to him," James said looking out in the bullpen.

"No," Lisbon shook her head, "you are not going to hurt him."

"He knocked you up, ask you to marry him and never once talked to us."

"I am not sixteen so don't ever use that phrase again," she told him firmly, "and he does not need your permission to marry me."

"You are our sister."

"Yes, but I'm an adult. I can take of myself." Lisbon reminded him. "We both chose to do this and this is what is going to happen. Just be happy for me."

"Are you going to let us see him?" James asked.

She raised an eyebrow. "Patrick or my son?"

"Both."

"Only if you promise to not hurt him." She told him, her voice making it clear that this was not negotiable.

"Reese."

"I mean it!"

James gritted his teeth. "Fine I promise not to hurt him."

Now she turned to the remaining brothers. "And you two?" They both nodded there heads and Lisbon finally relaxed. "All right I'll got get him.

She stepped out of the office, not sure if this really was the best of family gatherings since it had quickly gone from being grateful that she was alive to all three of them wanting to kick Jane's ass. But she hoped that they would calm down once they saw their new nephew.

Jane was sitting on his couch with JJ in lap, he was holding him up and talking to him in a soft voice, doing what he could to make their son smile. He looked up when she walked in. "Have they decided on which method they are going to kill me with?"

"Nope," Lisbon admitted, "But I'm sure that James will be the one who attacks first."

"Wonderful."

She grinned. "They want to meet JJ."

"Ah, is it safe for me to enter or should you just take him?" Jane asked, he was joking…somewhat.

Lisbon shrugged. "They want to see you too."

"All right," Jane said, standing up, "But I'm keeping him. They'll be less likely to hurt me this way."

"Good plan," she said before leading him towards her office. Lisbon entered first, putting on a big smile. "Guys, this is my son, Joshua Anthony Jane, but we call him JJ."

Jane grinned at her. "Says the woman who hated the nickname."

"Shut up."

"At least he wasn't named after you," Will said.

Tommy was looking at the baby with real wonder in his eyes. JJ was making little noises, soft gasps and coos. "Can I hold him?" Jane nodded, giving his son a quick kiss on the head before carefully handing JJ over to his uncle. Tommy was very gentle, lighting up as soon as his new nephew was in his arms. "Thank God he looks like his mom."

"That's what I said," Jane told him honestly. He smiled at Will. "You must be William, it is nice to meet you," he shook Will's hand, the latter looked a little overwhelmed and unsure but Jane was always easy going even in situations like this. Then his eyes turned to James. "And you must be James, it's nice to meet you too."

But rather than shake Jane's hand, James chose to punch him across the face.

"James!" Lisbon exclaimed, rushing over to her fiancé. "Why did you do that?"

"For all the crap he put you through."

"At least his punch doesn't hurt as much as yours." Jane said as he tested his jaw.

"Yes but I told him NOT to do that," Lisbon said, glaring at her brother.

"What?"

"You said you wouldn't hurt him!"

"No, I never said I wouldn't hurt Jane." James pointed out. "You asked me to promise not to hurt him and I kept my promise. I didn't hurt my nephew."

Jane was impressed by her brother's ability to twist their agreement around. "Must of skipped a generation when it came to you, Teresa," he smirked earning him a slap on the arm.

He winced. "Be glad it isn't your face." She told him.

He rose to his feet, a little worse for the wear but mostly all right. Jane looked at them calmly. "I know why you three are upset. I haven't done anything to endear myself towards you; in fact everything I've done until now seems to contradict how much I love your sister. But that is the truth. I love her, I'm so in love with her that I cannot imagine living another second without her. And I love our son. You might not believe me but the truth is that all I want is to make her happy, to be a family with her. I will never do anything that will hurt her again, you have my promise. I'll give you permission to shoot me if I ever break her heart if that is your wish."

Lisbon was more than a little touched by his words. Actually she wanted to kiss him for saying something so beautiful. But instead she turned to her brothers and smiled. "See this is what I was talking about. He is a good guy."

"Really?" James asked doubtfully

She groaned. "James, you have to trust me."

"I don't trust _him_."

"That's all right," Jane answered for her, "I need to earn that."

"Jane." Lisbon said softly, "You don't have to earn anything from them."

"Yes I do," Jane replied, "the only thing they know is that I'm the consultant that made you miserable, almost got you killed and fired several times, broke your heart then got you pregnant."

"Exactly," James replied as he still glared at Jane.

Jane just smiled. "I'm going to prove to you that I've changed...I'm not going to hurt her anymore. I'm going to love her and marry her. You don't have to worry about her, I'll never let anything happen to her again."

"You can't promise that you won't hurt her."

"Of course I can," Jane replied, "and I will. I promise that I will not hurt your sister ever again."

"Enough of this. You three need to trust that I love him and he loves me. That is it. He is going to be part of my life and yours. And if you want to be of JJ's life then I expect you to treat his father as part as the family."

Her brothers were silent for a moment, realizing what this all meant. "Then I guess that settles it." Tommy said, "Welcome to the family."

* * *

Is was after JJ had been passed to each of her brothers and she had promise that her and Jane would meet them for dinner that Lisbon found herself sitting in Bertram office alone. Jane had declined going with her muttering something about his attic and disappeared before she could force him to join her. He was definitely going to pay for leaving her by herself. She had left JJ with Grace for the time being, who was more than happy to play babysitter.

"Lisbon," Bertram said as he entered the office, he took a seat in front of her and then leaned back in his chair. "The media is waiting outside."

"Yes, sir," Lisbon replied fighting the urge to roll her eyes at the idea of dealing with the media.

"I was hoping that Jane would be with you for this," he told her as he leaned forward. "Where is he?"

"He isn't really comfortable with speaking to the media, sir," she told him which was true even more so.

"Understandable but sooner or later they will want his story on what went down," he told her as he studied her. "This is a huge story and puts the CBI in the spotlight, Jane not getting his revenge against the man who killed his wife and child is a huge part of that story."

"He got his revenge," Lisbon reminded him.

"How so?"

"Just because he didn't pull the trigger doesn't mean he didn't get what he exactly wanted," Lisbon replied as she stared at Bertram.

"He wanted Red John dead," Bertram acknowledged.

"Yes."

"And what is he going to do now?" Bertram asked finally getting to the point.

"You mean is he going to continue to work for the CBI?" Lisbon countered.

"Yes," he nodded his before leaning back once again. "He is an important asset to the CBI and his ability to close cases is something I would like to keep."

"Sir, it is up to Jane on what he wants to do with his future," Lisbon replied as the conversation the night before with Jane replayed in her head. He would follow her anywhere she went, but where was she going go?

"I think you control his future," Bertram slightly smile as Lisbon looked away from him. "You two have a child together."

"Yes, we do."

"What are you planning to do?" Bertram asked her softly.

"Depends," she told him. If she didn't pass her evaluations then she would be forced to rethink her future. Even with Dr. Miller soon to be helping her she wasn't sure if her career with the CBI was as important as it had been before JJ became part of her life.

"I would hate to lose a fine agent," he told her truthfully.

Lisbon gave him a nod. "There is a lot of things that Jane and I both need to work out sir, together and apart."

"A lot has changed for your entire team," Bertram told her before getting to his feet. Lisbon did the same. "If you need anything, please let me know."

"Thank you, sir," Lisbon told him with a smile.

"Shall we?" He asked as he motion to the door. Lisbon followed him out to the crowd of media reporters who started asking question the moment she came into view.

* * *

"Jane?" She tapped on the attic door and waited.

"Yes, dear?" He asked from inside the room.

"Open the damn door," she told him annoyed that he still keep the place locked. She heard movement and then he slide open the door. Moving away he let her enter the room where her breath caught in her throat.

"Jane," she said shocked as there were candles placed around the attic, a blanket on the floor with some Chinese takeout sitting by it.

"I figured since we didn't get to celebrate our engagement that we would do it now," he told her as he wrapped his arms around her waist. She leaned against him for a while as she took it all in.

"It's perfect," she turned in his arms and gave him a deep kiss.

"Almost perfect," he told her as he reached into his pocket and pulled out a box. "Your ring."

She opened the box and looked down at the ring. It was modest and elegant, taking it out of the box he slipped the ring on her finger.

"Now it is official," he told her as he leaned down and kissed her.

Lisbon stared at the ring on her finger, more than a little surprised to see it on her finger, so much had happened in the past few days. "When did you get this? How did you know my ring size? I don't even know that!"

"Dear, I know more things about you than you will ever know," Jane replied simply.

"You sure about that?"

"Uhh, pretty certain."

She couldn't help but smirk, she was in the mood to play a little. "I've surprised you before."

"Yes, you have surprised me on a few occasions," Jane admitted but he wasn't going to give up his ground. "But I always get the last word."

"That's true...why did I agree to marry you again?"

He grinned. "You love me, have for a long time."

Lisbon decided to tease. "And how would you know that?"

"Because I knew the moment that you fell in love with me."

No way, he was lying. "You know that?"

"Well, it was rather obvious," Jane told her with a shrug.

She shook her head. "No it's not."

"Wanna bet?"

Lisbon nodded certain on this one. She knew never to bet Jane…but this was one of those rare occasions that he had to be wrong. "I bet you're wrong."

"Alright how about I tell you the moment you fell in love with me and if I am wrong I promise to behave myself for a week, no extra paper work."

She raised an eyebrow, that sounded pretty good."And if you're right?"

"Oh, I think you can pay me someway."

Somehow Lisbon knew she'd like losing. "Deal."

"Great." Jane gave her a knowing smirk. "You knew you were in love with me when I pulled my stunt in Vegas."

"Okay...but that doesn't mean I fell in love with you then, just that I knew. And really Jane, that was easy, you recognize you love something when you think it is lost." Lisbon pointed out. "Like when you realized you had feelings for me when you shot Hardy." She saw his eyes widen a little there so she knew she had him. Things changed after Jane shot Hardy, for one they had just been arguing over the fact that he would give up his own life for Red John…and then he saved hers instead. She'd only been able to draw one conclusion and that was that Jane was not willing sacrifice her for his goal.

He'd been a little quieter for a while after that, like something was bothering him. She didn't much think about it again until he'd blurted out that he loved her before pretending to shoot her. She'd had a lot of time to think about things after that and if she had to guess when Jane began to realize how he felt for her…it had to have been when he realized that her life meant more to him than anything.

Jane smiled softly at her. "You're right." Then he gave her another long look. "You started to fall in love with me the moment I left the paper frog on your desk. You just didn't know it or ignore it."

"What?" that didn't make any sense to her.

"The paper frog, which still sits in your desk drawer."

"How did you…?" Lisbon had no idea how he knew about that origami frog but she shook her head. "No I found you annoying then. I didn't love you!"

"No you didn't. You wanted to help me; you want to help me feel better by any means." He pointed out. "You knew you were going to stand by my side and help because you saw something in me that no one else notice."

She ducked her head, a little embarrassed to be described like that. "...You were like a lost puppy...how could I not help you?"

"Lost puppy? Really?"

Lisbon nodded. "Yes, with big eyes and curly hair that every woman can't help but love."

"But I didn't fall in love with those other women, I fell in love with you. So tell me am I wrong or right?"

She grinned. "Do I even have to answer?"

"No, because our minds are in sync and I already know what you are thinking."

Lisbon stepped closer, wanting to be wrapped in his arms. "What am I thinking?"

"You are thinking. 'How is it possible that I want to strangle and kiss him at the same time."

"Good guess." She smiled knowingly, "Now what do you think I'm going to do?"

"I think I can safely bet on the kiss."

"Yeah you can."

And that is exactly what she did.

* * *

_Epilogue_

_Several Months Later_

Lisbon reached out with closed eyes for the warm body that had been occupying her bed for the past several months. As her hand felt the cold sheet she opened her eyes and looked around, the moonlight through the clouds was streaming into the bedroom giving her just enough light to notice that Jane wasn't with her. Looking at the clock she noticed that is was 2am on Christmas morning. The three of them had just gotten to James's place two days ago after a long debate on whether or not the three of them should visit her brothers for the holidays. Jane had pushed her to see them, stating that they needed the chance to get to know JJ better and he was still trying to earn their trust, well at least James, the other two had decided that Jane was a good addition to the family. Even after their wedding James still didn't approve her of choice to marry Jane but he had kept his mouth shut for the most part, Lisbon had an inkling that her sister-in-law had something to do with that.

Getting out of bed she padded over to the crib and looked down at JJ who was sound asleep, a smile crept on her face as she pulled the blanket over him to keep him warmer in the cold Chicago night. Wondering where Jane had gone off to, she softly left the room and walked down the hallway hoping that she wouldn't wake up her brothers who were all sleeping as she entered the living room she notice blond hair sticking up above the couch. The light from the Christmas tree lit the room nicely as she walked over to him.

"What are you doing?" She whispered as she took a seat next to him, she lifted her legs so they were sitting almost under her as she leaned against his chest, his arm wrapped around her as he used his other to give her some of the blanket he was using.

"Watching it snow," he told her softly as his hand came to rest on her shoulder. He nodded to the window that he was looking out of.

"It's peaceful," she whispered as she snuggled into him more.

"I never got to watch it snow much growing up," he admitted as he looked down at her.

"I was glad to get away from it."

He laughed softly "Doesn't surprise me, you are not one for cold places."

"You should come to bed tomorrow is going to be a big day," she told him as she closed her eyes and listen to his heart, which was slowly lulling her back to sleep.

"Ah, yes the Lisbon family Christmas. I'm looking forward to it."

"You are the only one," she snorted.

"It is only a few days more. Plus they are your family," he reminded her.

"Remind me of that when I threaten to kill James for one more comment about us," she told him. "I love my brothers, I do, but I can't take much more of this family togetherness."

Jane leaned down and kissed the top of her head. "Before you know it we will be back at work dealing with dead bodies, something I know you are looking forward to."

Lisbon opened her eyes and chewed her lower lip; she had just recently been cleared to go back to work after spending some time on desk duty. "Maybe."

"What is wrong?" Jane asked as he sense her anxiety.

"Nothing," she replied quickly as she moved away from him. "I want back in the field it is just..."

"You are worried that you can't hack it?"

"No."

"Then what?"

Shaking her head she leaned back against him. "Nothing."

"Teresa, just tell me." he moved her so she was now facing him. She studied him for a few seconds before.

"You know, don't you?"

"Know what?"

"Don't be a smart ass," she slightly slapped him on the arm where he faked a wince.

"Yes, I know you are pregnant again," he told her finally.

Her eyes widen "How did you know?"

"Well it is obvious, but also your doctor called to confirm," he told her with a smile.

"You listened to my messages? Do you have any sense of privacy?"

He thought about it for a second. "No," shaking his head before leaning over to kiss her. She broke the kiss and looked at him.

"So you are happy?"

"Of course. And she will be perfect."

Lisbon raised an eyebrow. "She? I'm still too early to determine the sex of the baby."

"I have a good feeling."

"Sure you do."

"Wanna make a bet?"

She shook her head. "I refuse to bet a con man."

"Scared you will lose?"

"To you? Yes," she laughed as he got to his feet the blanket fell to the floor as he headed over to the decorated tree. "What are you doing?"

"Getting your gift," he told her as he reached down for the small box and came back over to her.

"Shouldn't we wait for the family?" She told him as he placed the gift into her hands.

"They can miss one gift," he informed her as he picked up the discard blanket and wrapped it around her shoulders.

"What is it?' She asked as she looked at the box suspiciously.

"It won't blow up in your face," he laughed and then nodded to her to open it. Taking the bow off the box, she lifted the top of the box and looked inside. Nestled inside white paper was a silver key.

"A key?" She asked as she picked it up.

"Yes."

"A key to what?"

He licked his lips and then smiled at her. "Our house."

Lisbon looked at him stunned, yes they had been looking at houses but the one she wanted the most had been out of their price range. "The one we were looking at?"

"Yes," he grinned even more at her.

"But we can't even afford it," she pointed out once again.

"We can now."

"How?"

"I asked Bertram for a raise."

"What?" She asked shocked.

"I told him that if he still wants me to consultant on cases then I would be requiring a much needed raise and considering how many cases I solve, and the new baby coming, I thought it was a good reason to ask for one," he explained to her was she looked at him still stun.

"And he said yes?"

"Do you really think he would say no?"

"Still, we can't afford it; even with your pay raise which I seriously question on how you got Bertram to agree, there is no way we can..." she was cut off by him

"I sold my house," he whispered.

"What?"

"I sold my Malibu home along with the cars," he explained. "All except my baby which is finally out of the shop."

"Yes, god forbid you should sell that piece of junk."

"It isn't a piece of junk," he said defensive before cupping her cheek. "Teresa, we can afford the house. I already talk to the realtor and filed the paperwork, it is ours."

"You are serious," she said, as she looked him in the eye.

"Yes," he whispered before she leaned over to give him a quick kiss the she wrapped her arms around his neck burying her head in his shoulder. "I want to give you everything you deserve and our growing family deserves a home," he pulled her head back so he could study her. "The home you told JJ about."

"I love you," she told him simply.

"I love you too...the three of you," he added as he placed his hand on her growing stomach. Her hand rested on his.

"Should we tell them?" She asked as she looked up to the bedrooms.

"Yes, maybe James will spare me seeing it is a holiday."

"You don't know my brother."

"Is he really the type to draw blood on Christmas Day?"

"Answer me this; if you pissed me off enough do you think I would?" She asked with a smirk.

"Fair enough, how about we tell him as he is dropping us off at the airport," he suggested with a smile.

"That might work, we'll just have to get the bags out of the car first," she added as he laughed as he got to his feet.

"Let us worry about it in the morning," he held a hand out to her. She nodded and grabbed his hand, allowing him to her lead her back to the bedroom they were staying in. As soon as his head hit the pillow Lisbon snuggled up to him, wrapping an arm around his waist and laying her head on his shoulder.

"When can we move in?" She whispered as she closed her eyes.

"As soon as we get back home," he told her as he yawned and closed his eyes.

"Patrick?"

"Yes?"

"I hope you are right."

"About?"

"Our next child being a girl," she told him right before she started to fall asleep.

"So do I," he muttered as he gave her a kiss on the top of head and allowed sleep to overtake him.

* * *

A/N: Well that's it, all good things come to an end. Thank you for sticking through this CRAZY ride that only two people as evil as us could come up with hehehe. Just wait we are already planning another collab hehehe.


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